


When Love Comes in Three

by umthisisawkward



Category: Far Cry 5
Genre: Anal Sex, BFF Faith, Breeding Kink, Bunker AU, Canon Divergence, Controlling Joseph, Daddy Kink, Daisy just wants peace someone give it to her, Deputy Daisy Adkins needs a hug, Dirty Talk, Drama Queen John, Drug Use, F/M, Foursome - F/M/M/M, I'm Sorry, Jealousy, Manipulation, Mentions of past abuse, Mentions of past sexual assault, Miscarriage, Multi, Polyamory, Polyseed (Far Cry), Porn With Plot, Pratt is kind of an asshole, Pregnancy, Protective Jacob, Slight humiliation kink, Threesome - F/M/M, Troubled Past, all the bunkers are connected so that's a thing just don't ask questions, first fic on AO3, lots of confusing emotions, lots of weird situations, pre-Collapse and Post-Collapse, sometimes more plot with porn, somewhat forced marriage, the Resistance members can be assholes too sometimes, the Spread Eagle has a karaoke night so one chapter reads like a songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-08
Updated: 2020-01-15
Packaged: 2021-02-27 07:28:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 36
Words: 93,476
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22173319
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/umthisisawkward/pseuds/umthisisawkward
Summary: Deputy Daisy Adkins finds herself in the Seeds' care after a near-fatal plane crash, and Joseph has an offer for her that she wishes she wanted to refuse.
Relationships: Deputy | Judge/Jacob Seed, Female Deputy | Judge/John Seed, Female Deputy | Judge/Joseph Seed, Jacob Seed/Original Female Character(s), John Seed/Original Female Character(s), Joseph Seed/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 26
Kudos: 124





	1. Chapter 1

I took a deep breath, or tried to, anyway. My lungs craved air but if I inhaled too deeply, a piercing pain lit up my ribcage. My vision was blurry, my head throbbed and my heart was a rapid drum inside my chest. _What the fuck happened?_ I couldn’t remember. My hearing was pretty shot, but I felt the cold air blowing harshly against my skin, so I knew I was outside somewhere. I tried to inhale as deep as I could but a groan of pain escaped me as my ribs flared up again. 

  
As my hearing slowly started returning, I could tell I was not alone. Someone was with me. My memories of what I was doing before all that shot to the front of my mind. I’d been with Nick. I’d been trying to get John. John, who had the key to the bunker, the key to Deputy Hudson’s cell. My heartbeat grew louder as flashes came back, droning out the voices that I could vaguely hear around me. I found myself praying I was safe, that I was not in the hands of the cult I’d been slowly destroying over the last few weeks. 

  
“She’s waking up,” a man’s voice said. It was a voice I knew all too well. My stomach turned sour at the sound. “What do we do?”

  
“She’s disoriented,” another voice said.

  
“Could we give her any more Bliss? It seems like it hasn't worn off yet.” A third voice. All of them men.

  
“Faith?” The first voice asked.

  
“It should’ve worn off,” she replied, her voice uncertain. “She hit her head pretty hard, Father. I mean, she crashed the airplane and fell a good bit from the trees, so her head likely took some of the hit. That’s probably why she’s so groggy. Plus I’m sure she’s in severe pain.”

  
_Shit. Shit, shit, shit, shit, motherfucking shit_. I felt a hand on my shoulder and tried to move away, but my movements were too sluggish. It was like my entire body was encased in quicksand. The voices talked over each other, all trying to whisper because they knew I was waking up. I wanted to scream, but my throat felt like sandpaper. I tried to move again, but the hand on my shoulder was too strong. _Who is it that’s holding me?_ My breath came in roughly, as if my lungs couldn’t get enough of it. My ribs were on fire but I didn’t care. I just needed to breathe, to get some oxygen into my head and then get the fuck outta there. 

  
“She’s not gonna like it when she wakes up,” I heard the gruff voice say from the left of me, near my feet. “We gotta tie her up like I said.”

  
“Jacob, we need to love her. Loving her does not include tying her up,” Joseph replied. “She’s in too much pain to move. We need to get her onto a bed to finish stitching up the other wounds, and to set her broken bones.”

  
“Anyone else we would’ve tied up and brought for atonement, Joseph,” John said, his voice strained. He was probably holding himself back from hurting me, considering I had just tried to kill the man and shoot his airplane down. I couldn’t really blame him.

  
“She isn’t anyone else,” Joseph replied back, his tone angry. “She’s special to this project, John. Or were you not listening when I informed all of you about my visions of her?” 

  
Based on where his voice was coming from, and the fact that someone was cradling my neck and head, I figured out that Joseph was behind me. I did not want to touch him in any way, shape or form at the moment, especially considering the fact I’d tried to kill his little brother. So I tried to move, desperate to get away from him. From all of them. From all the people I’d been trying to murder since my arrival in Hope County.

  
“Deputy, please,” Joseph’s voice was close to my ear and I jerked away at the feeling of his breath on my skin. “We want to help you.”

  
I tried to speak but it came out as a slurred groan. _What’s wrong with me? Did I really fallen out of a crashed fucking airplane like Faith had said? How high up was I when I fell? How’d they know where to find me? Why didn’t Nick help me? Did the Resistance abandon me to save their own skins?_

  
I let out a frustrated huff as that idea floated into my mind. The past few weeks, ever since that goddamn helicopter crash, had been hell. It was like I was the only one who could handle any of the problems in the county. I’d done so much for them and in return, they’d left me for dead in the middle of the forest, to be found by the enemy I had worked so hard to destroy for them. I knew the world was a selfish place. Hell, I’d known that my whole life. But to think that no one had tried to help me, or even bothered to investigate the site of the crash, made me furious.

  
“She doesn’t want our help,” John said. “Joseph, she wants to go back to her friends.”

  
_Are they really my friends?_ I thought they were, but now...

  
“She can’t go back to them like this,” Joseph replied. He leaned in to speak to me again, his breath tickling my ear. “Please, Deputy. Let us heal you. Then you can walk free and join your friends again.”

  
I heard a bitter laugh. John again. “You’re gonna let her join those sinners again?” he yelled. 

  
His voice echoed and I just wanted to punch him in the face for how loud he was. My head pounded roughly and it felt like my brain was banging on my skull.

  
“She’ll just start trying to murder us again!”

  
“John, please.” 

  
“This is fucking bullshit-”

  
“Language!” Joseph’s voice had lost all sense of patience. I heard him sigh, as if he was trying to calm himself. “If we leave her here, she dies.”

  
“If we stay here much longer, the Resistance will gather enough people to come looking for her. She’s been missing for two days, already. Then, _we_ die,” Jacob added.

  
_Two days? Fuck_. I figured it’d just been a few hours, but the anger returned in my belly at the realization that I’d been there for two days and somehow they hadn’t managed to band together and come look for me?

  
“If the light of the Resistance has been missing for two days and no one’s found her, they’re not trying hard enough,” John said. “Or they don’t care. I doubt they’ll come if it’s taken them this long.”

  
For once, I agreed with the insufferable little shit. Jacob seemed to agree too as he hummed thoughtfully.

  
“Faith, she’ll need more Bliss if we’re going to move her. It’s going to hurt. She’s got two broken ribs.”

  
_So that’s what that pain in my ribcage is. Great. What the hell else is wrong with me?_

  
“I’ve got a vial here somewhere,” she said.

  
I started to squirm as much as I could in Joseph’s grasp. I tried to lift my head but it fell back against his legs, and when I attempted to move my left arm, a shooting pain coursed through me the second I lifted a single finger. Fuck. Broken arm, too. From those two injuries alone, I knew it would take me weeks to heal. Weeks of living alongside the Seed family. Weeks of living with people who I’d just tried to kill. _Shit, shit, shit, shit_.

  
I tried to move my legs and felt less pain but there still wasn’t enough energy or strength in my entire body to move them. Someone, likely Jacob based on his military strength grip, grabbed my left leg and tried to hold me down. A guttural cry escaped my lips and I pushed my leg out as hard as I could. My foot found some form of muscle and flesh, and I heard him “oomph”. I felt a slight moment of triumph before new hands replaced his. Probably John, who was the last fucking person I wanted touching me at the moment. 

  
Out of nowhere, a finger pressed inside my leg, almost hitting bone and I screamed as the sharp, unexpected pain grounded me harshly. I sat up and blinked my eyes, breathing heavily and wincing as my broken ribs painfully protested the movement. My eyes adjusted and while my vision was still swimming, I could make out John’s sadistic smile and the fact that his bright blue eyes were lit up with glee as he removed his finger from the wound in my leg.

  
“John!” Joseph scolded.

  
“Woke her up, didn’t it?” 

  
“Let me go,” I said, my words barely escaping my lips. It was like a breath, a prayer, even. “Please.”

  
Joseph sighed. “My child, you need to heal.”

  
His voice was soft and oddly calming. He eased my head back into his lap and I started to cough, which made me wonder if there was some internal bleeding. Maybe I was going to die, and I figured that would be better than spending weeks with the Seed family taking care of me. Or whatever the fuck they were planning to do with me.

  
“Please,” I begged again, my voice sounding rough and gravely as tears blurred my vision. 

  
_Fuck, this is just great. Absolutely awesome_. _As if this situation can’t get any worse. Now they’re going to see me beg and cry._

  
“John, get her some water,” Joseph said.

  
John let out a very exasperated sigh but stood and walked over to the river, easing my panic as he got farther away from me. He came back with a canteen that dripped with excess water and handed it to Joseph, who brought it to my lips and tilted my head a bit so I could sip it. Water had never tasted so damn good on my tongue and I let out a moan as it soothed my impossibly dry throat. I gulped down as much as I could before Joseph took it away from me.

  
“Don’t be greedy now, my child,” he said with a smile as I let out a frustrated noise. “We’ll get you some more when you are in better condition.” He looked over to Faith. “Do you have the vial?”

  
“Yes, Father,” she replied as she came into my line of vision.

  
I started to thrash in Joseph’s arms again, and the brothers held me down (gentler than before, thankfully) while Joseph held my arms and my head in place.

  
“We need to move you, my child. This will lessen the pain.”

  
“I don’t want it! I don’t want any fucking Bliss! I’m not one of your goddamn Angels!”

  
“This amount will not make you an Angel,” Joseph said. “It will just help with the pain and calm you down.”

  
“No!”

  
I resisted for another five minutes before my energy drained from my weakened body. My eyes followed Faith’s movements as she blew the powder in my face. I tried to hold my breath but somehow still managed to inhale it. Almost instantly, everything felt lighter. I sighed as my legs and arms were released. Someone picked me up with care - like I was a fragile china doll.

  
My head started to slip and a hand gently grabbed my arms to move them around their neck. I moved within the cradle of arms to rest my head on whoever’s chest it was that was carrying me. I saw dog tags clinking against their chest and knew immediately that I was in the arms of Jacob fucking Seed.

  
I should’ve felt frightened. I should’ve felt absolutely fucking terrified. I knew I should try to fight him, to run away and get back to the Resistance as quickly as possible. My mind wandered to Dutch, to Nick and Kim, to Hudson and Pratt and Whitehorse and everyone else still stuck in the clutches of the Seed family. Deep within me, there was a desperate feeling to weep, but the drug didn’t let that feeling burst through to the surface. It dulled the pain within me and overpowered the fear and anguish I felt stirring in my chest and belly. Instead I felt pure relaxation, and I fucking hated it. I hated that I suddenly felt comfortable and safe in the arms of a psychopathic killer who tortured and murdered people all the time because of a Voice his brother heard in his head.

  
I purposefully ignored the fact that I felt safe. I was not going to analyze that while high out of my mind on Bliss, because who knew what kind of rabbit hole that would lead me down. But he wasn’t hurting me, he wasn’t let me fall. He carried me with the care that a parent would carry their sleeping child. Didn’t that mean that I was, technically, safe? A sigh blew through my lips and I pressed my nose into the crook of his neck. His steps faltered for a moment before he continued moving. I inhaled his scent, which smelled of sandalwood, sweat, pine and cigarettes, maybe? It wasn’t a horrible smell. Maybe he isn’t such a horrible person, I thought. Maybe this is all one huge misunderstanding.

  
There was a part of my brain that tried to reason with me, tried to remind me that I was drugged as all hell and that the man carrying me had tried to kill me, tried to kill many of my friends, that his entire family was murdering innocent civilians and torturing them and forcing them to convert to their messed up religion. But that part of my brain was just too quiet, the calm and peacefulness of the Bliss droned it out with a loud silence. The last thought in my head was that the arms felt like home, before all went black.

  
~

  
The next thing I knew, I woke up in a bed. It was warm and soft and honestly, the most comfortable fucking mattress I’d ever had the pleasure of lying on in my life. I figured that I felt so strongly about it because hell, I hadn’t slept in a bed in almost a month, mostly holing up out in the wilderness or on the floor somewhere, so the soft mattress and the warm blankets were like heaven to me. 

  
The sparkles in my vision were gone, which meant the Bliss was wearing off, so I looked around me, disoriented and confused. _How the fuck did I get here? Where are the Seeds? Where the fuck even am I?_

  
The room was relatively large, but modest. I heard voices mumbling, but had no clue where they were coming from or what they were saying. I glanced to my left and saw Joseph, shirtless, kneeling in front of a cross with his book in hand and the rosary he always had wrapped around the other. He was praying, muttering soft words to himself (or to God or whatever the hell he believed in).

  
I felt fingers at my throat and jerked for a moment before I turned to my right and saw a woman in what appeared to be a medical uniform. She wasn’t even doing anything, just taking my pulse, which my brain didn’t seem to process for a long moment. That woman was a cultist, she should’ve wanted me dead, so why was she taking care of me?

  
“Father,” the woman muttered quietly, clearly not wanting to disturb him while he was praying. “She’s awake.”

  
“Thank you, my child,” he said as he placed the rosary and his book down on a small table under the cross on the wall. 

  
He put his hand on her shoulder and led her to the doorway, where they muttered quietly for a moment before he leaves with her. I heard a door open and close, and then Joseph came back into the room, watching me as he moved towards the bed. My vision was still a little hazy and blurry as he sat down next to me.

  
Oddly enough, I did not feel on guard. Nothing about me felt nervous or worried or terrified, despite the fact that I was clearly surrounded by Peggies, and likely in Joseph’s compound, which wasn’t exactly the best spot for me considering how many of the cultists likely had friends and family members that I’d killed. But at least I wasn’t in a bunker. The room was comfortable, warm, and I could see through a little window into the outside world.

  
“Deputy,” Joseph said after a moment. “How do you feel?”

  
“Horrible,” I replied, my voice just as scratchy and awful as it was before. “Like I fell out of a fucking airplane.”

  
“I’d ask that you don’t curse here, Deputy,” Joseph said.

  
Why the fuck was he so polite? It was irritating, for one thing. There I was, the person who had raised hell in Hope County, the harbinger of the Apocalypse, who had spent the last few weeks trying to destroy anything and everything that belonged to the cult...but he was being polite? I ground my teeth in frustration. Where was the yelling and the screaming? Where was the psychotic murderer everyone always warned me about?

  
“How long am I stuck here?” The question popped out of my mouth before I could even think about it.

  
“You’ll be mostly healed in about six weeks.”

  
“And after that?”

  
“After that, you have a choice. Stay, save yourself from the Collapse, atone for your sins...or you can go back to your friends and continue this brutal and cruel fight.”

  
I didn’t even hesitate. “I’ll resume the cruel fight, thanks.”

  
Joseph sighed and nodded. “I had a feeling that is what you would say. However, you have six weeks to learn what all of this is about, who I am, who my brothers are, who my sister is. Six weeks to realize that we might actually be right, and maybe then you will see that what we’ve been doing here has all been good.”

  
I didn’t like the idea of getting to know the Seed family. I knew them pretty well already, in fact. John was violent and unpredictable. Jacob was brutal and a master of conditioning the human psyche, and Faith was a manipulative bitch who just loved to get me high off my ass at times when it was necessary for me to remain sober. 

  
“You and your brothers are crazy. Same goes for that little adopted sister of yours,” I hissed.

  
The pain in my ribs was blinding but I pushed through it as best as I could. I wouldn’t let Joseph Seed see any weakness in me.

  
He sighed and wore his exhaustion with my attitude plain on his face as he spoke again.“Are you tired, Deputy?”

  
“Of course I’m tired, Joseph. I’ve got some broken ribs, a broken arm...I mean, do you even need to ask that question?”

  
“I’ll let you sleep,” he said. “I will be in the other room. Should you need anything at all, call out. I’ll hear you.”

  
“Where am I?” I asked.

  
I didn’t like the idea of sleeping there without at least confirming my location in case I needed an escape plan at any point in the night. Not that I could go very far, considering the broken bones and the exhaustion, but I felt I was better off safe than sorry later.

  
“My compound. This is my bedroom. No one will bother you, I’ve ordered all my reinforcements to guard you.”

  
“Guard me? From what?”

  
“From anyone who would wish you harm.”

  
“My friends, you mean?” I asked. “You’re ‘protecting’ me from people who care about me?”

  
“Relax, Deputy. We won’t hurt them. There is water on the table.”

  
He watched me as I took the glass and drank it down quickly. His eyes didn’t even change as I realized that sparkles were invading my vision again. Bliss...he’d drugged my water with fucking Bliss.   
_Goddamnnit_.

  
“Not again…” I groaned.

  
“Sleep, Deputy.”

  
~


	2. Chapter 2

The next morning, gunfire startled me awake. I jumped at the loud sound and tried to scramble out of bed, my muscle memory flexing itself as I reached for the shotgun I usually kept next to me when I slept. My fingers groped to find nothing and panic settled in as I tried to move out of the bed. Of course, I fell to the floor with a crash as my leg lit up with pain, and I remembered where I was. 

  
_Right_ , I thought, _I survived falling out of a goddamn plane and now I’m in Joseph’s fucking compound. Surrounded by people who I’ve tried to kill and whose families and friends I’ve also tried to kill. Great. Fucking awesome._

  
I tried to stand but my leg collapsed under me and I fell back to the ground with a cry of pain escaping my lips before I could stop it. My ribs lit up in pain, too and I realized I was stuck.

  
“Deputy,” Joseph’s smooth voice called out in a worried manner as he came into the bedroom. 

  
He rushed to my side and helped me up as best as he could without hurting me. I tried to ignore the shudder and goosebumps that come immediately as his hand closed around my arm.

  
“What the fuck is that!?” I yelled as another gunshot rang through the air.

  
“Language,” he scolded.

  
“Right, okay. What the _fudge_ is that?!” 

  
He laughed and I rolled my eyes at the sound. He was so fucking intolerable. “My men are training outside at the shooting range. I did not think it would be enough to wake you. I apologize.”  


“You didn’t think guns would wake me up? Really?”

  
I took a deep breath to calm myself as my mind realized that I wasn’t really in danger. Well...not yet, anyway. Joseph radioed his men and told them to stop practicing for the day before he turned back to me. He watched me for a moment, as if he was waiting for me to start the next bit of conversation. I didn’t even know what to say at that point - I didn’t want to thank him for helping me, I didn’t want to thank him for letting me sleep in his bed, which smelled like him, by the way and I found that quite annoying. Nor did I want to ask him for anything, either, especially since he’d drugged my water the night before. So I just looked back at him with a strong desire to cross my arms over my chest.

  
“How do you feel this morning?” he asked after a moment.

  
“Awful,” I replied as my stomach let out a particularly loud growl. Heat rose to my cheeks at the sound.

  
“And hungry,” he observed with a soft smile on his lips.

  
“I mean yeah, obviously I’m hungry. I haven’t eaten for what? Three days now?”

  
“It’s a good sign that you have an appetite. Shows you’re healing.”

  
He hadn’t moved from the end of the bed and I felt frustration build up inside my stomach just from looking at him. Why does he have to stand there, staring at me, with a fucking amused expression on his face? And why, for fuck’s sake, does this man never wear a goddamn fucking shirt?

  
“So do you have any food I could eat, or…?” 

  
“Yes. I’ll have one of my men make some chicken soup for you.”

  
“Isn’t starving people more your thing?” I joked.

  
His eyes darkened and his expression shifted to one of anger. _Yikes. Fuck_. “We help people see.”

  
“So you starve them so they see that you’re God or whatever you claim to be?”

  
“I’m a prophet, not God Himself,” Joseph said. 

  
The anger on his face was gone, replaced with the same smile again. He was probably excited that he got to talk about himself to someone new, to tell his story to someone who hadn’t heard it a million times already. The joke was on him though, considering that was all the fucking Peggies seemed to talk about.

  
“You see, I heard the Voice when I was young. I didn’t know what it was until I grew up. Until I knew that God was speaking to me and pointing me in a path to save His people. To father them.”

  
“Gross,” I muttered.

  
He didn't seem to hear me as he continued, “sometimes people do not want to see. They want to live their lives in denial of God’s existence. So they go about their lives, sinning and sinning and sinning. But even the biggest sinner has a chance for atonement.”

  
“Even Hitler?” 

Joseph frowned as he considered what I'd just thrown at him. I hoped that I'd stumped him, and maybe if he was stumped he'd stop doing all the crazy shit he was doing around Hope County. But of course, my hope was lost as he opened his mouth to reply.

  
“Hitler did more than sin, Deputy,” he said as he came closer to me. “He tried to wipe out an entire population of God’s people.”

  
“They weren’t Christian though, they didn’t believe in Christ. Some people even blame them for Christ's death. That’s your whole thing, right? So what do you do with those that practice another faith?”

  
I didn't _like_ anything that I was saying, for the record, but it was interesting to debate with him and see how he responded. Joseph was smart, I knew this from the moment I met him and saw the type of cult he led, and I wanted to hear part of what he had to say.

  
“We help them,” he said.

  
“By hurting them?”

  
“Pain is temporary, salvation is forever.”

  
I rolled my eyes, remembering the nun who whipped my knuckles with a ruler until they bled when I was a child and said a very similar statement as she did it. She got arrested later that year considering I wasn’t a child in the 1950s, but the memory was ever present in my mind. I was a kid who knew when bullshit was bullshit, and Sister Catherine knew it, so she called me out more than any other child in class. Therefore, my knuckles, my arms, and my knees were almost always decorated with blood and bruises. I still had the scars to prove it. So, of course I thought the whole “pain is an atonement for your sins and you’ll feel great later once you die,” was garbage.

  
But I kept my mouth shut. About that part at least.

  
“You’re not just causing pain, Joseph. You’re devastating an entire county of people. You’re taking away their humanity, making them objects which you use to carry out God’s will. And the people on the outside of all of this? They’re terrified. They’re living in fear, wondering when your brothers will beat down their doors and tear their family apart, against their own will.” 

  
I felt pride swell within me for filtering out all the swears I’d wanted to insert into my little speech, but I had a feeling Joseph wouldn’t take me seriously if I swore. He’d just scold me like he always seemed to do.

  
“I mean, God gave us free will, didn’t He? He gave us a choice to follow Him or follow a different path. So why would He suddenly change his mind about all that? Why is He fine with you taking that away from His people?” I said.  


Joseph stared at me in silence. I took in his eyes behind his yellow sunglasses and cursed myself for even taking a second to admire them. They were nice eyes, there was no denying that. Even if they were constantly blocked by piss-colored douche bag glasses. 

  
“You were raised in religion, weren’t you?”

  
“Catholic school,” I replied.

  
My head screamed at me to stop fucking talking to him, but I didn’t listen.

  
“So you know then, that all the Prophets throughout history were laughed at, told they were wrong, treated like lunatics.”

  
“Sure, yeah.”

  
“But Noah was right, was he not? Jeremiah? Moses? Ezekiel? Jesus Christ himself?”

  
“They were right in the Bible, but there’s no proof they were right in the real world. There’s nothing. Sure, Jesus Christ existed and yes, there’s historical evidence of the existence of all the other saints, their miracles, Jesus’s disciples and all that. But is there any actual, physical proof that any of them were really Prophets? Or do we just tell ourselves that they were because it makes it easier for us to cope with life?”

  
Joseph resumed studying me. He’d moved closer since our conversation had begun, and his eyes were near mine. I could feel his breath on my face. I wanted to move but there wasn’t anywhere I could really go without hurting myself. It was odd, having a debate (and a friendly one at that) with Joseph Seed - someone who I always assumed would never listen to reason, who I always thought was crazy. But sitting there with him, I could tell he was an intellectual man, and maybe he did actually believe he heard the voice of God in his head.

  
“I underestimated you, Deputy,” he said after a moment. “I thought you absolutely godless.”

  
“Just because I know all of this doesn’t mean I believe in it, Joseph,” I said. “Personally speaking, I think religion is something humans created to make themselves feel better. We want to think there’s life after death, we want to think we won’t fade into nothingness. We want to place reasoning on our suffering but you know what? Suffering is just suffering. It’s not God testing our limits or our faith. It’s not the result of our sins. Life is hard and difficult and an uphill battle, that’s just how it is. Praying to some voice in the sky isn’t going to make that any better.”

  
“It’s different when that Voice speaks directly to you, Deputy,” Joseph said. “It’s different when God has shown you His plan, has shown you visions of the world ending in great fire and blood. It’s different when you know these things, when you understand them.”

  
“Why’d He pick you?” I asked.

  
“I do not know, Deputy. But what I do know is that God showed me that you have an important role in the Collapse, in the future after it. You are meant to be here. God has brought you to me, He has shown me your purpose.”

  
I suddenly didn’t like the direction the conversation had taken. My mind got pulled in several directions, several possibilities of what he could mean all at once. What role could I possibly play in the beginning of the new world? Another loyal follower? Another Herald like the rest of his family? Another Angel? Another soldier?

  
The one thing in the back of my mind, the one possibility that kept nagging at me, was the one I tried my best to ignore. I didn’t want to see it, didn’t want to hear it or admit it out loud. I didn’t even want to hear my thoughts speak it in my mind. I couldn’t admit to myself that the one role, the only role that would make sense, was one that frightened me beyond belief. I was strong, sure, but the Seeds had shown too much fascination with me for my role to just join the ranks of the Chosen, or to just follow their teachings blindly. There was something deeper, something darker that I felt in the pit of my stomach but refused to even speak aloud.

  
“What do you mean?” I asked him.

  
“You’ll know in due time, Deputy.”

  
“Daisy,” I said, before my brain could catch up and panic about the fact that I’d just given him my name.

  
“What?” Joseph asked, taken aback for a moment.

  
“I’m gonna be here for a while, you might as well call me by my name. Which is Daisy.”

  
Joseph smiled big as he placed his hand on the back of my neck and rested his forehead on mine. “Daisy. A beautiful name.”

  
With that, he stood and headed towards the door.

  
“Joseph?” I called after him. He popped his head into the doorway. “I’m gonna get bored. You got any books or something I could occupy my mind with?”

  
“Ah, of course.”

He left and came back with his own Book of Joseph in his hands and for a moment, I regret even asking. He placed it on my bedside table with a smile. I wanted to groan aloud but kept quiet and wondered bored I’d have to get before I picked that up and actually read it.

“My brothers and Faith will also be around to keep you company.”  


_What the actual, ever living fuck?_

“Wait, what? Why?”

  
“You need to get to know them, Daisy. You need to learn to love them.”

  
He left me sitting there, staring after him, my mouth wide. _Shit. Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, motherfucking shit_. I was about to be stuck in a bed while Jacob, John and Faith sat with me and pretended to get to know me. I was not ready for that whatsoever. I took a deep breath, wondering how the hell I would handle that. 

  
Joseph brought me soup and sat with me while I ate, reading aloud from his book to me. I fell asleep as soon as he left me.

  
~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading thus far if you have!! :) Also, heads up, there will be mentions of past abuse/past sexual assault in the next chapter, so if that's something that's difficult for you, I'd recommend skipping it. I'll put a little summary of the chapter at the end in case anyone wants to do that. Also, I'm sorry if the formatting is weird. I'm still trying to figure this all out.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi there! Just a trigger warning here: there's mentions of past abuse/past sexual assault in this chapter. Plus there's Drama Queen John framing it in the wrong way. There is also a very brief mention of attempted suicide. If you skip this chapter, I've got a summary of the main plot points in the end if you want to read that.

I dreamed of absolutely nothing but a gentle shake woke me up a few hours later. I blinked my eyes open and saw John standing at the foot of my bed, Joseph on the bed next to me where he always sat. I rolled my eyes at the fact that Joseph sitting on my sick bed had become some sort of ritual. How weird was that?

  
“You have a visitor, Daisy,” Joseph said.

  
I kept my eyes on John, who wore a cocky smirk on his lips. I wanted to take his head and bash it through the wall, but in my current state, I couldn’t do anything like that and it infuriated me.

  
“And John has promised to behave himself, haven’t you, John?”

  
“Of course, Joseph,” he replied to his brother, but his eyes were still on me.

  
“We’ll have dinner together after you two visit for a little while,” Joseph said as he got up and left the room, closing the door behind him.

  
I was stuck in a very vulnerable position with a man who had tattooed the word “Wrath” onto my chest, who I had tried to kill the last time I’d seen him. If I hadn’t failed and fell out of that fucking airplane, I wouldn’t be in that goddamn room with him, alone and absolutely terrified.

  
“So, Daisy,” he said, my name sounding like poison on his tongue. “You’ve warmed up to my brother it would seem. Finally ready to accept the Father into your heart?”

  
He pulled a chair from the desk in the left corner of the room and dragged it over to sit next to my bedside. I didn’t even want to be in the same room as him, let alone have him close to me when he had that arrogant grin on his face. It was the same look he got when he had someone tied to a chair, helpless, ready to be carved up like a Thanksgiving dinner in front of him.

  
“You’re still scared I’m going to hurt you, aren’t you, my dear?” he asked.

  
“Oh, absolutely fucking not.”

  
He laughed and sat down in the chair, but leaned in to whisper words into my ear. “I would be if I were you. Right now, there’s nothing more I’d rather do than pin you to that bed and carve all sorts of sin into your flesh until you’re screaming, begging for atonement, begging for me to skin you piece by piece until all that’s left is muscle and bone. But my brother tells me you are necessary to the future of Eden’s Gate, so it looks like you’re safe for now, my dear.”

  
“Oh, sure. I feel really fucking safe with you whispering threats about pinning me to a bed and skinning me. Thanks for that, asshole,” I said. “At least your brother can hold a conversation without turning into some sort of comic book villain.”

  
John gritted his teeth and I could see his jaw working as he clenched his fists and balled up the blanket in front of him. His eyes were fire, the kind of fire that could set a soul aflame.

  
“So many sins, Deputy. So many sins and you _cling_ to them.”

  
“I don’t cling to shit.”

  
“Language,” he scolded with a teasing tone, unlike his brother.

  
Joseph was polite, but John had anger behind his words. It was a fucking threat, not a gentle reminder like Joseph’s scolding tended to be. This shit was real.

  
“You love your sins, Deputy. Your pride, your gluttony, your greed…” he trailed off as he looked me up and down. I felt the urge to pull my red plaid shirt over my cleavage, no longer able to button it due to John ripping it days ago. “Your lust.”

  
“What are you even talking about?”

  
“I’ve seen the way you look at my brother, Deputy.”

  
“That’s fucking gross. I look at him like I want to kill him, because I do. End of story.”

  
“I know when you look at him, you’re imagining him fucking you over the alter in the chapel while you call out his name, while you call him Father.”

  
My nose scrunched up at his words. “Jesus. That’s disgusting, John,” I said. “You’re sick. You’re a sick fuck and Joseph’s only made you worse by giving you this fucking power.”

  
“Language!” 

  
Another warning. But he knew he couldn’t fully shout at me unless he wanted Joseph to hear and come into the room and ruin his twisted little game. Was that the only reason he’d traveled all the way here, to torture me? And Joseph actually expected me to try and love him? That was not going to happen at the rate everything was going.

  
He wasn’t totally wrong, though. Not that I ever fantasized about the Seed brothers in any way, shape or form, thank you very much, but they weren’t ugly. They were handsome and charismatic (in their own ways), otherwise they wouldn’t have followers. Hell, Addie and I had compared their looks over beers one day at the Marina, but that didn’t mean I lusted after any of them. Addie, on the other hand...

  
“I’ve seen Lust in you, Deputy. I’ve seen it in how you walk, how you look at him, how you look at me. All of us, including Jacob.”

  
“That’s repulsive,” I growled. “I hate all of you. I hate how powerful you are, I hate that you have control over this entire County, I hate your stupid ideas, how you blindly follow Joseph...I hate every little thing about you. So don’t for one second ever think that I’ve looked at any of you with lust. You’ve tortured me, you’ve tattooed a sin on my chest against my will, you’ve hurt my friends. I’m disgusted by your mere existence, you fucking asshole.”

  
John’s eyes flashed with anger for a brief moment before he regained his composure of his mask. For that mere second, I did feel something for him. Not lust, by any means. But something. I had the sneaking suspicion that he was different underneath all those violent and aggressive layers, but that was the first glimpse I ever got at that person.

  
“I’m disgusted by _you_ , Deputy,” he replied. “Your sins, your foul and disgusting sins. I know you. How old were you the first time you tried to kill yourself?” My eyes widened and my stomach turned sour. “It’s considered Greed to take away a life that is not yours to take. Thinking only of yourself, your own pain. You still think about it, don’t you?”

  
“Shut up,” I hissed.

  
“The sin of Gluttony - spending all your high school summer nights wasted, high on marijuana to numb the pain of your mother’s abuse and the endless parade of cruel lovers that waltzed through your home.”

  
“ _John_ ,” I warned.

  
“Envy - you were envious of every single person who had a better life than you, they made you angry and you wanted so desperately to be them that you hated them with fire inside your blood. Which brings us to Pride. To champion this overpowering envy, you became proud. Too proud. You refuse to let anyone help you, like you are above all of them, the way you did when we tried to save you the other day. Sloth - you went to Church and religious schools all your life, and you refused to pray. You wouldn’t even take the time to pray! You refused to learn your faith and let it flow through you; rejecting it for material things, for physical pleasures. Which brings us to Lust.”

  
“Stop it, John,” I whispered, my voice rough and soft.

  
Tears gathered in my eyes and John wore a proud smile. Pride. A sin. I should’ve taken his fucking tattoo gun and stamped it across his forehead with a picture of the way his face looked.

  
“Lust for every single one of God’s human creatures. Men, women...it didn’t matter to you, did it? As long as they satisfied that itch within you. That longing deep inside of you to be filled up and used like a dirty little whore -”

  
“That’s enough, John!”

  
Joseph’s voice stunned his younger brother into silence and he slowly took his eyes from my tear-stained face to look at his older brother, who walked briskly towards the bed, anger on his face. For once in my fucking life, I was grateful to see him.

  
“She’s sinful, Joseph. She’s covered in sin.”

  
“We are all sinners, John. Look at my skin and look at yours,” Joseph said as he spread out his arms, all the sins that had been carved into his flesh on display. “No sinner is beyond atonement. Especially Daisy. God knows her sins, He sees them the same way you do. But He sees them in a way that helps Him see beyond them, John. Don’t you understand that?”

  
“She won’t admit them, she won’t confess. She needs to confess if we are even to think about allowing her into Eden.”

  
“She will confess, she will atone. But if you continue to mock her in that way, it means you mock the Atonement. It means you mock her Cleansing. It means that you bear no love for her, only Wrath.”

  
John took a moment to cool down in the other room as Joseph wiped the tears away from my cheeks. Both of us were silent as he looked at me, my face still cupped in his hands.

  
“I’m sorry about my brother,” he said. “Before all this, before our family was destroyed, he was a kind soul. He laughed, he smiled. But people saw that and they took advantage of it. The world after our family fell apart was even worse. I know he’s in there somewhere, under all those feelings of resentment and anger and hate. I just...I want you to understand why he is the way that he is.”

  
“He’s a monster, Joseph,” I said, my voice shaking. “He knew things about me that there was no way he could’ve known.”

  
“He has a gift.”

  
“I don’t care. I didn’t need to relive all the shit he dragged me through.”

  
Joseph didn’t scold me for swearing at that time. He wiped more tears away and I didn’t pull away or fight his touch. I didn’t want to think about all the memories John brought up that I’d buried deep down inside myself, I just wanted to lose myself in Joseph’s comforting touch. I didn’t move away when Joseph brought me into an embrace, careful not to squeeze me too tight and mindful of my bandages and wounds. A sob escaped my throat as my mind raced through every single thing John had said to me, memories that I’d buried, either consciously or subconsciously, springing up in vivid color and image.

  
“I am sorry you had to relive all those painful memories,” Joseph said after a moment, still entwined with me. “God has shown me that your past is painful and he has shown me that to heal, you need to examine those memories. You need to confess, you need to look at the sins you’ve committed.”

  
“How is it sin when you have no fucking choice, Joseph?” I cried. I pushed down a sob from creeping up my throat.

  
Joseph paused, pulled away from the embrace and looked into my eyes. “No choice?” he asked.

  
“Sure, yes. I’ll take gluttony. I drank. A lot. My friends were drinkers, my family were drinkers. Hell, everyone I knew drank. But lust?” A bitter laugh escaped my lips. “If God really showed you or John my sins, my past...He showed everything to you out of context. I was not lustful. I was forced, I didn’t have a choice...I didn’t want to!”

  
I could see the heartbreak in Joseph’s expression. “My child…”

  
“How couldn’t I become greedy and want to take my own life, give in to my pain? I couldn’t talk about it, I couldn’t even remember it, I would’ve ruined my whole life if I said anything.”

  
He reached to embrace me again but I pulled away. My whole chest felt tight and the last person I wanted near me was him. I just wanted everything to end, I wanted to go back to my boring life that I had for my first few months on the job. But even those had been hell...was there any way to escape it?

  
“Leave me alone,” I muttered.

  
To my surprise, Joseph obeyed me. When the door closed, I heard muttering behind it and figured Joseph was informing his younger brother about the shit I had gone through, probably spilling all my secrets to him. I let out a sigh and turned my head into the pillow as I tried not to let out a scream as my shoulders shook with silent sobs.

  
Joseph brought me food a few hours later but left me to eat it myself whenever I wanted to. I barely touched it and he took it away, but not before he left a small vial of Bliss on the table next to my bed. I glanced at it and decide to say fuck it. I poured a bit of the powder onto my hand and snorted it.

  
Soon, I get lost in a world where everything felt nice and wonderful as I drifted off to sleep.

  
~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter summary if anyone skipped for the mentions of past abuse/past sexual assault:  
> -Daisy wakes up and finds John is there to talk to her, and Joseph leaves them in the room together.  
> -John lists her sins, and brings up the fact that she's tried to kill herself a couple times, that her home life and childhood was horrible, and then says she was lustful, which he details the completely wrong way.  
> -Joseph kicks him out of the room when Daisy starts crying, and Daisy admits that she wasn't lustful because it wasn't her choice and she couldn't remember anything. Joseph leaves her alone when she asks him to, and she has some Bliss and goes to sleep. 
> 
> Thanks again for reading thus far! :)


	4. Chapter 4

Over the next few weeks, Joseph made sure to stay in the room with Jacob and Faith whenever they came to visit me. Jacob was harmless (to me, at least), I hadn’t had much interaction with him before so he just brought board games with him every time he came. Faith brought some magazines and comic books she claimed to have found “just lying around.” I didn’t ask her where she got them again, afraid that she would tell me they were from someone’s burned down house or something horrible like that.

  
My leg had healed for the most part, only a large cut and a sprain remained, so I was able to walk around a little bit each day. Of course, those walks included Joseph and it was around the compound, where Peggies were staring at me left and right. But at least it meant I was getting some sunlight on my face and some fresh air instead of being cooped up in Joseph’s bedroom for hours on end.

  
My ribs were still slowly healing, and my arm would take a little while longer but it wasn’t horrible. I was used to broken bones and I was just grateful I didn’t have to wear a cast, at least.

  
John didn’t come back to the house and for that, I was grateful, which I told Joseph over dinner one night when we were alone eating spaghetti. He smiled sadly at me and stood to go to the cabinet, where he pulled down two wine glasses and a bottle of red. He set one of the glasses in front of me and the other in front of his plate before he grabbed a corkscrew and opened up the bottle. He poured a liberal amount of wine in each glass and I stared at him as he raised his glass to his lips and took a sip. He made a noise of approval and looked at me. I simply looked back at him, unsure whether it was a test of some kind. He prompted me with his hand and I frowned.

  
“Is this some sort of test?” I asked.

  
“Wine isn’t a sin, Rook,” he said, using the nickname my fellow Deputies had given me. “I’m sure you could use a drink.”

I glanced at him again, my eyes narrowed, inspecting him, but I found nothing suspicious in his expression. I reached out and took a small sip of the wine. It was delicious, so I took another gulp before I muttered a thank you under my breath. Satisfied, he sat back down. I waited for the wine to drug me, to feel the Bliss creep into my vision and knock me out the way it did my first night there when I drank the water.

  
Joseph seemed to sense my anticipation. “You saw me uncork the bottle. It’s safe.”

  
“I didn’t know you liked wine,” I said.

  
“There are a lot of things you don’t know about me, Daisy.”

  
I didn’t prompt him for more information, instead I shoved some spaghetti in my mouth and ate until I was full. Joseph looked at me sternly and I rolled my eyes before I stuffed the last few pieces of broccoli into my mouth so the plate was clean.

  
He took my plate and his and washed them before he came back to the table and poured me another glass. I frowned. Was he trying to get me drunk?

“We can all indulge a little now and then,” he said. “But if you do not want it, you do not have to drink it.”

  
I shrugged and drank up. I could feel that I was getting buzzed already. It was a warm feeling, a nice feeling. Joseph pulled out a chess board and we played a game, which I lost. We played again and finished the bottle, at which point Joseph said it was time for bed.

  
He helped me to his room since my ankle flared up a bit. I didn’t think twice as he helped me change into my nightgown. He had helped me bathe already and it was nothing new for him to see me in a state of undress -it was almost routine at this point. So he pulled the shirt and shorts from my head and hips and guided a nightgown over my body. It was light and felt comfortable against my skin as I got into bed, careful not to hurt my ribs or my arm.

  
“Joseph?” I said as he was about to leave. “Thank you.”

  
“What for?”

  
“Everything.” I felt braver all of the sudden, probably from the wine we’d had. “But can I ask you something?”

  
“Of course,” he replied.

  
“What role am I to play? Once the Collapse happens?”

  
He paused, his expression thoughtful. He took a moment and closed his eyes and bowed his head. I figured he was praying - asking the Lord above for His permission to speak of his visions. I waited, awkwardly, for another moment or so before he looked back up at me and removed his glasses, placing them on the table next to his book before he walked over and sat in the same spot at my waist on the bed. His arm bridged over my body to rest on the other side.

  
“You already know, don’t you?” he asked.

  
“I have an idea. I don’t know if it’s right.”

  
“It’s very complicated, Daisy. And I know you’re not going to like the outcome yet. So I am not sure now is the best time for you to know.”

  
“You’re gonna marry me, aren’t you?” I asked.

  
His eyes flashed up to mine and it was the first time I’d seen them without the piss-colored douche glasses blocking them. They were a bright blue, vibrant. Just like John’s. I looked at him and studied his face. He seemed shocked that I knew what was expected of me, that I could figure it out without him telling me. 

  
“Or are you marrying me off to one of your brothers? I’d prefer Jacob, to be honest. I can’t even look at John’s face without wanting to punch him.”

  
He chuckled. “The visions showed you marrying me, Deputy.”

  
“Okay,” I muttered.

  
“How do you feel about it?” he asked.

  
“I don’t know.”

  
“Will you leave your friends, join us here?”

  
“I don’t _know_ , Joseph.”

  
He was okay with that. He sighed as he pushed himself off the bed and left the room with a mumbled ‘goodnight.’ I let out a huff as I fell back into my pillows and he turned off the lights. I couldn’t believe I’d failed at killing John, that I was stuck there in that compound while my friends were likely getting killed every passing day. I didn’t know what was going on in Hope County, isolated on Joseph’s goddamn island. I wondered for a moment about Nick, about Kim, about all the others I had left behind. I wanted to leave that place and go back to them, help them keep up the fight.

  
Would Joseph let me leave, though? Was he serious when he said it was my choice? I felt doubtful, like there was no way he would ever allow me to walk away if he thought God had plans for the two of us. But there was that stupid old saying, if you love someone, let them go. Did Joseph love me? Was he trying to love me? After everything that had gone down since we’d met?

  
I didn’t exactly _hate_ the idea of marrying Joseph, which was something that truly scared me. I didn’t want to join the cult, I didn’t want to live in a bunker to prepare for the end of the world. I didn’t trust the “Voice” inside his head. And no way in hell did I want to confess and atone for my sins - especially if John was involved. But there was a part of me that actually had enjoyed my time with Joseph. Our conversations had always been civil and he had taken care of me when I was left in the woods to die alone.

  
_He’s also a psychopath that’s murdering all your friends, you fucking idiot_ , I reminded myself. He was the whole reason Hope County was so fucked up. So many innocent people were dying. Deputy Hudson...she was still in John’s claws. I felt panic for a moment, wondering whether I could sneak out and get the key around his neck and set Hudson free. I knew I wasn’t well enough yet, but I kept that thought in the back of my mind, for a day when I was healed.

  
~

  
Jacob stopped over the next day and played another board game with me. We didn’t really talk much, and I liked it that way. It was better than John yelling at me about my sins or Faith talking on and on about the Father and his teachings. Jacob, who I expected to be creepy and weird and violent, was a relatively calm guy. For the most part. If he lost the games, I could tell he was trying to control his rage at the fact that I, a tiny little rookie deputy, had beat him in a fucking board game.

  
“Why do you always bring these?” I asked him one day. My arm was nearly healed and we were playing the game of Life. “You don’t seem like the board game type.”

  
“What kind of type do I seem like, then?” he asked.

  
“I dunno,” I replied. “The hunting type?”

  
He chuckled. “I do hunt, yeah.”

  
“So your hobbies consist of hunting and playing board games?”

  
“I don’t like just sitting in a room and making small talk with someone. And it’s not like I can take you hunting in your state.”

  
“What about after I’m healed?”

  
He glanced up from the board, an eyebrow raised, likely not expecting me to even talk about a future with any of them. I was sure they all thought I would go back to fighting them the minute I was healed.  
I couldn’t explain why, but I felt more at ease with Jacob than anyone else. When he’d carried me the night they rescued me, I felt safe and calm in his arms.

  
“If you’re still here, sure. Yeah. We can go hunting.

  
“Cool,” I said with a smile as I spun the wheel and moved my car two spaces.

  
~

  
A week later, Faith, John and Jacob came over for dinner. It was the first time I’d seen John since he was such a complete and utter asshole, so I wasn’t exactly thrilled about it. Joseph picked out a nice, light blue summer dress for me, along with sandals. My leg still hurt but it wasn’t as horrible as it was before. My ribs were tender, still healing, but the pain had pretty much gone away for the most part if I was lying in bed. Moving around, though, was a different story.

  
Joseph made some chicken, veggies and potatoes. I helped where I could, but it was hard for me with my still healing body protesting many of my movements. Jacob arrived first, then John, then Faith. John no longer had a cocky smirk on his face, and instead looked at me with a genuine smile and kind eyes. I wasn’t sure if that was more or less unsettling.

  
“Daisy, where did you grow up?” Faith asked after prayer and as everyone was digging into the food.

  
“Ohio,” I said. “Just outside of Cincinnati.”

  
“What brought you all the way out to Montana?”

  
I glanced around the table. They were all watching me with rapt interest, as if my life story was one of the most interesting things in the world. It was unsettling for me, especially because I wasn’t sure I could actually trust them. Would they use any of the information against me in the future? Would they really let me go if I want to? What was going on with my friends?

  
“I needed a fresh start,” I said. “I was in JROTC in high school and ROTC in college and then after serving for two years I just...needed to get out. I came out here for a trip after I was done with the military and I liked it. I didn’t want to do anything close to the military for my career so…I just...left home and moved here.”

  
Jacob’s interest was piqued. “That why you became a sheriff’s deputy?”

  
“Yeah,” I said. “Staci actually recruited me.”

  
The name of my fellow deputy left my mouth with a vicious bite to it. It wasn’t that I actually liked Staci Pratt, considering what an asshole he’d been when we dated for a brief period of time when I first moved to Montana. After I broke up with him, he remained very aggressive and almost delusional about our relationship. But just because he sucked as a person sometimes didn’t mean he deserved to be tortured. I’d heard about the cruelty behind Jacob’s torture and I could only imagine what it was doing to him.

  
Jacob glanced up at me and for a moment, I wasn’t sure whether he was going to take the bait. But a wolfish grin appeared on his face.

  
“Peaches?” he asked. “That little punk is a pathetic excuse for an officer of the law.”

  
“He’s not great at a lot of things but he’s always been strong,” I replied.

  
“Not anymore.”

  
My chest tightened at his words. What did that mean?

  
“What’d you do to him?” I asked.

  
“What I always do,” he said. “You haven’t heard the stories?”

  
“Jacob,” Joseph warned. “This isn’t the time.”

  
“He broke faster than anyone else. Immediately fell to his knees, begging for mercy. But he’s stronger now. I made him stronger. I could see the spark in him so I pulled it out. He knows the way now, he knows the person to follow isn’t your old, dried up sheriff.”

  
My mouth tasted foul and my stomach clenched with nausea and pain as I imagined Staci going through the torture I’d heard about from Jacob’s region, specifically from Eli and the Whitetails, but I hadn’t had much time to do much for them in the mere three weeks I’d been there. 

  
Jacob smiled as he saw that he won. I glanced over at Joseph and felt myself become light headed. What were they doing to my friends? What were they doing to the people in the County? Why was I just sitting there while everyone else was suffering?

  
My vision turned to black before I could even think about the answers to all those questions.

  
~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading thus far! :)


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> John gets a little handsy in this one!

Things grew tense after that. I didn’t trust Joseph anymore - not that I did before, but any sort of comfort that had developed between us was gone. I couldn’t think about anything other than my friends, the people who mattered to me, who  _ cared  _ about me. My guilt grew extreme, making me sleep most of the day because I couldn’t face the fact that I was not healed yet, that I couldn’t help them.

After another week, I started to hatch my plan. I heard Joseph and John talking in the other room about Hudson and it made me snap. I wasn’t nearly in the condition to liberate all the regions, but it didn’t mean I couldn’t try. If anything, I could get out of there and back to the Resistance, who could help me heal and help me take back the regions. 

Fuming with anger, I pretended to be asleep much later that evening when Joseph came into my room to check on me around 9:00 pm, long after John had left.

I had to get out of the compound, which would be hard considering that the place was full of Peggies and they would immediately tell Joseph if they spotted me. On top of that, I was still recovering, but I  _ couldn’t  _ just let innocent people fall victim to the Seeds and their fucked up ideas anymore. I'd done that for too long already and I needed to start fighting for them again. So, when the clock hit midnight and I knew Joseph was likely asleep on the couch in the other room by then, I got up. I crept to the table where Joseph had folded and placed my clothes and I changed as quietly as possible. I slipped on my jeans, my torn shirt. I pulled on my boots and ignored the small pang from my ankle, which was still hurting. 

I slipped out of the window. How the hell was I going to make it to John in time, before Joseph realized I was missing? I took a deep breath and headed for the woods. I needed a gun, and once I came upon a Peggie keeping guard, I seized my opportunity. I grabbed him and choked him out until he fell limp in my arms before I took his rifle and the ammo he had on him. I pulled his shirt off and slipped it over my head - I figured it was better to look like the enemy, at least that way maybe I wouldn’t stick out so much.

I dragged his unconscious body back into the underbrush and ensured it was covered up well enough before I left him there. All I needed was a goddamn car or ATV so I could get the hell off the island. I walked through the woods as quickly as I could with my wounded ankle. I somehow knew the right way to go despite the fact that the last time I’d been there, our helicopter had crashed and I hadn’t payed much attention as I sprinted to find safety. It was like my body knew where to guide me.

I looked up and saw that I could see the stupid fucking YES sign from where I was, so I decided that was a good gauge for getting myself off the Island at the very least. 

I found an ATV near by with the key still in the ignition. I prayed that no one would see me, that no one would alert Joseph that I was gone. I couldn’t imagine the punishment I’d receive if I got caught. I calmed myself and reminded myself that I needed to go to John to get the key before I could get Hudson. It was the middle of the night and I figured it was highly unlikely that he would still be at the bunker, torturing innocents, so that meant I had to head to Seed Ranch.

It took me about an hour, considering I had no clue how to get there really and all the maps I had when I was still a free woman helping the Resistance had been taken from me. I parked far enough away that I could sneak in undetected, so I crept through the woods a bit, keeping a lookout for any wild life that might attack me (I had a thing with the wild turkeys in Hope County. They  _ really  _ didn’t like me, and it almost felt like they sought me out to torture me at the worst possible moments). 

When I made it to the Ranch, I saw that the lights were out inside. But I was able to see a few of the guards’ locations, so I sat for a little while and watched to make sure I could understand their rotations. I didn’t see anyone walking around in the house, and I figured John wouldn’t like any guards inside if he was there. He seemed like a man who valued his privacy.

I snuck past a few guards as stealthily as I could. I couldn’t give myself away because that would mean John would likely call for reinforcements, and then I would be a sitting fucking duck. Somehow by sheer luck, I made it into the house, and my intuition was right - John didn’t have any men stationed inside, thank God. 

I tried to remain as quiet as possible though, because something told me he wasn’t a heavy sleeper. I crept up the stairs and saw a room with the door cracked open and peered inside, where I saw him in his bed, asleep. 

I tip-toed over to his bedside and stared down at him for a moment. In his sleep, he looked peaceful, happy, even. The key glistened in the moonlight on his bare chest and I wondered how the hell I was going to get it off of him. There was no way I could slip it over his head, he would wake up. I needed a knife, or something sharp. So I looked around for a moment but came up with nothing.  _ Shit. Shit, shit, shit _ . If he caught me, I was dead. Joseph would be furious, John would be even worse. I took a deep breath as I gently grasped the necklace.

I nearly screamed as a hand closed around my wrist. “Not so fast, there, Rook,” John said. 

He smirked up at me and I tried to pull away, but he kept my arm tight in his grasp. “Let me go!” I hissed.

He pointed a gun he clearly slept with at my head. “Drop the weapon.” I did as I was told and he kicked it across the room. “You got anything else on you?” 

“No.” 

He got up from the bed, of course wearing only boxers that have ridden down low on his hips. I avoided looking down, kept my eyes on his face as he circled me like a bird of prey and I rolled my eyes, knowing he was enjoying his motherfucking power trip. 

“Hands behind your back, dear.”

I did what he demanded, as best as I could with my arm still sore but thankfully out of the cast. He dropped the gun from its place at my forehead and handcuffed me. Of  _ course  _ John fucking Seed had handcuffs in his bedroom, was I even shocked? He moved me so I was sitting on the bed, and then bound my ankles together as well, smiling as I whimpered when he grabbed my still-healing left ankle.

“I’m sorry,” I said immediately as the panic began to set in. 

Why was he handcuffing me? What was he planning to do? Terror welled up in my belly and I worried for a moment that since Joseph wasn’t in the other room to protect me or stop him, he would do something bad to me. Would he hurt me? Would Joseph allow it or forgive him for it if he did?

“I’m sorry. I won’t do it again. Please just...”

“Dressing up like one of our own now, are you?”

“I need to get my friends away from your family. But I didn’t kill anyone, if that’s what you’re so worried about.”

John’s eyes widened in surprise. “Really, my dear Wrath?” He smiled. “Seems like that’s some progress.” 

He pulled a pocket knife from the bedside drawer and cut the shirt off me. He ran his fingers along the tattoo on my chest as he smirked. I moved away from his touch, angry at the fact that he would do this to me. He smiled at my expression and gripped my chin roughly, forcing me to look at him.

“But there’s still so much Wrath pent up inside you.”

“You’re killing my friends, asshole. So yeah, I’d say I’m pretty pissed off.”

“Language.”

“Say that to me one more fucking time and I swear I’ll-”

“You’ll what? You’re tied up, in my bed, at my mercy.”

“You’re really getting off on this power trip, huh?”

“A beautiful, innocent, tied up Deputy in my bed? My dear, that’d get anyone off.”

I wrinkled my nose. “You’re disgusting.”

“I’m not going to hurt you, sweetheart. Don’t you worry. You’re Joseph’s, I’m just enjoying the view.”

I let out a growl and tried to fight against the restraints. “Speaking of Joseph, can’t you just call him and get this over with?”

John tutted his tongue at me. “Not before I have a little fun, first.”

My eyes widened on their own accord as he got closer to me. His hand returned to my chest as he ran it over the tattoo. “What are you doing?” 

“Joseph hasn’t told you the full plan, has he?” he asked as his fingers ghosted along my neck and sent a shiver up my spine. I wasn’t sure if it was a good one or a bad one but I didn’t feel like analyzing it. 

“The world’s going to end and he wants to marry me,” I said. “Pretty fucking straight forward.”

“There’s so much more to it, my dear,” John said. “Joseph has much bigger plans for you. You’re supposed to love  _ us _ .” He placed a kiss on my jaw and I jerked away from his touch. “It’s not my place to tell you, Wrath. But when the world ends, when we emerge from our bunkers and need to rebuild...we’re going to need a new population.”

I tried to move away from him but he just followed my movements, stayed in my space. “So?”

“So. You’re not just a wife, my dear. You’ll be a mother. The Mother. The one who gives the world more of God’s chosen people.” His fingers found the tattoo on my chest again and stroked it while he leaned in close to my ear. “Including my children, Jacob’s children…”

“You’re full of shit,” I said. “Joseph doesn’t seem like the type to  _ share _ , anyway.”

“I’ve seen how you look at us, Deputy. You want us all. You know that’s your purpose in life.”

“My  _ purpose _ ? No, Johnny boy, my  _ purpose  _ isn’t to be a breeding machine for you and your brothers. It’s to kill you, kill your them and get rid of this bullshit cult that’s ruining everyone’s lives in this county.” 

John chuckled as he stepped away from me. “You think you’re smarter than God, don’t you? You know that old saying, if you wish to make God laugh, tell him your plans. Well, sweetheart, he’s laughing very hard right about now.”

I shook my head. I didn’t want it to be true. There was no way. They wouldn’t do that to me - they weren’t  _ that  _ cruel, were they? Well, I wouldn’t put it past John, or Jacob for that matter. But Joseph? I clenched my eyes shut as I felt my stomach begin to churn nervously. Acid rose up my throat, which I swallowed, desperate not to let John know how terrified I was. I wanted out, I wanted to leave. I just wanted to go  _ home _ .

When I opened my eyes, John stood in front of my face with his hands cupped. He blew into them and I coughed.  _ Fucking Bliss. Godfuckingdamnit.  _ I felt the sparkles taking over my vision. It was a  _ lot  _ of Bliss, more than the average amount they’d ever drugged me with. 

Then, I felt myself falling. I landed in a soft field and saw clouds, butterflies all around me. I heard someone humming a song I recognized. 

_ Oh, the Bliss. _

_ Oh, the Bliss. _

_ Oh, the Bliss will set you free. _

_ Oh, the Bliss is gonna make you see.  _

Of course that fucking song. I rolled my eyes but turned to look around me again, and that time I saw Joseph, who stood several feet away from me with his hands behind his back. I ran towards him, towards the safety his arms granted me. Maybe he would save me, maybe everything was all a dream. He turned as I reached him, arms extended in a warm, welcoming gesture. He pulled me into his embrace and held me tight. 

“Daisy,” he said. 

His eyes were swirling with beautiful color. How had I never noticed their beauty before?

“You must accept God’s plan. Accept us. Love us, and we will love you in equal measure. We will shower you with joy, happiness, laughter. We will make everything feel better. Everything. Including the scars, the pain you carry inside you.”

I looked around me and saw the other Seed siblings standing in a circle, with me at the center. They all wore smiles, something I was not used to seeing on their faces aside from Faith’s. Joseph led me to John, who pulled me close and kissed my forehead. Jacob did the same. Faith did the same. I felt like I was floating. 

“We love you, Daisy,” Faith said, her eyes dancing. “We love you.”

I glanced back as Joseph wrapped his arms around me from behind, resting them on my stomach. “We need you, Daisy.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think I finally figured out the way to format this thing, so hopefully this is better than the previous chapters. Anyway, thank you so much for reading this far!! If you also want to follow me on Tumblr, my username is the same as here (umthisisawkward). :)


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We got a LONG chapter here, folks. Mostly because if I broke it up, it would've been much too short. So here ya go!

I woke up in Joseph’s bed again, but I noticed the bedroom door was open through my blurry vision. I wondered for a moment if it was all a dream. Maybe I never left the compound at all. Maybe I wasn’t in trouble. But when I glanced down at my body, I saw my street clothes were back on and dirty. Joseph was not going to be happy with me, that was for sure. 

I kept my eyes closed as I heard voices in the other room coming closer. 

“John, if you behave like that again, Eden’s Gate will be shut to you.”

“Yes, Joseph.”

I cracked my eyes open and saw that John has his shirt off, and blood was dripping down his arm. 

“You need to open your heart to love. That’s the only way you’ll ever be free of this pain.”

“I know, Joseph. Thank you.”

He left and I wondered if Joseph had carved a fresh sin into his arm. And if that was the case, which one was it? I didn’t remember him being overly violent with me. Unless he had done something to me while I was drugged up as all fuck. I hoped to God he didn’t. There was no way I would ever find a way to love him if he had done something like that. 

Joseph came into the room and sat near my waist as he usually does. “I know you’re awake, Daisy,” he said after a few moments. I still feigned sleep, which caused him to sigh. “I know John told you the specifics of the plan the Voice has given me. But I want you to understand something. While that is what God wants, I will never force you to do anything. You won’t be required to lay with me, my brothers. None of that. Rape is a horrid, disgusting, vile thing. And with your past, I know you might not believe me. But please know, if you open your heart, if you accept us, get to know us...you’ll love us as we love you.”

“John doesn’t seem to be full of too much love,” I growled back. 

My eyes snapped open to meet his and I saw that his glasses were off his face and sitting on the bedside table. 

“He assumed you were there to kill him,” Joseph said.

“I don’t care. That didn’t give him a reason to tie me up.”

“He’s atoned for his sin,” Joseph assured me.

“Which was what?”

“Wrath. Again. It’s usually wrath.”

“So he didn’t do anything to me while I was drugged?”

“No, of course not.”

I sighed, my muscles relaxing throughout my body. We sat in silence for a moment, the Bliss was still wearing off and left me slightly out of it. After a while, I looked up at Joseph. I couldn’t do much if I continued to live with him, and I couldn’t join their cult unless I knew that peace would result. There was so much pain still going on, so many people still getting hurt. How could I side with the group that was causing it? 

“I’m not opposed to becoming your wife, Joseph. I don’t know how I feel about all the other stuff. But that, I’d be fine with,” I said. His face lit up with a smile. “But  _ only  _ if you let Hudson, Pratt, Burke and Whitehorse go. Only you let anyone you’re holding against their will go. And if you stop forcing people to convert, you stop stealing people’s things, and you stop hurting everyone in the County.”

Joseph’s eyes morphed from joyous to angry. He looked at me with fire in his eyes and for a moment, I worried he would hurt me. “I’m doing God’s work, Daisy. I’m trying to save these people.”

“Let them decide whether or not they want to be saved. If they don’t want your help, then what’s the point?”

“They don't know any better, Daisy. They don’t understand.”

“Let them choose. And if they come banging down your door when the Collapse is upon us, welcome them with open arms.”

“They don’t care about God, they don't care about anything. If they come to the bunkers when the Collapse is upon us, they will do it just to save their skins.” 

“So? Would God turn them away?” 

“I don’t know, Daisy,” he replied, his tone one of defeat and sadness. “I’ll let Hudson go. I’ll let the others go. But I can’t stop the conversions.”

“Do it for a little while,” I begged. “Please. Give them some time to move on from the trauma and pain you’ve caused.”

“Very well,” he said. “I will do as you ask, and then we shall marry.”

With that, he stood. I watched as he left the room and flopped back down on the bed, my good arm draped over my stinging eyes. I had just signed my life away. I had just agreed to marry Joseph fucking Seed. And I had no way of knowing if he would keep his word. I took a deep breath before I calmed myself and tried to go back to sleep.

~

Another two weeks went by and I felt mostly healed. Joseph let me watch from afar as they let everyone go from the different bunkers who were held against their will, including Pratt, Whitehorse, Hudson and Burke. Burke got the hell out of there as fast as he could, I heard over the radio. I wondered whether he would come back with reinforcements, or what Faith had done to him while he was in the Henbane.

Joseph told me that the cult stopped the conversions, had withdrawn from the streets. They still patrolled their main outposts with armed guards but there wasn’t anyone forcing anyone else to do things they didn’t want to. He asked me what the proper way was to return all the things the Project had stolen, how to pay it back if it was damaged or gone. I worked closely with him and John to figure out the budget, how much of a hit the Project would face as the result of giving things back. It wasn’t too bad, and I knew there were other ways to get the things they would need. 

I wondered if the Resistance would take the quiet as a time to recoup, or if they would immediately make it a time to strike. I prayed for the first option, that way everything would go according to my plan. I’d marry Joseph, I’d be stuck in a bunker with him for the rest of my life. But at least my friends would be safe and get to live their own lives.

John apologized to me after he let Hudson go. 

“I know this has been hard for you, and I know I haven’t shown you much love in the past,” he said. “I’m sorry, Daisy.”

“Thank you, John,” I said. 

He opened up to me and told me about his past. He told me that he wanted to love me more, it was his own wrath and grudge against me that blinded him. So, he sat with me at my bedside, and the two of us bonded. It got to the point where we were making jokes every time we saw each other, something I had never expected in terms of my relationship with John fucking Seed. 

Once I was feeling better, practically fully recovered, Joseph wanted my baptism to take place that Sunday. I asked about confession, about atonement but he shook his head and said nothing more. When I asked John about it, he told me that I’d already confessed to Joseph and that I already had the sin of wrath carved on my chest. I frowned but didn’t press the matter considering I was not too keen to go through that process again, anyway.

My baptism drew all the Peggies to the river. There were no Angels, much to my relief, since Faith insisted that process had stopped as well, but there were still the Angels coming off the Bliss that needed to heal, so they couldn’t come. Joseph insisted on doing it himself. 

Faith dressed me in a beautiful white dress and weaved flowers into my curly blonde hair. I felt pretty for the first time in months. As I waded into the water, towards Joseph, he had a smile bigger than I’d ever seen before on his face. Oddly enough, I found myself returning it. The moment I stepped into the water, a feeling of calm rushed over me. It was like I was  _ meant  _ to be there.

All went well until I was under water. Suddenly, I started to hear the muffled sounds of gunshots, shouting, splashing. I turned my head in Joseph’s grasp and opened my eyes. Through my blurred vision, I saw feet rushing through the water. I turned to look up again and saw a plane fly above. Nick’s plane. Joseph’s face was still visible through the water and he pulled me up into a land of complete chaos. Bombs were exploding, dead bodies already littered the river. Joseph took me in his arms and started to flee, and I wrapped my legs around his waist. 

“He’s getting away with her!” I heard someone shout. 

I looked over Joseph’s shoulder and saw the Resistance,  _ all _ of them; Dutch, Sharky, Tracey, Hudson, Pratt, the Sheriff, Adelaide, Wheaty, Eli... _ everyone _ . I saw Boomer, my good buddy, a Peggie’s arm in his mouth with blood rushing from the wound into the water. I hoped he wouldn’t get hurt. I saw Hurk and Sharky fighting off a few hunters, and my stomach clenched in fear and anxiety. 

Pratt was the one who decided to run after me. All the Peggies were unarmed, and the ones that were guarding the ceremony were probably already dead. I clung to Joseph, unsure of what I wanted. If I wanted them to rescue me, I knew I needed to hurt him or at the very least, get the hell out of his arms. But I couldn’t bring myself to do it. Not after everything he had done for me.

“Get Joseph! He’s got the Deputy!” Eli shouted.

“He’s getting away!” Hudson screamed.

I heard missiles fire in the air and looked up to see one of John’s planes moving swiftly to land in the water. I didn’t even take the time to wonder how he managed to get there so fast. The only thought that was circling my brain at the moment was what I wanted. I had to make a choice. I heard Nick’s plane flying close, shooting bullets into John’s aircraft. 

“Get on, get on,” Joseph urged as he set me on the wing. The water made the wing slippery, and my legs got caught in my long dress, so I slipped and fell back into the river. I looked up in panic, looking for Joseph’s hand, but he was already in the plane, sitting on the passenger side. He saw me and his expression matched my panic as he tried to get out of the plane, screaming something at John as he did it. 

He freed himself from John’s grip and climbed to the back area of the plane before he reached his arm out for me. I looked at him and then looked back to the chaos behind me. The river was bloody and messy. Hundreds of Peggies were dead. I saw Pratt sprinting for me. He looked desperate to save me. He was so close, only a couple yards away. He started screaming my name and I saw that tears were in his eyes as they found mine. His face was covered in wounds and bruises, and that was all I could look at as he started firing his gun at Joseph. 

I looked back to the Father, and felt as though my body was out of my control. Time felt like it was in slow motion as I reached out and took Joseph’s hand. I noticed the look of relief and joy and love on his face as he grasped my hand in his. He pulled me into the plane and slammed the door shut behind me as John took off into the air. A scream escaped me as bullets began flying at our plane and John started shooting back.

“Don’t shoot Nick down!” I begged, wrapped in Joseph’s arms. “Don’t shoot him down! He’s a new dad!  _ Please _ !”

John let out a frustrated yell before he started heading straight up above the small yellow plane, causing me and Joseph to fall back against each other in the small space. I landed on top of him and he looked at me with concern in his eyes as he ran his fingers through my wet hair and over my cheek. More bullets came flying at the plane and I screamed again as I buried myself in his chest and arms.  _ What if this is how I die? What if I die after choosing Joseph over my friends, the people who love me, the people who banded together to save me? _

John took to the radio. “We’ve got the Deputy, you sinners. If you shoot us down, she dies with us!”

After a moment, there was silence in the sky. I took a deep breath as John evened out the plane. Joseph didn’t release me from his protective grip and before I knew it, I started to cry. To really, truly cry. Something I hadn’t done since I arrived at Hope County. Something I hadn’t had time to do since the fateful night of Joseph’s arrest. Joseph ran his fingers over my head and back, pressed kisses to my forehead and temple. I didn’t know why exactly I was crying. 

Maybe my mind was catching up with the fact that I chose to go with the Seeds. I chose to go with the people who had done so much damage to Hope County. Maybe I was realizing that I had made a mistake. Or I was feeling ashamed, humiliated that I actually felt safe and protected with them. It was unclear to me for a moment until I closed my eyes and saw all the dead lifeless Peggies with their eyes to the sky, floating in the water I had just been baptized in. How many of them were dead? How many? Just as I managed to get Joseph to back off, to stop attacking civilians. Just as peace was on the cusp. 

I couldn’t calm down. I couldn’t breathe, couldn’t get enough air inside my lungs. I felt lightheaded and dizzy. John was worried about me, I saw it in the way he kept throwing glances over his shoulder every other minute. 

“Joseph, what’s wrong with her?” he asked. “Is she hurt? Does she need medical help?”

“No,” Joseph said, trying his best to calm me down. I grasped his hand in mine as I tried hard to ground myself and bring myself down from the panic and terror that was settling in. “I think she is overwhelmed.”

“They’re dead,” I wept. I was barely able to choke out the words through my sobs. “They’re dead. All those people are dead because of me.”

Joseph kissed my forehead. “This was not your fault, Daisy.”

“T-they wouldn’t have attacked if I wasn’t there.” 

“They broke the peace, Joseph,” John said. “Don’t tell me we’re gonna sit here and let them get away with it.”

“We’ll talk about that later.”

“Our men and women were unarmed. We only had five guards with  _ handguns _ . She was getting baptized out of her own free will. Yet they still attacked us with bombs and flamethrowers and weapons of mass destruction. How does that warrant no action?”

My eyes collided with John’s as he looked back at me again, and I could see the fear and hurt in them. He looked over my face, the tears that streaked it, the small amount of makeup Faith had put on my face running in rivers down my cheeks. I buried my head further into Joseph’s chest, unable to look back at John. I wasn’t sure if it was because I was worried he would think I was weak, or if it was because I couldn’t stand the look of love and concern in his eyes.

“Did Faith and Jacob make it out?” Joseph asked as he ran his fingers along my spine soothingly. 

“I don’t know.”

“We’ll go to the bunker for now. Yours. They won’t be able to get in. But I need you to radio Faith and Jacob right now.”

John did as he was asked and there was no answer from either of them. “They gotta be hurt, Joseph.”

“Bring us to the bunker. Then you and I will find them.”

“I’ll come,” I squeaked, annoyed at how small I sounded. “I’ll come with.”

“No, Daisy. Absolutely not.”

“If they’re in trouble, I can reason with the Resistance. I can make sure they don’t get killed.”

John and Joseph exchanged a look before Joseph nodded. “Fine. Let’s land and go by car.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So. Many. Conflicted. FEEEELINGS!!!!!!! :) Hope you enjoyed!


	7. Chapter 7

Once we were all in the car, John got a radio call. “John? Joseph? You there?”

“Jacob?” John replied. “What happened?”

“I just made it back to the Whitetails. Resistance gave me hell. Faith was with me but at some point we lost each other.”

“Did they take her?”

“I don’t know.”

I looked at Joseph and John from the backseat. “Let me go alone.”

“No way,” John replied. “You’ll get killed. They saw you choose Joseph over them. They think you’re brainwashed now.”

“They don't know that. I could’ve been under the Bliss.”

“Let’s say they think that. Why would we let you walk free? It’s going to look bad.”

“Trust me.”

They pulled over and decided to wait for John’s men to pick them up. They took some weapons from the back of the car and I helped them unload it. Joseph gave me a nervous look before he pulled me into an embrace and kissed the top of my head. 

I drove as fast as I could with the assumption that everyone was at the Spread Eagle to have a drink and celebrate their “success”. My heart pounded loudly in my chest the whole drive, I knew they weren’t going to welcome me warmly after what had happened earlier, but I still felt like I had to at least try.

I got there and found Mary May behind the bar, who eyed at me with a steely gaze as I walked through the doors.

“Didn’t think we’d see you again, Deputy,” she said.

“Did you guys take Faith?” I asked as I made my way to the bar. 

I saw Nick, Sharky, Kim, Pratt, Hudson, Hurk Jr., Whitehorse, Adelaide...everyone was there. Maybe that was a good sign, maybe they didn’t have her after all.

“Shoulda figured you’d only be here on Peggie business.”

“You don’t understand, okay?” 

They all gathered around me, eyeing me the same exact way Mary May had moments earlier. But I saw more hurt in Hudson and Pratt’s eyes than the rest of the group. Pratt’s especially. 

“And what is it we don’t understand, Rook?” Whitehorse asked.

“The reason they let everyone go, the reason they stopped attacking the County is because I made a deal with them. Alright? I convinced them to leave you alone and not convert anyone that doesn’t want to join them.”

“Yeah right,” Hudson said. “That’s bullshit if I ever heard it. They backed off because they’re building up their forces to be even stronger. They just wanted us to think there was some sort of peace going on so we’d let our guard down.”

“I swear to you, I’m telling the truth. They won’t attack you anymore. They promised me. They let me look over everything while they released people, they want me to help them with the peace.”

“Yeah, and what about all our shit they stole for themselves, huh?” Hurk Jr. asked. “They just gonna keep it or they gonna give it back?”

“Joseph said he’s going to give it all back. Or pay you back in full for the damages.”

“Let’s just say you did actually convince ‘em to do all this,” Whitehorse said as he looked at me with pure anger and disappointment on his face. “How the hell’d you do it, huh? What the hell could a rookie deputy have to offer them?”

Fury lit up inside me. They all knew what I’d been doing before I crashed that plane, they all knew I was on their side, fighting their goddamn war and winning, for that matter. How many goddamn outposts had I cleared out? How many people had I killed for the Resistance? Yet, my old boss, who used to lovingly call me Rook, was now using it against me. I wanted to scream but I took a breath and focused my mind on how the hell I was going to tell them what I’d done to secure peace for them.

I knew they were going to judge me, that they would think I was lying, think it was a trap. I could feel it in their gazes. I knew they were going to whisper about me, call me a slut or a whore behind my back (or even to my face). I wished there was another way to explain it, to be truthful but in a way that wouldn’t make them hate my guts. 

Peace is a painful thing. There’s no easy way to achieve it. 

“I gave them _me_ ,” I said as I looked Whitehorse dead in the eye. 

The entire group paused, staring at me with confusion and concern as to what that could possibly mean. A blush creeped across my cheeks because, Jesus fucking Christ, it sounded insane to me, too. They didn’t know the Seeds like I did, though. They didn’t understand the fact that Joseph had _listened_ to me, taken what I’d said to heart, and that _meant_ something. 

“They think I’m valuable. Joseph saw in his stupid visions or whatever the hell they are that I was important, that they needed me to come of my own free will. So I said I’d stay if they just left you guys alone.”

“What do they want from you, Rook?” Pratt asked, eyeing me suspiciously. “You’re not telling us something.”

“Yeah what’s your divine purpose or whatever the hell they always go on about?” Hurk added.

He watched me with his arms crossed. I glanced around the room to see lots of angry confusion, but Sharky and Adelaide looked at me as if they already knew what was coming next. The same way Pratt was looking at me.

“They want me to marry Joseph.” 

“While that’s fucked up in and of itself, Pratt saw you pick him over us, Dep.” Hudson said, her eyebrows furrowed and her lips pursed.

“I didn’t know what to do,” I said.

“You chose your soon-to-be-husband, a psychopathic, demon of a cult leader, over us,” Pratt said, his fury evident in his voice, in the way he looked at me as if I was some disgusting whore that he didn’t want to even be around. “Everyone saw you do it. Everyone watched. You looked at me and then you turned back around and went on that fucking plane.”

“I was scared! I didn’t know what the fuck was going on.”

“Bullshit, Daisy. You knew. They’ve just gotten into your head,” he replied.

I felt tears well up in my eyes from how frustrated I was getting with the conversation, with how the whole day had gone. I had woken up in such a good mood. I got dolled up, I had fun with Faith while she did my makeup and hair. I felt a spark of happiness for the first time since my arrival in Hope County. But there I was, straddling the dividing line, and I just wanted people to shut the fuck up and listen to me, _goddamnit_. 

My emotions overpowered me, and for a moment I worried that I was going to break down in front of them. But I kept it together. I knew I _had_ to or they would use my weakness against me. Despite the fact that they were my friends, they were still people. And people, overall, can be cruel and manipulative.

“I’m trying to help you,” I said. “Now, _please_ , if you have Faith, just give her to me. Otherwise, that’ll get them fighting again. They’ll do anything before they let a member of their family die.”

“You’re brainwashed,” Dutch said. “Just like the rest of ‘em.”

“I’m not,” I shouted, louder and harsher than I intended, and I tried to reel in my frustration. “I’m just trying to end this goddamn war and make your town safe again. I’ve been trying to do that for all of you since I got here. Hell, before that fucking plane crash, I was up all hours, fighting your war because you all couldn’t fight it for yourselves. I hadn’t slept in days. I was killing random strangers at your request because for some reason you all couldn’t do it on your fucking own! And finally, _finally_ I succeeded.”

I glanced around at all of them and I could tell I was winning some of them over. Eli looked guilty, Dutch did as well considering he was the one to recruit me to start and lead the Resistance in the first place. Kim, Sharky, Adelaide, Hurk and Nick all looked as though they could see my point. I let out a breath of relief, but I knew I needed Faith. 

“If you’re holding Faith, the Father’s not gonna listen to me and it’ll be back to war again.”

“What’d you just call him?” Pratt asked. 

I looked at him for the first time, really _looked_ at him, and saw the anger that was in his eyes. Jacob sure had done a number on him. While he was always a bit of an asshole, all that was gone now. What was left was just pure rage. 

“What are you talking about?”

“You called Joseph Seed the fucking Father,” he said. 

“You’re one of ‘em, Rook,” Hudson muttered, arms crossed as she stared me down.

I wished I could smack myself across the damn face. I’d never called him that before, in my head or out loud. It just _had_ to slip from my lips right then, when I was trying my hardest to gain their trust back. I looked them over, their icy gazes, the distrust and growing hatred plain on all their faces. I let out a sigh, and shrugged.

“I tried to warn you. Don’t blame me if all hell breaks loose because you guys wouldn’t fucking listen to me.”

I moved to leave but Mary May was blocking the door, her gun at the ready. “Where you think you’re goin’?” she asked.

“Mary May, let her go-” 

“Shut up, Eli. We should keep her, too. Give Joseph a reason to come outta his little hole in the ground. If she’s so important, they’ll come for her.”

“Don’t do this,” I said, my voice cracking. “Seriously, you guys, don’t do it. _Please_.”

Hudson grabbed my arms and put them behind my back, cuffing them. I let out a cry as my arm throbbed in pain with the movement, but she didn’t seem to give a shit. I started screaming at them to let me go. I begged them, tried so hard to get them to understand just how bad of an idea it was to take me, too. My heart pounded in my chest as they dragged me into Nick’s pick up. Nick and Kim got into the front while Hudson and Pratt got in the back with me. 

“Where the hell are you taking me?” I asked after several minutes of silent driving. 

We weren’t going anywhere I was familiar with, that was for sure. I hoped they didn’t plan to execute me in the woods - all that fighting that I’d done would just go to waste and I’d die and the war would carry on. 

“To Faith,” Nick said, looking at me from the front seat with an uneasy glance. “Sorry about this, Rook,” 

“ _You’re_ sorry?” Kim asked. “Our friends are fuckin’ dead, she’s decided to join up with the cult and _you’re_ apologizing?” She laughed bitterly. 

“I think y’all are misunderstanding what she was tryin’ to say back there!” Nick said. 

“Bullshit,” Hudson replied. “She may not have those Bliss eyes but they’ve got to her. They’re gonna use her against us if we let them.”

“They don’t want to fight anymore,” I insisted, struggling against the cuffs. “This has been hard on them, too. They’ve lost people. They aren’t going to fight anymore, I swear. They’ve given me their word.”

“You really believe the Seeds to be people of their words, Rook?” Pratt asked me, his eyes on mine. It was like his eyes were the mirrors to the soul that Jacob ripped from his body. “I thought you were smarter than that.”

“So far, they’ve kept it. They could’ve killed me but they took me in and helped me heal!”

“The cult _has_ been mellow since they let everyone go,” Nick said. “Maybe she’s tellin’ the truth. Maybe she is the reason everything’s calmed down and now we’re kickin’ the hornet’s nest and they’re gonna destroy us.”

“Thank you, Nick,” I said, relieved that he was coming around. “That’s exactly what I’m trying to-”

I didn’t get to finish my sentence. A large boom veered the truck off the road. It flipped three times into a corn field before it stopped. I somehow managed to stay mostly conscious the whole time, and once it was over, I glanced around at the rest of the group, hoping to God that they were okay. Before I could really wrap my mind around what had happened, I felt hands pulling me out of the truck and then arms wrapping around me. My ears were fucked and I couldn’t hear what anyone was saying to me, just a buzzing noise, but I saw Jacob over near a group of his hunters. I glanced up at the arms I was wrapped in and see John’s face, which looked concerned. His lips were moving, he was trying to talk to me.

When my hearing returned moments later, I tried to smack his chest but remembered the handcuffs. My whole body throbbed with pain. “What the _fuck_ , John?” I demanded. “I was just getting through to them.”

“They had you handcuffed and were taking you God knows where, Daisy,” he shot back. “What was I supposed to think?”

“Nick was coming around. He could’ve convinced them!”

John’s men pulled Hudson, Kim, Nick and Pratt out of the flipped over truck. Nick was awake, kicking at the Peggies and shouting. Kim began to stir, as did Hudson. Pratt’s eyes were open but he was barely registering the people around him. His gaze was focused on Jacob and I could see the fear and anxiety in his eyes. I didn’t like the idea of them waking up to see all that, especially since I was wrapped up in John’s arms. 

“Let them go!” I demanded as the Peggies forced them to stand and pushed them against the car before they began to take their weapons. They stopped and looked at me for a moment before they let go of the four of them and dropped all their weapons on the ground. “Let them leave. Don’t go after them, don’t call back up. Let them fucking go!”

Hudson and Pratt stared at me as the Peggies backed up. It looked bad - me wrapped up in John’s protective embrace, shouting orders to Peggie soldiers who actually obeyed me. I could only imagine what went through their heads as they witnessed what was happening in front of them. 

John let go of me as he walked over to Hudson, who cowered away from him. Nick got in front of her, his stance defensive. I looked over to see Jacob smirking in Pratt’s direction and Pratt shaking with fear...I rolled my eyes and walked over to Jacob, blocking his line of vision to Pratt. 

“Don’t you dare,” I warned him. 

He looked at me and his hard eyes soften for a moment.

“Are you alright?” he asked as he touched my arm gently. I nodded and he pulled me close, his touch gentle in ways I didn’t think he was capable of as he kisses the top of my head. “We were worried.”

“I know,” I pulled away from him. “Don’t fuck with Pratt, alright?”

He rolled his eyes but turned his attention back to his men. I moved back to where I was standing before and Pratt shot me a disgusted look, which told me that he’d seen the whole interaction between Jacob and I. _Fuck._

“I need the key,” John said to Hudson. “For her cuffs.”

“Fuck you,” Hudson replied before she spat on his shoes.

John sighed and wiped the spit off onto the grass with a look of disgust before he turned back to her. “I’m sorry for what I did to you, Deputy Hudson.” Her eyebrows rose high on her forehead. “Please just give me the keys so I can get those cuffs off her. She’s hurt.” 

John’s eyes looked nearly desperate and for a moment my heart fluttered at the care he was showing me. I almost smiled but worked to keep my face stoic. Hudson and Nick looked at each other before Hudson gave him the key from her pocket, her hand shaking as she placed it in his open palm. 

“Thank you,” he said. He walked back and uncuffed me. I muttered a thank you and took the key and cuffs from him so I could give them back to Joey. 

“I’m really sorry. I didn’t know they were going to do this,” I insisted. “But you see what they did to get me? They’ll do ten times worse to get Faith.”

Hudson stared at me with wide eyes for a moment before she turned to Kim. “Give Faith to ‘em.”

“You fuckin’ serious?” Kim asked.

“Show ‘em where she is.”

Kim rolled her eyes and looked at Nick, who seemed to agree with the order Hudson had given, which caused her to give in. 

Me, John, Jacob and two Peggies followed the group as they led us to a prepper stash - the house abandoned and burned down. Pratt and Hudson opened the hatch and brought Faith back up the ladder after they untied her from the chair they had her in and ungagged her. 

Faith saw me first after she climbed up the ladder and ran to me, throwing her arms around me as she let out a sob. I patted her back awkwardly - I didn’t want to give my friends another reason to think I was a brainwashed Peggie. But after a moment, I decided to say ‘fuck it’ and fully embraced her. She muttered incoherent things into my shirt and I could see the shocked faces of my former allies as I held the adopted Seed sister close and whispered words of comfort to her.

After a moment, John came over, took Faith from my arms and led her back to the trucks. I walked over to the group, figuring that they hated me and didn’t want anything to do with me. I was probably a traitor in their eyes and I couldn’t blame them for their anger and resentment. I still felt something within me, something strong, telling me that peace was possible. Patience and peace went hand in hand after all, didn’t they? 

“I know you don’t believe me. I know you think I’m brainwashed, and I don’t blame you. I just wanted the war to end, the suffering to end. I wanted to help,” I said. “They want to live in harmony with everyone here. They won’t force anything. If they do, I’ll kill them myself. You have my word.”

“Why would we trust your word, Rook?” Hudson asked.

“Because if I hadn’t agreed to marry Joseph, you’d still be sitting in a cell in John’s bunker getting tortured.” My gaze was harsh. “They saved me, they helped me. I crashed my plane in the woods and everyone just assumed I was dead. I was there, wounded and starving and in pain for _two days_. It’s a miracle I survived.” They all looked down at that statement, Nick especially. “I’m not angry, I’m not upset. I know that it’s every man for himself in situations like this. It just sucked dick that after every single goddamn thing I did for all of you, no one even came to look for me. But I’m trying to make amends here and you guys are just...you attacked and killed people for no reason.”

“We wanted to get you back,” Pratt said. 

“You killed a lot of Peggies, most of whom weren’t armed.”

“They’ve done the same,” Kim said. “They’ve been doing the same since you got here, Dep.”

“Fine. Call it even, then,” I said.

I turned back to Jacob and John and Faith, who were waiting for me to head back to the trucks. But one more thing crossed my mind so I turned back to look at them.

“I’d suggest holding off on attacking anyone or anything unless they make the first move.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for reading thus far!! :D


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We've got some STEAM up ahead, folks, so brace yourselves! ;)

The car ride to Joseph’s compound was near silent as Faith rested against me, weeping. She had cuts that would need stitches, bruises on her face, her wrists and ankles were bloody from trying to get free from her restraints. 

When we arrived, Joseph was on his knees in front of the cross in the bedroom, his head buried in his arms on the floor as he kept crying out nonsense that I couldn’t understand if I tried. I stared at the scene for a moment before Jacob took my arm and led me to the kitchen, where he had Faith and I sit down at the table. He got the first aid kit and cleaned up me and then Faith. I could hear Joseph muttering words of prayer in the other room, and groans of pain escaped him.

“What’s going on in there?” I asked Faith. 

Jacob poured himself a whiskey and I eyed it with interest. He handed it to me with an eye roll and poured himself a fresh glass after I muttered a thank you.

“Sometimes the Voice is a lot for him,” Faith explained. “He’s said it’s like his head is getting split into two.”

“And sometimes he doesn’t want to do what the Voice is asking of him,” John added. “The visions can be particularly hard for him.”

“Does he know we’re home? That we’re safe?”

“He does,” Jacob said. “It’s gotta be something else.”

We waited for a while, talking amongst ourselves. Jacob sat down next to me and poured me another whiskey as Faith and John moved to the couch, talking quietly to each other as he asked her if she’s okay.

“You all right?” Jacob asked. 

“Not really,” I replied, my voice cracking as I felt tears blurring my vision. “I just...I want to fix this. I want to fix it so bad. There’s so much good on both sides that the other doesn’t see. You guys see them as sinners who are destroying everything you’ve built, they see you as fucking psychopaths who are kidnapping and torturing their friends and family.” 

The tears fell from my eyes and Jacob cupped my chin gently, bringing my gaze up to his bright blue eyes.

“None of this is your fault, Daisy.”

“If I never came here, none of this chaos would’ve happened.”

“You were meant to come here. Sometimes things are difficult but you’ve proven to be a wonderful peace keeper. You can get through to both sides. You’re the perfect mediator for this situation.”

“I’ve done a shit job at it,” I replied. 

Jacob filled up my whiskey again and I downed it in one gulp. He eyed at me with an impressed gaze before he spoke again. “You’re doing a great job, actually. Better than any of us could ever do.”

I smiled, then. Jacob wiped my tears with his thumb and pressed a kiss on the top of my head as he stood. I watched as he went over to the coffee machine and I glanced over at John and Faith, who quickly turned their heads the other way, obviously having eavesdropped. 

Ten minutes later, we heard movement within the bedroom. Joseph came out, glasses gone from his eyes which were puffy and red. He walked to Faith and embraced her tightly. He then came to me and pulled me close to him. He glanced down at my face, cradling my chin with his thumb and finger and suddenly his lips were on mine. 

I blinked, unsure what to do for a moment. It was gentle, almost as if he was asking for my permission. I always thought that the feeling of Joseph Seed’s mouth on mine would make me sick. However, I found that I didn’t mind it...in fact, I  _ liked  _ it. A lot. Butterflies fluttered against my belly and I let out a sigh as I closed my eyes and kissed him back. He smiled against my lips as his fingers entwined in my hair. 

After a moment, we both came up for air. My cheeks heated up as I glanced back over at John and Jacob, who were watching with raised eyebrows. John had a smirk on his face and Faith wore a smile on her lips with her hands clasped to her chest. 

“I was worried I’d lost you,” Joseph said, resting his forehead against mine. “I was worried I’d lost  _ everything _ .”

“Why?” 

“God showed me what they would’ve done to you, Daisy. He showed me their plans.”

I shuddered for a moment, wondered if that was what had him so tormented. Joseph pulled away and thanked John and Jacob for retrieving me safely before he insisted on making dinner for everyone. I sat and watched him cook, my eyes heavy. It was only 6:00pm and I was already exhausted.

We ate another delicious pasta dish and drank some wine together before John and Jacob left to take Faith back to John’s so they could all stay together and take care of her if she needed it. 

I was left alone with the Father for the first time since everything that had happened, for the first time since the kiss he gave me hours prior. 

“I’m sorry it did not go as you planned,” he said after a moment. 

“I don’t know why I expected it to,” I replied. 

“I’m just glad I saw the visions so I could send John and Jacob out after you.”

“What did you see?” I asked. “What could they have possibly done to me?”

“Do you really want to know?”

“Yes.”

Joseph sighed. “They would have tortured you for days, starved you and not given you any water. They would have tried to get every scrap of information you knew about the Project out of you. You do not know much after being cooped up in here for so long, but they would not have believed that. They would have hurt you in so many ways. And it would have ended with your death.”

I took a breath, wishing I hadn’t asked. “Really?”

“They were so angry, Daisy.” 

I thought for a moment, tried to imagine Nick or Jerome or Pratt torturing me. I couldn’t see it. But there were others who I could see doing that sort of thing. Hudson, maybe. Sharky, Adelaide, Mary May, Grace for sure. Jess and Eli likely wouldn’t have wanted to, but Tammy would’ve been all for it. 

I would never know, so it didn’t do good to dwell on it. My eyes were so heavy, my head was too. Joseph caught sight of my drooping eyes and took my hand. 

“Are you tired?” he asked.

“ _ Very _ ,” I replied.

“I’ll help you to bed.”

It was the same as every other night, but since my arm was out of the cast and I could bathe and dress myself, Joseph waited for me in his usual spot on the bed. I showered, cleaned the blood and whatever else off my body and watched the crumpled flowers that were still entangled in my hair as they gathered at my feet for a moment before they went down the drain. I changed into another nightgown, a light pink one that night. I didn’t bother with undergarments. 

When I came out, Joseph’s breath caught in his throat as he looked at me. “Daisy,” he muttered, looking away. “I can…” He cleared his throat. “It’s see-through.”

“Oh, sorry.” 

I rushed to the bed and got under the covers, hiding myself from him. For a moment, I appreciated that he even bothered to tell me. 

“I am sorry today went so...badly,” Joseph said after a moment, gently brushing some wet hair from my face. “I had hopes it would be a beautiful thing.”

“It was,” I admitted. “Minus the whole attack situation.”

He gave me a kiss again and I felt his tongue brush ever so slightly against my lips. I let out a sigh before I opened my mouth to him. I sat up in bed and pulled him closer to myself, suddenly desperate to be in his arms. 

He nibbled at my lower lip and I moaned as I moved my body onto his, straddling him. He pulled me closer as his hands found my ass while his lips continued their assault on my mouth. I hadn’t had human contact like that in my life, the pain from what had happened to me had always made it difficult for me to get close enough to people to trust them with my body, but for some reason, I trusted Joseph completely. Maybe it was because he took care of me, helped me get better. I wasn’t sure, but all I knew was that I wanted more.

“Daisy,” he moaned, his lips against my neck. “We should stop.”

I whined at the idea, my body was fire and each one of his touches felt _ so good _ . I rocked in his lap and felt the bulge in his pants against my already wet center. He moaned into my neck before he bit at the flesh there. I grabbed his hair and pulled the tie so it fell around his shoulders. I ground against his cock again and he tugged the nightgown over my head. 

He pulled back and took a moment to admire me, before he pressed me against him and captured my lips again. I moaned at the skin on skin contact as our chests smashed together. My nerves were on fire, I felt so wonderful that I wondered if I was on the Bliss. I moved my hands down his chest and my fingers traced the “L” in the “Lust” that was carved across his abdomen and he paused, pulling away suddenly. 

“We need to stop.”

“Why?” I nearly cringed at how fucking desperate my voice sounded. 

“I should not even have seen you like this.”

“You’re going to marry me, so what’s the problem?” I asked.

“The problem is we are not yet wed. I should not be doing any of this with you.” He gently helped me off his lap and picked up my discarded nightgown before he handed it to me and turned away. “Lust was clouding my judgement. I’ll have to atone for it in the morning.”

“Why? I’m your future wife. It’s not lust it’s…” I stopped myself. 

_ What is it? Don’t you dare say ‘love,’ you fucking idiot. _

It couldn’t be love, could it? I took a deep breath to calm my aroused mind. 

_ I can’t be in love with Joseph fucking Seed. No way. Absolutely no fucking way. _

“What?” he asked, prompting me to go on.

“Love...or something close to it?” 

_ IDIOT! You are an idiot! Why would you say that? _

He smiled and pulled me into a kiss, a chaste one. “I love you, too, Daisy.”

I held him close, a smile on my face. “Stay with me,” I said as we pulled apart and he stood to leave. 

“I can’t.”

“Just sleep,” I promised.

He sighed, glancing at the cross on the wall before looking back at me. “We should wait until our wedding night, love.”

My heart skipped a beat at the pet name. “When will that be?”

He sat back down, a little further away from me. I could still see his erection going strong in his pants and I resisted a smirk. “When do you want it to be?” he asked.

“Soon.”

“Is that your lust talking?”

“No,” I said. I knew he was teasing but it still worried me that if I said yes, I would have to atone for it later. “I was just thinking that maybe it could bring Hope County together. The leader of the Resistance marrying the leader of Eden’s Gate.”

Joseph looked nervous. “That’s not a good idea, Daisy.”

“It’s a great one, and you know it.”

“Tensions are too high right now.”

“Think about it.”

He agreed to do so and he left. I relaxed into the pillows, already missing his warm body against mine. I let out a growl of frustration, wishing he was still there and that things had gone further, but I closed my eyes and buried my face into the pillow as I tried not to think about it. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for sticking with me so far! Especially since there hasn't really been anything steamy until now. Ha! I promise A LOT is coming up soon!!


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A short chapter because of the awkward shortness of the scene and the awkward length of some of the other chapters. Oh well! I hope you enjoy!!

“No fucking way,” John said.

“Language,” I reminded him with a teasing smirk on my lips.

“Joseph, please tell me you didn’t agree to this.” 

Joseph glanced over at me and shrugged. “I saw that it’ll work.”

“They still think she’s brainwashed. I’ve been listening to their radio conversations. Most of them still want to attack us. The only reason they haven’t is because Hudson, Kim, Nick and Pratt are talking sense into them,” John said. He sat down at the table and glanced at me. “What if they try to kill her?”

“They won’t,” I insisted.

“You said you’d be fine last time, look what happened there.”

“We should do it in the bunker,” Jacob said for the tenth time since the whole conversation started. “It’s the safest place to do it. You can’t put yourself out in the open again, Joseph. Especially with Daisy.”

“It doesn’t necessarily need to be in a bunker,” John replied as he looked at Jacob like he was being absolutely ridiculous, which caused Jacob to glare back at him. “Near the river would be fine, as long as it’s just our flock and guards.”

It went on like that for an hour. I glanced over at Jacob who looked frustrated and kept fiddling with his knife. He caught my eye and smiled at me for a moment before Joseph dragged his attention away by asking his opinion about John’s ideas. I felt John’s eyes on me the entire time, too. 

Finally, I looked outside and saw Faith picking flowers. I glanced at the men arguing around me and decided that was the best place to go to clear my head. As I got up, Joseph’s arms found their way around my waist and I smiled. I leaned in for a kiss and told him I was going outside.

“Joseph, stop swooning over her and listen to me,” John said as I left. I smiled to myself before I found Faith, who was holding a bunny in her lap and petting it.

“God’s creatures are so beautiful,” she said with a smile. 

“Is that a wild rabbit?” I asked. She nodded with a smile on her lips. “How’d you catch it?”

“He came to me, silly,” she said. 

She placed him in my lap and he curled up into a little ball, content. I pet him and smiled. Faith went back to making flower crowns and she handed one to me. I set it on my head and smiled, feeling carefree for the first time in months. 

“Are they still fighting about the wedding?” she asked.

“John wants to do it near a river with only members of Eden’s Gate in attendance, with armed guards everywhere, Jacob says we should do it in the bunker...no one’s listening to me or Joseph about the out-in-the-open wedding.”

“What do you want?”

“Out in the open. I’m tired of all this shit.”

Faith giggled at my curse. “Does Joseph let you talk like that?”

“No,” I smirked. “But honestly, it’s not like we’d force people to attend. I just can’t stand the thought of getting married without a wedding. I’ve wanted one since I was little. I sure as hell didn’t picture it like  _ this _ , so I’d like to at least have some sort of celebration, especially considering the war is at a standstill right now.”

“Is that the only reason you’re marrying him?” Faith asked. She had a knowing smile on her face.

“ _ Yes _ ,” I replied.

“Tell me the truth,” she said. “Please.”

“I don’t know. I...I know that I should hate you all but...I love him. I  _ think  _ I do, anyway.”

Faith squealed in excitement and hugged me. The bunny moved a little in my lap at the intrusion but when he saw it was just Faith, he curled back up. 

“I knew it,” she said.

“Can I ask you something?” 

“Anything, future sister.”

“Why in God’s name does that man refuse to wear a shirt?” 

Faith laughed and wiggled her eyebrows at me. “Distracting for you, Daisy?”

“Oh, shut up.”

Faith descended into a fit of giggles and I laid down on the grass, laughing as well. The bunny curled himself back up on my chest, his little head facing me as I continued pet him. I wondered for a moment if I was on the Bliss without knowing it. Everything felt so good.

“Thank you for saving me,” she said after a moment. 

“Of course.”

“They threatened me with a lot of things, Daisy. I was  _ so  _ scared.”

“You’re safe now.”

She smiled and another bunny rabbit jumped into her lap. She pet it and we just sat out there for a moment, enjoying the calm breeze. 

After ten more minutes, the door opened and I heard the brothers still talking. John sounded upset, so I knew he didn’t get his way. Jacob wasn’t saying much. They all stopped talking when they found the two of us. Jacob even cracked a smile. 

“I made her a flower crown,” Faith told Joseph with a smile. “She looks so pretty with flowers in her hair. We should do that for the wedding.”

Joseph looked down at me, smiling. “A wonderful idea, Faith.”

Faith squealed with joy and stood up, still holding the bunny. 

“Another pet?” John asked her. 

“Of course,” she replied back. “I love all God’s creatures.”

“We’ll invite the county to the wedding,” Joseph said. “Send out invitations tomorrow, John.”

“Why the hell am  _ I  _ the one in charge of wedding invitations?”

“Language,” Joseph scolded. “Just make a flyer, it’s easier that way.”

“You’re acting like none of us know about your calligraphy skills,” Jacob said. 

John’s face turned bright red and he stammered to shoot a comeback at his oldest brother, but failed and stomped away, defeated. I burst out laughing at the image of John fucking Seed doing calligraphy, and Jacob caught my eye and winked before he followed John to his own truck.

Once they all left, Joseph joined me on the ground. The bunny eyed him with suspicion but once he gave him a little pet behind the ears, he curled back up on my belly. 

“Do you want to keep him?”

“Please,” I said with a smile. 

I named him Mr. Bun Bun. Joseph laughed at the name but I think he secretly found it utterly adorable. 


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What's that I hear in the distance? Could it be...WEDDING BELLS. That was fucking cheesy but anyway, there's some real SMUT in this chapter, plus a wedding! Woot woot!! Thank you to all who have read thus far!

Two weeks later, it was time for the wedding. The week leading up to it was almost a blur. Faith and I picked out a dress from a store a two and a half hour’s drive from Hope County, at Joseph’s suggestion, so we could avoid any potential hostility within the area.

The folks in Hope County grumbled about the wedding over the radio, as John and Jacob told me. But the leaders of the Resistance had made it known that they were planning on going. Weapons were not allowed, and I hoped that they would play by the rules considering Eden’s Gate would be. 

The day of the wedding, I sat in a chair as Faith fussed over my makeup and hair. She curled it and made small little braids with baby’s breath woven through them. Then she added other flowers - blue, pink, white. My makeup looked radiant, not too much but just enough for me to gasp when I saw my reflection in the mirror. It had been a long time since I’d seen myself made up, but I felt like a princess with what Faith had done. I smiled and hugged her tightly. 

I slipped on the dress with Faith’s assistance, and when I looked at my reflection, I gasped again. The dress was long with a modest train. It was lace, and off the shoulder, and the sleeves draped over my arms like sashes. I looked...beautiful, and that was not a word I typically used to describe myself. I nearly felt tears well up in my eyes but I pushed them back, not wanting to ruin my makeup.

When I was all ready, we left the room and find Jacob waiting for us. For a moment, I wondered if he was going to give me away. I’d always known my wedding was never going to be perfect solely because of the fact that my shitty mother was gone and I didn’t even talk to my siblings. As I thought about it, there was no one else I’d rather give me away. 

He looked at me like the breath was knocked out of him and I smiled. He cleared his throat as Faith handed me off to him. 

“You ready?” he asked.

“As I’ll ever be.”

I tried not to think about the giddiness inside of me - tried not to think about the fact that I was the one who volunteered to do this to save my friends, but I didn’t  _ really  _ love Joseph. Right?  _ You can’t. He’s a lunatic. _ But the more I’d gotten to know him over the last several weeks, the more I’d realized he was a smart, well-read, thoughtful man. 

Jacob walked me outside, and I saw a beautiful altar set up with white and light pink sashes draped over the trees, looking over the river.

My eyes widened when I saw that almost all of Hope County was in attendance. It made my stomach nervous. There were nowhere near enough seats for everyone, so people were crowding both sides. Peggies all surrounded Joseph’s side and the whole county was seated or standing on mine. The music played and me and Jacob began the walk down the aisle.

“Did we expect this big of a turn out?” I whispered to Jacob.

“No,” he replied. “Don’t worry. It’ll be okay.”

I glanced to my left and saw a stoic Nick, an angry Kim and some really pissed off Resistance members. Hudson looked sad, as if she was begging me to run away and get out of the mess I was in. Pratt’s eyes were on his hands, like he couldn’t even look at me. Dutch shook his head when I passed him and I turned my attention back to Jacob. Then I looked forward.

Joseph was there in a new, tailored suit. His sunglasses were off, something I’d insisted on because they would’ve looked fucking ridiculous. He had a small smile on his lips as he looked at me and I felt myself blush under his adoring gaze. John stood next to him, but there was room for Jacob to slip in behind Joseph - he was the best man after all. Faith stood on my side, a large smile on her face. My stomach twisted with nerves again as I looked at the crowd that had gathered. 

Joseph took my hand when we made it to him, and I turned to see Jerome up near us. I frowned, wondering what the hell was going on, and I glanced at Joseph who leaned in to whisper something in my ear.

“I asked, he agreed.”

Jerome gave me a tight smile before he began the ceremony. All went smoothly. I didn’t pay much attention to anything, honestly - I was just focused on Joseph. I heard murmurs from my side, the people of Hope County probably annoyed and upset about everything, but I paid no mind to it. Jerome gave a bit of a sermon about coming together in a time of great divide, about how love is the greatest force of them all. Pratt let out a laugh when Jerome said “love” and I noticed Jacob move a bit from his place to shoot Pratt a glare, which shut him up. 

“If there is anyone who believes these two people should not join in marriage, speak now or forever hold your peace.”

To my shock, Hudson stood. Nick followed, along with Dutch, Mary May, Kim, Pratt, Eli, Wheaty, Grace, Jess, Sharky, Hurk & Hurk Jr. I shook my head at them, trying to tell them to stop before they did something stupid. But they didn’t listen. Deputy Hudson looked right at Joseph with harsh eyes.

“I object because it’s very clear that she’s being forced into this,” she said. “She’s their enemy, the real light of the Resistance and she scares them. She scares them so much that they had to capture and brainwash her so she wouldn’t turn against them. She doesn’t love Joseph, who could? He’s a psychopath who has killed so many goddamn people because he heard some silly voices in his head!”

John’s fist clenched at his side, and Jacob looked like he was reaching for something in his jacket and I wondered for a moment if he brought his knife. Joseph even seemed tense. I grasped his hand, tried to redirect his gaze to me. John made a move but I shook my head at him again, telling him to stay put. 

“Let them have their say,” I muttered to him.

“She’s not in her rational mind. If she were, this would disgust her. They’ve used the Bliss to make people do their will before, who’s to say this is any different?”

“I’m not on the Bliss, Joey,” I said as I turned to look at her. “Look at my eyes. I’m not Blissed out. Do you really want the war to start back up again?”

“This is fucking bullshit,” she yelled. “I mean, the man who walked her down the fucking aisle tortured Pratt for weeks. He manipulates people’s minds to get them to do whatever he wants, including killing people. How the fuck isn’t he in jail!?”

The Peggies on the other side of the aisle started to grow restless. Some shouted back at her for mocking their religion, their Father, shouted that they weren’t welcome there. Others yelled pure threats. I glanced at Joseph and he closed his eyes for a moment before he took my hands, kissed them, and turned to address the crowd.

“I understand the animosity between our two groups, Deputy Hudson. Of course I do. You see us as a violent threat, but this is our peace treaty today. I love Daisy, I love her beyond what words can even begin to describe. And I’ll have you know - when we rescued her, we required that she stay with us for the time it would take her to recover. Then she was given a choice.”

My heart pounded in my chest. I really did not want them to know that I chose the cult over them, even if it meant peace for everyone. They wouldn’t like that I was given a choice and that I stayed with Joseph. I reached to touch his back but he ignored me, and I bit my lip hard enough to draw blood, which caused Faith to look at me with question in her eyes. I tried to touch Joseph’s back again, I muttered for him to stop talking, but he didn’t listen to me.

“We gave her a choice to leave us and go back to the Resistance, to continue the horrific and bloody war going on between us. And she chose peace. She chose to end the bitter conflict. To live out the rest of our days before the Collapse as husband and wife.”

“You’re a liar!” Hudson yelled. “No one could  _ ever  _ love you!”

“Joey, stop!” I shouted, desperate for it to end.

“She’s brainwashed, you dumb fuck. She doesn’t love you! She just wants to make sure her friends are saved from your violence!” 

I flinched at that. I glanced up as Joseph turned to look at me. I shook my head, tears in my eyes. Hudson kept going, insisting that was the only reason I was with him. I didn’t know what to think anymore. It had started off as that, sure. But it had grown into something else. And I’d be  _ damned  _ if I had to go back to fight that stupid fucking war.

“Enough,” I demanded. Silence followed. “It’s a wedding, not a debate. So for fuck’s sake can we please move along?”

Joseph stared at me for a moment before he looked at Hudson, who shook her head. 

“You told us that night, Deputy. You told us when you came looking for Faith that you gave yourself to them so you could save us. There wasn’t love, there wasn’t anything like that. You even called Joseph’s visions stupid!”

“Stop,” I said, my voice harsh. 

“It’s true! You don’t have to do this!”

“Maybe I want to, did you ever think of that?” Silence followed, all of them stared at me in shock. “Maybe that’s what it started off as but for fuck’s sake I’m not a person to do something I don’t want.”

“You love him?” she asked.

“Maybe I do, Hudson. So can we please more on?”

The rest of the wedding went as planned. But I could tell Joseph was upset. Of course he was. I couldn’t blame him for that. The reception was mostly Peggies, no one from the Resistance or the county stayed after snagging their free drinks. 

“John,” I said when I found him at the bar. “Where’s Joseph?”

“By the river,” he said, his tone icy. “Probably wondering why the hell he married you.”

“I said those things to gain their trust.”

“Maybe you should go tell  _ him  _ that.”

I turned from him and walked through the forest, vaguely having a sense of where the river was. I found him in the river, his suit shirt and jacket resting on a rock on the shore. 

“Joseph,” I called. He ignored me and I rolled my eyes. “Joseph, I’m sorry. Please!” He still ignored me. “Don’t make me come in there.”

When he didn’t respond yet again, I unzipped my wedding dress and carefully set it on the same rock next to his suit jacket and shirt. I left my slip on as I waded into the water and started to swim underwater when I got deep enough, totally ruining my makeup and hair. I didn’t care. I just needed to talk to him. I grabbed an ankle and he jumped, spinning around. I pulled myself to the surface, practically already in his arms. He looked me over and frowned.

“What are you doing?” he asked.

“Getting you to listen to me,” I replied with a smile. “It may have started as a way to set them free, Joseph. But, as much as I  _ really  _ hate to admit it, it’s grown into something much more.” When he didn’t respond, I took his face in my hands and made him look at me. “I wouldn’t marry someone I didn’t care about, I wouldn’t allow myself to be trapped in a bunker for seven years with people I didn’t trust.” 

He rested his head on my shoulder as he pulled me close to his body. I smiled and wrapped my arms around him. When we pulled apart, he kissed me deeply. My hands wandered down his chest, traced the word “lust” carved in his abdomen. He groaned at the feeling. 

“It’s no longer lust, is it?” I asked. 

“It should be special, Daisy,” he protested as I began to kiss and bite his neck. 

“I want you inside me,” I whispered in his ear, making him shiver visibly. I bit his earlobe and he let out a shaky breath. “Please, Joseph. Please... _ Father _ .”

He crushed his lips to mine with force and I wrapped my legs around his waist. I could feel his erection against me and I let out a moan. He pulled at the slip but got frustrated when the straps didn’t fall down my arms, and let out a growl. I moved to stand, to try and help him pull it off me, but I slipped and nearly fell back into the water completely. He caught me, laughing. 

“We should wait until we have a bed,” he said as he pulled me to him and kissed me deeply.

“Whatever you say,” I teased. 

He picked me up and walked out of the river with me in his arms. The sun was still high in the sky so we waited for a moment to dry off a bit before we put our clothes back on. His pants were soaked but that was usual for him if baptisms were happening so not many Peggies even take a second look.

“Feel better?” John asked me, coming up behind me as I stood watching the dancing.

“I care about him, John,” I said. “I know you probably don’t believe me anymore and that’s fine. But I care about him.”

I walked away and his eyes followed me. I danced with all the Seed brothers that night. John was excellent at it, Jacob was a little clunky and awkward. Joseph glided me across the dance floor effortlessly. The festivities lasted until midnight, at which point Joseph drove me back to his compound. I was a little dizzy with the amount of champagne I consumed, but not enough to dull my senses. As he opened the door from behind me, the moment it closed I pushed him against it and kissed him deeply. His hands found my hair as he kissed me back, our tongues stroking over each other. 

“Joseph,” I muttered. 

“Hmm?” he asked against my lips.

“Make me your wife,” I panted, and his hands moved to the back of my dress and unzipped it. When it pooled at my feet, he lifted the slip off over my head.

I blushed as he looked me over, his eyes wide with arousal. He turned me so he could unhook my bra, and my blush deepened when I felt him chuckle against my neck as he traced the letters on the underwear Faith  _ insisted  _ that I purchase, which had been customized to say “Mrs. Seed” on the butt. 

He made quick work of my bra, and then he led me to the bedroom as he showered my body with kisses and little bites. He laid down on the bed and pulled me on top of him. I straddled his waist and could feel his erection as I rocked against him. A moan escaped me as he sat up and took one of my nipples in his mouth. He was gentle until he nibbled on the rosy bud and I whimpered. He glanced up at my face to make sure it was out of pleasure, not pain.

“Are you okay, Daisy?” he asked.

I nodded, not trusting my mouth to form fully functional words at the moment. He brought his mouth to my other nipple and I moved my fingers through his hair as I released it from the bun. It fell around his shoulders and face and I entwined my fingers in it. He moved our bodies so I was lying down before he settles between my thighs.

“You’re so beautiful,” he murmured against my tummy. 

He pressed kisses to the skin as he muttered more compliments. When his mouth got to the top of my panties, I felt myself starting to tremble with anticipation. I weaved my fingers through his hair and leaned back against the pillows, looking down at him between my legs.

He glanced up for my consent and waited for me to nod before he pulled the panties from my waist. I mewled as his fingers teased my inner thighs, coming close but not close enough to my wet center. He kissed and nibbled my thighs, my abdomen. 

“ _ Please _ , Joseph,” I begged. 

He moaned against my skin at the beg and I filed that knowledge away for later. He kissed his way up my thigh until he was hovering right above my center. I could feel his hot breath on my pussy and I whined at how it makes me drip. 

“Daisy,” he said, his voice deep and full of arousal. I met his piercing blue eyes. “Have you ever done this before?”

“No,” I choked out. 

“Welcome to the bliss,” he muttered with a smile before he placed his mouth over my clit. A choked moan pulled itself from my throat at the sensation of his tongue gently stroking my clit. He took it slow, testing the waters. But before I knew it, I was thrusting against his face and his tongue movements became quicker and harder. 

He looked up at me, a hand moving to massage my breast, and I was undone. Before I even realized what was happening, I came against his mouth. He moaned against me as he licked up my juices and I shuddered in his arms. 

As I came down from my orgasm, Joseph crawled up my body and kissed me again. The taste of myself on his tongue caused me to whimper as he continued to lightly massage my clit with his finger. I wanted to do what he just did for him...I grasped his arms and urged him to lie on his back. 

He watched me with hooded eyes as I kissed over his chest. I lovingly placed my lips on every letter of every single one of his sins that are carved into his skin. When I got to the “L” in “Lust,” his breath hitched. 

“Daisy,” he breathed, looking down at me with a hooded gaze, pupils blown wide with desire. 

I smiled up at him as I unbuckled his pants. With his help, I tugged them off and discovered he wasn’t wearing any underwear. Easier for me. As I looked at him, completely naked in front of me, I took in his size. For a moment, I wasn’t sure what to do. I’d never done anything like this. I felt my chest pang at the thought and Joseph reached down for me.

“You don’t have to do that tonight, Daisy,” he whispered, pulling me back to him. “Are you okay?” 

“Sorry,” I muttered, blinking back tears. 

He laid me on my back and kissed me tenderly. “We can stop if you want, love.”

“ _ No _ ,” I assured him. “I feel so good.”

He kissed me again as his fingers drifted to my center, gently pressing in. My breath hitched as he slipped a single finger into my heat and he let out a groan at how tight I was around the digit. He worked a second finger in after a moment, and I whined at the feeling. I couldn’t wait to feel his cock press into me. 

He continued to prepare me and I was dripping by the time he was done, babbling his name over and over and begging to feel him inside me. He kissed my neck as he lined himself up with my entrance, brushing the head of his cock over my clit. I lurched at the feeling, desperate and aching for him. 

“Joseph,” I whined. “ _ Please _ .”

He kissed me before nudging inside me. He did it gently, knowing it had been a very long time for me. I winced as he filled and stretched me. He kissed my neck, told me that if I needed to stop, it was okay. I felt my heart swell with love and I wrapped my arms around him. 

Finally, he started to move. After a few gentle thrusts, I was moaning at the feeling of his cock hitting that perfect place inside me. He began to pick up the pace and I begged him for more, harder,  _ please _ . He obliged, thrusting and moaning my name. 

“You take me so well,” he growled, as he bit at my neck. 

I answered with a moan of my own, unable to even form a sentence. Everything felt so good.

“Daisy,” he groaned as he thrust harder into me. “Daisy...I’m…”

“Come inside me. Make me yours,” I nearly growled. 

He moaned loudly against me and I felt streams of his seed shoot up inside me. I let out a moan at the feeling. He continued to come for a couple more minutes, until he finally slacked and rolled off me. He pulled me to him immediately and I let out a moan at the feeling of his spend dripping out of me.

“I love you so much, Daisy.” He pressed kisses to my hair and I smiled. 

~

I traced lazy circles on Joseph’s chest. It was nearing dawn, and we hadn’t slept yet. We had, however, made love two more times. He left Eden’s Gate in John and Jacob’s hands for the next few days to serve as our “honeymoon”, so I was pretty sure he didn’t mind the lack of sleep either. 

“Tell me about your family,” Joseph said after a while. “I just realized we didn’t even think to invite them.”

“My mother’s dead. My father...abandoned us about a year after I was born. So he’s dead in a sense.” I avoided Joseph’s eyes as he sat himself up against some pillows and moved me to keep my place on his chest. “My family wasn’t the greatest. So I didn’t need them there.”

“Did you have siblings?” 

“Three. All half siblings. All from different fathers.”

“So not a lot of good men in your life, then?”

“Nope. My mom had a type and that type was controlling douchebags with beer guts.”

Joseph planted a kiss to my hair as he inhaled my scent. I looked up at him and wondered what his family had been like. I knew he didn’t have a good childhood, that there was abuse, separation from his brothers, pain...I saw it in the way the brothers interacted with each other, I saw it behind Joseph’s eyes. John’s eyes, too - I saw it that day that he tattooed the word ‘wrath’ onto my chest. 

“I’m sorry,” he said after a moment. 

“I was supposed to get adopted. But then my dad insisted that my mom kept me instead. Only to abandon me, and her, a year later. She was fifteen. She didn’t know what the fuck she was doing. He was 30.”

“The world is full of many men and women who do not want to take on the responsibility of their actions,” Joseph said with a sigh, rubbing my back. I almost purred at how good his fingers felt on my skin and I nuzzled closer to him. 

“You’re telling me.” I sat for a moment longer before I looked up at him. “What about you?”

“My childhood is of a similar essence.”

He didn’t offer up any other information than that, and I didn’t mind. I knew he would open up to me in time. “I’m sorry that life was hard for you, too.”

He smiled down at me and pulled my lips to his. “You have nothing to apologize for, love. Nothing at all.” He breathed the words against my mouth and I let out a shaky breath. 

After a while, we grew silent. I could tell by the steady rise and fall of his chest that he was asleep. I lifted my head and looked at him, running my fingers gently through his facial hair. I wondered how the hell I got there. If someone had told me a couple months ago that I would soon find myself fighting a cult, nearly dying, getting rescued by said cult, and marrying its leader, I would’ve laughed my ass off. The mere fact that I was married at all is a miracle, at least in my mind. Every man I’d ever dated had disliked that I could shoot better than him, that I could survive in a brutal world better than him, so it never got very far.

Joseph snored lightly and I smiled to myself. What a different place I was in since I first got to Hope County. I was falling in love with the man I was meant to arrest. I felt it in my heart, in my mind too. Hell, the first time I’d seen him, the night I attempted to arrest him, I could barely handle touching his hands to put those handcuffs on. I couldn’t even look at his vibrant blue eyes behind those stupid motherfucking glasses. 

_ I told you God wouldn’t let you take me _ ...I remembered him saying as he left the crashed helicopter. For a moment, I wondered if he was right. What if the world was coming to an end, and no one wanted to believe it? Humans had come so far as to think they were indestructible. But that couldn’t be the case. Everything that had its glory has its fall. What if the world was going to end in fire and blood and I ended up stuck down in the bunker with John, Jacob, Joseph and Faith? And whatever Peggies stayed alive that long? 

The thought pushed a shudder through my body and Joseph stirred immediately. “Are you alright?” he asked, his voice slurred with sleep.

“Sorry,” I muttered. “I was just thinking…”

Joseph took my chin in his hand and lifted my face so our gazes could meet before he kissed my mouth. “No need to apologize.”

I smiled and he pulled me closer. “You’re a light sleeper,” I observed.

“I had to be with everything that was going on.” 

I glanced up at him again, eyes searching his. “The world’s really going to end?”

“Of course it is, love. Can’t you feel it?”

“Feel what?”

“We’re on the brink,” he said as his eyes turned serious. “Addicted to our technology, addicted to our vices. Living in a world without God has turned us into mindless drones. The government is leading us into the fires of hell. They won’t save the planet, they won’t stop all the destruction of God’s creations because they are greedy, filled with sin and corruption. Look at our leader, love. Look at the hatred he spews. The world is at it’s very end and I can feel it in my bones. I’ve seen it.”

“When?”

“Soon. Sooner than anyone can imagine.”

“Tomorrow?” I teased, trying to lighten the mood. 

“I don’t know. The Voice never gave me a date or a time. We just need to prepare.”

I asked him for a story and he told one from the Bible. I fell asleep on his chest, into a deep, dreamless sleep. I felt so lightweight it was like I was flying. 


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, this chapter is absolutely ridiculous, followed by lots of smut. Enjoy!! :)

John was currently with me at the Spread Eagle. A sentence I never thought I’d hear or see or think about. But when my friends, who wanted to offer up their peace, called me and invited me, Joseph insisted John go with. 

I wasn’t sure why - I asked if Joseph could come but he said he had things to do in Faith’s region of the county. John hadn’t looked too pleased with his “mission” but he hadn’t complained either as he drove me, got out of the car and entered the bar behind me. The stage had a screen set up in front of it for what looked like karaoke and I resisted a groan of anxiety at the mere thought of my friends forcing me to get up and perform a song. 

“What the fuck is he doing here?” Hudson asked, pointing her beer in John’s direction. John took a seat at another table, content to just watch over me and not interact with a group of people who absolutely hated him.

“Joseph made him come with. Just in case you guys decide to handcuff me and drive me into the middle of the woods again.”

Nick chuckled at that, despite everyone else looking guilty. I ordered a beer from Mary May and came back to the group, feeling John’s eyes on me the entire time. 

“So he’s just gonna sit there like a fuckin’ weirdo?” Hurk Jr. asked. 

“Probably,” I replied.

“How’s the whole being married to a cult leader thing treatin’ you?” Nick asked, ignoring the nudge in the ribs Kim gave him. 

“Fine.”

“Rook, you do know you got a hickey on your neck, right?” Adalaide said. 

My eyes went wide as I grabbed the compact mirror in my purse and saw the blue and purple bruise on the side of my neck. 

“Fuck!” I cursed under my breath. “I thought I put makeup on it.”

The group descended into laughter and I felt the heat rise up in my cheeks. 

“I gotta ask, Dep,” she said after a moment. “And don’t take this the wrong way. But what in the name of fuck is it like having sex with Joseph motherfucking Seed?”

I nearly spit the beer out of my mouth and ended up inhaling it and almost spraying it out through my nose. I covered my mouth and started coughing and the rest of the group chuckled with raised eyebrows. Clearly, most of them were curious. I wondered for a moment if that was the only reason they invited me there at all.

“Embarrassed there, Dep?” Sharky teased. 

“What the hell kinda question is that?” I asked.

“I mean, come on. We gotta know. Is he like crazy in bed or is he super conserved?” Hudson replied.

I felt a blush rise up bright on my cheeks. I glanced over to the table where John was sitting and saw his scowl. Clearly, despite the music, there wasn’t enough people in the bar for him to not hear the conversation, and it looked like he did not like what he was hearing.

“None of your goddamn business,” I replied with a smirk on my lips. 

“It really isn’t!” Jerome said, looking scandalized. “What’s gotten into all of you?”

“Yeah, it’s pretty gross,” Pratt said as he looked up at me quickly before he looked away again. “Let’s move on.”

“I’m just curious, is all!” Hudson insisted. “I mean, I can imagine Johnny boy over there being absolutely fucking nuts. Same goes for Jacob, I’m sure. But what about Joseph himself?”

“Does he make you call him Father during it?” Hurk Jr. asked, barely containing his laughter.

“Will you guys  _ stop _ ?” I groaned, laughing but blushing. “You’re embarrassing me.”

“C’mon, Dep. Now that the war’s all done, we’ve got nothin’ to do!” Kim was in on it then, a smirk on her face. “Do you have to pray after?”

“No, you fucking pervs. I don’t know what you want me to say!” I was laughing hard. “It’s just sex.”

“The way you’re reactin’, it’s kinky sex,” Adelaide replied. 

“Jesus, Addie!” I laughed, choking on my beer again. 

“You’re not denyin’ it!” 

“I’m sure as hell not confirming it, either!”

“Wouldn’t you get in trouble for the foul language comin’ outta your mouth right now if he were here?” Sharky teased. 

“I don’t...I’d probably just get scolded - I don’t ‘get in trouble’.”

“Scolded?” Adelaide asked. “Like a spanking?”

Laughter erupted again and I rested my head in my hands, cheeks bright red as I thought about the night before and the fact that yes, I had indeed gotten spanked multiple times since the wedding. And it didn’t feel much like a scolding. 

“C’mon you gotta give us something!” Sharky said as he nudged me. 

Jerome got up to go get more drinks and stay away from the table for the rest of the conversation. Pratt quickly followed.

“Okay, okay.” I sighed, leaning in so I could mutter it without John hearing anything. At least, I hoped. “He’s fucking crazy in bed.”

“I KNEW IT!” Adalaide cheered, slamming her drink on the table. “I knew it! Sharky, you owe me $50!”

“You guys bet on it?!” I was scandalized. But not shocked.

“Hell yeah!” Adelaide said as Sharky handed her the money. “He insisted it was all sorts of vanilla and I said I bet the good ole’ Father could put it down like a pro.”

I rested my head in my hands again and didn’t dare glance in John’s direction. I could practically feel the glare that he was likely boring into my back. I risked a glance and saw him muttering into his radio. I wondered if he was calling Joseph to tell him to get his ass down there so they stop asking so many ‘sinful’ questions.

“Did you guys fuck before the wedding?” Sharky asked.

“No!” I didn’t know why I sounded so scandalized at that.

“Really? Damn. That’s some rigid religious rules right there.”

The group moved on, thank God. But they kept slipping in comments every now and then to embarrass me. It wasn’t anything I couldn’t handle. It was almost fun, reminding me of conversations at lunch in school - hushed voices so the teachers wouldn’t hear. I was never able to contribute anything. But now, I felt as though I was a part of the group and it was nice, albeit horrifically embarrassing. 

After another hour, Mary May announced that karaoke would start in a couple minutes. Of course, they all insisted that I sing something. I let out a deep breath and agreed, to which they all cheered and Sharky owed Hudson $50. I wondered how many bets they’d made that pertain to me, but decided not to go there. 

I heard the door chime as someone else came in and I nearly fell off my chair as I saw the yellow tinted glasses with smiling eyes looking at me. I got up and Joseph wrapped me in a tight hug and gave me a kiss. I ignored the sniggering and whispers behind me, my friends unable to keep from laughing after our earlier conversation. 

“What’re you doing here?” I asked.

“I finished up near the Henbane early and figured John could use some company. Plus I wanted to see you,” he said with a smile. “I heard you’re going to sing.” I knew he was there because John called him, but I didn’t care. I was happy to see him - another thing I never thought I’d say or feel.

My face flushed and my friends were openly laughing. I shot them a look but Joseph sent them a pleasant smile over my shoulder, but they still didn’t stop. He probably knew what the topic of conversation was before he arrived and I felt my blush deepen.

Hudson chose the song (because of course she did) but wouldn’t tell me what she chose. Luckily, two other people went before me. Sharky got up and sang “Disco Inferno” (because of course he did). I was happy that that time it wasn’t followed by shooting down Angels that start flocking his trailer park. Hudson and Kim sang “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun” after that.

I fidgeted with my white lace sundress as I watched, knowing I was up next. When Mary May called me to the stage, I heard John cheer absurdly loudly and rolled my eyes. I removed my blue jean jacket, knowing it would just get even warmer up there with my embarrassment. As I got up, I shot him a glare and stuck my tongue out at him (could I possibly be more juvenile?) as I made my way up and took the microphone.

Singing wasn’t a new thing for me - I was in theater and choir in grade school and high school so I knew I had a good voice. It was the mystery song choice that made me extremely nervous. I wondered whether it was gonna be “Like a Virgin”, which wouldn’t be  _ too  _ horrible...or if it was going to be something along the lines of Britney Spears.

“Take Me to Church” by Hozier flashed up on the screen and I looked at Hudson with an eye roll as she sat laughing in her seat.

“ _ Really _ , Hudson?” I asked into the mic as the intro music started up. 

I rolled my eyes again but went along with it. I already knew I was going to change the gender of the person Hozier sang about in the song to a man, because that was clearly what Hudson wanted me to do. I wondered for a moment how Joseph and John were going to react to it before I started singing.

“My lover’s got humor,

He’s the giggle at a funeral, 

Knows everybody’s disapproval,

I should’ve worshipped him sooner.

If the Heavens ever did speak,

He’s the last true mouthpiece.

Every Sunday’s getting more bleak,

Fresh poison each week.

We were born sick,

You heard them say it.”

I glanced up at Joseph and John. Joseph seemed enraptured by me which caused me to blush, and John wore a raised eyebrow and a smirk on his face, but also seemed like he was a little bit enticed. Hudson, Sharky, Nick, Kim and even Jerome were shouting out cheers and whistling. Pratt had a visible scowl on his face and he rolled his eyes as he glanced between me and the Seed brothers. I felt less nervous and started to really sing the song.

“My church offers no absolutes,

He tells me worship in the bedroom.

The only heaven I’ll be sent to,

Is when I’m alone with you.

I was born sick,

But I love it.

Command me to be well.

Amen, amen, amen.”

John was fully laughing at that point and I wished that I could throw the microphone at him. Joseph was still enraptured with me and I found that tuning everyone else out except him was making my voice sound better. More confident. I gave him a smile as I started to sing the chorus.

“Take me to church,

I’ll worship like a dog

At the shrine of your lies,

I’ll tell you my sins 

And you can sharpen your knife.

Offer me that deathless death,

Good God, let me give you my life.”

I sang the chorus again and the rest of the room had faded away aside from my new husband, who I could tell was becoming more uncomfortable with each lyric. He crossed his legs under the table and I resisted a laugh. 

“If I’m a pagan of the good times,

My lover’s the sunlight.

Keep the God on my side,

He demands a sacrifice

To drain the whole sea,

Get something shiny.

Something meaty for the main course,

That’s a fine looking high horse,

What you got in the stable?

We’re a lotta starving faithful.

That looks tasty,

That looks plenty, 

This is hungry work.”

The rest of the room slowly melted back as my friends started making cat calls and lewd remarks. John looked ready to beat the shit out of them but Joseph had a hand on his arm, muttering something to him. Hudson was cheering and laughing.

“Take me to Church,

I’ll worship like a dog 

At the shrine of your lies.

I’ll tell you my sins 

So you can sharpen your knife.

Offer me that deathless death,

Good God let me give you my life.”

As I sang the chorus again, John settled down and his face started matching Joseph’s. I blushed and felt heat pooling somewhere else, but I decided to ignore it. 

“No masters or kings

When the ritual begins.

There is no sweeter innocence 

Than our gentle sin.

In the madness and soil of that 

Sad earthly scene.

Only then I am human.

Only then I am clean.

Amen, amen, amen.

Take me to to church.

I’ll worship like a dog 

At the shrine of your lies.

I’ll tell you my sins

And you can sharpen your knife. 

Offer me that deathless death,

Good God,

Let me give you my life.”

The music faded and my friends started cheering and chanting for an encore. I rolled my eyes and put the mic back on the stand, my cheeks bright red. I walked back over to my friends and smacked Hudson on the arm.

“What a fucking song choice, there, Hudson!”

She couldn’t even respond, she was laughing so hard. I laughed with them as they patted me on the back and told me that I did an awesome job. Sharky shouted out to Mary May that karaoke night should be a weekly deal and she agreed with him.

While they were busy pouring more beers from the $5 pitcher, I snuck a glance back at Joseph and John. John had moved on, his eyes focused on the townsperson who was singing “Stayin’ Alive”. Joseph’s eyes were on me, and they were hooded. I let out a breath and wet my lips, my throat suddenly dry. I told the group I’d be right back and walked over to their table in the back, unsure if he was incredibly turned on or if he was angry with me. 

“Nice job up there, Rook,” John teased. 

“Better than you can do,” I teased back.

“I’ve  _ written  _ music, Deputy. I think I could handle some silly karaoke.”

“Stayin’ Alive” finished and Mary May asked if anyone else wants to sign up. I smirked at John and turned, hearing his protests behind my back as I shot up my hand.

“John wants to go!”

The whole room fell silent aside from mine and Joseph’s chuckles, and my friends stared at the three of us in near shock. John scowled as he got up and walked over to the stage. I took his seat, and signaled to my friends I’d be back there soon. As John picked out a song to sing, Joseph put his hand on my leg.

“You’ve got a lovely voice,” he nearly growled in my ear. “But I think it brought out the sinner in me.” He took my hand and placed it on his crotch, where I found his hard erection pressing against his pants. My breath hitched and I bit my lip. “Can I get a private concert later?” He pressed a kiss to my neck as he whispered the words against my skin. 

“Of course,  _ Father _ ,” I replied. I turned to face him and saw the smirk on his face. I gave his erection a rub as he let out a gasp. “Anything for you.”

With that, I got up and rejoined my friends. I snuck a glance back to him to see that smirk was still there. John took to the stage and cleared his throat awkwardly as he looked around at the small group of people in the bar. Most of them were scowling at him, Hudson and my other friends were watching with their eyes wide and mouths open. 

“GO JOHN! WOO!” I cheered, which caused him to shoot a glare at me. 

“I’d like you all to know that this is not my decision and my ridiculous new sister-in-law decided this would be hilarious. So...if I’m terrible, I apologize in advance, but you should blame her.”

“Are you gonna sing ‘Oh John’ for us!?” I shouted. “Oh John! Bold and Brave!” I sang, loving the embarrassed look he had on his face. He just rolled his eyes and let out a huff at me. I laughed, hard, as I tried to swallow the beer I just drank and not spray it through my nose.

He turned to Mary May who still looked shocked that it was happening at all as she turned on the music.

He sang “God’s Gonna Cut You Down” by Johnny Cash and for some reason, the entire table did not seem to find it as fucking hilarious as I did. I was pretty tipsy by the end of it, on my sixth drink, and to me it was the funniest thing in the world to hear him sing those lyrics with such an awkward, serious look on his face. He sounded pretty good, though - his voice was decent. It was just the extremely serious expression on his face that got me. At one point, he threw the middle finger at me when I assumed Joseph wasn’t looking and I threw it back at him with a laugh.

When he finished, everyone clapped but it was hesitant compared to my cheering. Eventually, after everyone else who had liquid courage went up and did their singing, Mary May put on music and a couple people started dancing. I was on my eighth drink when Joseph took the empty seat next to me while everyone aside from Hudson, Pratt and Jerome danced to the music near the stage.

“Are you having fun, love?” Joseph asked. 

I saw Pratt shake his head and scoff under his breath from the corner of my eye before he joined in the conversation with Hudson and Jerome, which made me sigh in annoyance.

“Yeah,” I replied. “Lots of fun. You?”

“Haven’t been to a bar in a while,” he said. “It’s nice seeing you have such a big smile on your face.” He kissed my cheek and I blushed instantly. 

I could feel Hudson, Jerome and Pratt’s eyes on us, even if they were still having their own conversation. I suddenly felt awkward and just wanted to get away from them.

“You wanna dance?” I asked Joseph. 

“Of course,” he said with a smile. 

He stood and took my hand. We got looks as we moved onto the dance floor, and almost immediately the song switched to a slow dance. He wrapped his arms around my waist, and I wrapped mine around his broad shoulders, locking my hands behind his head. I stroked the hair at the base of his neck and he smiled down at me. I was thankful he wore a shirt to the bar, otherwise I was pretty sure I wouldn’t be able to control myself; not after the way he looked at me after I sang.

“What really made you show up?” I asked.

“John called me. Said he didn’t like the way your friends were talking to you. But he does not seem to have a sense of humor.”

I chuckled. “I didn’t think you did until you started taking care of me.”

“I suppose during my sermons I can be a bit…” he trailed off.

“Intense?” I finished.

“I was going to say passionate,” he replied. 

I smiled and pressed myself closer to his body so I could rest my head on his chest. I shot a glance over to the table to see John eyeing the two of us with an expression I couldn’t really read _.  _ He met my eyes and immediately looked away, so I moved my gaze to my friends to see that Hudson and Jerome were watching us, too as they muttered to each other under their breath. They didn’t look upset or angry, but I got the sense that everyone was curious about my relationship with Joseph, so I didn’t mind if they watched. Same with the couples on the dance floor whose eyes I felt sliding over to us every now and again.

“Are you alright, Daisy?” Joseph asked after a moment.

“A little tipsy,” I replied with a smile on my face. 

He chuckled. “I hope you didn’t over indulge. You know that’s a sin, don’t you, Rookie?”

“You gonna carve it into my skin and make me atone,  _ Father _ ?” I asked, my tone teasing. His smile dropped and for a moment, I worried that I’d said too much until I felt his grip get tighter on my waist as he pulled me closer to his body. 

“Of course, my lamb. You must confess and atone for your sins. Privately. With me,” he whispered into my ear.

I nearly let out a moan as heat coursed through me. “Can we go home?” I asked.

“Of course,” he said, that smirk back on his lips at the effect he had on me, the way I jumped when his hand came up to touch my bare back. 

I led him off the dance floor, his hand in mine, and he went to the back table to tell John of our departure. John got up and shook his hand before he came over to me to say goodbye and my cheeks heated as he pulled me into a hug and planted a kiss on my forehead. After he left, I said goodbye to my friends, who all came back to the table as the music ended. When I got to Hudson, she hugged me tight.

“If you need to get outta there, Rook, just say the word,” she said into my ear. I resisted an eye roll and thanked her instead of saying something snarky in response, because I appreciated that she was looking out for me, even if I didn’t need her to.

John was already gone by the time we got outside. The drive was about 45 minutes back to the compound. I wasn’t sure I could wait that long as I looked at my new husband and saw his erection had already returned. I smirked as I pulled my skirt up and spread my legs a bit, biting my lip as I looked up at him with as innocent of eyes as I could manage. His tongue darted out to wet his lips as he looked me over. I moved a little bit in the seat and felt the strap of my dress fall down my shoulder. 

“Have I been sinful, Father?” I asked. 

He groaned and reached his hand to touch my bare thigh as he looked down at me. His hand drifted slowly higher and higher, towards where the material just barely covered my panties.

“Very sinful, indeed, my child,” he growled. “I’m not sure such sin can go unatoned for much longer.”

He brushed his fingers over the elastic of my panties, which caused me to whine. He continued to tease me, tracing the fabric and not putting his hand to my dripping center, which was already throbbing and begging for his attention. 

“I’m ready to atone, Father,” I moaned softly. “ _ Please _ .”

The car swerved to the side of the road and I let out a yelp at the sudden movement. He continued to drive the car just a little bit into the woods, snapping some branches and small bushes out of the way of the vehicle so that we were completely covered. He turned the car off before he reached over and slid my panties down my ankles with my assistance. He moved his hand to unbuckle my seatbelt and lifted me into his lap as if I was a rag doll. My pussy rubbed against his hard cock straining in his jeans and I let out a whimper as I rubbed myself against it. 

“You’re a temptress, you know that?” He growled against my neck. I moaned as he bit the skin there. “Such a little temptress.” His hands kneaded my ass and I rocked my hips against him. “What is it you want, my child?” he asked. 

“You.” The moan was loud and I was thankful that we were in a car so no one could hear how desperate I sounded. 

“You have to be more specific than that, I’m afraid,” he teased as he pulled my straps down and then my dress. He unhooked my bra next and took it off before he tossed it into my unoccupied seat. 

“I want your cock, Joseph, please,” I mewled as he took a nipple in his mouth and sucked on it just right. My hands found his hair and I pulled as I rocked my pussy into his covered erection. 

“Such a dirty mouth on you,” he muttered against my breast before he bit at my nipple. A needy cry escaped my lips as I rutted against him, desperate for some sort of friction against my aching center. 

“ _ Please _ , Joseph.”

“You have hands, don’t you?” he replied. “If you want it, take it.” 

I moved my hands down to his absurdly large belt buckle. My fingers shook as I worked to undo it and he chuckled against my skin at my clumsiness. Eventually, though, I got it and I popped open the button on his pants and pulled the zipper down. His cock sprang free from its confines and I found my mouth watering as I looked at it.

He let out a moan against my skin as I took him in my hand and worked him. He pulled my face to his and kissed me deeply as my fingers and hand continued to stroke him. I wanted him inside me so badly that I couldn’t stop the needy motions of my hips, or the whines that came out of my throat. When he pulled away from the kiss, an embarrassing noise escaped me and he chuckled while he stroked my nipples with his fingers so lightly I thought I would die if he didn’t do something soon. 

“Use your words and tell me what you want,” he said. 

“I want you inside me Father,” I replied, and I watched in delight as he shuddered at the title. He pulled me closer and nodded once to indicate I could take what I wanted. I took his cock in my hand and aligned it with my entrance before I sank down onto it. I moved slowly at first to let my body adjust to his size, but it wasn’t long before I started to move my hips and moan his name over and over as I fucked myself on his hard cock.

“You’re a sinful girl, you know that?” he growled, his eyes fixated on my bouncing breasts.

“Mmm, very fucking sinful,” I replied, knowing the curse would get a rise out of him.

He did not disappoint. He put his hand to my throat and squeezed, which caused my pussy to throb around him. 

“Watch your filthy mouth,” he hissed at me. 

“I’m sorry, Father,” I replied, giving him an innocent look as I moved harder and faster on his cock. 

He smirked before he pulled me off him, and I let out a frustrated huff as my cunt felt empty and still so desperate. He motioned for me to move back to my seat and I did, and then he maneuvered himself to the backseat and beckoned me to follow him with his finger. 

I was much less graceful, and managed to hit my head on the top of the car before I made it back to him. The second I was in his arms, he kissed me roughly.

“On your hands and knees, facing the window,” he ordered.

I complied. Somehow he found a way to slip inside me and fuck me despite the confined space. It required me to be pressed up against the glass of the window but I didn’t even mind, I just wanted to keep him inside me, thrusting hard. 

He smacked my ass and I moaned. “Father, I’ve been  _ so  _ sinful. I think I need more punishment.”

He smacked me again, and again, and again until I could tell that my asscheeks were going to be bruised in the morning and I was teetering on the edge. He seemed to sense how close I was as he moved his hand from my waist and began to rub my clit frantically in tight little circles. I moaned loudly as I felt myself speeding towards my climax.

“Come with me,” he hissed in my ear before he bit down on my earlobe. 

I allowed the coil spring loose inside me as I pulsated against his throbbing cock, feeling his come as it shot into me. His hand remained at my clit, rubbing hard as if he wanted me to come again and I let out a deep moan as I pressed my face into my arm as a way to ground myself.

Before I knew it, I came harder than before, around his softening cock and he let out a growl into my back as he nipped at the skin of my shoulders. I screamed his name as the orgasm tore through me. When the moans turned into whimpers and the whimpers turn into deep breathing, he pulled himself out of me and paused to look at the view in front of him, his hand on my red ass.

“ _ Fuck _ , Daisy,” he growled. 

I glanced back over my shoulder at him to see his gaze fixated between my legs. I blushed as I felt his seed dripping down my thigh. I’d never heard him curse before and it caused a tremble to course through my entire body.

After I came down from my post-orgasm high, we moved back to the front seat to drive home. I didn’t bother putting my panties or bra back on, instead I placed them in my purse in case any of his men were there when we returned. 

When we got back to the compound, as I got out of the car, I was still trembling. Joseph wrapped his arm around my waist as he walked me from the car to the front door. Once the door was closed, he pushed me up against it and kissed me deeply, eliciting a moan from my mouth as he rocked his body up into mine. I could feel his hard cock through his pants and in that moment, the only thing I wanted in the whole world was for him to fuck me right there against the door. He moved his mouth to my neck and I whined as his hands found their way up my skirt and rubbed at my cunt, still wet and dripping with his spend. The whimper that his fingers pulled from my throat was nothing short of absolutely embarrassing. 

“You take my cock so well, Daisy,” he growled into my ear. “Such a good little sinner for me, aren’t you?”

“ _ Please _ , Joseph,” I begged, my voice painfully needy to my own ears. 

A clearing of a throat stopped us both and I glanced over Joseph’s shoulder to see John sitting on the couch, watching with a smirk. “Didn’t see me, huh?” 

A blush erupted over my cheeks as I moved away from Joseph with my head down. I could feel his eyes burning into me as I stared at the wood floor like it was the most interesting thing in the whole wide world.

“You are supposed to be back at your ranch,” Joseph hissed through his teeth, his tone dripping with frustration with a hint of embarrassment. 

“I had some stuff to talk to you about, figured I’d wait for you here. Didn’t think the two of you would be so quick to get at each other.”

His eyes roamed over my body and I realized, with horror, that I had no panties or bra on and the strap of my dress was down from my shoulder, likely revealing more than John’s eyes should see. I froze, unable to move to fix my disheveled appearance and the blush grew hotter and deeper on my cheeks.

“Do you need a new sin carved into your flesh, John?” Joseph asked with a jealous edge to his voice.

“She’s going to belong to all of us, soon,” John replied as he moved closer to me. I didn’t look up as I felt a finger slip under the strap of my dress and pull it back to its rightful spot on my shoulder. “Why can’t I appreciate her?”

“Because soon isn’t right now. She’s  _ my  _ wife. And I’m not going to force her to do anything she doesn’t want to do.”

I could see the bulge in John’s pants as I continued to stare downwards, avoiding his gaze, and I gulped loudly as I stared at it. Curiosity filled me as I resisted the urge to reach forward and feel it. I looked up at him finally and saw the smirk on his lips as he took in my expression. 

“Seems like she wants to,” John said. I shot a glare at him but it just made his confident smirk grow bigger on his face.

“Get out, John,” Joseph ordered. “We’ll talk about this another time.”

John left, but not before undressing me with his eyes one more time before he walked out the door. I felt heat wash over me as he looked me over and I tried to hide it - I didn’t want Joseph to think I was lusting after his brother a mere half hour after he’d taken me in the back of his car. When the door closed, I glanced back to Joseph to find his eyes fixated on me with a deep, analytical expression. I swallowed thickly as he continued to watch me for a moment or two before he spoke.

“Do you want him, Daisy?” he asked.

The question startled me and I wasn’t sure what the fuck I was supposed to say to that. I stumbled over my words as I tried to answer him. “I...I don’t…”

“It’s alright if you do. It’s good, probably, for when the Collapse happens we will need to bring life back to the Earth.”

I nodded. I could barely register his words through my embarrassment, and it didn’t help that I was still dripping and desperate to have him inside of me again. 

“Can we go to bed now?” I asked. 

He smiled at me and scooped me up into his arms before he led me to the bedroom. He pressed me against the mattress of the bed and I moaned at the feeling. My dress was off almost right away and he stared down at me with wide, happy eyes.

“You’re so beautiful,” he murmured. 

I tugged off his shirt and soon he was inside me again. I moaned against his neck as he fucked me and muttered dirty things into my skin. He finished quickly and I groaned at the feeling of his seed shooting up inside of me again, as I wonder whether it would take and I would get pregnant. The mere thought sent a thrill down my spine and he smiled at me as if he could read my mind and knew exactly what I was thinking.

I slept easy that night.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We've got some smut ahead, as well as some mentions of trauma responses and flashbacks. Enjoy! :)

The next day, Joseph left relatively early to take care of some business in Faith’s region. He spent some time in bed with me, kissing and touching gently, but left before we finish anything. I decided to shower to distract myself from my throbbing cunt that he had teased and teased until I was desperate. I hummed to myself as I turned on the water and stepped under the scalding hot spray. 

“There’s the Deputy,” a voice said from the doorway as I was washing my body with the body wash Joseph had gotten from town for me. I turned around in fright, heart pounding, and saw John staring at me through the glass windows of the shower. 

“John, what the actual  _ fuck _ ?” 

“Sorry, just wanted to make sure you were safe.” 

His eyes raked up and down my wet, naked, soapy body. I felt my center pulsate under the gaze and I wanted to pull him in with me and feel every muscle that I knew was there under his clothes. We stared at each other for a long moment before I shook my head and came back to myself.

“Get out!” 

“In a minute,” he said. “I gotta appreciate you first.”

I tried not to picture him fucking me under the hot spray, tried not to think about how it would feel if he pressed me up against the wall and pounded into me, claiming me as his and spending himself inside me. 

“Fuck off, John.”

“For a girl married to my brother, you sure have a foul mouth on you,” he said as he came closer to the glass. “If my brother wouldn’t get so furious, I’d fuck you right now.”

“Leave!”

“You think he’s good? Sweetheart, I’ll make you come so many times you forget your fucking name.”

“John!” Jacob called from the other room. “Enough! Leave her alone!”

He smirked that annoying fucking smirk at me before he took one last look and sauntered out. I muttered ‘fuck’ under my breath as I rested a hand against the cool tile wall and tried hard to ignore the throb between my legs. If Joseph hadn’t gotten me so worked up, I wouldn’t have felt so desperate. I took a breath and focused on not putting my hand between my legs. If I masturbated after that encounter, I knew John or Jacob would hear me, and then John would have a feeling of satisfaction that I most certainly did not want to give him. 

I finished my shower and changed into a pink summer dress with blue flowers that Joseph had picked out for me before he left. As soon as I was about to leave, I could hear John and Jacob talking loudly in the kitchen and paused at the door.

“You can’t tell me you haven’t thought about it, too,” John said.

“It’s not the right time, John, you have to remember that.”

“I know it’s not. But you didn’t see her last night.”

Jacob laughed. “Good. I’m glad.”

“If you had, you wouldn’t be able to look at her the same way ever again after hearing the way she fucking  _ whines _ , Jacob. She makes these...fucking desperate noises and it’s...” John’s voice had a tinge of desperation in it and I felt proud that I could make him sound so...needy.

“Stop, John. She’s Joseph’s wife.”

“She’ll be ours soon, too, though, Jacob,” John said. “You’re really going to sit there and pretend that you haven’t thought about it.”

“We’re  _ not  _ having this conversation,” Jacob said, his voice firm but there was a hint of embarrassment there that I could sense. 

“I fucked my goddamn fist four times last night and it wasn’t enough.”

Jacob let out a grossed out sound and I heard footsteps as he likely moved to the other side of the room. “That’s too much fucking information, John.”

“As if you’re one to judge. Last I heard from one of my Chosen, the other night they kept hearing you moaning her name-”

“That’s  _ enough _ ,” Jacob growled. “Until it’s time for Joseph to open their marriage to us, we don’t fucking talk about this.” There was a pause in the conversation and I held my breath, wondering if it was safe for me to leave yet. “In fact, even when we are part of all this, do not fucking talk to me about what the hell the two of you do together.”

“Suddenly a prude, huh?” John teased. 

“I don’t want to hear about your little sex adventures, alright. And I doubt you’d want to hear about ours.”

“I wouldn’t mind it,” John said with a laugh. “I might even enjoy it.”

“That’s...ugh, that’s disgusting.”

After another few minutes, they dropped the topic entirely and I took a breath before I came out of the bathroom. I wondered for a moment if Joseph picked my dress solely to punish John, because the way the youngest Seed brother looked over me as I walked into the living room could only be described as a starving man looking at a feast that he wasn’t allowed to even touch. 

I greeted them both and Jacob poured me a cup of coffee, which I took with a smile and a brush of my hand on his arm before I sat down on the couch and crossed my legs and took a sip. John grumbled for a moment before he grabbed his coat and shouted something about having to work on his plane before he left and slammed the door behind him. 

“Sorry about him,” Jacob said once his little brother was gone. “He shouldn’t have walked in on you like that.”

“It’s fine,” I replied. 

Before either of us could talk further, we heard commotion outside. Jacob immediately stood with his gun at the ready and told me to get behind him. I rolled my eyes and grabbed the nearest gun I could find and instead move to stand next to him. He raised an eyebrow at me and gritted his jaw as he stared down at me, and I found myself wondering if he was into the whole obedience/punishment thing and the mere thought made my pussy throb. I cursed Joseph in my head for making me so horny and leaving me wanting before I filed that knowledge away for later as Jacob opened the door. 

We looked outside to see a couple of his men fighting with one of the Judges that appeared to have gone a little wild. One of the men was off to the side with blood dripping down his arm, and as soon as Jacob’s eyes landed on that sight, he rushed out and smacked the wolf on the head with the butt of his gun, which caused it to whimper in pain.

“Jacob, stop!” I called.

I ran out and put myself between Jacob and the animal. Jacob stared at me with wide eyes before he shouted for me to get out of its way. But he stopped mid-sentence as he watched me kneel down to the Judge’s level and pet it gently. It calmed down a bit and whined as I scratched behind its ears. There was some blood from where Jacob hit him and I was careful not to touch it, but glanced back at the red headed man with a glare. 

“Make sure he gets bandaged up when he gets back to the Center,” I said. 

Jacob stared at me blankly, as if he couldn’t even process what I’d just said to him. “Did you just give me an order?” 

“Yeah,” I replied with a smirk on my face. “You got a treat or something?”

“A  _ treat _ ?” Jacob asked. “No I don’t have a treat. Judges don’t get treats. Besides, he just bit Arnold’s hand off.”

“He bit his arm and it’s fine. Go into the house and get some meat.”

Jacob stared at me with confusion for a moment before he shook his head at me. “That’ll spoil him.”

“Good, ‘cause you treat him like garbage.”

Jacob sighed before he ordered one of his men to get the meat. I rolled my eyes at the fact that he couldn’t do it himself but I didn’t say anything, I just continued to pet the wolf and let him lick my face and hands. When the guard returned with the meat, I took it from him and stood to look down at the Judge.

“Sit,” I ordered. He listened and sat. “Good boy!” I smiled and gave him the meat in my hand, which he took with glee before he sprinted off to the other side of the yard to devour it in peace. 

Jacob’s eyes were still on me when I turned to him. “What...the hell?”

“What?” I asked.

“I’ve never seen a Judge respond to anyone like that. Not even Faith,” Jacob observed. “You must have some powerful gifts or somethin’.” 

He scratched his head as he went back into the house. I went around to find the Judge had devoured his meat. He was sniffing around the garden and I whistled to him, which caused him to perk up and sprint over to me before he followed me into the house. As soon as Jacob saw him, he jumped to his feet and shook his head at me.

“Absolutely fucking not,” he said. “That thing is a wild animal. He doesn’t belong inside.”

“He seems fine to me,” I replied. 

The Judge found Mr. Bun Bun in his cage and started sniffing at him, and the poor bunny looked absolutely terrified of the much larger, sharper-toothed animal, so I went over and soothed the wolf and told him ‘no.’ After a minute, the Judge backed off and curled up in front of the small fireplace, but kept his eyes on the bunny.

Jacob stared at the Judge with a nervous expression and I smirked. “You aren’t afraid of ‘em, are you?” I asked.

“‘Course I’m afraid of ‘em. They’re brainwashed wolves for fuck’s sake. You should take him back outside.”

“Nope.”

Joseph came home later in the evening. He had Jacob stay for dinner and the three of us made light conversation until they got into a discussion about something specific to do with the bunkers.

Out of nowhere, Joseph let out a cry of pain, and I jumped to my feet and ran to him, my hand on his bare shoulder. The only time I’d seen him like that was when I came home that night after the Resistance took me and found him praying in the bedroom. I rubbed at his back for a moment before Jacob put his hands on my arms and moved me away from him. 

“Daisy, I’ll need the room,” Joseph groaned as he clutched his head. 

He stood shakily before he bolted to our bedroom and slammed the door shut. I stared after him, bewildered, but relaxed under Jacob’s soft touch on my arms. I glanced back at him and he didn’t even seem phased as he moved away from me and sat back down to suck the rest of the meat off a rib from dinner. He met my gaze and raised an eyebrow at me.

“What?”

“That didn’t scare you?”

“Honey, that’s been goin’ on since before you got here so no, it didn’t scare me.”

The pet name made my stomach flip, but I didn’t say anything further as I started to clear the table, taking mine and Joseph’s dishes to the sink. Jacob joined me after a few minutes of finishing off his food and we rinsed the dishes together. I didn’t have it in me to make much conversation, but he didn’t seem to mind. 

We heard another shout come from the bedroom as we were finishing up and I bit my lip nervously. Jacob came over to me and put his hand on the back of my neck, rubbing circles against my skin. 

“He’s fine,” he said. 

“I know, it’s just...”

“This is just what happens when the Voice talks to him.”

My body was starting to tremble as my nerves took over. Jacob seemed to sense it and asked me if I wanted him to take me anywhere. I sighed and nodded and asked if he could drive me to Falls End until Joseph calmed down. He agreed and I went into the bedroom quickly to tell Joseph I was leaving. He waved a hand at me to indicate he heard, and I tried not to get nervous seeing him crumpled up in a ball on the ground with his head between his arms. 

Jacob waited for me as I grabbed my purse and he told the guards that he would wait for me and take me home. They left with the Judge and we got into Jacob’s pick up truck and drove in silence for a bit.

“You don’t like being around men who are shouting, do you?” 

I didn’t expect him to notice something like that, and his question startled me for a second. “What? I…”

“I didn’t either for a while. Had to get used to it in the military, though. Didn’t you?” 

“Oh,” I said. “It was different during JROTC and even when I was in the Army. That’s...I don’t know, that’s controlled, right? It’s in the right setting. It’s not volatile unless you do something wrong, but even then, it’s still controlled,” I explained. “It was fine for me but outside of that..I just...it freaks me out.”

“I know the feeling, and I’m real sorry for whatever happened that made you feel that way.” 

I frowned, not expecting so much sympathy from the hardened veteran. I glanced over at him and he looked at me with a small smile on his lips before he reached forward and squeezed my knee in a reassuring manner. I felt pleasure shoot through my body at the touch and when he was about to draw his hand away I grabbed it and kept it there, which made his smile even bigger.

“I’ll wait in the car,” Jacob said. “Take your time. If I need to leave, I’ll let you know. You think if that happens, you’ll be able to find another ride?”

“Probably. Thanks, Jacob.”

When I walked into the bar, I saw it was pretty busy. There were a lot of people whose names I didn’t know, and they eyed me warily as if they still didn’t trust me. I didn’t let it bother me as I said hello to Mary May and glanced around to find someone I knew that I could sit with. 

My eyes landed on Sharky and Hudson towards the back and I joined them. I ordered a vodka soda with cranberry and Sharky gave me some shit but moved on relatively quickly. Hudson glanced around the bar before she turned to me.

“No bodyguard this time?” she asked.

I didn’t want to tell them about what had happened during dinner, or about the fact that the eldest Seed brother was currently sitting in his car waiting for me, so I decided to say that based on how well it went last time, Joseph had allowed me to come without one of his brothers to watch me.

The three of us drank for about an hour and a half before I started feeling tipsy. And, as if on cue, Hudson rolled her eyes as the bell dinged to signal another person entering the bar. I glanced back and saw John, who didn’t see me amongst the crowd of people. I tried to keep it that way as he headed to the bar and ordered a whiskey, neat. He told Mary May to leave the bottle. 

“What’s he moping about?” Hudson asked me.

“Not sure,” I said. “But moping is putting it lightly.”

“He’s such a baby,” Sharky said. “Maybe he’s salty his brother got to you first.”

“Shut up,” I said as I rolled my eyes. 

“I always said he had a hard on for ya,” Sharky continued, causing a blush to rise in my cheeks at the thought of how he looked at me earlier that day when he walked into the bathroom while I was in the shower. 

I watched him closely as he downed his drink quickly and then filled the glass almost all the way to the brim before I wondered if he saw Jacob in front of the bar or if Jacob saw him. Surely if Jacob had seen his baby brother about to go into a bar, he would’ve stopped him. But I glanced back at John and saw how off he looked, how sad. His blue eyes were focused on the drink in front of him. 

“I gotta check on him,” I said.

“You serious, Rook?” Hudson asked. “He’s a violent, murderous psychopath. I’m pretty sure he’s fine.”

I sighed and shook my head as I stood up. I walked over carefully, praying that the interaction would be a good one.

“John?” 

He seemed surprised to see me. “Deputy,” he greeted. “Jacob said you were here with friends. I didn’t think you were the type to talk to me when you were with them.”

“And I didn’t think you were the type to fill the glass of whiskey almost to the top and pretend its normal,” I said. 

He chuckled almost bitterly and took a giant gulp of it before he winced a bit as it burned down his throat. “Don’t tell Jacob about this. Or Joseph.”

“Why would I-”

“Because you’re Joseph’s wife. You’re...in love or whatever. You tell each other everything.” John rolled his eyes and waved a hand at the mere mention of love. 

“I don’t tell him  _ everything _ ,” I said as I took a seat next to him. “Love isn’t a thing for you, huh?” 

John scoffed and took another large gulp. “Nope.”

“C’mon. You’ve never been in love? Ever?” 

His bright blue eyes met mine and I was startled at how sad they looked. He paused for a moment, as if he was debating whether or not he wanted to say something to me. He looked me over, shook his head and sighed.

“This isn’t a very fun topic of conversation,  _ Deputy _ .” He spat the title out of his mouth like it was laced with poison. 

I ordered another cocktail from Mary May. If John was going to sit there and feel bad for himself, I was going to join him. I downed the cocktail pretty quickly before I asked for another glass to drink some of the whiskey. I couldn’t let John sit there and drink a whole bottle by himself. John watched with an impressed expression as I tossed the whiskey back with ease.

“Didn’t peg you for a whiskey drinker. I know you drank it the other night but didn’t think you actually liked it.”

“I grew up in a trailer park, John. Whiskey’s a luxury.”

“What’d you used to drink?”

“Moonshine.”

He let out a disgusted noise and I laughed. “What was  _ that  _ like?”

“Awful. You were fucked up by the first shot. And we typically drank six or seven. I was putting away eight or nine by the time I was sixteen, around the time my mother took out her frustrations with her boyfriend out on me and my siblings.”

His smile faltered. “I’m sorry,” he said, a knowing tone in his voice.

“Don’t worry about it.”

Hudson came up to order another drink and glanced at the two of us. 

“I’m sorry for earlier,” he said. 

“It’s...fine,” I replied as I tried to ignore Hudson. I didn’t want her to know what had happened between the two of us. “I mean, don’t do it again and it’s fine.”

John chuckled before he took another shot. “I’ll try to stop myself.” 

I watched his gaze look over me and for a moment I regretted wearing the short sundress. But his eyes returned to mine and were full of guilt for a brief second before his cool facade came back. 

After we made a large dent in the once full bottle, I realized just how drunk we both were. John tried to get up and said he would walk back to his ranch in a very slurred voice before I told him to let Jacob drive him home. After a few minutes of arguing, he finally agreed and I walked over to say goodbye to Hudson and Sharky. 

“We barely even gotta talk to you,” Hudson said. “You can’t really care about him, can you?” 

I shrugged. “He’s my brother now.”

“You okay, Po-po?” Sharky asked. “You’re swayin’ pretty bad there.”

“I’m fine,” I replied with a laugh.

With that, I left. I helped John to the car, his arm around my shoulders as his feet faltered and tripped over one another. He was much drunker than I was, but I was still dizzy and not able to walk straight. Jacob got out of the car to help me as John’s body weight became too much and I stumbled a bit. 

“How the fuck did he get this messed up?” Jacob asked. “You know he’s not supposed to drink, right?” 

“Sorry,” I muttered. “I should’ve grabbed you.”

“Don’t be sorry,” Jacob said. “I just…I figured since he came with you the other night that he wouldn’t drink himself. Guess I was wrong.”

We put John in the backseat of the truck and I moved to get in the front seat of the car but he grabbed my arm with a desperate look on his face.

“Sit back here with me,” he said. “I might pass out and hit my head.”

I rolled my eyes at how dramatic he was but obliged. The ride to his ranch was pretty quiet, save for some scolding from Jacob that led to John yelling about how he can do whatever the fuck he wanted to do. When we got to his ranch, Jacob helped me get him out of the car but I told the older man I could take it from there. He sighed and went back into the car to wait for me as I led John to the door. He was a little better, able to stand (for the most part) on his own as he led me upstairs to his room.

I was always blown away by how big his ranch was, and it was crazy that I could just walk inside of it without the fear of getting killed. As we walked up the stairs, John stumbled a bit. Several times. And he even made a couple flirty remarks about pinning me to the wall, which I just laughed off. When we finally made it to his bedroom, he stumbled over to his bed and took a seat at the edge.

“You need pajamas?” I asked. 

“No. I’m...I’m good. Thanks.”

I watched as he started to take off his shirt but then remembered to look away. My cheeks burned and I was thankful it’s dark in the room so he couldn’t see it. But he was not focused on me, he was focused on standing and getting his pants off as he struggled to balance on one leg for a moment to slide the jeans off his feet. 

“Sit down,” I said as I tried not to laugh at his drunken plight. 

He sat on the bed and looked at me with a dopey expression as I walked over to help him. I got on my knees in front of him and had him raise his feet so I could pull the jeans from around his ankles. He tried to pull his socks off but failed at that too so I took them off his feet. He remained sitting there, in his blue boxers, his gaze directed at his hands which were folded in his lap. He looked ashamed of something, and sad. I just wanted to know what the hell was bothering him so much. 

“John, what’s wrong?” Frustration gathered in my gut at the fact that there was something he wasn’t sharing with me. 

“Nothing,” he growled back, his eyes intense as he looked up at me. “You can go back to your husband now, Deputy.”

“Why do you keep calling me that?” I asked.

“What would you rather me call you, huh? Rook?” He focused his attention back on the ground. 

“Or my name, maybe.”

“Maybe I don’t wanna call you that,” he said back. He sounded like a child. I risked moving closer to him and placed my hand on his bare shoulder. 

“Please tell me what’s going on.”

He scoffed and waved me away. “Why do you care?”

“John, something’s clearly wrong. I’m worried about you.”

He looked up at me, his eyes wide and glistening in the moonlight. I frowned at the emotion on his face, having never seen such a thing before from John fucking Seed. I wondered for a moment if he had ever received human kindness like that. I’d never seen Joseph truly care for his little brother - he’d never asked John if he was okay, if he needed anything. The only time Joseph asked anything close to that was when John wasn’t performing his duties as assigned. My heart ached at the thought of John, growing up in an abusive home, never having anyone truly love or care about him. Sure, he had his brothers. But there wasn’t anyone to hold him when he cried, no one to kiss his tears away.

“ _ Why _ ?” His voice was raspy, almost breaking.

“Because I care about you.”

His hands found my hips and he pulled me close before he buried his face in my stomach and wrapped his arms around my waist. I frowned, unsure what he wanted or what he was trying to do, but when he doesn’t move, I placed my hands on his shoulders and caressed him gently.. 

“I care about you, too, Daisy,” he said, his voice muffled by my dress and my belly. “Almost too much I think.” 

I ran a hand through his hair and he nearly nuzzled into my touch as I grazed his face, his beard. “What do you mean?”

“You’re not my wife, Daisy. You’re Joseph’s.”

“I’ll be all of yours soon,” I whispered.

John looked up at me with wide blue eyes and I placed my hand behind his neck, and bent down to brush my lips against his. He moaned at the slight contact and deepened the kiss almost instantly as his grip on my hips grew stronger. His tongue danced along my lower lip and I whimpered into his mouth, letting him into mine. As his tongue glided over my own, his hands stroked down my hips to my thighs and up my skirt. He grabbed at my ass with hunger as he ran his fingers along the lace panties I wore.

He pulled me onto his lap and his cock was already hard against me. The dress came over my head, followed by my bralet, and he took a moment to look over my exposed breasts and my panties. I blushed at the gaze and resisted the urge to cover myself up before he pulled me close and started kissing and biting at my neck. I whimpered as he bit down on the spot where my shoulder and neck met and he let out a soft growl at the sound. 

“Those  _ noises _ , Daisy,” he whispered in my ear before sucking on my earlobe. “Your fucking mouth makes the most gorgeous, desperate noises.” 

His hands wandered lower as his mouth moved to my breasts, sucking, tugging and biting my nipples. I held his head there as I weaved my fingers through his dark brown hair and tugged roughly, which caused him to nearly purr against my skin. 

“J-John,” I whimpered. 

“Say it again,” he hissed as his fingers danced over my panties. 

I continued to moan his name as his fingers slipped under the elastic and roughly rubbed the little bundle of nerves between my thighs. He teased my clit for a moment before his fingers brushed my entrance, pulling a whimper from my throat as I begged him to fuck me with his fingers. He obliged and dipped one in. An embarrassingly desperate noise escaped my lips as I ground against his finger, desperate for him to fill me up and make me feel so fucking good.

“ _ Fuck _ , you’re so pretty like this. Such a mess for me.”

He added another finger and brushed against that magic spot inside of me. My breathing was heavy as I rode his fingers, his eyes dark as he watched me. After a moment, he pulled his fingers from me and I protested the loss of them, but he smiled as he pressed them against my lips. I opened my mouth and sucked on his fingers before he shoved them down my throat. A moan escaped me at the feeling and my tongue lapped at my own juices as he watched me, his eyes heavy and his pupils blown wide with lust. 

“I wanna taste you,” he said before he tossed me off him and onto my back on the bed with my legs dangling off the side. 

He got to his knees on the ground and I rested my weight on my elbows, desperate to watch him. His mouth attacked my clit before I could register it and my hips bucked up into his mouth almost automatically. He sucked and licked roughly and I moaned, grinding against his face. 

“Yeah, you fucking like that?” he asked, his breath hot on my wet pussy.

“F-fuck yes,” I whimpered as I tugged at his hair. 

I keened and mewled as he resumed his mouth’s assault. I leaned back on my hand and kept the other in his hair, watching him as he devoured my cunt with the hunger of a wild animal. His tongue lapped at my juices excitedly and I felt my climax approaching quickly. John moaned around me as I started rubbing hard against his face, so close, so  _ fucking _ close…

“John? Jacob? You there?” Joseph’s voice from the radio on John’s nightstand cut off my climax and I growled in frustrated as John stood to answer his brother’s call. 

He stumbled over to the radio, his beard glistening with my wetness. I would have blushed if I wasn’t so frustrated, so close to my orgasm and then denied it. I remained seated on the bed as I watched as John picked up the radio. As he was about to answer, I dipped my fingers between my legs and watched as he stared at me with a gaping mouth. I began to rub myself furiously and he cleared his throat. 

“Here, over.” Jacob’s voice said before John could answer.

“Wh-what’s up, Joseph?” John’s voice came out as a squeak, and the way he was slurring his words certainly didn’t help.

“John, you sound intoxicated,” Joseph said.

“I’m not,” John said before clearing his throat again. “What’s going on?”

He stared at me as I threw my head back, my mouth open in a silent scream, my eyes still fixated on him. He palmed his cock beneath his boxers and at the sight, I came all over my own fingers, moaning John’s name just as Joseph started to speak.

“Jacob, is Daisy still with you?” Joseph asked. 

“She’s-”

“She’s still at the bar,” John said before Jacob could answer. “I saw her through the window when I was driving past.”

There was a pause on the radio for a moment and I shot John a glare as I continued to finger myself for him and I prayed that Jacob would go along with the charade. 

“Yeah, she’s still in there,” Jacob said. 

“You’ll make sure she gets home safe, right, Jacob?”

“Of course.”

I stared at John as he continued to palm himself as he watched me come down from my high. “I’m going to fuck you so fucking hard,” he muttered, his voice low as Jacob and Joseph droned on about me getting home safe. 

“We need to meet tomorrow. Radio Faith and tell her to come first thing in the morning. Daisy needs to be there too.”

“What’s the meeting about?” John asked as he pulled his boxers off and stepped out of them, rubbing his cock hard and rough as he watched me start to finger myself again. I smiled and rubbed at my nipples, deciding to give him a good show. 

“It’s  _ the  _ meeting, John.”

John grew frigid and I looked at him with a frown as I stopped playing with myself. What could that possibly mean? My heart banged against my chest and I wondered for a moment if Joseph had seen the end of the world already, if it was coming sooner than any of us could’ve anticipated. 

“Okay, Joseph.”

“Please make sure Daisy’s okay, Jacob. I’m worried about her.” 

John looked at me with sad eyes and I sat up on the bed and covered myself with the blanket.

“I will, Joseph,” came Jacob’s reply.

“Thank you. Over and out.”

John clicked off the radio and grabbed up his boxers before he pulled them up to his waist. He turned and looked at me with a very serious expression. “You’re very fucking lucky Jacob went along with that little act.”

“I know,” I replied, frowning. “Wait, aren’t we both lucky?”

“If Joseph finds out what  _ you  _ did, we’re both screwed. We should  _ not  _ have done that.”

“What  _ I  _ did?” I asked. “You were the one talking about pinning me against the wall and fucking me. And why shouldn’t we have done that, anyway? I’m gonna be fucking you and Jacob sooner or later. It’s not a big deal.”

“It  _ is  _ a big deal,” he hissed. 

“I don’t…”

“I’m not about to get gluttony or lust carved into my body again,” John yelled. He looked almost predatory as he stalked over to me. “What we just did was not okay. We weren’t meant to do that until the Collapse. When we need to make children.” 

“John-” 

“Your  _ husband  _ is worried about you,” he said. “And fuck, he should be. What a dirty fucking  _ whore  _ you are. Did you fuck Jacob tonight, too? Suck him off while he drove you to the bar and your husband was writhing in pain and seeing the end of the world play out behind his own eyes?” 

I glared at him as I stood and gathered my clothes. “You know what? Fuck you, John.” 

“You’re a temptress and a whore.”

Once my dress was on, I stalked over to him and tried to slap him across the face. His hand caught my wrist in a tight grip and I felt panic start to settle in my stomach as I whimpered. “John -” 

“Get out!”

I jumped at the aggressive edge his voice had taken on and I sprinted away as he threw something at the door that just barely missed me as I made my way through it. I heard it shatter and I didn’t even look back as my heart pounded loudly in my chest and my body went into survival mode.  _ Get out, get out, get OUT. _ I pulled the front door open and wiped the tears from my cheeks as I climbed into the car and told Jacob to drive. He stayed put for a moment as he looked me over and I glared at him and told him to drive the goddamn car.

“What took you so long? And why the fuck did John lie on the radio?”

“It doesn’t matter,” I sobbed, unable to keep up a tough exterior with my heart so loud and hard against my chest and my body nervous and trembling. “Just go!”

“What’d he do to you?” Jacob’s voice softened a bit. “Did he hurt you?”

“No he just…” I inhaled deeply and tried to calm my heart rate before I continued. “He shouted at me.”

“Why?” 

“Because we fooled around, okay? And apparently we’re not supposed to or something. I don’t fucking know, Joseph doesn’t tell me shit, okay? Now can you please fucking drive me home?” I yelled, almost too harshly for my own liking. 

Jacob looked me over for a minute and shook his head before he started the car and began to drive. “Joseph didn’t tell you that you couldn’t do things with us yet?” he asked. 

I wiped the tears from my cheeks and shook my head. “No. He was very vague about the whole thing.”

“Then it wasn’t your fault, you didn’t know.”

I laughed. “You really think Joseph is going to be okay with the fact that I broke one of his fucking rules?”

Jacob shrugged. “If anything he should be mad at John.”

I sighed and nodded. Jacob put his hand on my back in comfort and I leaned into the touch. It felt so calming and it instantly grounded me as I tried to get my mind away from the flashbacks of my mom’s shitty boyfriends screaming at me. 


	13. Chapter 13

When we walked into the door, Joseph was sitting at the table, writing into his journal in a frantic way that could only be described as furious, as if he was trying to hurt the pages or something. He looked up and me and I saw his eyes were nearly bulging out of his head. 

“Daisy,” he breathed as he stood and rushed towards me. He pulled my into his arms and wrapped them tight around me as he embraced me. “Thank God you’re alright. I was worried.”

“Joseph, what’s wrong?” I asked.

“I saw the Collapse, Daisy,” he said, his mouth muffled by my shoulder. “It’s coming. Could be tomorrow. Could be the following day...it’s  _ coming _ , soon.”

“Aren’t you ready for it?” 

“I thought we had more time. At least a couple months. Maybe even a year.”

I took it all in for a moment, and Joseph saw Jacob and immediately started talking to him about what to do with his bunker and how they needed to make sure the connecting paths between all four of theirs were safe and good to go. 

“I have to go warn the others,” I said. “I can’t...they have to be prepared.” 

Joseph allowed me to go and Jacob said I could take his truck since he figured he’d be there most of the night talking to Joseph. I went to the Rye’s first, and as I knocked on their door, I knew they were going to think I was fucking crazy.

“Dep? What’s up?” Nick asked when he came to the door with Kim.

“You guys are going to think I’m crazy,” I started. “But I need you to listen to me.”

Kim snorted. “I knew it,” she said. “They’ve turned her into one of ‘em,” 

“What’s goin’ on, Rook? You’re actin’ all sorts of bonkers.”

“I know you guys think that Joseph is a madman. I understand that. I used to think that too. But since I started living with him for the past couple months, I’m beginning to think he might be right about all this.”

They looked at each other before they turned back to me with critical eyes. “What the hell are you goin’ on about?” Nick asked.

“Joseph said the Collapse is coming soon. This week type soon. I just want you guys to be safe! Find one of the abandoned bunkers in town, take your stuff and your daughter. Please.”

“No fuckin’ way. Our daughter’s not gonna grow up in a bunker, Rook.”

“Please!”

I went to everyone’s houses - the sunlight was shining high in the sky by the time I made it back to the compound. Everyone thought I was crazy, that I was one of the Peggies, that Joseph had officially brainwashed me. As I listened to the radio channels on the drive back to Joseph’s, I could hear them talking about me. Tracey and Whitehorse, though, they seemed to believe me. 

“Rook’s got a solid head on her shoulders, everyone,” Whitehorse said. “Maybe she’s tellin’ the truth.”

When I got back to the compound, I could tell the rest of the family was already there, waiting for me. My eyes were heavy from absolutely no sleep as I walked in and I was thankful that Jacob was busy making breakfast. 

John glanced up at me and wouldn’t look away as I walked to the table, his gaze deep, dark and full of anger. Joseph stood to give me a kiss but my eyes stayed on John to see his annoyed and frustrated reaction. As Joseph and I pulled away from each other, I saw Faith looking between me and John and my stomach knotted with nerves that maybe Jacob had said something to everyone. I didn’t think he would do something like that, but at that point, I had no clue who to trust.

“Are your friends all right, love?” Joseph asked as I sat down, his hand on my back as he took in my exhausted expression.

Faith passed me a cup of coffee - three creams, two sugars. Just the way I’d always taken it. I wondered for a moment how the hell she knew that but didn’t dwell much on it as I took a sip. 

“No one believed me,” I said. “They all think I’m crazy now, too.”

Joseph pressed a kiss to my head and wrapped me up in his arms. “You did all you could.”

I looked up at him. “Joseph, if they come to us, we have to let them in.”

John snorted. “No fucking way.” His gaze was harsh as he stared me down.

“Language,” Joseph warned.

“They’re good people, John. If you all can somehow forgive me for trying to kill you, surely you can forgive them for helping me.”

“They’ll kill us all the second they’re in our bunkers,” Jacob said as he spooned some eggs and bacon onto plates and brought them over. “We cannot let that happen. Those who don’t want to join us are left to burn. That’s how it was always supposed to be.”

I sighed as I felt angry tears stinging my eyes while I thought of all my friends dead. I buried my face in Joseph’s stomach and he picked me up from the seat and sat down in his own chair, where he cradled me in his lap. Out of the corner of my eye I saw John look heartbroken for a moment.

The rest of the meeting was a blur. I barely remembered it since I spent most of it curled up in Joseph’s lap like a cat. I didn’t want any part in preparing for the end of the world, especially if it involved letting my friends die because my stupid husband wouldn’t allow them through into the safety of the bunkers. I wondered for a moment if the Resistance had continued, if I’d kept fighting instead of joining him, would he have done the same thing to me? He’d said so many times that the Voice had shown him visions of us together, of me standing with his entire family. Would he have still refused to let me through to safety? 

Was the world going to end, or was he really just the crazy psychopath everyone had warned me about?

That singular thought gave me an anxious feeling deep inside of me and I took a breath and stood. I sat in my own chair, away from Joseph and tried to eat some food but mostly stuck with the coffee. My heart broke inside my chest over and over as I pictured my friends pounding desperately on the doors to the bunkers, trying to get in, and dying out there alone. Part of me thought about Joseph, if all of that would reveal who he truly was - was he a fraud? Was the world going to stay the same as it always was and then I would realize that I’d married a liar who manipulated a whole county into violence and terror for no reason at all?

I watched him as he discussed the plans with Jacob, John and Faith. I watched how passionate and intense he was, and for a moment I figured that couldn’t be fake, could it? How could he have fooled so many people if it was all a lie? 

My eyes met Jacob’s and I saw that he was watching me, and the same went for John. I felt a blush creep up my cheeks and prayed that they didn’t know the horrible thoughts I was having, that they couldn’t read my mind and see the doubt and terror that rested there.

“I need some air,” I said almost breathlessly as I stood. I walked to the door and opened it, and once I was outside I closed it harsher than I had intended. I took a seat on the porch and stared around the garden for a moment, trying to control my breath and regain some sort of mental clarity.

“You all right?” Jacob’s voice startled me out of my thoughts. He closed the door behind him and came to sit next to me. 

“No,” I replied. “What if...Jacob, what if the end of the world doesn’t come?” 

He chuckled. “Don’t tell me, after all this, you’re doubting him now.” 

“What if all of this was a giant lie? What if he never heard anything and he just told people he did and saw the power it gave him? What if he’s just a psychopath who wanted power and took it over the weak because he saw it in their eyes that they wanted something like this?” Tears blurred my vision and slipped down my cheeks - I was too exhausted to stop them. “What if I married a crazy person who manipulated, tortured and waged war on an entire county just for the hell of it?”

Jacob turned his body to face me and gently wiped my tears away with his thumbs before he took my hand in both of his. “I understand your doubt, Daisy. But Joseph wouldn’t do that. He just wouldn’t. He’s a good man. He loves you.”

“If he’s a good man who loves me so much, why would he turn my friends away if they come?” 

“Because the Voice told him the way to do things. He has to obey.”

“Oh, fuck the Voice.” I pulled away from Jacob’s grip and stood. “Fuck all this shit! God isn’t some monster. Would God, would Jesus, have turned the sinners away?”

“Daisy, that’s not my area of expertise, alright?” Jacob said. “I’m just trying to help you.”

“Then convince your brother to be merciful. Those people aren’t evil, Jacob. They were angry because you guys came here and took everything that they had built, everything that belonged to them - including loved ones! So please, just think about that for a moment.”

I stormed inside and didn’t even look at Joseph, Faith or John ( _ especially _ John) as I went into the bedroom and slammed the door behind me. The coffee did nothing to make me feel more alert, and the second I lied on the bed, I felt myself drifting into sleep.


	14. Chapter 14

I woke up later to Joseph getting into his side of the bed carefully, as if he didn’t want to disturb me. My whole body felt gutted and empty, like I was a carp who had been hacked to pieces and used as bait. I wondered for a moment if Joseph had been manipulating me since that night they found me in the woods, if he somehow got me into a twisted web of lies. But if he had, would I leave him? 

As he got under the covers, I let out a whine and he turned to look at me. I was exhausted and barely able to keep my eyes open, but I needed to be in his arms. I needed him to hold me and reassure me that everything was going to be okay. He lied down on his back and extended his arm in an invitation and I took it, curling up into his side and resting my head against his chest.

“I’m sorry, Daisy,” he muttered, his voice raspy. Had he been crying too? “I can’t make my own decisions on certain things. If I could, I would invite all your friends to join us, without baptisms, atonements, confessions. None of that. But I have to obey God.”

“I know,” I grumbled. “I feel so alone.” He pulled me closer and I placed my leg over his. “I...I never thought I’d care so much for people on different sides of a divide that could mean...everything.”

He kissed the top of my head. “I know it’s hard, Daisy. But you must have faith.”

“I do,” I replied. “But there’s part of me that’s scared that this is all…” I took a breath. I was scared to even speak my thoughts aloud to him, to question him. What if he lashed out at me? What if he tried to kill me? What if the gentle, kind man I’d grown to know over the past couple months was actually the violent and manipulative psychopath everyone else claimed him to be?

“What?” He prompted me to continue.

“I have no way of knowing whose right, Joseph,” I said, my voice breaking as the words tumbled out of my mouth. “I have no way of knowing whether the world is coming to an end or you’re the person they all told me you were when I first got here.”

He didn’t say much as he let me ramble on about my thoughts, about how much I loved him and how it felt almost too good to be true, that I was worried that maybe I’d made a mistake, that I had no proof that any of what he was saying was even real. He didn’t look down at me, focused his gaze on the cross across the room as I spoke. I wept and begged for his forgiveness (for what, I wasn’t even sure. Maybe for not believing him?) and I told him I loved him but I was scared. Nothing had ever worked out for me before so why would that change? What if I was the world’s biggest fool and I married someone who belonged in prison? 

Once I spilled it all out into the open, he didn’t speak, but his grip didn’t become harsher or tighter on my body. He just lay there, staring ahead. I wiped my tears and sat up in bed as I looked down at him, silently begging him to answer me, somehow, even if it was to admit that he was lying and cheating and manipulating everyone around him, I wanted him to say something rather than just sitting there in silence and waiting. With each agonizing second, my heart rate picked up a little bit more.

“I understand your doubts, Daisy,” he said after what felt like days. “I do. Of course I do. I couldn’t expect you to blindly follow me, that’s not what I want from you. I want you to voice your opinions on things, to discuss this with me. But I also want you to see what I see.” 

He took one look at me and I could tell he could see how broken I was. He took my neck and pressed his forehead against mine, and for a moment I felt a sense of calm wash over me before a blinding headache split my brain into two.

Suddenly, I wasn’t in bed with him anymore. I was surrounded by fire and chaos and pain and death. I smelled sulfur, saw nothing but burnt buildings and skeletons of animals and humans alike on fire at my feet. There was nothing around me except flames and no matter how I spun around to look somewhere else, there was only pain and torture and death and agony for a million miles. 

I screamed and pulled away from Joseph like he burned me. 

“What _was_ that?” I asked.

“My visions.”

“Why...why would you do that?”

My head throbbed with pain and Joseph stood calmly from the bed and went to the kitchen. I could hear him boiling water and making tea as I began to sob, the pain so great in my head that I didn’t know how to handle it. Joseph came back shortly and helped me sit up against the headboard before he assisted me with drinking the tea, and slowly the pain began to ease. 

“I’m sorry,” he said. “I forget how intolerable the pain can be after getting so used to it.” 

I didn’t say anything in response, I just sipped the bitter tea and wiped my tears that continued to fall from my eyes without my permission, and I wished I could just have one moment of happiness without something miserable and horrible stepping in and interrupting it.

“What’s going on with John?” he asked after I finished the tea and calmed down a considerable amount.

“What?” I felt my heart rate pick up instantly. 

_Does he know? Did John tell him? Or Jacob? Oh, shit I’m so incredibly screwed._

“He seemed very fixated on you today.”

“I don’t know,” I replied.

“I heard that you saw him last night.” Joseph’s voice was stern. “That you went to his ranch. But when I radioed him he acted like he hadn’t seen you, and Jacob acted like you were still at the bar.”

“He...he wasn’t feeling well. He needed help.”

“If you lie to me, Daisy, you’ll need to atone.”

I couldn’t even look at him, I felt so embarrassed and stupid. Of course someone told him. I didn’t know who but I should’ve known one of them would crack. _Why are they all so fucking bad at keeping secrets, goddamnit!_

“He’s sad, Joseph.”

“What about?”

“He was drinking his body weight at the Spread Eagle so I helped him get home.”

“Why were you there for so long?” he asked. “Don’t you dare lie to me.”

I felt extremely overwhelmed and afraid for a moment. My head throbbed dully and I wondered if seeing into Joseph’s visions had left me permanently damaged. I wondered if I was ever going to see my friends again, and then I wondered what the hell Joseph was going to do to me for everything that had happened. 

“He’s...he’s in love with me I think,” I muttered.

“Why do you think that?” Joseph asked.

“He looks sad every time he sees us kiss or embrace.”

“So why were you there for so long, Daisy?”

“We…” 

I didn’t finish the sentence, I just felt tears spring from my eyes and roll down my cheeks. Joseph watched me as I cry, as I told him I was so sorry. He was emotionless the same way he had been earlier and it looked like he was willing himself to be patient with me.

“John shouldn’t have done that,” he said after a while.

“What?” I asked. “I did it, too. We both did.”

“You don’t know any better. He does,” Joseph replied.

“What does that mean? I don’t know any better?”

“I’ve explained to John in detail why we must wait until the Collapse to share you among us. I’ve explained that my child is the first child you need to bear.”

Out of nowhere, a feeling hit me hard in the gut. Why did I feel like an object? Why did his words make me feel as though I was nothing to him, nothing to any of them, other than some sort of sick breeding machine for them to pump their semen into so I could produce their babies? Was that the arrangement I’d agreed to, all for the sake of some peace and quiet and no longer having to fight the Resistance's battles anymore? My heart hammered loudly in my chest as I looked at the man I now called my husband and wished that I could read what he was thinking to get some sort of goddamn understanding.

“Why didn’t you tell me that?” I asked.

“I didn’t think you were one to succumb to your lust,” he said. “John and Jacob, however...they needed to fully understand.”

“It’s not fair that you left me out of it, Joseph,” I replied. 

Hot anger bubbled within my stomach and instantly my thoughts returned to the same questioning process they’d been doing hours before. What if I’d made a mistake? What if Joseph was a fucked up liar, and I was stuck married to him? None of that was supposed to happen, none of it was what I had planned when I got in that helicopter the night that we tried to arrest him. The crash was unexpected but...I was never supposed to marry the man I’d come to arrest. I was never supposed to get stuck in his house while I healed from a nearly fatal injury. I was never supposed to be shared among his family and kept on a short and controlling leash. What the hell was I going to do? 

“I didn’t think you’d do something like this,” he said, his tone sad. “I’ll need to hear John’s confession and carve a sin into his flesh in the morning.”

“Why?” 

“Because he knew it was a sin!” Joseph yelled, startling me. I moved away from him, to the edge of the bed, terrified. “I’m...I’m sorry, Daisy.”

“You should’ve fucking told me, Joseph! Then I wouldn’t have screwed all this up like I did. You’re my husband and I’m your wife and that means you tell me things.”

“You need a _reason_ not to have sex with my brother?” He roared. “Am I not enough for you?”

Fear and heartbreak turned to anger within a moment. Why was he so upset? This was all his doing, anyway. I’d agreed to marry him, knowing that his plan for me was to fuck both John and Jacob. And he’d told me since I woke up in his bedroom after the crash that I should attempt to love Jacob and John. I was so furious that he’d kept the details from me, not explained to me from the start what the intentions of the marriage to me were. If I’d known the rules, I wouldn’t have broken them. 

We fought for hours, and by the time we were done, the sun was already starting to rise. Another night of no sleep gave me bags under my eyes and I collapsed in the bed once it was all over, my eyes glazed over as they focused on the ceiling. Joseph lied next to me, looking nervous to touch me. We’d both said extremely hurtful things to each other. Both of us had yelled, shouted, threw things. All the emotions I’d ignored over the past couple months boiled to the surface before I could stop them and I wondered if he would ever forgive me.

I wondered if I _wanted_ him to forgive me.


	15. Chapter 15

At some point, I must’ve fallen asleep because I woke up to the sound of whistling and the smell of crackling bacon. I glanced at the clock and saw it was about 10 in the morning, so I stumbled out of bed, feeling disoriented and exhausted as I made my way to the living room. I was greeted with the sight of Jacob cooking breakfast and the Judge from the other day lying on the carpet in front of the fireplace. There was no sign of Joseph. 

“What’re you doing here?” I asked as the Judge walked over to me and nuzzled my leg, demanding my attention. I pet him and scratched behind his ears as I made my way to the table.

“Joseph had something to do in Holland Valley,” Jacob replied. I could tell he was trying to act nonchalant about the whole thing. “I made some breakfast and a whole lot of coffee for ya.”

“When did he leave?”

“About an hour ago.”

I took a seat and the Judge laid his head in my lap. Jacob shooed him away once the food was on the table and he wandered back over to the fireplace and curled up, but kept his eyes on me. I smiled as I tore a small piece of bacon when Jacob turned to fill up a mug of coffee for me. 

“Don’t you dare,” Jacob said, with his back still facing me.  _ Does this motherfucker have eyes in the back of his head? _ “Table feeding them will really fuck ‘em up.”

“Sorry,” I mumbled and put the piece in my mouth.

He sat back down and placed a large mug of coffee in front of me. I fixed it how I liked, cream and sugar, and drank the whole thing quickly. I ignored the burning sensation as the hot liquid made its way down my throat, and Jacob watched me curiously before he dug into his own food. I filled up another mug of coffee and figured that at the rate I was going, I’d need a hell of a lot more than that. 

The air in the house felt different, though, and I wasn’t sure what it was. It didn’t have anything to do with tension because Jacob was acting as he usually did, despite the fact that Joseph was dealing with John for something I did. It just felt...different. Off. Like the entire world was off kilter for a reason that I couldn’t explain. I tried to ignore it as I looked over at Jacob, who was scarfing his food down like a fucking animal. I chuckled at the sight, but my mood turned back to dark almost instantly.

“Where’s Joseph?” I asked.

“I think you know where he is, honey.”

“Getting a confession from John,” I replied. “Because of me.”

“Like I said before, you didn’t know any better,” Jacob said. “John and I both did. It’s his own damn fault.”

“Okay, sure. But if I hadn’t gone over and talked to him at the bar, he would’ve just ended up drunk in a ditch somewhere and none of this would’ve happened. I was trying to be nice and then things took a turn and now, because of what I did, he’s going to get hurt.”

“I’m sorry, Daisy.”

“You gotta take me there,” I said as I glanced up at him. “Please, Jacob.”

“No way,” Jacob replied as he finished his bacon. “That’ll just make Joseph more mad. You don’t want to do that.”

“I’ve gotta at least  _ try  _ to help John,” I said.

After another few minutes of begging, Jacob reluctantly agreed to take me there. The car ride was silent aside from the soft music on the radio that wafted through the air. He could tell I was nervous, and he placed his hand on my knee for reassurance. 

When we got to the ranch, I could hear commotion inside as we got out of the car. I rushed to the front door and pulled it open to find John tied up in a chair in the center of the living room, bleeding and bruised. He stared at me, as if he was worried about Joseph noticing my presence. But my husband turned to look at me and my eyes met his, which were wide and bulging like they were the other night. His knuckles were bloody and he looked delirious. I moved quickly, despite John and Jacob’s shouts for me to stay where I was. 

I stood in front of John’s chair and held my arms out to block my husband from him. “What the fuck, Joseph?”

“He’s confessing,” Joseph said plainly. I wondered how he could have such little emotion while he was torturing his own flesh and blood.

“You’re beating the shit outta him,” I said. “Last I checked, unless someone is unwilling to join this fucking cult, that wasn’t part of it.”

Joseph looked me over for a moment and I raised an eyebrow. “Get out of here, Daisy. This isn’t your business.”

“Why the hell are you hurting  _ him  _ for something that  _ I  _ did?” 

There was a tense moment of silence as Jacob and Joseph looked at each other in confusion. John muttered at me to stop talking but I ignored him. Joseph moved closer to me and placed a bloody hand around my neck. He didn’t choke me, but his hand felt like a reminder that he could if he wanted to and his brothers wouldn’t do a thing about it. 

“What do you mean?” 

“ _ I’m _ the one who kissed  _ him _ . I initiated everything.”

Joseph’s jaw clenched and so did his fist around my neck, not hard but ever present. “What?”

“I kissed him first. I started the whole thing.”

Joseph glanced at Jacob. “Did you know this?”

“I didn’t ask for any details,” Jacob replied. 

“Get a chair.”

“No!” John shouted, but no one listened to him. 

Jacob pulled another chair up and wrestled me into it, and once I was seated, Joseph tied my arms and legs to the chair, just as John was tied up. John looked at me helplessly as he twisted against his bonds in an attempt to get out and protect me, but he was only hurting himself since Joseph tied them perfectly.

“Confess, Daisy,” Joseph said as he squatted down to be at my eye level.

“I kissed John. And then we made out for a while before he went down on me. You radioed him right as I was about to come so I spent that radio call fucking myself with my fingers until I came and John watched.”

Joseph’s gaze flickered with fury and jealousy with each word I spoke. Jacob let out a low whistle and I knew he was aware of how serious the situation was but he still chuckled lowly and shook his head. I didn’t feel anything other than pride in myself for being so brave because Joseph was looking at me like he wanted to punch the shit out of my face - the same way he was punching John when I arrived. 

He cut my left arm free and grabbed it roughly so the inside of my forearm was facing him before he took the knife from its place on his thigh holster and stared at me his eyes dark with anger but also sadness about what he was going to do to me.

“Thank you for your confession of your lust, Daisy.”

“Joseph, don’t,” John pleaded.

“Keep your mouth shut, little brother.” 

Joseph took the knife and began the process of carving my sin into my skin. I didn’t scream, I didn’t let out a single noise to indicate any pain I felt. I just watched him, eyes glassy with tears, as he mutilated my skin. When he was done with the “T”, his eyes drifted up to me and I could see that there was pain inside of them. 

I watched, silently, as he did the same to John, but on his shoulder. And then he cut the both of us free. I stared at the wounds on my arm in awe, almost shocked they weren’t even hurting me. I wondered if I could even feel anything at all anymore. A dark fucking thought, if I was honest with myself. 

Jacob bandaged the wound and did the same for John before Joseph unbuttoned his shirt. I watched, confused, and no one said a thing as he turned his back and got on his knees right in front of me. He took the knife from his holster again and looked at me before he passed it into my hand, his eyes full of heavy emotion. 

“I’d like to confess.”

“About what?”

“My envy.”

I sighed as I glanced at John, who gave me a small nod. I didn’t really know how to proceed considering I hadn’t taken part in this fucked up ritual before, so I shot a look of confusion to John, who mouthed at me how I should respond.

“What about your envy?”

“The thought of you and my brother together drove me to act irrationally. Yes, the two of you both should have had confession and atonement but not the way you did. I’m sorry. I acted enviously and was driven by that envy to torture John before carving his sin into his flesh.”

I glanced at Jacob, who was watching closely, as if to see whether I would have the guts to do what Joseph was asking of me. My hands shook as I looked down at Joseph’s skin. I didn’t want to do it, I wanted to run away and I felt like Jacob could sense my fear as he came up close behind me. His presence and sturdy body pressed against mine calmed me for a moment and I took a deep breath.

“Do it, Daisy,” Jacob’s voice was rough as he growled in my ear.

“ _ Please _ ,” Joseph said, his voice almost desperate. 

“Where?” My voice broke.

Joseph pointed to his shoulder and I took a deep breath before I placed the blade on his skin and began the process. I carved the letter “E” and tried not to notice the small noises of pain he was making. Next came the “N”, and by the time I was done, my hands were bloody and so was the floor. Joseph stood and put his hands on my shoulders before he kissed my head.

“Thank you, love,” he said. 

Jacob bandaged him up and he put his shirt back on before he mentioned wanting to go to the river bank and pray. Once he was gone, I was alone with Jacob and John. The eldest brother had a disinterested look on his face as he sharpened his hunting knife, and John couldn’t even look at me at all. I glanced out the window and a strong desire to run and never come back welled up inside me. The urge to sprint through the trees to the lake caused my legs to itch until finally, I couldn’t take it anymore. 

I bolted out the door and ignored Jacob’s shouts to come back. I sprinted through the forest, up the hills, and I could hear Jacob following me, calling out my name and telling me to stop. After about ten minutes, I lost him. At least for the moment. I made it to the top of a small mountain that overlooked the water and I sat down on the grass as I looked out over the crystal blue water glistening in the sunlight. 

_ How has it all come to this? How is it that I’ve changed so much since I came to this fucking place?  _ I didn’t know how to feel or how to act, and I wasn’t sure I’d made the right choice to leave the Resistance. Maybe I was better off without the Seed brothers in my life. 

I stayed there with my mind running at a hundred miles per hour for a while, but I wasn’t sure how long. A loud bang in the distance made me sit up in panic, and I watched a huge mushroom cloud appear on the horizon. 

_ What the actual fuck is that? _

The whole earth trembled beneath me as I stood, fear igniting inside me. I sprinted back the way I came as I tried to retrace my steps but failed multiple times, unable to stay on any sort of path. I shouted out for Jacob, my throat raw and smoke and fire filling my vision. I got to the part of the forest that was blazing, and felt my lungs burn at the intake of smoke. 

_ This is it _ , I thought.  _ This is the end of the world and I have no idea where I am _ . 

I tried to calm my mind, tried to remember how to get back to John’s ranch, but my wounds burned harshly and I tried to focus as I sprinted this way and that, completely unsure of the path I’d come since everything was on fire and the smoke was intense and oh God, I was going to die here. I was going to die here in this hellhole and I wasn’t ever going to see the Seeds again and my heart fucking hurt at the thought.

Finally, someone grabbed me from behind and I let out a scream, but turned to see Jacob. 

“Thank fucking God!” He yelled as he slung me over his shoulder as if I weighed nothing and sprinted with me to the Ranch. 

I watched as the world collapsed in on itself behind him and felt my heart pounding loudly.  _ Will we make it, _ I wondered.  _ Will we make it or are we going to die out here? _

We did make it back to John’s ranch and there were hundreds of Peggies running about, preparing things. I lost Jacob in the chaos after he set me down, and screamed for the brothers, desperate to find them. None of the faces matched theirs and anxiety overtook me.

“She’s over here!” a Peggie shouted and for a moment I felt a bolt of panic - muscle memory from the days I’d spent on the other side of the fight. A fight that didn’t seem to matter any more. 

Arms wrapped themselves around me from behind and I started screaming, unsure who the hell was grabbing me. I tried to kick and buck in their arms, tried to get away, screaming bloody murder so loud my own ears hurt. 

“It’s me, my dear,” John’s voice said into my ear and immediately I relaxed and everything around me faded to black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading so far!! I hope you all enjoy it! Up next, we got a whole lotta bunker time.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: there's some violence here, and an attempted sexual assault. If that's a trigger for you, I'd recommend skipping this chapter and I'll provide notes at the bottom with the important plot points.

I awoke to shouts and screams, sounds of panic and stress. I glanced around myself and saw that I was on a large mattress, but I definitely wasn’t at Joseph’s compound anymore. My arm hurt to move for some reason and I glanced around me a little more before I realized that I was absolutely, one hundred percent, in a bunker. 

_ Fuck. Fucking fuck fuck _ .  _ I’m in a bunker. Why am I in a bunker? _

Everything caught up to me at once - the run through the woods, finding Jacob, getting separated, the explosions, the screaming. My throat ached something awful and I coughed roughly before I noticed a large glass of water on the bedside table, which I downed quickly. I sat up and listened to the commotion happening outside my door for a moment - people were shouting and screaming, telling each other not to let the sinners into the bunker.

Of course it had come to that. I stood and jumped out of bed and sprinted into the chaos to try and talk some sense into Joseph so he would let my friends inside. Peggies ran around, bumping into me until finally, one of them knocked me to the ground. I smacked my head and everything blurred out of focus for a moment before I tried to get up again but got knocked down. I tried to scream out for help but I wasn’t sure if I was even making noise or if anyone could hear me. Where was Joseph? John? Jacob? Faith? Where was anyone I knew and loved?

I somehow managed to stumble back to my feet and I ran along with the other Peggies, with no idea of which way I should go. Finally, I got to another hallway and I turned, finding a higher ranking member of Eden’s Gate ordering the other Peggies around.

“Where’s the Father?” I asked. He stared at me for a moment before he looked away and didn’t respond. “Can you hear me!? Where’s Joseph?” 

He moved along with his business, as if I didn’t exist. I growled and ran away from him, screaming for someone to tell me where the fuck my family was. I decided not to dwell on the fact that I considered them my family, and tried to focus on finding them instead. Why was no one looking at me? Could no one hear me? Was I dead and I didn’t even know it?

Finally, I collided with someone and got knocked to the ground again. “Shit, sorry,” I groaned, my head throbbing. 

When I got up with help, I was face to face with Jacob, who I never thought I’d ever be so happy to see. 

“Thank fuck, Jacob,” I shouted as I wrapped my arms around him and hugged him tightly. “I was so confused.”

“That’s my fault. I was supposed to be watching you but I got distracted because…” he trailed off.

“Because the sinners want to get into the giant bunkers you guys built to house like how many people?”

He shook his head. “It’s not what you think, honey.”

“Where’s Joseph?”

He took my hand and led me through the chaos, the ocean of Peggies parting for him like the Red Sea for Moses. No one looked at me, their eyes all downcast as I passed them. I decided to ask someone about that later. All I cared about right then was helping my friends, or whoever was at the bunker trying to get in.

My head was banging and I felt like I got hit by a truck, so keeping up with Jacob’s quick pace was difficult. When I finally made it to Joseph, I started crying as I wrapped my arms around him tightly. He did the same, planted a kiss to my head, and told me how worried he was when he couldn’t find me when the bombs hit. I asked what the hell was going on and he told me the Collapse had come. I asked who the hell was trying to get into the bunker and he told me it was not the Resistance. 

“Your friends are safe. They’re in Faith’s bunker.”

“Are they high as fuck on Bliss?”

“No. No, they came on their own.”

I sighed with relief. “So who’s out there?”

“The FBI and the National Guard,” Jacob said. “Turns out after Burke left, he went straight for Missoula and came back with reinforcements. They got here yesterday, apparently, and were planning to take on the cult until the bombs fell.”

I felt woozy and slightly overwhelmed, and it was like Joseph could sense it. He told Jacob to take me back to the room I was in and to stay with me to make sure I was okay. He muttered something to him that I couldn’t hear but for some reason I felt like it had something to do with the possibility of the FBI and National Guard getting in and how to handle it if it happened. I shivered at the thought before Jacob led me back through the chaos, carrying me so he didn’t have to worry about guiding me or losing me in the crowd. 

“What about my friends?” I asked him as he closed the door to the room and locked it.

“You’ll see them later.”

He helped me to bed and my whole body felt...horrible. Alarms began to blare through the bunker and Jacob kissed my head before he moved to stand in front of the door with his gun at the ready. There was banging on the door, screams, gunshots...I let out a whimper as Jacob moved closer to the bed to guard me. The banging stopped eventually but I still heard loud, pained noises and I wondered if the world was going to end underground, too. 

It took three hours for everything to calm down and go quiet. The silence almost felt sudden, as if all the screams stopped suddenly and for a moment I worried that Jacob and I were the last two people alive on Earth. Jacob checked his gun before he opened the door and looked around outside. I held my breath while he was gone, praying that agents from the FBI or the National Guard weren’t going to come in and kill me. I waited, listened for something,  _ anything  _ to indicate that things were okay. 

Jacob came back and helped me stand up. “They got in.”

“What’s that mean?” I asked.

“It means a whole lot of our people are dead. But it seems like a lot of theirs are too.”

He led me through a labyrinth of bodies. I desperately wanted to grab his hand but he needed both for his gun. Blood was everywhere and it gathered on my bare feet and made my stomach churn uncomfortably. I grabbed a gun from a dead FBI agent as I passed by and tried to keep my focus on what was behind me while Jacob covered the front of us.

Finally, we made it to an area I recognized, where I’d seen Joseph earlier, only it was no longer loud and teeming with life. There were just dead bodies. Jacob let go of my hand and moved ahead to check around the corner while I stood near a stack of supplies, anxiety twisting in my stomach. I knew their bunkers were large and expansive, and that they were connected, so maybe everyone had gone to a different bunker to stake things out. I hoped to God that my friends were okay, that Joseph, John and Faith were okay. 

I found myself mumbling a little prayer, when out of nowhere, a hand found my neck from behind and forced me to the ground. I screamed and Jacob pointed his gun at my attacker but didn’t pull the trigger, just stood there frozen.

“Drop your weapon or I shoot her,” the man above me yelled. 

I felt the cold metal of a barrel pressed against my temple. Jacob dropped the gun and the man looked me over. He wore an FBI jacket and I struggled against him but he pinned me down even more, a sick smile on his face. 

“No wonder Joseph was so interested in you. You’ve got spunk.”

“Let me go!” I screamed.

He pressed his hand to my neck, his grin widening. “The world’s ending, you fucking whore. And you decided to side with the cult, huh? Abandon all other morals in favor of people who are brainwashing and manipulating innocent civilians. Burke told us all what you did, how you chose to fuck the Father over saving your friends.”

“Please!” I begged. 

“So fucking feisty, aren’t you?”

I twisted my mouth and spat in his face, which caused him to pull out a knife with his free hand and stab it right into my leg. I screamed at the blinding pain while he pulled the knife from the wound with a chuckle and used it to cut the front of my dress wide open from top to bottom and then to slice my bra in half, baring me to him. I screamed for Jacob, my eyes fixated on him, but the FBI agent reminded him that if he moved, I would die. 

“Please,  _ stop _ ,” I whimpered. 

He sliced the skin under my belly button with his knife, causing me to scream again, before he dropped it and focused on pulling my panties down to my knees. I tried so hard to move, to get away from his disgusting touch. 

“You move, I shoot you and fuck your pretty corpse while he watches.” 

He unzipped his pants and I closed my eyes, unable to watch what was about to happen to me. Flashbacks from my time in the Army played behind my eyelids like a horrible slideshow and I felt my stomach turn sour.  _ Not again, _ I prayed.  _ Please, not again. _

A gunshot echoed off the walls and I felt dead weight drop onto me. I cried out in shock as blood poured over my skin but I was still terrified to open my eyes. Someone pulled the weight off me and continued to shoot while someone else wrapped me up in their arms. My husband’s scent filled my lungs and I wept, the pain in my leg was so blinding that I could barely register what was going on. 

“I’m sorry,” Joseph’s desperate voice said. “I’m so sorry.”

I opened my eyes to see John kicking and shooting the man’s dead body. Jacob even joined in, but Joseph ordered them to stop as he felt me jump in his arms with each round that was fired off into the man’s dead body. John’s gaze clashed with mine and suddenly he became worried and concerned as he ran over and dropped next to Joseph to ask how he could help me. 

“He…” I choked on my words and Joseph hushed me, insisting I didn’t need to talk about it if I was not ready. 

My fingers searched desperately for my underwear, which were twisted around my knees. I wanted to cover up. I couldn’t stand the fact that I was so completely exposed. Jacob saw the struggle and knelt next to John before he shrugged his Army jacket off and draped it around my shoulders. He helped me pull my underwear up to my fingers so I could finish getting them around my waist, and I tried to ignore the fact that my heart nearly broke from how kind he was. 

I screamed out as Joseph tried to move me a little bit, the pain in my leg blinding. Jacob searched for a med kit, knowing he had to fix the wound before I lost too much blood. Any touch to it made me cry out and pull away, so John pulled out a bottle of Bliss, which he poured into his hand before he blew it into my face.

~

I woke up shivering. I was freezing and everything, especially the wounds on my leg and stomach, hurt like hell. I was brought back to the moment the man in the FBI jacket stabbed me, tried to violate and touch me. I swam in and out of consciousness and felt people’s hands on me as I heard soft voices speaking to each other.

“She’s too warm,” a voice by my legs said. Jacob? John? I wasn’t sure.

“She’s waking up. What do we do?” Faith said.

“We need to lower her body temperature.”

I drifted back into sleep for a moment, and woke up when I felt hands on me. I let out a cry, realizing I was absolutely completely naked, but I saw Jacob touching my thigh and John near my stomach. 

The third time I woke up, I was under the spray of freezing cold water and I realized I was in the shower with large arms wrapped around me. I glanced back to see Jacob in his boxers, rinsing me off as gently as he could as I let out a confused whine. He glanced at me and pressed a kiss to my head, muttering that everything was okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case you skipped this chapter, here's what happened:
> 
> -Daisy wakes up in a bedroom in a bunker to lots of commotion outside, but Jacob, John and Joseph aren't with her. She gets up and searches for them, asking Peggies where they are but getting completely ignored like she doesn't even exist, which she finds odd. Eventually she finds Jacob, who tells her "sinners" got in, which she thinks means her friends.  
> -He leads her to Joseph and John through the chaos and they tell her that when Burke left, he went straight to Missoula and brought everything to the attention of the FBI and his fellow officers at the National Guard, so they were the ones trying to get into the bunker.   
> -Joseph wants Jacob to keep her safe, so they go back to the room she woke up in and Jacob keeps guard over the door in case anyone tried to get in.   
> -After three hours, everything dies down so Jacob and Daisy go out to investigate.  
> -While Jacob's up ahead, a man in an FBI jacket grabs Daisy and gets very violent with her - when Jacob tries to stop him, the man tells him he'll kill Daisy if he doesn't drop his weapon. He uses a knife on her and then he tries to sexually assault her.  
> -John shoots the man in the head and Joseph pulls him off her while Daisy weeps in Joseph's arms. She's reminded of her time in the Army, when she was previously assaulted, and starts to have a panic attack.   
> -Jacob helps her cover herself and gives her his jacket, and she passes out.  
> -She wakes up in pain, and she hears the brothers discussing the fact that her body temperature is too high. She passes out and wakes up again as they're inspecting her wounds. She passes out and wakes up one more time in a cold shower with Jacob holding her. He kisses her head and tells her everything's going to be okay before she passes out again.
> 
> Thanks for reading thus far!!


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's mentions of previous abuse (nothing graphic) and mentions of previous attempted suicide (again, nothing graphic). It's nothing too bad (in my opinion), but if anyone ends up wanting to skip the chapter, let me know and I'll add notes in the end with the summary of the chapter (as I've done previously). Enjoy!

I woke up again to my stomach growling loudly, as if it were begging me for food. My energy felt so drained but my mind could recollect everything that had happened over the past couple...days? Weeks? 

I felt a body next to me and I rolled over to see Joseph, sound asleep. I snuggled closer to him under the covers, cold as all hell and desperate to soak up his body heat. He stirred and looked down at me with sleepy eyes before he pulled me closer to himself, pressing a deep kiss to my lips. 

“I was so worried about you.”

I kissed him again. “What happened?”

“Your wounds were infected.”

“I’m starving.”

He helped me get out of bed and wrapped me up in sweatpants and a sweatshirt due to the fact that I was still shivering. Of course, a bunker wasn’t going to be warm but it felt like I was still under the freezing cold water with Jacob. Joseph led me down many confusing hallways until we finally came upon a small kitchen, where John was sitting at a small table drinking what I assumed to be coffee. His eyes met mine and lit up, and he stood and pulled me into an embrace.

“I was so scared, Daisy,” he muttered into my hair. 

I frowned at how kind he was acting; it didn’t seem like John to me. But I suppose I never gave him cause to worry about my well being, and I remembered the way he acted that night at the Spread Eagle, at his ranch... 

Joseph began to make breakfast while John asked me how I felt. Breakfast, of course, was canned beans but Joseph put them in a bowl so I at least could pretend it was chili or something more delicious. My stomach didn’t care much, though, and I devoured the beans quickly. Joseph gave me a bottle of water and I downed that too.

About twenty minutes later, Faith and Jacob joined us. They looked serious and so did John as Joseph took his seat at the table. He looked at each one of us for a little longer than normal. Faith and Jacob asked how I was doing, and Jacob’s hand didn’t leave my back as he muttered apologies for not doing more to help me when the man attacked me. I shushed his apologies, and told him there was nothing to be sorry for whatsoever. He kept his hand where it was and I leaned into his touch.

The brothers and Faith gave updates on their bunkers, which they all could reach through long tunnels at the very lowest points of each of their bunkers. They talked about security, the amount of followers that are still alive, water, firearm count, all the things I found that I didn’t really care about. My brain was still a little fuzzy from everything that happened, and the only thing I was listening for is an update on my friends. I hoped Faith hadn’t drugged them against their will. 

_ Finally _ , she filled Joseph in on my friends. “Most of the Resistance is in my bunker, the Whitetail Militia are in Jacob’s. Those in my bunker have been kind, easy going and thankful that we opened up for them, so we haven’t needed to tie them up or make sure they can’t hurt anyone,” Faith says. “The Rye’s are in John’s, as they didn’t want their newborn baby around the Bliss. From what I’ve heard, John’s been treating them well.”

“Of course. They have a spacious room with access to all the baby items they’ll need,” John said. “They’ve been quiet and haven’t left the room very much.”

“And the Whitetails, Jacob?” Joseph asked.

“They obviously proved to be a bit hostile when they arrived so we have them tied up for the time being but they have beds, we give them food, water...they’re not really being treated like prisoners, more like patients in a hospital who need to be chained to their bed.”

“That’s not gonna help,” I said. Jacob looked at me with a raised eyebrow.

“What do you suggest we do, honey? Let ‘em loose so they can wreak havoc and kill everyone?”

“No, keep them guarded. But don’t keep their hands bound. Give them some sort of freedom. I mean, they’re just going to get more angry with you if you treat them like that. If you trust them and give them some sort of freedom, they’ll likely start to trust you.”

Joseph watched me speak with a proud smile on his face, and he put his hand on my back just under Jacob’s. “Daisy’s right. Start giving them privileges. If they don’t behave, put them back in handcuffs on their beds.”

Jacob nodded, mostly at me. 

“What else is there to discuss?” John asked.

“Can I see my friends?” I piped up.

“Of course, love. But later. We have another important matter to discuss,” Joseph said as he rubbed small circles on my neck with his thumb.“You.”

“What?” I asked. 

“As you know, the time has come for our marriage to expand and include my brothers. It doesn’t have to start right away, of course. Whenever you feel comfortable, they’ll wait for you to initiate any intimacy. But there will be no one’s seed inside you aside from mine, understood? Not until you’ve given birth to our child.”

“Okay.” I drew the word out as I felt my cheeks turn red with embarrassment. 

I couldn’t look at any of them. And the fact that Faith was there made things ten times more awkward. Couldn’t we have talked about it at a later time when she was gone? Fucking Seeds are insufferable.

“In terms of our flock, they are not to speak to you or look at you.”

My mind flashed back to the Peggie that wouldn’t answer me when I asked him where my husband was. It made sense then but I wasn’t sure as to why that was even a rule. Why did it matter? 

“Why not, Joseph?” Faith asked, as if she could read my exact thoughts.

Joseph sighed and leaned back in his chair. “Daisy needs to remain pure. I’d love to think our followers wouldn’t do anything sinful but we cannot read minds. If they look at her, especially after several years down under ground, there could be trouble. So Daisy, you will stay in a secluded area of the bunker and will talk to your friends while on the other side of a wall so they do not see you. They will come to you always, you are never to leave your area.”

“So my friends can’t even look at me?” 

“No.”

I rolled my eyes. “I don’t like this fucking rule.”

“Language,” Joseph breathed, as if he was willing himself to be patient with the oncoming storm he could sense brewing in my belly.

“It’s creepy, Joseph,” I replied. “I mean, yes, this whole arrangement I signed up for is pretty creepy and weird. But I don’t like the idea of being secluded for how long? Seven years? No way, Joseph. No fucking way. I’m not doing that. If you make me, I’m gonna get the hell outta this bunker and let myself die from whatever is going on up above us.”

The room went silent and John and Jacob looked impressed. Faith nodded her head in agreement. Joseph took his glasses off his face and ran his hands down, frustrated.

“You don’t have a say in this, Daisy,” he said. “The Voice told me what needed to be done.”

“You can’t just keep me locked up like some sex slave!” I stood and ignored the dizziness and nausea I felt immediately with the movement. “I won’t let you keep me in some little room so each of you can visit me and fuck me and then just leave me there. It’s too weird!”

My breath started to come in too quick for my lungs to keep up with. The dizziness intensified and I felt my throat closing up. Joseph sounded far away as he responded to me, and I wondered if that was how I die - arguing over whether or not I would be kept like some sex slave or something. Before I knew it, the world turned lopsided and I felt myself dropping through air. Arms caught me but my lungs couldn’t take in enough oxygen. My heart pounded so hard and so loud that it was the only thing I was fully aware of, other than the fact I couldn’t breathe. Tears blurred my vision and I felt like I was dying. I survived the apocalypse but didn’t make it very far. 

A touch on my neck brought me back down to reality and I felt my pulse start to slow down. I realized I was sitting, and I looked ahead of myself to see Jacob’s vibrant blue eyes gazing back at me with concern. 

“What happened?” I muttered.

“I think you had a panic attack,” he replied. 

He handed me a glass of water and I took it, muttering a thank you. I realized the rest of the family, including my husband, were gone. I asked where they went. 

“Joseph heard the Voice so he ran to the bedroom and Jacob and Faith left me to take care of you. They’ve got a lot going on in their bunkers, as you may have guessed.”

“Oh,” was all I could say back.

“For the record, I think it’d be ridiculous for Joseph to do that to you,” Jacob said, his eyes sparkling with honesty. 

“Me, too,” I replied. “Hence the panic attack.” 

I finished the water and Jacob took the empty glass from my hand before he walked with me to my room to check on Joseph, where we found John pacing outside of the room. I could hear Joseph crying out and praying loudly, and I knew better than to go in there and disturb him. John muttered to Jacob about something, probably updating him on Joseph, before Jacob turned to me and said he had stuff to do around his bunker. He squeezed my shoulder and told me he’d see me later. 

“Can I spend the day with you?” I asked John after Jacob left. 

John raised his eyebrows in surprise but agreed, and we walked through the connecting tunnel to his bunker, where he ordered his men around and did his daily tasks. I ended up with him in his office. I sat on his desk and kicked my feet, uncertain what to do or what I should talk about. Things hadn’t been the same between us after everything that happened, but I missed him. 

He took me to his room, where he sat down to do work. I noticed he managed to bring books and things with him. My leg still throbbed in pain so I sat down on the bed and watched him work.

After a while he joined me and I feel my gut twist uncomfortably as he began to kiss me. “We can be together now,” he said against my lips as he pulled me into an embrace.

“John…” I said, tears welling up in my eyes. I couldn’t help but flash back to the police man on top of me, trying to touch me, stabbing me. “I can’t... _ John _ !”

He pulled away from me with wide eyes and almost looked hurt for a moment before he realized I was crying. “Shit. Daisy. I’m so sorry.” He pulled me in for a hug and I cried into his shirt. “Shh. It’s okay. That guy’s dead and gone. No one’s gonna hurt you now.”

He held me while I cried for a while. I muttered a few things, when my voice wasn’t broken up with sobs. I tried to talk about it but found I just didn’t have the stomach to do so. I felt physically ill any time I thought about it, but I couldn’t stop my mind from going back to that moment, from wondering what might have happened if Joseph and John hadn’t got there in time to stop him.

I remembered the feeling of his blood seeping over me. The wicked look in his eye. The way I wanted to die so much at that moment, how his touch brought back memories from the Army. 

When I calmed down, John got me some water and I sipped it quietly while he rubbed my back. 

“I’m sorry,” I said. 

“Don’t be.”

“I just…” I shuddered as I spoke. “I can’t seem to escape that.”

“I know.”

“Joseph told you?” I asked, looking into his eyes. 

“A bit. When he did, I felt so guilty for doing what I did to you that night at his compound. I had no idea. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay.”

“Do you want to talk about it, sweetheart?” 

He sounded so genuine, so vulnerable. I glanced over at him and my heart panged as I took in his expression, ready to listen to my troubles and be there for me in any way that he could. I cuddled up into his embrace and he laid back against the wall, cradling me in his lap.

“It was a buddy of mine who I thought cared about me. I was so scared and I just let it happen because I was worried about what everyone else would say. And then it just kept happening and when I finally talked about it, nothing happened. I was just...sent home. No one took me seriously, no one cared. It sucked.” 

My voice was shaking and I felt so ashamed. I hated that part of my past. I wished I could’ve been smarter, not so naive. 

“My mom handled it poorly, too. She got pregnant with me at 15 but still had the audacity to act all holy holy. She told me I was going to hell almost every day after I got back. And I thought nothing could be worse than this. I’ll take Hell if it means I get away from all this. That’s when I started drinking to cope with things. I got wasted in the trailer on moonshine just trying to drink myself to death. I hated everyone, especially all the girls that got to live a normal life...and then, when my mother died and my siblings cut me out of her will, I gave up. I tried to kill myself. And when I woke up in the hospital, alone, I figured I needed to turn my life around. So I moved to Montana, as far away from Ohio as I could get.”

John listened to the whole story silently as he ran his fingers up and down my bare arms in a soothing manner. “I’m so sorry,” he said. I turned to look at him and he kissed me gently. “Thank you for sharing that with me.”

I saw the tears in his eyes and I pressed my forehead to his, a gesture I’d seen him and his brothers do multiple times. He let the tears fall and I let mine fall, too. I never expected to see John fucking Seed weep, especially after hearing someone else’s life story of pain, but there I was. 

After a couple hours, he brought me back to the bedroom that I shared with Joseph, who looked distraught when he saw me and swept me up into his arms a moment later.

“I’m sorry,” he muttered into my hair. 

I said goodbye to John and fell asleep on Joseph’s chest, feeling safe despite all the terrible chaos that happened over the past 24 hours.


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SMUT AHEAD! ;)

Over the next few weeks, I noticed that John and Jacob started acting differently with me. They both touched me a little more than necessary, and John’s gaze was akin to someone starving who just got to look at food for the first time in months but not actually eat it. I would feel frightened, given any other circumstance. But I knew he wouldn’t hurt me, not after everything that had happened. 

They helped me when my leg was hurting, and spent a lot more time with me than they had before. None of them, including my husband, tried anything and I was very thankful for that. I wondered if John talked to them and told them about the story I told him. I wasn’t sure but I didn’t really care, so long as everyone let me be until I felt comfortable and safe having sex again. 

It took almost a month for me to feel back to my regular self, and even then, all I wanted was soft love making with Joseph. He was gentle with me, treating me like a china doll. Normally, it would bother me, but I appreciated him checking in with me during every phase of sex to make sure I was okay. He asked if I wanted to stop when he could sense that something was wrong, and the times that I said yes, he stopped everything and immediately pulled me into his arms to calm me. 

I felt safe. Comfortable. I knew, with him at least, that I could stop at any point and he wouldn’t be angry with me or get violent. The thought of having sex with anyone other than him scared me, so we talked about it when I felt overwhelmed. He insisted that I did not have to do anything I did not want to do. But I did love John, and I loved Jacob too. But Joseph assured me I could take as much time as I needed.

One morning, a month later, I woke up and felt like I was ready to fulfill my purpose. Joseph smiled and asked me if I was certain before he led me to a room that he’d set aside for me to use for “meetings” with his brothers. He insisted that nothing we did there was required to be sexual. It was a spacious room filled with plenty of things to do including books, knick knacks, and paper with colored pencils, paint and brushes, should I feel inspired. 

“You don’t need to sleep here, either,” he said. “Our bed is always open to you.”

Jacob was the first one to come visit me there. He didn’t try to do anything, which I was grateful for. He just sat with me and talked to me. He even brought some Oreo cookies and a bottle of wine he snuck from one of the kitchen areas (and another board game, because of course). 

John visited the next day, and it was the first time I had been truly alone with him when he wasn’t distracted by work and I wasn’t feeling overwhelmed with pain and trauma. He somehow managed to save a record player and brought some old music for me to listen to, for which I was extremely grateful. I couldn’t imagine sitting down there listening to nothing but cult songs for seven years. We turned on a Beatles album and listened to “Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds” quietly for a little while.

I was unsure what to do or say. “I’m sorry I got your ass kicked,” I piped up after a while. “I never got the chance to tell you that.”

“I’ve had worse,” he replied and I nearly winced. “Plus it wasn't your fault. I could’ve stopped you if I wanted to. Don’t tell Joseph, but it was worth it.”

I nodded. “It was, wasn’t it?” I asked, a smile decorating my lips as I looked up at him, sitting on the top of my small desk. 

Before I knew it, his lips were on mine and he was pulling me flush against him, standing over me as I moaned into the kiss. I deepened the kiss almost immediately, and he pulled back to make sure I was okay.

“Yeah,” I replied. “I want this, want you.”

“Do you know how hard it is to look at you without picturing you coming on your own fingers?” John growled. “Every time I see you, I want to thrust my cock inside you and make you mine.”

I moaned as he hissed the words against my neck and opened my legs wider so he could fit between them. I felt like a mess already, I was desperate to feel his tongue and fingers all over my naked body. A shudder ran though me as I thought of him fucking me right there, hard against the desk. I wanted him to bruise me, mark me as his. A whimper escaped me as he pulled my tank top off along with my bra, kneading my breasts and sucking on my neck.

“J-John,” I whined. “Please.”

He moaned against my neck as he thrust up against me. “You sound so fucking pretty when you beg me like that.”

He pulled my pants off me quickly and immediately got onto his knees, determined to finish the job he couldn’t back at his ranch all those nights ago. It felt like almost an eternity since I was there. His tongue licked me everywhere - my thighs, my pussy lips, my abdomen. Avoiding anywhere but the place I wanted him the most. 

“Please, John,” I whimpered as my hips bucked up against him, desperate to feel his tongue on my clit. 

He puts his hands on my hips to still my movements and I let out a huff at the restriction.

“Patience is a virtue,” he said, his lips twisted into a mischievous smile. 

He teased me for what felt like hours before he even touched my clit. By the end of it, I was a needy, soaking mess. His eyes were nearly black with lust and I felt like I might have started sobbing if he didn’t give me what I needed. 

“Please, John. I need your mouth, please, please,  _ please _ !” I begged. 

He smirked up at me before he licked from my entrance to my clit in the lightest stroke that it felt like a feather. I let out a sob, so fucking desperate for friction at that point. I could tell he was enjoying himself, but it was clear he was having a hard time keeping it together. He palmed his cock through his pants as he watched me writhe against his face, trying to get more friction.

The tortuously light licks continued for five more minutes before he finally got rougher. I nearly screamed at the feeling. My words were reduced to babbling and cursing, my hand wrapped tightly in his dark hair. I felt myself getting close to the edge, ready to fall off.

“Fuck, John, I’m gonna com-”

He pulled away from me and I nearly screamed. “Not yet,” he said. “Not until I say so.”

“Please!” I begged. 

I wondered if anyone could hear me or if Joseph had the sense to soundproof the room before letting me use it as my sex room. If not, I was way too loud and the entire bunker would know how much of a sinner I really was. Not that I minded, though...

John stood up and I spread my legs further, desperate to feel him between them. “You come on my fucking cock, you got that?” he asked harshly. “And you’ll only come when I tell you.” I nodded furiously, desperate for my aching pussy to get some relief. “That’s a good girl.”

I gasped as he unbuckled his pants and pulled his cock out from its restraints in his boxers. He knew I was soaking and desperate to feel him inside me for the first time, so he lined himself up with my entrance and teased for a moment before he pushed in with little to no gentleness. He didn’t wait for me to get accustomed to the full feeling and started a harsh pace immediately. He reached further than Joseph did and for a moment it was almost painful, but the pain was delicious. 

I held onto him for dear life and pulled him flush against me so I could press my lips to his. I moaned as his shirt rubbed against my bare and sensitive nipples while he bit my neck, marking me as his. 

“Fuck, John,” I growled. “ _ John… _ ”

“Don’t come until I give you permission,” he ordered, as if he could sense the tension within me ready to burst. I let out a frustrated noise. “If you do, you’ll be punished.”

“I’m…” I moaned as his fingers found their way to my sensitive clit. “I’m so close, John. Please!”

“ _ Wait _ ,” he commanded as he wrapped his free hand around my throat in warning. 

The feeling of his hand around my neck caused my pussy to clench around him and I placed my hand over his, encouraging him to squeeze tighter. His breath hitched and a wicked grin spread across his mouth as he obliged until the edges of my vision got just a touch blurry.

I clenched my muscles, tried as hard as I could to push the oncoming orgasm back for as long as possible. It was a struggle, especially with his fingers on my clit doing a marvelous job. 

“Please,” I begged.

“Doesn’t seem like you want it,” he said dismissively. 

“Please, John.  _ Please _ . Please let me come. I’m so close, I  _ need  _ to come. I need it so bad. I wanna come all over your cock. Please, I’ll do anything.  _ Anything _ , John!”

I wasn’t sure I could hold off, the pleasure was so intense. I was already seeing stars and I let out a sob as I continued to beg. 

“Good girl,” he growled against my neck as he moved to look into my eyes before he rested his forehead against mine. “Come on my cock. Make a fucking mess like the dirty little slut you are.”

I screamed as I allowed the coil within me come undone. My walls clenched around his cock as I clung to him, my nails digging deep into his skin. He lost the facade of control he had earlier, his moans started to match my own as his hips thrust rapidly and sloppily, losing all rhythm and going straight into madness. 

“Fuck, Daisy. Fuck, fuck,” he shouted. “I’m gonna come.” 

He pulled out of me and tugged hard on his cock while I watched with wide eyes, my pussy still clenching around emptiness. He looked at me as he came, eyes wide before he shut them in a look of absolute pleasure as he continued to fist his cock as his seed spurted out and onto my stomach. A choked moan crawled up my throat as I looked at the mess on my body. I ran my fingers through it and smiled up at him before I stuck them in my mouth and sucked his seed down my throat.

“Good girl,” he growled with a kiss on my neck as he pet my hair. “Clean yourself up for me.”

Afterward, we took a moment to come down with our highs, collapsed together on the bed in a tangle of sweaty limbs. I looked up at him with a smirk on my lips as our breathing finally slowed.

“That was...fucking amazing,” I told him. He leaned down and kissed me deeply. 

“You look so pretty with my marks on you,” he observed after we pulled apart.

His fingers danced over the bruises I know that he left on my neck and chest. His lips followed close behind and I mewled as he licked and kissed the wounds. For a moment, I wondered if I really would give him anything and everything he ever asked for.


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More smut! ;) Enjoy!

John fucked me again almost an hour later, on the bed with me riding his cock while he choked me. I came without his permission and he rolled me onto my back so he could smack my clit and finish on my stomach. He denied me another orgasm and I filed that away for later. Obedience was clearly something he valued, and disobedience would be met with punishment. 

“Shit,” I muttered as we relaxed back into the messy bed sheets. “I gotta shower. Joseph wants me back for dinner.”

John let out a groan and I turned to him with an eyebrow raised as he tried to pull me back against him. “He gets you all the time. You can be late.”

“That’s a terrible idea.”

“We’re not doing anything wrong, sweetheart.” 

He pulled me back and ravished me with kisses. I pushed my body up into his wandering hands, desperate for his touch again and feeling heat pool in my belly.

“John, I have to go.” 

He reluctantly let me stand and I made my way to the shower, already naked. I was washing my hair when he came into the shower with me, his cock already hard and ready. 

“John, we don’t-”

“I think you have time for at least two orgasms before I send you back into my brother’s arms,” he said as his hands wandered below my waist. I gasped as he ran a finger over my sensitive clit and he chuckled at the sound. “See? I knew you were soaking.”

He fucked me against the shower wall, but he didn’t make me beg, nor did he deny my anything. I came hard on his cock and wondered how the hell he managed to reach spots inside of me to make me come without any stimulation to my clit. He brought me to another orgasm quickly after that when he somehow managed to reach his hand between my legs and rub the over-sensitive nub with his fingers.

After we cleaned up and I changed into a cute dress, he took my hand and led me to mine and Joseph’s bedroom. Joseph was waiting for me and I realized with a relieved breath that I was just on time. He glanced at my neck with a raised eyebrow and watched as John kissed my lips passionately before departing. 

“How was your day?” he asked as he served me heated beans and rice. I didn’t realize how hungry I was until the smell of them hit my nose and I took a large bite right away. 

“Good,” I replied. 

Joseph placed his hand on my neck as his thumb gently ran over the love bites that littered my pale skin.“Is he too rough with you?” 

“No,” I replied as I felt a blush creep up on my cheeks.

“If either of them do something you don’t like, you can always tell me.”

“I can tell them, too.”

“I know,” he said with a smile as he placed a kiss on my cheek and sat down before he served himself from the pan. “I just want to make sure you’re happy.”

“Thank you,” I said with a smile. “I am.”

“Good.”

“How was your day?” I asked. 

Joseph told me about his day - how he did his rounds to visit each of the bunkers and talk to his flock. He said he saw my friends and told me how they were doing. They apparently were very compliant and were not fighting against his brothers or Faith, and that they seemed relatively happy. I hoped to God that was true, and that Faith, John or Jacob weren’t treating them poorly at all. My heart ached at the thought of them and I felt desperate to see them for a moment. 

“I also talked with Jacob. He convinced me to allow you to wander as you please. I wasn’t keen on the idea of you being stuck here and hiding yourself, Daisy. Please know that. I want you to be your own person and live the best you can in this bunker. It was what the Voice told me. But Jacob reminded me that sometimes I don’t fully understand what God is telling me, so I prayed on it and I don’t see any harm in it.”

“Really?” I was shocked by the change in his tone and attitude.

“Yes. Jacob also mentioned that I needed to work on my possessiveness of you, especially since you’ll be spending time with him and John.”

“Probably a good idea,” I replied softly. “It can just get confusing when you tell me one thing and then react another way.”

“I understand. I’m sorry. I’ll work on it.”

We resumed eating and I finished my bowl relatively quickly. He cleared the dishes and washed them before he turned to me and kissed me deeply, almost as if he was asking if I was up for another round with him. 

I felt heat stirring inside of me again so I kissed him back and deepened it by running my tongue across his lower lip. He opened his mouth to me with a moan as he pulled me against him, and his hand slipped under my dress to grope my ass. I sighed as he lifted me and brought me to the bed.

When he got me naked, he traced the bruises and marks left by his baby brother. “My, my. John sure seems territorial,” he said with a chuckle.

I laughed and shrugged. “Doesn’t mean you can’t mark me, too.”

Joseph smirked at me and suckled the side of my breast, which caused me to writhe and moan under him as he made his mark on me. He continued to do it everywhere, as if he wanted more marks than John had given me, as if he wanted more claim over me. I couldn’t say that I minded very much. 

“This is mine,” he growled as he licked the skin just under my belly button. “I can’t wait to see you round and ripe with our child.”

I gasped as he pressed his fingers to my drenched center. He fingered me for a while, preparing me. I was grateful for the slightly slower pace after my busy afternoon with John. Once I was ready, he thrust into me and allowed me to adjust before he pulled out and did the same thing again. 

“Joseph,” I whined. “More.”

“Aren’t you a greedy one,” he muttered into my ear as he bit my earlobe, which caused me to arch my back as goosebumps traveled down my neck. 

“Yes, Father,” I moaned. He growled at the title and thrust even harder, which gave me the exact pace I want. His fingers found my clit and I felt myself rapidly approaching my end.

“Come for me, my child,” he said. 

“Father,” I whined. “Please.”

“What do you need?” he asked, his breathing labored as my pussy clenched around his cock.

“Come inside me,” I begged. “Make me yours. Fill me up.  _ Please _ .”

He came almost instantly and I followed mere seconds later at the feeling of his seed shooting into my womb. After we calmed down for a moment, he pulled out of me and I gasped as his fingers pushed inside my entrance, as if to keep all his spend inside. 

“You are going to look so beautiful carrying our child,” he said as he collapsed on the bed next to me. “I can’t wait.”

“Me neither,” I replied, a smile on my face.

“I should keep you here, tied up, waiting all day for me to come back and fill you up again and again until it takes.”

I gasped at the visual and he glanced at me with a raised eyebrow. “I would not be opposed to that idea.”

“Good to know, love,” he replied, a smile on his face and a vague, far off look in his eyes. “You would look so good tied up for me.”

“I’ll do anything for you, Father,” I replied as I leaned up to kiss him. 

I couldn’t help imagining the idea of him tying me up and keeping me in his bed all day, waiting for his seed over and over again. The mere thought made my knees weak.


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO. MUCH. SMUT. AHEAD.

I awoke to the feeling of fingers working my clit and the first thing I noticed was how wet I was. For a brief moment, I felt panic rush through me, but I heard Joseph murmur my name and I relaxed and remembered that I gave him permission a while ago to play with me while I slept, or wake me up with it. He just hadn’t acted on it up until that point. 

I moaned as he rubbed my clit and pressed kisses to my neck. I thrust against his fingers and felt my end rapidly approaching. How long had he played with me before I woke up? I was already so wet and needy. I came moments later and he smiled against my neck. As I came down from my high, he rolled me onto my back so I could look up into his beautiful blue eyes. 

“Are you ready, Daisy?”

I nodded, and my heart pounded against my chest with excitement. He moved me so I was on my stomach, with my knees tucked under me and my ass up in the air, before he instructed me to stretch out my arms in front of me. When I did what he asked, he tied a rope around each of my wrists and tied the ropes to the bedposts. He had me test the bonds to make sure I could get out if I pulled hard enough, and when he was satisfied with it, he kissed each of my hands before he tied my ankles together and kept them under my body.

“Please know, if at any point you want this to stop, that’s okay,” he said. “Why don’t you pick a safe word?” 

“Sure,” I replied. “How about...apple.”

“Apple it is,” he said with a kiss to my hair.

“Thanks, Joseph,” I replied. 

He ran his hand down my spine to my dripping pussy, which he brushed over teasingly before he tied the binds of my ankles to the bed as well, which left me fully exposed and dripping wet. He asked if I was fine with a blindfold and I told him yes, and after he placed it over me, I heard him take a step back to admire his work. A moan came from his direction and I felt my cheeks heat up. 

He spent an hour licking my pussy until I nearly came undone three times. Then he fucked me roughly and came inside of me, but did not let me come on his cock. He worked me up again with his fingers after he pulled out of me, but still denied me an orgasm, despite how much I begged him for it. 

Suddenly, he stood and said that he had to do a sermon for his flock and meet with his siblings before he could return back to me. “I’ll be thinking of you, tied up and helpless like this, while I preach to my children,” he growled, and I swore that I could come just from that thought alone if I tried hard enough. “Imagine if my brothers saw you like this, tied up and dripping with my seed.”

“Joseph,” I whimpered as a shiver coursed through my body. I tried so hard to pull my legs together and get some sort of friction on my cunt, but the ropes held steady. 

“Someone likes that idea, don’t they?” He teased as he gently rubbed my clit so lightly it was as if a feather was ghosting over me. He chuckled as he left the room and paused in the doorway, as if he was getting one last delicious view of my ass and pussy before I heard the door close.

I waited for him to return for what felt like hours. At a certain point, I lost all semblance of time and I wondered how long he planned to leave me like that. 

Sometime later, someone came in to give me water. I wondered if it was John or Jacob, because they did not speak. Would Joseph had taken my arousal at the idea as my consent to let them in? I hoped so. The thought of them seeing me so helpless made me drip. I would feel embarrassed if I wasn’t so desperate. Whoever was in the room with me touched me, their hands ghosting over my back, my ass, my thighs and then finally brushing against my pussy, but they left before I could get any real friction. 

It happened a few more times before I asked who it was the next time the door opened. All I got was a smack on the ass and another drink of water, but a finger worked its way into my mouth and I moaned around it as I sucked it greedily and took it deep within my throat. It was too big of a hand to belong to John or Joseph, and the skin was rougher than theirs. I whined as I realized it was Jacob, and he took the finger from my mouth and ran it over my messy entrance.

“J-Jacob,” I moaned. “Fuck, please make me come, _please_.”

All I got was a smack on my ass, followed by three more. I was whimpering by the time his hand rubbed at the probably very red skin, and it drove me nuts that he hadn’t even gone further than kissing me but he was seeing me like this. After one more spank, he left and I almost wanted to cry. 

The sixth time someone came in, I didn’t get any water. Instead, fingers brushed over the bare skin of my bake and I let out a moan as I strained for the touch. 

“Joseph,” I whined. “Please.”

There was no response, a moment’s pause, and I wondered for a moment if it was not my husband in the room with me. Panic set in for a brief second. What if it was one of the Peggies who found their way into his room? What if I was stuck, at the mercy of someone whose family I killed when I was still trying to save Hope County from the Seed family and their “cult”? 

Fingers drifted down my ass to my thighs and spread me open. A low moan escaped my lips at the touch and I tried desperately to move against the hand, my pussy aching.

“So ready for me,” Joseph’s voice murmured into my ear. 

I let out a breath I hadn’t realized I was holding and for a moment, I felt silly. There was no way Joseph would ever let anyone other than his brothers near the room where I was tied up and waiting for him like the dirty little slut I was. 

“So wet.”

“ _ Father _ ,” I whined. I felt his body tremble as his hands moved to my thighs and I whimpered in protest. 

“Did you just love being tied up like this for me? Knowing I was thinking about you the entire time I was gone?”

“Yes.” It was a fucking miracle I could even talk, honestly. 

He ran his hands all over my body. He pinched and flicked my nipples, and scraped his nails down my back before he paid attention to the area I needed him most. 

“Did you enjoy your visitors?” he asked. “Did you like having John and Jacob see how good you are for me, how obedient? How full you were with my seed?”

Heat flared up on my cheeks at the degradation of how much I had enjoyed having hands touching me all day, how much I’d loved being so spread out for his brothers, so humiliated, my kinks shamelessly on display for them to see. I couldn’t help but hope that maybe Jacob would  _ finally  _ fuck me after seeing me like that. I wondered if he went straight back to his room after seeing me like that hard as a rock, and got himself off as he thought about me. The mere idea of  _ that  _ made my pussy pulse with excitement.

“Y-yes,” I stuttered at the feeling of his hands running up my bare thighs.

Joseph suddenly devoured my pussy with his mouth and I tried my best to grind against the wet pressure of his tongue as it dove between my folds and explored me. He moaned about how wet I was, the combination of myself and him on his tongue. I couldn’t even think straight, the pain in my arms and legs and back grew nearly invisible as I got lost in the pleasure of his mouth on my aching, desperate, needy pussy. 

I came twice before Joseph let up. He gently smacked my ass as he stood before he placed his hands on my hips. I heard his pants unzipping but felt the fabric of them against my thighs as he pressed into me. The thought of him fully clothed and fucking me, so bare and vulnerable for him, made me clench around his cock. 

He fucked me hard, muttering dirty things into my ear the entire time. 

“You’re perfect,” he said and I moaned in response, any sense of language gone from me in that moment. “You’re going to look so beautiful, full and heavy with our child.”

He fucked me as he usually did, mostly gentle, but with a twinge of roughness. It excited me to no end and I came around him without much stimulation, which caused him to thrust harder and wilder into me as he approached his own end. 

When he came inside me , the feeling of him filling me up tipped me over the edge yet again. 

~

Once we both caught our breath, Joseph untied me gently and went to the bathroom to grab some aloe and lotion. I whimpered as I moved my limbs to adjust them to their freedom and he pulled me gently into his lap as he kissed my sweaty forehead. 

He applied the lotion and aloe to my wrists and ankles, which were red and swollen from the ropes. I was still a whining mess, every touch heightened after my nerves had been on fire all day. My eyes took a moment to adjust to the light when he took the blindfold off me, and I buried my face into his neck as he finished treating the rope burn. 

“You were so perfect like that,” he whispered as I continued to make sweet little noises in his lap, clinging to him desperately. “I love you so much, Daisy.”

He kissed my head and I looked up at him, squinting. “Thank you,” I eked out. 

He chuckled and after he finished with my ankles, he stood to turn the lights off and I sighed as my eyes immediately felt relief. He sat up against the back of the bed and pulled me to him.

“Was that good for you, Daisy?” he asked after a moment of soft cuddles. “I want to make sure it was okay.”

I nodded. “It was…” I sighed. “I just…”

“I know,” he replied, tucking my head under his chin. “You did so well today.” 

The praise made my empty pussy clench and I sighed into him, breathing his scent. “Thank you.” 

“I love you.”


	21. Chapter 21

John, Jacob and Faith were all sitting around the table eating breakfast when Joseph and I arrived the next morning. My legs and arms were still extremely sore from the day before, but that had nothing to do with why I nearly begged Joseph to let me stay in bed for breakfast. It was the fact that I couldn’t even look Jacob or John in the eye after the display they saw yesterday. 

I didn’t mind that they saw me like that. In fact, I fucking loved it. John knew most of my kinks already, but Jacob didn’t and suddenly he had a much better idea. The only issue was being able to face them in a normal social situation, such as family breakfast, in the light of day.  _ Artificial  _ light, yes, but  _ still _ . 

Jacob had the tiniest smirk on his face as we walked in, and John looked at me with a hungry expression and a wolfish grin on his face. Faith, as usual, was oblivious. She was humming some cult song and weaving Bliss flowers together into a crown. Joseph kept his hand on my back as he led me to the cabinet, where he pulled out some cereal that was still good and filled up a bowl with it and poured milk over it for me. 

I sat between Jacob and my husband, my gaze solely focused on the cereal because every time I looked at Jacob, he was watching me. John sat across from me, next to Faith. He watched me eat my cereal with that same goddamn grin on his face. 

“Daisy!” Faith exclaimed as I was just about to eat another bite of cereal. My hand froze, the spoon at the ready, my mouth open. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” I replied. “I’m great. Why?”

“What happened to your arms?” 

I glanced at the rope burn that decorated my wrists and John barked out a laugh that he disguised as a cough. I set the spoon back into the bowl.

“It’s nothing. Just a rash.”

“It’s so red and irritated,” Faith said as she reached out to touch it. I hissed as her fingers danced over it. “Here.” She reached into a small bag and pulled out what looked like lotion. “Bliss balm should help with the pain.”

As she rubbed the balm over my wrists, I felt the pain instantly go away and I even started to relax. I could tell I had a dopey smile on my face as I finally gained the courage to look at Jacob, who was in conversation with Joseph but had his eyes on me. 

“There!” Faith said as she finished up before she capped the container and put it back in her small bag. “You might feel a little...lighter. Side effect of the balm. But it should be healed in a day or so.”

“Thanks, Faith,” I said. 

I turned to look at Jacob, who was talking to Joseph and wasn’t as distracted as John had been earlier, so I poked him on the shoulder, which he ignored. So I continued to poke him on the shoulder, because he needed to pay attention to me, dammit. 

“Jacob,” I said when he continued to ignore me. “Jake. Jakey. J-money. J-baby. Jacob ‘the wolf’ Seed. Jay. J-Dog. Ooh! Yes, that’s absolutely what I’m gonna call you now.”

“What, Daisy?” His expression one of pure annoyance. “And no, you’re not gonna call me that.”

“J-Dog.” I giggled as I poked him again. 

“Whaddya want?”

“Hi.”

He let out a sigh as he rested his head in his hand and shot a glance to Joseph. “She always like this on the Bliss?”

“Like what?” Joseph asked, heavily focused on discussing something with John.

“A fucking brat,” Jacob replied as he looked back at me.

I stuck my tongue out at him. “Not my fault you’re a party pooper, old man.”

I glanced at Joseph and John, who were beyond amused as they watched me. Jacob took a breath, as if willing himself to be patient. “We’re having an important conversation, Daisy.”

“But J-Dog-”

“Nope. Stop calling me that.”

“No can do, J-Dog.”

“Daisy, I swear…”

“No swearing!” 

“Faith,” he turned to his adopted sister. “What the hell?”

“I didn’t know she’d be like this,” Faith said with a shrug. “Everyone reacts to the balm differently.”

“Well, she’s getting on my last nerve.” He looked at me again as I continued to poke him, a smirk on my face. 

“J-Dog,” I said again. 

“Ugh,” he growled. “What?”

“I wanna do something.”

“Oh yeah? What? Get your ass outta here so I can talk to my siblings without an annoying little brat bothering me?” 

He looked at me and I could tell he was partially serious. I felt so glad I filed the bratty thing away for later and I just  _ knew  _ he could tell by the smile on my face that something mischievous was running through my mind.

“Nope,” I said. “I have a book I wanna show you.”

He took a deep breath through his nose. “A  _ book _ ?”

“Yeah.”

He glanced at his brothers, who were watching with rapt attention. I smiled at them and they returned the smile but kept their amused gazes on Jacob to see how he reacted. Faith looked nervous, probably because Jacob was so irritated.

“Maybe you can show it to me,” Faith said, as if to get me off Jacob’s back and save her butt from his anger. “They have important business to discuss.”

I shook my head. “Nope. No way, Faith. I don’t think that’s allowed.”

She frowned and glanced at Joseph with a questioning look. Now I’d lost all of them. “What kind of book is it that Jacob’s allowed to see it but I’m not?”

“His name is J-Dog,” I said, my tone conveying the frustration I was feeling.  _ Why is no one picking up on the awesome nickname? _ “And there is no book. I just wanted him to come to my room so he could fuck me already.”

John let out a snort of laughter that he absolutely did not even  _ try  _ to disguise as Jacob rubbed his eyes with his fingers to calm his frustration. But I didn’t really notice it. I kept going.

“I mean, Faith, I’d be super into it. But Joseph’s only talked about me fucking him, J-Dog and J-Money.”

“J-Money?” John said, actually looking  _ offended  _ at his nickname. The drama queen. “That supposed to be me?”

“ _ Obviously _ ,” I replied, rolling my eyes in his direction. “Keep up, J-Money. Otherwise I’m gonna start calling you J-Dummy!”

“Daisy,” Joseph said as he stood. “Why don’t we go back to the room and you can rest today? Clearly, the Bliss balm is affecting you...much more than anyone would have anticipated and we all have some very important business to discuss.”

He tried to take my arm but I started to whine. Really whine, with a pout and everything. Like an actual brat. And boy, did Jacob look at me like he couldn’t decide whether he wanted to smack me across the face or choke me. Either one, I was into, so I continued to whine and pout with my eyes on him. He glared at me, like he was trying to make me realize that I was, 100%, pushing his buttons. Like he was trying to remind me that I was supposed to be afraid of him.  _ Psssh _ . _ Little does he know the tricks I have up my sleeve. _

“J-Dog.”

“ _ What _ ?” Jacob asked.

“J-God has to talk to J-Money so can you take me back?”

Joseph sighed as he took off his glasses at the mention of them and pinched the bridge between his eyes. “It’s fine, Daisy. I’ll take you.”

I let out a huff of annoyance. _ Why the hell won’t he let Jacob (J-Dog, my mind corrected me) take me back? Why can’t I just...climb Jacob like a tree while they have their boring little meeting? I’ve been so ready for it, for weeks.  _

Jacob stood with a sigh. “I’ll take her.”

“Yeah you will,” I said, wiggling my eyebrows suggestively.

“I’ll bring you to your room,” Jacob said again, emphasizing every word so I would understand.

“Yeah, you will,” I said again. 

“Christ. Daisy. I’m not sleeping with you while you’re drugged up like this.”

I pouted again. “Why not?”

“Because I don’t consider you able to give consent like this, okay?” 

I let out a whine again and shifted in my seat. I was perfectly, 100% horny. My panties were screwed, honestly. I knew what I wanted, dammit. I bit my lip as I squirmed in my seat again, and Jacob stared at me with his mouth open for a moment. I continued to pout. And whine.  _ Because he deserves it. _

He took in my pouting expression and faltered for a minute before he cleared his throat and glanced at his middle brother. I smirked, reminding myself to save that for later, too. Eventually, Joseph agreed to let Jacob take me back to the room I shared with him. Not my sex room, unfortunately. I knew Jacob would do what Joseph asked, which, if I was honest, made me even more annoyed. 

He picked me up and threw me over his shoulder like I weighed nothing.

“J-Dog!” I complained, not liking the position. But I had to admit, that strength turned me on like no other. “Put me down!”

He walked past John, Joseph and Faith and once we were further down the hall, he smacked my ass. I let out a yelp that turned into a moan.

“Do it again,” I said with a smile, wiggling in his grip.

“Shut up, Honey.”

“I like it when you call me that.”

“Well then I’m gonna call you Daisy the rest of the day.” 

“What?!” That was honestly the most upsetting thing I’d heard. Ever. I was sure about it. “Why?”

“Because bratty girls don’t get rewards.”

~

I didn’t remember getting back to Joseph’s room. But I remembered waking up. I could hear John, Jacob and Joseph talking about something in the other room. I felt good, unlike I was used to with coming out of a Bliss high. The balm must have alleviated those side effects. So I stood and took a glance in the mirror to find my curly blonde hair in disarray. But then I realized that Jacob had wrapped me up in his army coat. I inhaled his scent and nearly started shaking. I loved the way I looked in it, and I was almost desperate with the need to strip down and walk out with nothing on but the coat itself. I didn’t care that Joseph and John were there. Hell, maybe I could convince them to fuck me at the same time.

_ Nope _ , I thought.  _ Better not think about that. _

So I walked out into the main room and they all turned to look at me with smirks on their faces. They all had such different smirks but at the moment, they all looked the same. 

“Hey there, D-Dog,” Jacob said.

“Shut up,” I replied, my cheeks red. “I was high.”

“Faith is working on making a milder form of the balm,” Joseph said as I walked over to him and plop myself in his lap. “It shouldn’t have the same effect.”

“I liked it,” John said, chuckling when I stuck my tongue out at him.

Joseph planted a kiss on my head. “You were quite the little comedian.”

I glanced over at Jacob and saw he was staring at me, his pupils wide. He liked the coat on me. And God, that look made me wet almost instantly.


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SMUT AHEAD, including a daddy kink. Also, Daisy has a moment of hesitation but soft!Jacob is a sweetheart. Love my mountain man.

Two weeks went by and Jacob started working on easing me into whatever the hell his kinks were. I noticed that when we were making out, he would get rougher with me and whisper even more dirty things into my ear than he had been before. Each make out session kept getting hotter and heavier and I was worried I would die if he didn’t take me soon. 

Finally, one day when he visited, we sat on my bed as we played Go Fish. 

“Any sixes?” 

“Nope, go fish,” I said.

The game was uneventful and I lost. But once it was over, I leaned off over the bed to grab another one I had hidden away under it. 

“Fuck,” is all Jacob said and I wondered for a moment what he was so frustrated about before I remembered that I was in a dress, and my panties were 100% on full display for him in the position I was in. “I’m tryin’ to be a gentleman here, Honey.”

Heat pooled in my belly as I glanced up at him, and for a moment I was hopeful that maybe I’d get him to lose control and fuck me already.

“Maybe I don’t like gentlemen,” I replied before I went back to pretending to look under my bed even further, which made my dress ride up even more. Jacob growled and reached out to touch my ass and I let out a groan.

“Yeah, you like that, huh?” 

He smacked my ass, hard, and I whimpered as wetness pooled between my legs. He grabbed me, then moved me so I was over his lap, ass in perfect range. 

“You’re a fuckin’ bad girl if I ever met one, damn.”

He spent five minutes spanking me. Halfway through it, he pulled my panties down my legs and threw them in the corner of the room. By the time he was finished, I was soaked, aching for his fingers. I could feel his erection pressed against my belly from how I was splayed across him and I squirmed against it, in an effort to get him to touch me, or do  _ something _ . He let out a moan but stilled my movements with his big hands on my hips. 

“Be a good girl, do as I say,” he commanded. I nodded. “Stand up, take that dress off.” I did exactly what I was told and Jacob palmed himself through his pants at the sight of me naked before him. “ _ Fuck _ . C’mere.” 

I walked over to him and he pulled me onto his lap, my legs on either side of his hips. He looked at me for a moment, as if asking my permission, before he pressed his lips against mine. I deepened the kiss quickly and moaned as I felt his rough hands move down my waist to my hips to my bruised ass, which he squeezed. He guided my hips to move over his hard cock and I let out a mewl, the contact felt so good against my clit.

“Fuck, John was right,” he muttered into my neck as he bit and kissed it.

“About what?”

“The fucking noises coming outta your mouth.”

His fingers found my nipple and he kept his eyes on my face as he rubbed it and pinched it. I keened at the feeling and rocked my hips against his. I’d fantasized about fucking him so much the past couple months that even small touches were driving me crazy.

He smirked wickedly as I bit my lip. “So needy, huh, baby? So fucking needy for daddy, aren’t you?”

A flash of heat and sparks of desire coursed through me at his words. He chuckled against my chest as I let out another whimper and ground myself down on his clothed dick. 

“ _ So _ needy, daddy,” I said back, and Jacob actually  _ moaned _ . 

“What do you want, baby?” He asked as his fingers moved to my left nipple and worried it between his thumb and pointer finger. I pressed my hand to the back of his head and continued to grind against him. “Tell daddy what you want.”

“Your cock,” I moaned. “I wanna choke on your cock and feel you come down my throat.”

“Fucking hell, baby girl,” he growled, lowering his head to my nipple and licking at the small peak. “What else?”

“I want you to fuck me hard until I can’t even remember my name. I want you to come on my tits so I can lick up the mess.”

“Jesus,” he chuckled. “You’re a dirty girl, aren’t you?” 

“Mmhhmm,” I replied, my bottom lip between my teeth as I watched his hungry eyes look over me. I giggled a little bit as his beard tickled my chest. 

“You want daddy to play with you, baby?”

_ Fucking fuck, that’s hot _ . I started to drip even more between my legs at the game we were playing. I glanced down and noticed a wet patch on Jacob’s pants and I would normally die of embarrassment but instead it was turning me on. 

“Yes,”

“Yes what?”

“Yes,  _ please _ , daddy.”

He pulled me off his lap and motioned for me to sit in front of him, his feet planted on the floor and his body resting at the edge of the bed. I got to my knees and looked up at him with a coy smile, watching as he glanced down at the wet patch on his pants.

“You made a mess, baby girl.” He took my face in his hand and pressed his thumb into my mouth. I sucked on it, tongue swirling around the digit which made him gasp as he pulled it from my mouth and pointed to the wet patch. “Clean it up.”

I stared at him for a moment, unsure what the hell he wanted me to do. He noted my confusion and leaned down to capture my mouth, his tongue dominating mine before he pulled back and kissed my jaw. 

“Clean it with your tongue, baby.”

My face heated up and I did what he asked me, tasting myself on the rough fabric. He watched me with rapt attention, his mouth hanging open a little bit as he stared with lust blown pupils before his lips curled into a smile. The humiliation was unreal and for a moment, I wondered what the hell Joseph or John would think if they saw me like this, and the thought got me even wetter. 

“Good girl,” he growled, using the hand wrapped in my hair to pull me back.

He smirked down at me before he pulled his pants and boxers off, his shirt and army jacket followed, which left him bare before me. I  _ stared  _ at his cock, I actually stared at it. It was much bigger and wider than Joseph’s and John’s. Not that either of theirs were small, by any means. I tried to forget that it’ll be the first time I’d done it...at least,  _ wanted  _ to do it. 

Jacob took himself in his hand for a moment and stroked his shaft as he stared at me with dark eyes. “Does daddy’s big, fat cock scare you, baby? You worried it won’t fit into that innocent little mouth?” 

I bit my lip and nodded, tears blurring my eyes for a moment. “I’ve...I’ve never…” I felt absurdly embarrassed and buried my face into Jacob’s thigh to hide the tears. 

“Hey, hey,” he said as he stroked my hair, gently coaxing me to look up at him. He leaned forward, his frame blocking his cock from my view. “Are you okay?”

“I’ve never done... _ this _ ,” I said, my eyes looking everywhere but at him. “Not...not willingly...anyway.”

“Oh,  _ shit _ .” He moved back and pulled something over his member to hide it before he reached back for me and pressed a kiss to my head. “I had no idea, Honey. I’m so sorry. We don’t have to.” He ran a hand through his hair in distress and I could tell he was upset. “Fuck, this is what I meant about easing you into it. We should talk about your limits, stuff that you don’t want to do, a fucking safe word maybe.”

The problem wasn’t that I didn’t want to do it. I did, really did. Especially with him. For some reason, his reaction alone made me feel safer than I ever did with Joseph or John. Not that I didn’t feel like I could stop if I wanted to with them, but I’d never seen big, bad, scary Jacob care so much about anything before.

“No I...I  _ want  _ to. I’m just...nervous.”

“You sure about that?” he asked. “We don’t have to, Daisy. We can just stop if you want.” 

“I’m sure, daddy,” I said, hoping that would get the mood back to where it was before. “Can we just...I don’t know...how and…”

“Don’t be worried, okay?” he said with a smile before he leaned down and kissed my forehead. “I’ll help you. I’ll be gentle, too. And we can stop whenever you want. Does that sound good, baby?” 

I nodded, ignoring the knot in my stomach and twist in my chest at how kind and thoughtful he was being. He leaned down and pulled me into a kiss and soon I was back to where I’d been earlier, and so was he. 

“Daddy,” I moaned, breaking the kiss. 

“What do you want, baby girl?” 

“I wanna suck your cock.”

“You  _ sure _ ?”

“Yes, please, let me suck your cock Daddy.” 

He smiled and nudged me down so that my face was at level with his leaking member. I looked up at him for a moment before I quickly licked at the head, just desperate to taste his precum. A gasp escaped him and I could tell he was trying real hard to keep himself under control and together. I appreciated it - that he was willing to take it slow and show me how to do things rather than not even caring about my feelings. He ran his hands through my hair and smiled down at me. 

“You want daddy to tell you what to do?” he asked. I nodded in response. “Alright, take your hand, grab daddy’s cock.” He showed me how to hold it and took my hand, replacing his with it. He watched with hooded eyes. “That’s good, baby. Now, why don’t you start by just licking it like an ice cream cone, huh?” 

I shrugged. Easy. I started licking around his head and he let out a moan, tangling his hand in my hair. “Like that?” I asked.

“Just like that, princess.  _ Fuck _ ,” he growled. “Now, take the head of daddy’s cock, and suck on it. Put it in your mouth. Be careful not to use your teeth, okay?”

I nodded and did what he asked. My cheeks hollowed out a bit as I sucked on the head, moaning around him as I tasted his precum again. I glanced up at him to make sure I was doing it right and whimpered at the sight of him. He looked like he was trying so hard to keep control, to not hold my face in place and fuck my mouth wildly. He stared down at me as I continued to lick and suck, careful not to use any teeth. 

“You’re doing so well.” he said and I shivered at the praise. He observed it with a smirk and continued to pet my hair. “Can you take in any more, baby?”

Nodding, I moved my mouth further down, my jaw and mouth stretched to accommodate his large cock and I moaned around him as I started to suck again. His hips jerked under me and I could feel his leg muscles tensing up. I started to move the hand grasping the base and he let out a deep, ferrel moan. I loved it. 

“Fuck, that’s a good girl,” he growled and I moaned again at the praise. 

I needed friction on my pussy, desperately. My hips ground against nothing, and Jacob pulled me up by the arm. A deliciously dirty pop sounded as my mouth left his cock. He pulled me up and onto the bed as he lied down, and before he could give me any further instruction, I straddled his calf and started to suck his cock again while I grinded against his leg. A soft groan filled my throat at the feeling, which was muffled by his member. He tangled his hand in my hair as he looked down at me.

“Yeah, that’s right, baby girl. Fucking get yourself off on daddy’s leg while you take his big fat cock in your mouth.”

I tried to take in more of his length and he let out a grunt as I took as much down as possible. It hit the back of my throat and I gagged a bit but it was nothing I couldn’t handle. He stared at me in wonder as I continued to hump his leg, my juices smearing all over him. I knew my mouth was a mess, covered in spit and slobber as I moaned around his cock at the feeling of it in my mouth. 

“Just like that, baby. Just like that. Don’t stop, fuck.” 

His moans had turned desperate, and I watched as he stared down at me, both hands entwined in my hair, his jaw slack as he watched me drool over his dick. Dirty babble spilled from his mouth, and it made me even wetter. Fuck, I was turned on. After wanting him for so long, my whole body was overwhelmed.

“Daddy’s gonna come, baby girl.” 

He tried to pull me away from his cock, likely unsure if I could take his load, but I stayed where I was and locked eyes with him to see his widen for a moment before he threw his head back and came into my mouth with a guttural shout. I was able to get most of his cum, some of it dribbling down his softening member to his abdomen that couldn’t fit in my mouth. 

After a minute or so after he came down from his high, he nudged my mouth off his oversensitive member with heavy lidded eyes. He watched me close as I pulled away and my mouth stayed connected to his cock with a string of saliva which I broke with my tongue. I knew he had to take a moment before he could focus his attention to me, but I was so needy and desperate. I continued to hump his leg and he smirked as he watched me. 

“Did you like that, baby?” He asked. 

“Yeah, daddy.”

“You did such a good job. You were perfect,” he said. I mewled and smiled at him, a blush spreading across my face. “You wet, baby girl? You need to come, huh?”

I nodded, and he moved to switch our positions. He flipped me onto my back gently and crawled between my legs, kissing me deeply despite the fact that I’d just swallowed a mouthful of his seed. His fingers danced over my body, rough and calloused, as they glided down my belly and finally found my dripping heat. He slid a finger between the folds and I whimpered, my hips bucking on their own accord into his soft touch. He chuckled against my lips. 

“C’mere,” he said as he sat up.

I frowned, but moved as I was directed. He settled against the headboard of the bed and pulled me between his spread legs, my back to his chest, as he began kissing my neck. His fingers found my clit again and teased it with light, gentle circles.

“You’re such a good girl,” he growled in my ear. His free hand came up and played with my nipples, and I rested my head against his broad shoulder. “You looked so pretty with your mouth full of daddy’s cock.” 

“T-thanks, daddy,” I whimpered. I was close to the edge, and I felt as though his words might just push me over it. 

“Daddy can’t wait to see how you look when you come,” he said as he bit my earlobe. “You gonna be a good girl and come for daddy?”

“Yeah,” I hissed as I clenched my eyes shut, my hands gripping his thighs. Everything felt so good, and my pussy was so soaked that normally I would have felt embarrassed but it was just adding to my delicious build up. The dirty sound of my wetness echoed through the room and I couldn’t handle it anymore. “Daddy, oh fuck. I’m gonna come. I’m gonna come all over your fingers, Jacob _ , fuck _ !”

The orgasm hit me so hard and my whole body lit up in pleasure. I rocked my hips against his hand and closed my legs tightly to keep his fingers right where I needed them as I rode it out in glorious waves. I babbled unintelligibly and he chuckled against my ear as he watched my hips grind against his hand. 

When I came down from the delicious high, my body went slack in his arms and he kissed my temple before he whispered, “that was perfect, baby.” 

I shivered and smiled as I turned around and moved to straddle his lap before I kissed him deeply. 

“Thanks, daddy,” I said with a teasing voice.

He chuckled. 


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We have a very angry/jealous/asshole Joseph, which triggers some flashbacks in our Deputy, but protective Mountain Man helps her out gets protective.

Jacob’s chest was warm and comfortable as I rested my head on it, listening to his heartbeat with drooping eyes. I wondered what time it was for a moment. I hadn’t seen sunlight in so long that I couldn’t help but think about what was going on up there in the world. Jacob played with my hair and ran his fingers down my back as we lied there in silence, listening to each other’s breathing. 

“I’m sorry,” he said after a moment. I frowned and twisted my body to look up at him. 

“For what?”

“For not being more careful right away. Joseph told me a little bit about your past and I should’ve been more...aware.”

I shook my head, indicating the apology wasn’t needed. “It’s okay, Jacob. You didn’t know.”

“What did you mean when you said you never did that willingly?”

“I was…” I paused, and ignored the prick of tears in my eyes before I cleared my throat. “I was...there wasn’t really an option to not do it before.”

“Are you serious?” Jacob’s voice was soft but I could sense the anger and disgust under it. “Who did that to you?”

“His name was Alex. We were in the Army together.”

Jacob planted a kiss to the top of my head and pulled me close, wrapping both arms around my small body. I sighed and enjoyed in the safety of his arms, the comfort it gave me, as he rubbed my back and traced little squares and circles over my skin with his fingers. 

“I’m so sorry that happened to you,” he said after a while. “No one deserves that.”

“No, they don’t,” I replied. 

My voice was shaking and I tried to take a breath. I didn’t want to ruin that perfectly nice moment. 

“Hey,” he whispered as he pulled away a little bit to look me in my eyes. 

I tried to bury my face in his arms or turn onto my other side to avoid his gaze, but before I could hide the tears, he was brushing them away with his thumb. 

“You’re safe now, Honey. No one will ever hurt you like that again.”

“That man almost did, the first day of the Collapse.”

“He’s gone.”

“I know,” I whimpered. “But there’s always men who want to hurt me. Everywhere.”

Jacob pulled me close and placed multiple kisses on whatever part of me he could reach from that angle. “I’ll kill anyone that tries to touch you.”

~

We made each other come four more times before I fell asleep on his chest. I could tell it was late from how exhausted I felt. I woke up the same way the next morning. I blushed as he kissed me deeply and pulled me close enough to feel his morning wood pressing against my belly. I reached down to stroke it and he groaned.

“You’re playing with fire, baby.”

“I know,” I replied, a smirk on my face. “I want you to fuck me.” 

“Yeah?” he asked. “Just so you know, I’m not gentle.”

“Good,” I replied, grinding my body against him. 

It was unceremonial morning sex and I loved every moment of it. He fucked me on my back, my legs wrapped around his waist. I came around his cock and cried out his name as I spasmed around his throbbing member and he fell over the edge with me, pulling out just in time to spurt over my belly. 

We showered together before I put on a light pink summer dress and a jean jacket with tennis shoes. He held my hand in his as we walked to the kitchen area, smiles on both our faces. I saw Peggies look briefly at me, the intimate gestures between me and the oldest Seed brother. But I found I didn’t give a flying fuck about what they thought. 

When we get to breakfast, John, Joseph and Faith were already there around the table. Jacob dropped my hand before Joseph could see him holding it and greeted his family warmly. Joseph said good morning to him but his eyes were on me and I could tell he was not happy with me, for whatever reason, I didn’t know. I tried to ignore it as Jacob pulled out a pack of Pop Tarts and opened it before he offered me one. I took it and kissed his cheek with a smile before I moved to sit at the table, which was when I noticed John had a similar angry look on his face.

Jacob took the empty seat next to me and Joseph was on my other side. I munched on the slightly stale pop tart as I waited for someone to break the weird, goddamn tension that apparently erupted into the room upon our arrival. I felt my stomach clench in nervousness as to what I could have possibly done to make my husband and John angry with me.

“Daisy, we discussed that the room I gave you isn’t where you’re meant to sleep,” Joseph said after a moment. 

“You said I didn’t _have_ to sleep there. So I thought it was alright if I wanted to,” I replied, avoiding looking at him. 

Joseph studied my face, the bags under my eyes. I blushed, knowing I didn’t get much sleep last night and that I probably had bags under my eyes. I could feel Jacob watching his younger brother over my head, because even he had to have picked up on the tension now.

“Why are you so tired?” 

“Does that matter?”

Joseph stood then, and took my paper plate and threw it and the rest of my breakfast across the room. I stared at him in shock before Jacob stood behind me and placed his hand on my shoulder. I realized I was shaking. 

“Your proper bed is the bed you and I share. _That_ is where you sleep! I don’t care who you fucked during the day, at night you return to _me_!”

Tears flooded down my cheeks as I remembered meals with my mom’s boyfriends. How some of them would react, taking liberties as if I was their child, too. Smacking me across the face for disobedience. I couldn’t stop the feeling that I was being transported back to that fucking trailer park, at the rickety lawn furniture attempt of a kitchen table. It didn’t help that it was in a similar setting and I felt my breathing start to grow restricted as my heart pounded roughly against my chest.

“Joseph,” Jacob warned, snapping me back to the present as he moved to stand in front of me. “She didn’t know.”

“She knows better than sleeping next to you like she’s your wife, too!” 

I sat in my seat, trembling, feeling like I was two feet tall. Tears tracked down my cheeks on their own accord as I took in John and Faith’s shocked faces. I couldn’t stop the feeling that I was back at dinner, with Trent or Dave or whoever the fuck screaming at me. It was like I couldn’t discern my husband’s face from theirs.

“Did you like being fucked like a dirty little whore so much that you couldn’t bear to part with him?” Joseph’s spit flew from his mouth onto my face as he roared at me.

“I’m sorry,” I sobbed. I didn’t notice how childlike my voice sounded, how desperate and alone and scared I was. _Where am I? Am I six? Seven? What’s happening to me?_ “I...I didn’t mean...I...I’m sorry! Please!”

“You are my wife, _mine_! Not Jacob’s, not John’s! You’re mine! And if you cannot behave like a wife, perhaps I should just whore you out to the entire Project!”

“ _Enough_!” Jacob shoved his brother, so hard that he stumbled against his chair and I was knocked back to where I was in an instant at the sound of metal scraping against metal. “Don’t fucking talk to her like that, you hear me?”

“She’s my wife, brother,” Joseph replied. “I’ll talk to her how I please.”

“Not while I’m around, you won’t,” Jacob said. “As if her life hasn’t already been chock full of shitty men. You really wanna add to that pile?”

“The rules were clear,” Joseph insisted. “She broke them.”

“Sounds like they were a little vague. You know she’s a good woman, you know she’d follow the rules you set if she knew them. But it sounds like she didn’t know. So why don’t you ease the fuck up and talk to her like a person instead of throwing a tantrum and scaring her like that?” 

I tried to breathe, tried to bring myself back to the present. Jacob squeezed my shoulder and I pulled at his hand urgently. He shot a glare at Joseph before he knelt to my level and I buried my head in his shoulder and took deep breaths while my fingers twisted themselves into the fabric of his tshirt, clinging desperately onto something to ground me. 

He muttered calming words into my ear, reminding me where I was, that I was safe, that he’d never let anyone, not even his brother, hurt me. Everything felt so dizzy, and I kept muttering apologies. What I was sorry for, I didn’t even know. But I could hear the change in my voice, the way I sounded so childlike and terrified. I hated it so much. 

“Hey,” Jacob said after a moment. “It’s okay, all right? I got you.” I looked up at him with teary eyes and nodded, and he stood and looked back at his brother. “You see what you just did to her?” 

“I’m sorry,” Joseph said after a moment. 

I couldn’t even look at him. I was terrified if I looked up, I would be back home in Ohio with one of the assholes my mom brought home standing over me. He repeated the apology again, as if he was annoyed that I wasn’t looking at him or acknowledging it, but a whimper escaped me as I tugged on Jacob’s arm again. He knelt back down to my level and I buried my head in his shirt. 

“Daisy, please look at me, I’m sorry,” Joseph said a third time from behind gritted teeth.

“Damn fucking right you’re sorry,” Jacob growled as he turned to look at my husband. “If I see or hear of you doing that again, I swear to that God that you hear in your head, I’ll kill you and He’ll have to find a new prophet.”

Joseph stared at his older brother in shock at the threat, but moved to kneel next to him, his arm on my shoulder. I jumped away from the touch and scrambled back into Jacob’s embrace and Joseph looked to Jacob, who shook his head at him. 

“I’m...I’m so sorry, Daisy. It’s my envy. I know I need to control it. You didn’t deserve any of that. Please forgive me.”

“I need a minute,” I said. 

I tried to stand but my legs wobbled beneath me, and I took in John’s and Faith’s expressions of pain as they looked at me. Jacob caught me and lifted me. He carried me back to my room and asked quietly if I wanted him to stay as he set me on my bed. I told him I wanted a moment alone and he kissed my head before he said to radio him if I needed anything. 

I turned my head into the pillow and buried my head in it to let out a scream as my sobs tore from my throat. What the hell was I doing there? How the fuck did all of that happen? Why hadn’t I seen my friends yet? Were they okay? All those thoughts bubbled to the surface as I wept into the pillow that smelled like Jacob.

The family I was supposed to hate had become people I loved and I just couldn’t believe that I was stuck in a bunker with them for seven years. I couldn’t believe I’d married someone whose anger and envy got the best of them and caused vivid flashbacks to times I’d tried so goddamn hard to forget. That hadn’t happened to me in a very long time, and I wasn’t even sure how to handle it. 

I cried for another twenty minutes before I fell asleep. I dreamed of Jacob’s arms around me.

~

I woke up to a knock on my door. “Go away!” I demanded.

“Daisy, it’s John. I have some food for you. Are you alright?”

I sighed and got up to unlock the door. John wore a worried expression, his eyebrows knitted together as he took in my swollen face and red nose. He had a sandwich in his hands and I nearly let out a moan at the sight of it as my stomach growled. I let him come in and closed the door behind him. He set the sandwich on the desk, along with a bottle of water, before I launched myself into his arms. 

“You didn’t deserve that,” he murmured as he pulled me closer to him. “I’m sorry.”

“Why is he so jealous and angry when he’s the one who told me I was supposed to fuck the three of you?” I asked. “I’m so...confused.”

John helped me to the bed and sat with me on his lap, my face buried into his neck. “He atoned for his sins this morning. Jacob carved them into him.” 

“Great, another atonement,” I replied, my tone sarcastic. “It seems like he can do whatever he wants as long as he’s sorry about it later. It’s not fair.”

John kissed my head and continued to keep me in an embrace until I calmed down, at which point he stayed with me, talking and making jokes to distract me from the morning’s events.

~

I returned to my bedroom, my _rightful_ bedroom as my husband would call it, later that night. I hadn’t seen him all day and I did find myself missing him. But I missed Jacob, too. I knew that if Joseph tried to fuck me that night, I would reject him and I was ready for that to start a whole new round of fighting. But when I arrived to the bedroom, he was on his knees, muttering prayers into the thick air. 

I looked over his back and chest. His chest had ‘envy’ and ‘greed’ freshly carved into it, the wounds were not at all bandaged or healed. They looked deep. I wondered if Jacob let his wrath get the better of him while he helped Joseph atone. But it was his back that stopped me in my tracks. 

Blood and wounds decorated his back. It looked as if he was whipped. I stared for a moment before he muttered “amen,” and stood to look at me. I watched him, my mouth agape and he sighed, not making a move to approach me.

“I know this was not how you saw your life, Daisy. I know you did not see yourself married to a religious leader who predicted the end of the world, while also having the duty of laying with his brothers. It is a lot that I ask of you and I am terribly sorry for not being more patient with you. I love you more than words can explain. I love you more than...anything in the world. And I just...I was not happy when the Voice told me that you must lay with Jacob and with John.

“It makes me feel like you’ll leave me for them, that I’m not enough for you. But truly, in my heart, I’m glad you love them. I’m glad you are bonding with them and caring for them while they care for you. I’m sorry that I didn’t explain that I wanted you to come back to me every night. I shouldn’t have lashed out at you the way I did. Especially knowing that it’s a trigger for you.”

“Joseph, it’s-”

“Please, love, let me finish,” he said as he walked slowly towards me. He took both my hands in his and kissed them. “I am truly sorry, from the bottom of my heart, if I hurt or scared you this morning. I will make sure I never do that to you again. You are everything to me and the thought of losing you is unbearable.”

He pulled me close and I carefully wrapped my arms around him, trying to avoid hurting him where his back was all cut up. He kissed me deeply and I moved away before it can get carried away any further. I couldn’t have sex with him that night, not with the way I was feeling. Heartfelt apology aside, I still felt so...broken. 

“Did you do that to yourself?” I asked, motioning to his back. 

“Jacob did it for me,” he replied. 

“Oh...why?”

“Carving my sins was not punishment enough for what I did to you.”

I didn’t know what to say to that. So, I kissed him gently before I moved towards the bed. I needed sleep, desperately. My whole body felt drained from crying so much with John. Joseph let me sleep, writing frantically as I dozed off in our marriage bed.


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Me again. So I've posted most of this fic in a giant chuck. But as I got to the chapter after this one, while I was editing, I found that I wanted to change a few things around. So I'm looking at those and figuring out what I'm going to do about that. Therefore, it might not get updated for a little bit. It'd be a relatively minor change but the next several chapters are very full of angst, so I'm debating if I want to lighten everything up a bit because let's be real, poor Daisy needs some happiness. :) Enjoy!

A month and a half went by, and one morning, I woke up with a wave of nausea and I knew I needed to find a toilet immediately or I would throw up all over myself. I launched myself from Joseph’s embrace and sprinted to the small bathroom. I made it just before my stomach couldn’t hold whatever was in it in any longer. The vomiting didn’t stop, my forehead was sweaty and my hair stuck to my face as more and more spewed from my mouth.

Finally, after the tidal wave ended, I flushed the toilet and rested my head against the wall across from it. While the nausea was gone, I still felt like human garbage. My body felt weak and oversensitive, and my breasts were aching. I let out a whimper and felt gentle arms around me. 

“Are you alright, love?” 

“I feel disgusting,” I replied. “Can you help me back to bed?”

He helped me stand and walk over to the bed, where I sat down and groaned. “I’ll get Jacob. He has some minor medical experience.”

Jacob showed up about an hour later with a med kit in his hand and a worried look on his face. He took my temperature but frowned when it came out normal. He looked at me and sighed. 

“When…” he paused, looking a little awkward. He cleared his throat. “When was your last menstrual cycle?”

“I don’t know...um...a couple months after the Collapse, I think?” 

“Do you remember when?” 

“Um...right after you and I had just started…”

“So nearly two months ago?” 

“I mean, I’m barely eating enough calories to survive. I’ve lost so much weight and muscle in that time. I figured that was why.”

“Can you just take this for me?” Jacob produced a pregnancy test from his bag and I stared at it with wide eyes. 

“Wait... _ wait _ . You think I’m pregnant?” I asked.

“There’s that possibility, Daisy. Especially if you haven’t had your period for that long.”

I rolled my eyes but took it from his hand and walked to the bathroom. From behind the door, I could hear him and Joseph mumbling as I peed on the stick and put the cap back on. The instructions told me to wait five minutes, and the five minutes felt like an eternity. 

I took a look at the test after I held it in my hand upside down for a few moments.  _ What if it’s positive? What if I’m going to have a baby? What if I’m going to become a mother? Am I even ready for that? _

I flipped it over and saw the little pink plus sign and let out a laugh. There was a baby inside me. I was pregnant. _ Holy shit _ . I felt happy. Joyous, not at all how I planned and prepared myself to feel.

I came out and glanced at Joseph, who looked like he had been just as nervous as I was in the bathroom. “Well?”

“I’m...we’re gonna have a baby,” I said, a smile on my face. Joseph’s eyes filled with tears and he rushed to me, picking me up and kissing me deeply. I laughed and giggled as he spun me around, cheering. 

“Congrats, love birds,” Jacob said once Joseph set me down, before he hugged his younger brother.

He looked at me and seemed unsure what to do before he extended his hand. I glanced at Joseph, who wore a huge smile on his face, and I pushed Jacob’s hand away before I pulled him into a hug. He laughed and hugged me back as he kissed the top of my head. Joseph watched the two of us with that same smile on his face and I detected no sense of envy. I was his wife, and soon I would birth his child. There was no room for envy or greed...at least, not in that moment. 

I leaned up and captured Jacob’s lips with mine, and he let out a noise of surprise but kissed me back. Nothing too passionate, but it meant something and it made my heart flutter.

“You’re gonna be Uncle J-Dog soon,” I teased and he burst out laughing. 

“Yikes,” he said. “Let’s not have her call me that.”

“Oh, so it’s a girl, huh?” I teased.

“No clue. But congrats, Daisy. Congrats Joseph,” he said as he hugged his brother again, who was still overjoyed. Joseph made a radio call to John and Faith and told them to come right away. 

Jacob made me some chamomile tea to help my stomach relax and when they arrived, they looked confused as to why Joseph was in such a good mood. 

“Very soon, we will have another addition to our family,” Joseph announced. “Daisy is carrying our child.”

It was certainly cause for celebration. John seemed to have a sense about what Joseph wanted to tell them, so he’d brought along a fancy bottle of champagne and a smaller one of sparkling grape juice for me. Jacob popped the bottle of grape juice while John popped the champagne, and everyone gave toasts to how wonderful of a mother I was going to be, how they couldn’t wait to have a little niece or nephew. 

The following day, I attended one of Joseph’s sermons for the first time since the Collapse. Joseph had never really pushed me to go and I didn’t want to anyway, so I hadn’t. But he wanted me to come to that one, so he could announce the good news to his flock with me there. 

Everyone was there, and those who were working their shifts in the other bunkers who couldn’t attend had their radios linked up. All my friends were there, too, and it was a relief to see that they were doing well. I wasn’t sure why I hadn’t seen them in so long or made the effort to go to the other bunkers, but they didn’t seem to mind as they greeted me with hugs and shouts and happiness. 

I nearly wept with relief that they were healthy and as happy as they could be stuck in a bunker with a bunch of Peggies. I embraced each of them and they thanked me for convincing Joseph to let them into the bunkers when the bombs hit, and they insisted that they were trying to be on their best behavior. I thanked them for that, even though I wouldn’t have blamed them if they tried to kill a Peggie or two.

“Hey, the guy was right. I mean...I guess he isn’t as crazy as we thought he was, right?” Nick said. “Sucks that we have to come to these fucking sermons though.”

“Yeah, these are actually awful,” Hudson muttered under her breath. “Last time, he preached about chastity and like half the Peggie population had to atone. It was terrible and gross. We heard all about their weird bedroom shit, who was sleeping with who...” Hudson shuddered. “It was the worst.”

“Yikes,” I muttered. “But at least they’re doing it willingly, instead of being forced?”

Pratt scoffed near me but I ignored it. 

The sermon started and I took my seat up on the stage with the rest of the Seeds. I sat next to Jacob, who put his arm around the back of my chair and small talked with me while John introduced Joseph as he usually did, with a little pre-speech that I tuned out completely, happy to just focus on Jacob. 

Joseph began with talking about new life. He quoted the Bible, the Book of Joseph. I felt myself grow nervous with each passing second. I had no idea how my friends would react to a new little Seedling entering the world. I worried they would turn against me or try to kill me, and that thought alone made my heart pound against my chest. 

“You okay?” Jacob muttered as he touched my neck. 

“Just nervous.”

He nodded but kept his hand there, and I could feel Pratt’s gaze even though he was in the middle of the crowd. 

“New life is the most wonderful and beautiful of God’s miracles. And I’m honored to tell you all that, as we found out yesterday, Daisy is pregnant with my child and that child will lead us and continue our legacy even when we are gone from this world and in the gates of heaven!”

Cheers and applause erupted within the crowd and I watched as the Peggies leapt to their feet, cheering. I blushed and Jacob moved his hand on my upper back, smiling. I caught Pratt’s eye and saw how glum and angry he looked as he stared at me. 

The rest of my friends looked...stunned to say the least. Especially Hudson, Whitehorse, Jerome and Mary May. Nick and Kim actually looked happy for me, and Sharky, Addie and Hurk Jr. had smirks on their faces. I blushed as I made eye contact with Addie and she winked at me. All of them were clapping but their eyes were wide and their mouths were open as they looked at each other, muttering under their breath. 

The sermon finished up and almost every Peggie came up to me to ask for my blessing, which I was completely unsure about considering I didn’t even know how to give a blessing in the first place. Jacob helped me with it, muttering what to say to them under his breath. They thanked me, told me how radiant I looked, how happy. It took almost another hour to speak with all of them and by the end of it, my legs were wobbly and Joseph was still among his flock, talking and spreading his wisdom and joy. 

“Hey, I can take you back,” Jacob said, his hand on my waist. “You look tired.”

“Thanks. Yeah, I’m feeling a little dizzy. I think I need some water.”

“We’ll get some on the way.” He wrapped an arm around me and I leaned on him as he put his hand on my stomach and leaned into my ear. “Can’t wait to be an uncle. But I  _ really  _ can’t wait to see you glowing like this with one of ours.”

I blushed at the thought and he gave me a smile before he kissed my head and stroked my hair as we started to walk away. Pratt managed to get in our way, a furious look on his face as he glared at the both of us. The rest of my friends followed him, telling him to come back so they could get going. Just with the way he looked at me, I felt something brewing.

“So...you’re pregnant, huh?” Pratt asked. He was shaking as he stared at me. “With that monster’s baby?”

“Pratt,” Hudson warned. “Stop.”

“Or is it this monster’s baby?” He shot a glare at Jacob. “Or the youngest monster’s? I mean, from what I heard, you’ve fucked all of ‘em, so how do you know which one’s the father? Or does it even matter?”

“Peaches,” Jacob growled. “I’m not sure you want to continue with your little outburst.”

“You don’t scare me anymore,” Pratt shouted back. “You don’t have that fucking music box.”

“I have it, I’m just not using it.”

“So tell me, Daisy. They all fuck you at once or separate?” Pratt’s voice was venomous and I shrank away from him into Jacob’s embrace. “Oh, what? Now you’re all shy? You weren’t shy back when we hooked up.”

“Pratt, knock it off,” Whitehorse warned.

“I think you’re a fucking  _ slut _ , that’s what I think.”

A loud crunch echoed through the room as Jacob knocked Pratt in the nose with his fist.  _ Fuck _ . I grabbed at Jacob to try and calm him down and bring him back, I knew he was strong enough to crush Staci without much effort, and I didn’t want to see that happen. Jacob didn’t pay attention to me and continued his assault.

“Jake!” I yelled. “Get off him!”

“You’re weak,” Jacob growled at Pratt.

The rest of the group chimed in and I began to yell. When that didn’t do any good, I latched my arms around the back of Jacob and tried to pull him towards me and off Pratt. He threw his arm up, knocking me away roughly. I fell, landing on the ground and smacking my head on the cold floor. Everything moved in slow motion, the room descended into silence and gasps, and Jacob looked back to see me on the ground with horrified eyes.

“Fuck!” he yelled, pushing off Pratt and running to me to help me sit up. “I’m so sorry, Daisy.” He pulled me to him as I sat up and kissed my head, apologizing over and over and over. 

“Don’t  _ touch  _ her!” Pratt screamed as he stood. He was covered in blood and swaying dangerously. “You don’t deserve her! None of you do!” I watched as he pointed to John and Joseph, who came running when they heard Jacob call my name. “I could’ve made you happy, you know! I could’ve taken care of you a hell of a lot better than these psychopaths! But no, you just ignored me and blew me off. I hope you’re happy, Daisy. With this fucked up, disgusting life you chose for yourself.”

He spat and it landed on my foot before he walked away. Whitehorse stormed after him, shouting at him. Hudson came to my side and gently felt the bump on the back of my head to see how bad it was. Kim followed, touching my stomach and asking if I was feeling any pain. Joseph pushed through the crowd and put his hand on my back as Jacob held me. The whole world around me was spinning. Hudson did some tests to determine if I had a concussion. When it was clear I just hit my head, there was no other concern, but Joseph still worried. 

“What about the baby? Could this fall have hurt the child?” I wasn’t sure who he was even speaking to, but Kim piped up. 

“No, she says there’s no pain in her stomach. She’d feel some pain if it did any damage. The baby’s still pretty small, so it’s less of a threat for her to fall now than it will be in a couple months.” 

“Thank you,” Joseph said. 

“You might just want to check to see if she’s bleeding, though, just in case. That could be an indication that something’s wrong.”

“Jacob, will you help?” Joseph asked. 

Jacob nodded and picked me up bridal style. I locked my hands around his neck and inhaled his scent. “I’m so sorry, honey,” he whispered, sounding almost close to tears. I ran my fingers through his hair and shook my head, telling him an apology wasn’t needed.

“Thank you, my child,” Joseph said to Kim, placing a hand on her shoulder. I cringed as he called her that name but she didn’t even seem bothered. 

“Let me know if you need anything, Daisy. Nick and I are in John’s bunker for the time being. We didn’t want the baby around the Bliss.”

“Okay,” I muttered. I reached out and grasped her hand. “Thank you.”

She smiled and I said my goodbyes, telling the group that I would be sure to talk to them soon. With that, Jacob carried me to my room, telling Joseph he’d bring me back once did a more thorough exam.

He didn’t do much, just checked to make sure I wasn’t bleeding between my legs and he touched my stomach to make sure I was okay. After a while, he was done and I rested against the pillows, shaking my head. 

“I can’t believe him,” I said after a moment. “What a fucking asshole.”

“I didn’t think he had it in him,” Jacob said, fiddling with his knife at the small desk a little bit away from the bed. 

“Neither did I,” I replied. There was a heavy silence for a little while and Jacob looked at me. 

“I knew about you and Pratt, but I don’t think Joseph or John did. Just a heads up, in case they ask you about it.”

I looked at him with a questioning gaze. “How’d you know?”

“He told me about it.”

“Oh,” I replied. “What’d he say?”

“I asked questions and he answered.” Jacob shrugged. 

I sighed, rolling my eyes. “Yeah, did he tell you about how he used to guilt me into sex?”

“What?” Jacob’s tone turned harsh as his angry eyes flared to life. “He did what?”

“Don’t worry about it,” I replied. “It’s over.”

“I don’t care. I’ll fuck up anyone who ever hurt you. That’s not okay.”

I took his hand and tugged him back to me, kissing him. He placed his hand on my belly and I smiled against his lips.

“You’re gonna be a great dad,” I whispered. “I can’t wait to have your babies.”

He smirked. “Just like Joseph, I’m gonna tie you up and not let you move until you’re pregnant.”

The thought sent a delicious chill down my spine.


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things do not go as planned in terms of Daisy's pregnancy in this chapter - tw for miscarriage and a whole lot of angst.

Over the next three months, I discovered that being pregnant in a bunker after the end of the world was an absolute bitch. There was plenty of prenatal vitamins and all that stuff, Joseph made sure of it after the wedding, but I was still eating gross canned foods that made me nauseous. Every once in a while I got a sandwich from John, or some jerky from Jacob, but for the most part, my stomach was still not happy. 

All three brothers were careful and loving. I didn’t have sex with any of them for those three months, mostly because I didn’t feel the greatest in my pregnancy. But they still took time to hang out with me, whether that included reading to me, talking to the baby, whatever. They treated me as though I was having their collective child and not just Joseph’s, which was a wonderful feeling.

Faith was around a lot, too. She was very careful to keep any Bliss away from me so it didn’t affect the baby, but she helped the brothers take care of me and brought me my vitamins and played games with me on the days I didn’t feel like getting up.

My friends were allowed to visit my area of the bunkers, and they came in smaller groups so I could talk to them all. Pratt hadn’t visited once, and I was extremely glad he got the picture that I didn’t want to see him. Kim and Nick were excited for the baby, hopeful that their child and mine could grow up together and be friends.

I found myself thinking a lot about the world that was above us, wondering what the heck my little boy or girl was going to be thrown into once they were older. I wondered whether it would be peaceful or chaos. And I couldn’t help but hope for peace because the idea of continuing a fight sounded like death.

One night, I awoke from my slumber with a scream, pain lighting up my belly like wires. Joseph was up at once, asking me if I was okay, touching my face. Pain coursed through my body and I felt lightheaded and overwhelmed. My stomach felt like it was being torn apart and almost instantly, I knew I was losing the baby. I said it out loud to Joseph and he radioed Jacob. I screamed at him to get a doctor, too. Someone who could actually _help_ in the situation.

I threw the blankets off me and saw blood seeping between my legs, over my nightgown, onto the sheets. I started weeping before I could even think about it at the sight. My child was gone. I could feel it. 

A doctor arrived with Jacob as quickly as they could and the doctor tried to calm me down but I was hurting all over and any touch with the metal equipment made me scream with pain. It was like my nerves were on fire and everything hurt, including any single touch to my body. 

The ordeal lasted for two hours. At the end of it, I was covered in blood and sweat, the pain slowly subsided but never really left, it just turned into a dull throb. I felt like a failure, a terrible mother, a horrible wife. I couldn’t stop the crying and Joseph’s face was broken, too. I could see tears falling from his eyes when he didn’t think I was looking. It was difficult to even look at him at all, I felt so ashamed that my body had killed the one thing we were both so excited about. Our child, dead. All because my body couldn’t handle it.

Joseph could tell I couldn’t look at him, but maybe he couldn’t look at me, either. He left the room with the doctor and I was alone with Jacob, who also looked broken. He came and sat on the bed, and didn’t seem to care that the bottoms of his pants would likely stain with blood. He kissed my forehead.

“I’m...I’m so sorry, Daisy,” he said.

“Me too,” I replied.

After a little while, he stood up and went to the bathroom. There was a bath tub in there but Joseph always insisted that we shouldn’t use it because we needed to conserve water and the energy it would take to heat the water. I used to love taking baths, before all the chaos, and I’d mentioned to Jacob a couple times how I would kill to have a bath. I heard the splash of water as it turned on and knew that’s what he was doing for me. I heard him rummaging around in the bathroom and then my nose was greeted with scents of lavender and rose. He came back into the room with his shirt off and picked me up, carrying me to the bathroom where he set me on the small counter in there. He wiped down my legs and thighs with a hot wash cloth with such love and care that I nearly wept. He then carried me to the water and helped me in. It was steaming hot and felt so good against my aching limbs. I let out a sigh as I settled into it.

Bathing never felt so good. Jacob asked if he could join me and I nodded and watched him take his pants and boxers off before he slid in behind me and pulled me against him. He got the soap from the shelf above our heads and the washcloth, which he lathered up and washed over me. He let me take care of the area between my legs, saying he didn’t want to be too rough. As I cleaned it, I felt like a failure all over again. I laid back in Jacob’s arms and the comfort was almost overwhelming. 

At some point, I must’ve fallen asleep because I woke up to the feeling of him picking me up and carrying me to the bed. I could tell he was fully clothed, and I wondered when he got out of the bath. He wrapped a blanket around my naked body and I wanted to scream at him because the sheets on my bed were bloody and I couldn’t be in that bed, but he didn’t set me down. He kept walking. I was vaguely aware of doors opening and closing but I was too tired to even open my eyes. I didn’t care where we were going as long as I was with him. 

I woke up as we came to another bedroom that I hadn’t seen before. Where were we? I felt him lie me down on clean sheets and I nearly moaned at how good they felt. It was like I could pretend that nothing horrible had happened to me hours before. I heard him getting undressed again and he crawled into bed next to me before he pulled me close and spooned me. 

“Where are we?” 

“My room,” he said. “Joseph said it was fine.” 

“Does he hate me?”

“No, honey. Why would he hate you?”

“I killed our baby, didn’t I?”

“No, you didn’t,” Jacob said as he wrapped the blanket around us. I sighed as his bare chest pressed against my bare back. “We weren’t meant to have babies in bunkers, under the ground, while radiation and God knows what else is above us, destroy everything. You didn’t do anything wrong, Daisy.”

I smiled at the pet name and nuzzled closer to him. I noticed he didn’t have boxers on and for some reason, being bare with him under the covers, felt like the most perfect thing in the world. It brought us closer to each other without sex. For a moment, I thought it was the most pure thing in the whole damn world, before sleep claimed me again.


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More of Pratt's assholery, and some mentions of past abuse/manipulation. Also some smut!! :) Enjoy!!

Over the next two and a half weeks, I spent most of my nights with Jacob or John. They spoiled me, did whatever I wanted to do, got me anything I needed. We never talked about the baby. Faith came by every day, no matter where I was staying, and talked with me. She informed me that my friends were aware of the news when I was at Jacob’s and talked to me about that. I could tell Jacob was itching to ask how Pratt reacted, but he didn’t. He’d use any excuse he could to beat Pratt up again, I knew, especially if he made fun of me losing the baby, because that would be an excuse even Joseph would accept.

I visited with Eli, Wheaty and Tammy, too. They all were just glad I was okay and alive. They talked to me about how Jacob had changed a lot since the Collapse, how he seemed more empathetic and kind. He even joked around with Wheaty, which Tammy thought was absolutely absurd but didn’t say anything about it.

Faith brought my other friends around sometimes, careful not to bring Hudson when I was staying with John for her own sake. Pratt stayed where he was, until one day he showed up with Faith, Hudson and Whitehorse, right into Jacob’s bedroom. We hadn’t been expecting visitors, since Faith hadn’t radioed us like she usually did before anyone showed up with her. So as she opened the door, my friends were greeted with the sight of me lounging around in a nightgown and reading a book with Jacob on his bed, my head resting on his bare chest as he read to me and ran his fingers through my hair. I looked up in surprise when the door opened and I felt my face grow darker when I saw Pratt. 

It looked like he wanted to scoff at the image of the two of us, but something stopped him. My bet was on Jacob glaring at him as a warning not to say shit to me, but I couldn’t be certain. Jacob pulled up some chairs for them while Faith offered them water or something else to drink, which everyone graciously declined. I grabbed an extra blanket and wrapped it around myself before I moved to sit at the end of the bed so I was closer to them. 

Normally, if my friends came by, Jacob and Faith would leave the room so I could have time alone with them. As Faith was about to leave, Jacob grabbed her arm and muttered something to her, and she took a seat near the head of the bed while Jacob sat down in his desk chair and pulled out his hunting knife to sharpen. Normally, I’d laugh at how dramatic that was but I was not in a laughing mood with Pratt there. I fixed him a glare and finally decided to speak.

“What the fuck are you doing here?” 

“He came to apologize,” Whitehorse replied.

“I don’t want an apology if it’s a fake one.”

Pratt rolled his eyes and crossed his arms over his chest. “You’re being so over dramatic.”

“Do not tell me I’m being over dramatic when you spat at me and called me a slut.”

“I’m sorry for that, okay? But you have to cut me some slack.”

I laughed. “Slack? For what?”

“These motherfuckers tortured all of us. For weeks. And then all the sudden, I leave that fucking bunker this guy forced me into, and you’re about to marry his younger brother! How the hell was I supposed to react to that?”

“Pratt, we broke up months before all this shit even went down.”

“I still loved you! I still love you now.”

I glanced back at Jacob, who was doing a terrible job at pretending he wasn’t listening. He glanced up at me and I felt myself grow heated and embarrassed about the fact that Pratt was talking about this in front of him, and in front of Faith. Not to mention our old fucking colleagues. I didn’t let the embarrassment win, though.

“You know what? If you really loved me, you wouldn’t have guilted me into sex with you all the time. Or given me shit for not wanting to blow you.”

“Oh, now  _ I’m  _ was the manipulative one? You’re remembering all of this so wrong, it’s insane.”

“Don’t even get me started on the first time we had sex.”

“You  _ wanted  _ it. You told me earlier that night!”

“Really? Because I don’t even remember it.”

“You never said  _ no _ .”

“I was eight drinks deep by that point!” 

“Hey, Peaches,” Jacob spoke up with a menacing tone. “Just to make this clear, a woman can’t fucking consent if she’s blackout drunk. You understand that, don’t you?”

“Right,” Pratt replied. “‘Cause I’m sure you’re always a gentleman.”

“I have never and will never take advantage of a woman who is drunk. Nor would I ever try to guilt trip Daisy into fucking me, you piece of shit.”

“Right, but kidnapping her, conditioning her and brainwashing her are better ways to get laid, huh?”

“Alright, just gonna lay this out for you, Pratt,” I said, fed up with their back and forth. “He’s never brainwashed me to feel the way I do for him, nor did he condition me to feel anything towards him. I know he hurt you and fucked with your head and I’m sorry for your pain but you can’t keep making ridiculous accusations about our relationship without even knowing anything about it.”

“I could love you better than any of these fucking pricks.”

“If you’re gonna apologize, do it and get out. I’m not in the mood for your shit today.”

Pratt sighed and ran his fingers through his hair before he met my gaze with sad eyes. “I’m sorry. I know you signed up for this whole thing because you wanted to protect us. It just...it’s messing with my head because it seems like you actually love these fucking psychopaths.”

“What’s it matter if I do?” I asked. “Maybe you saw one side of them but I see another. And yes, their methods were violent and cruel but they’ve  _ stopped _ . They welcomed you into this bunker even though all you did was say that they were crazy, they forgave you and it’s fucking time you forgave them because I’m so tired of all of this.”

It felt as though the weight of everything collapsed down on my shoulders in an instant. Pratt muttered another apology and I accepted it, but overall, I just felt broken. Like the two parts of me were ripping at the seams and both sides were fighting with my whole self. The once Leader of the Resistance in me understood everyone’s anger towards me for abandoning them for the Seeds, but the part of me that had agreed to marry Joseph, to include his brothers in that marriage, wanted to scream at them for not looking at both sides of the argument. I kept a smile on my lips and pretended to feel happy during the rest of the visit, but all I felt was heavy, overwhelmed and empty all at the same time.

Jacob could sense it, and after everyone left, he wrapped his arms around me from behind. I leaned into the embrace and sighed as he kissed the top of my head. I was so fucking thankful for a moment that I got that side to come out of Jacob. I knew that everyone else, aside from his brothers, didn’t even think it existed. They were all exactly what I needed, but Jacob comforted me in a way I couldn’t even begin to explain.

That night, John came to Jacob’s for dinner and to spend some time with me to check in on how I was doing. He didn’t like to go more than a couple days without seeing me, and truth be told, I had stayed at Jacob’s for four days straight, and I didn’t really want to leave. I did miss John, though, who had been extremely doting and caring for me over the last couple weeks since the miscarriage. 

Jacob mumbled to him what I assumed to be an update on the Pratt situation while I washed off our dishes. For the first time in two weeks, my heart ached to see my husband. We kept our distance from each other, unable to even look in each other’s eyes after the loss we’d experienced together. I wasn’t sure why he thought it was best that we heal apart, but I was grateful, because both Jacob and John were excellent at keeping me distracted, and also holding me when I broke down in tears. I was sure Joseph wanted some time to hear what the Voice had to tell him about all this, and I did not like it when he screamed in pain from the other room, so it worked out well.

“Are you okay?” John asked as Jacob put some Oreo's on the table for dessert. 

“Not the greatest,” I replied as I took a cookie. “Did Jacob tell you that Pratt came by today.”

“He mentioned it. How’d it go?”

“Bad, for the most part. But I got an attempt at an apology out of him and then he left so that was...fine.”

“What a fucking joke of a person,” John said, shaking his head. Jacob chuckled in response as he pulled the Oreo apart and licked the icing in the middle off the cookies. “How he even became part of law enforcement, I’ll never understand.”

“Have you talked to Joseph?” I asked.

“At breakfast this morning. He misses you,” John said. “He’s torn up about it. But he’s listening to what the Voice has to offer him.”

“Why don’t you come tomorrow, Daisy?” Jacob asked. “I’m sure it’d be good for you two to see each other.”

I shrugged and looked down at my hands as I picked at the skin on my thumb. While I missed Joseph, I did not want to see him at all. The few times that we had seen each other were so awkward and different than before. He was distant, barely even looked at me, and I spent the entire time wondering if I had done something wrong and feeling anxious. After the day I’d had, I couldn’t even think about seeing him the next morning and having to deal with all that over again. I told them this, and they listened with sympathetic looks on their faces. Jacob pressed a kiss to my temple while John kissed my hand in reassurance that whatever I needed was fine with them.

I sighed again and looked up at John, who was watching me with sad blue eyes. “Did the Voice ever tell him why our baby died inside of me?”

“He doesn’t talk about that with us,” John replied. “You’d have to ask him yourself.”

I took an Oreo and shoved it into my mouth to avoid answering him at all, and John chuckled as he stood and kissed my head. He said goodbye to us a little bit later, and asked if I’d like to join him at his bunker anytime soon, which I agreed to go the following day. With that, he swept me up in his arms and kissed me deeply. I rolled my eyes at his attempt to show off our relationship in front of Jacob, but knew the oldest brother wouldn’t react the way John probably wanted to, so I let it happened.

“I’ll see you tomorrow.”

I helped Jacob with the rest of the cleanup before I took a shower and then threw on one of his old Army t-shirts. I brushed my teeth and then climbed into bed, where Jacob was already under the covers looking at files that John had brought with him that contained information about inventory in all the bunkers and all that other boring stuff.

Jacob wrapped me in his arms under the covers and spooned me, and I nuzzled into the embrace. He pressed his lips to my neck, and all the sudden, I wanted him. I haden’t had sex since I lost the baby - it was partially because I felt horrible and didn’t want to, but also because Joseph explained that I was only to have sex with  _ him  _ if I wanted to have any sexual contact...another one of those wonderful rules of his. The mere idea of having sex with Joseph made me want to cry, and sure enough, tears sprung into my eyes before I could stop them.

Jacob noticed when I sniffled and wrapped me tighter in his embrace. “What’s wrong?”

“I...I just want to have sex and I know we can’t but, shit, I need a fucking distraction from today,” I replied, hiding my face in shame. 

Jacob turned my head to face his and kissed my lips lightly, but I instantly pulled him back and danced my tongue along his lips. He let out a moan as he opened his mouth and I climbed onto his lap, desperate for him. The contact felt so good and I was already wet, ready to dive head first into a distraction that would make my body feel so much better than it had in weeks. 

“Joseph doesn’t have to know,” Jacob said, kissing my neck. “It’ll be our secret.”

I moaned in agreement as he bit the tender area that gave me chills, the area where my neck met my shoulder. He nibbled on it for a little while before he moved on.

He moved us so I was on my back and he settled between my thighs. He pulled the shirt from my body with my help and worshiped my breasts, taking his time sucking, licking and biting at my nipples. I whined as I wrapped my legs around his waist. I wanted him to fuck me. Not worship my body with a tenderness I didn’t even know he possessed. He chuckled against my skin and looked up at me with a raised eyebrow before resuming his gentle kisses. I rolled my eyes, pressing closer to his erection, which I could feel against my naked pussy.

I ground against him and he growled as his eyes got that spark back in them that means he would be rough with me. His finger wandered down to my clit, which he circled roughly. Whimpering, I closed my eyes and reveled in the feeling as he muttered things into my ear that only spurred me on. 

Finally, he lowered himself so his mouth was hovering over my dripping center. Without a word, he pressed his mouth to my pussy and I let out a loud moan. His fingers joined his mouth as he slipped one into my entrance, quickly followed by another. They stroked that glorious spot inside me and I shivered, curling my hands in his red hair. He looked up at me the entire time and I couldn’t take my eyes off him. The room was silent apart from my cries, his moans muffled by my cunt, and the wet sounds of his fingers going in and out of me. 

Just as I was about to come, he moved away from me. I let out a whine, gyrating the air, trying to get more friction. So focused on that, I didn’t notice him pulling pants down and preparing his hard cock with the juices still on his fingers from my entrance. He nudged into me, taking his time for a moment. I could see in his eyes the way he was trying so hard to control himself and not take me hard and rough. Finally, he was buried up to the hilt and he pulled out and thrust back in, causing me to cry out a litany of his name and ‘daddy’, which I’d grown quite accustomed to calling him during our trysts.

“Fuck baby, I’ve been dying for you to call me that again,” he growled into my neck.

“Yeah?”

“Fuck, you take my cock so well, don’t you? My good fucking girl.”

I could only whimper in response as he thrust into me, harder this time, hitting all the right places inside of me as his fingers moved down to play with my clit. My nails dragged down his back as he picked up a more relentless pace and he claimed my lips with ferocity. I could feel pleasure building inside of me and fuck, it was all I wanted. I whimpered against his mouth as I felt myself hurtling towards the edge, and he smiled a wolfish grin as he pushed me down and fucked me hard and wild, as his fingers somehow managed to keep their pace on my clit.

“You gonna come for me, baby?”

“Yes, daddy.”

“Do it.”

My body followed his command as if those two words were all I needed. I plunged over the edge with such intensity that stars bloomed behind my vision and I lost all sense of time, place, and everything around me except for the feeling of him moving within me. I wanted all of him, so badly, I wrapped my legs around his hips and pulled him in closer as I felt him start to lose his rhythm.

I felt his seed spurt inside me and I mewled at the feeling, my pussy clenching at the way he filled me up. We panted for air while we come down from our orgasms and as Jacob pulled out of me, he let out another growl as he watched his seed drip from my pussy.

He collapsed next to me on the bed, both of us sweaty and coming down from our highs. He glanced over at me and wrapped me up in his arms with a shake of his head.

“Joseph’s not gonna be happy if he finds out what happened.”

“What, the sex? Or the fact that you came inside me.”

“Both,” he said with a laugh. 

I shrugged. “There’s gotta be some form of Plan B down here. I’ll take it tomorrow and he’ll never have to know. We’ll just pretend this never happened.”

“Good call, honey.”

I smiled and kissed him deeply again before he wrapped me in his arms and we fell asleep listening to each other’s breathing. 


	27. Chapter 27

Joseph, of course, found out. I wasn’t sure whether Jacob actually told him or if it was one of the Peggies that maybe happened to walk past Jacob’s room while we fucked. It didn’t matter. What did matter was the way Joseph was looking at me, disappointed and angry. He looked at Jacob the same way. I was unsure if he knew about the fact that Jacob came inside me, but I kept my mouth shut about it.

“Daisy, what are we going to do with you?” he said, removing his glasses and pinching the bridge of his nose in frustration. “You keep breaking the rules, and in turn, leading others into temptation with you.”

“Maybe there’s too many fucking rules, then,” I replied, an eyebrow raised. 

I crossed my arms and watched as Joseph’s gaze flicked down to Jacob’s army jacket that I was wearing.  _ Good _ , I thought.  _ Let him get jealous.  _ I was getting tired of this game, this endless labyrinth of rules and regulations that provided roadblocks between me and the brothers I was supposed to be “loving” just as I “loved” Joseph. It was exhausting. I wanted to forget all of them. My heart ached so much to be in Jacob’s loving and safe arms at night, to have Joseph mutter sweet nothings into my ear, to spend time joking and trying to one up John until the sexual tension broke into actual sex...I wanted it all at the same time, goddammit. 

But the more I observed them, the more I noticed that the jealousy wasn’t just within Joseph, it was present in all three of them. Jacob wasn’t so much jealous as he was protective, and I knew he did not like the way Joseph treated me, especially since that morning after Jacob and I had first slept together. He didn’t care about John, though, and didn’t seem to even view him as competition. Maybe it was because John was kind to me, too, and Jacob’s focus was more on not letting Joseph hurt me again.

John, however, hated any sign of affection I showed to either of his brothers. He wasn’t vocal about it but I saw the way his gaze had turned darker in the past after Joseph and I got married. He also did not like how close I was with Jacob, which was a dislike it appeared he shared with Joseph. Like he had before, whenever Jacob was around, John would try to one up him in terms of showing me an absurd amount of affection (there was a point where I thought he was going to fuck me right in front of Jacob, it’d gotten that bad. Not that I would have complained in the slightest). I could also tell John felt inadequate because I was technically married to Joseph and I was extremely close to Jacob, so I could tell just from the things he said and how he acted that he wasn’t sure where he stood.

Joseph, however, made me anxious with his envy. The way he looked at me, as if I was something he had claimed and they were trying to steal from him, made me nervous at the best of times. It’d gotten even worse since we lost the baby, and since it was the first time I’d seen him since that night, I could tell he was not happy about that. He hadn’t made much of an effort to see me either, though, so I couldn’t give him that one. How was I supposed to read his mind? 

“I’m not the one who makes them, Daisy,” he said as his voice knocked me back to the present of our conversation about these fucking rules that were really ruining  _ everything _ .

“Seems like every time I have sex with John or Jacob, we’re sitting here and you tell me there’s a new restriction. It sounds to me like you’re lying.”

“Are you suggesting that I’m making up the rules because of my own jealousy?” Joseph asked, anger tinting his words.

“When you gave me that bedroom, you said I didn’t  _ have  _ to sleep there if I didn’t  _ want  _ to. The minute I spend the night with Jacob, you tell me I  _ can’t  _ spend the night there. The first time John and I fooled around, you found out and then all the sudden told me I couldn’t fuck him until after the Collapse. Do you understand how confusing all of this is? You don’t give me anything that’s clear, and then you blame me when I don’t follow rules that I didn’t even know existed. Or you twist your own words around to change them.”

The distance between us had grown greatly, especially after spending all my time with Jacob and John. I could only imagine that this conversation would make things worse, and that the distance would grow even bigger until we were on completely separate ends of the whole thing. 

“What do you suggest then?” he asked.

“I’ve got an idea,” Jacob said from his corner, speaking for the first time since the start of the meeting. “There’s seven days in the week. We each get two with Daisy. The last day is her choice, meaning she can spend it with one of us, spend it alone or spend it with her friends.”

Joseph looked like he had a horrible headache as he rubbed his temples. “That might be good.”

“Sex sure as hell better not be required on the days I spend with each of you,” I warned. “If I’m not in the mood, we’re not fucking. End of story.” 

Joseph looked like he was about to make a retort, but Jacob stood and came over to me, wrapping a strong arm around me and kissing my head. “Of course not, baby.” 

John snorted at the nickname but said nothing, and Joseph rolled his eyes.

“Fine. Let’s aim for that right now. I’ll take the beginning of the week. Then Jacob, then John?” 

It took me a moment to realize he was looking at me for my approval. I wasn’t used to him asking me if I was okay with something, so I kind of stood there like a dumbass and looked at him with a confused expression on my face. 

“Oh, uh, yeah...that’s fine.”

“Good. What’s today?” Joseph asked.

“I don’t fucking know,” I replied. “We’re stuck in a motherfucking bunker.”

“Language,” he warned. I rolled my eyes as he pulled out a watch and a calendar. “It’s apparently Wednesday. So you can spend today and tomorrow with Jacob. Then Friday and Saturday with John. Sunday is your free day and then I’ll have you Monday and Tuesday.”

“Awesome,” I replied flatly, leaning closer to Jacob as he wrapped his arm tighter around me. “Let’s go.”

“And sexual intercourse is allowed,” he said after Jacob and I had turned to leave. “Because it’s clear that you can’t seem to listen to that rule. But condoms are to be worn in the event that it occurs, or pulling out. Under no circumstances should they come inside of you.”

I blushed deeply and rolled my eyes, trying to play my embarrassment off as John spoke up.

“Didn’t seem like the two of them followed that rule either.”

I turned around and glared at John. “Oh for fuck’s sake,  _ you  _ told him?”

“I came to grab the files Jacob had given me that I’d forgotten, and I caught the end of the show.” 

John looked quite proud of himself and I wanted nothing more than to smack that smug smile off his face. Of course he was the reason we were in trouble. He just chuckled as he looked at my face.

“Jacob? Is this true?”

“We were caught up in the moment. I took the morning after pill so it’s not like I’m about to get knocked up by Jacob before you, okay?” 

“It was a mistake and we took the measures we needed to,” Jacob replied.

“Why do I have a feeling this was your doing, Daisy?” Joseph asked, eyes staring deep into my own that I felt like he was looking into my soul. 

“Why am I always the one to blame here?” 

The anger bubbled inside my belly like lava and I wanted to spew it out all over him, burning him with my rage. Nothing was ever John or Jacob’s fault, or Joseph’s fault for that matter, but everything always fell on me. 

“It wasn’t her fault, Joseph,” Jacob said. “You’ve gotta stop doing this to her, okay? It was a mistake, but it’s fine now.”

“It’s not fine. What if you hadn’t found the pill and she got pregnant with your child?” He fixed his gaze on me now, his eyes already accusatory before he spoke again. “Is that what you wanted? To spite me?”

I almost laughed at how ridiculous of an accusation it was, but I stopped myself. I felt almost manic. How the fuck did I get myself into such a mess? Why was my husband, who had told me to include his brothers in our marriage, so possessive and angry towards me for doing exactly what he asked? Wasn’t I a good wife, the ideal wife for his Bible-thumping ass? Hadn’t I given up everything to do what he wanted, to be with him, to be a part of his family? I felt all my civility and patience fly out the window (well, not that there are windows in a bunker but, you know, metaphorically) and pettiness and anger took over as I fixed a look at my husband that could’ve killed if that was possible.

“Fine. It’s all my fault. Fuck, I’m such a whore, aren’t I? Just tempting every single one of you into breaking all these precious fucking rules?” 

“Daisy, that’s not what I meant,” Joseph said. “You know that’s not what we think.”

“That’s what you called me the morning after I spent the night with Jacob the first time. You asked me if I liked being fucked like a dirty little whore and then you suggested pimping me out to the entire fucking Project. Or do you not remember that? And how the hell would you have any idea what Jacob is like when he has sex with me, anyway?”

The room went silent as Joseph’s eyes fell to the ground. Anxiety bled into my stomach at the way he reacted to the question and I held my breath in anticipation for what he would say next. But he kept his eyes down and his mouth shut. Jacob and John didn’t seem to understand where the tension was coming from, looking between us both like confused puppies until Jacob’s eyes went wide as he stared at his brother.

“You didn’t tell her?” Jacob shot a glare at Joseph.

“Jacob…” Joseph started. “I didn’t want…”

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” 

“What’s going on?” I asked. 

Jacob tightened his grip on me just a little, as if he knew what he was about to say would hurt me. “Joseph forgot to tell you that he’s got a camera in your room.” 

“ _ What _ ?” 

“I needed to make sure you weren’t breaking any rules, Daisy.” 

“So you filmed me fucking your brothers without telling me?” I couldn’t contain the rage anymore. It flowed out of me like vomit. “You’re such a fucking manipulative, cruel, disgusting pig. Oh my God, you can’t just  _ do  _ that! You can’t tell me who I need to fuck, how I need to fuck them, and when, and then watch it like some fucking pervert.” Jacob tried to calm me down but I pushed him away. “You knew?” I asked him. “You all  _ knew _ ?”

“I thought he’d told you, Daisy,” Jacob said. “I didn’t think he’d keep something like that from you.”

“When the hell has he  _ ever  _ told me the whole story, huh?” 

Tears rolled down my cheeks and I wanted to curse myself at how weak I’d become, how emotional. My mind was on overdrive as I tried to think through everything. I felt imprisoned by my own brain and by the men who swore they loved me. 

“I can’t believe you.”

Joseph stood and tried to come over to me but I backed away. “I’m sorry, Daisy.”

“Don’t  _ touch  _ me!” I screamed as he placed his hand on my arm gently. He was taken aback by how loud I was, how angry and emotional. “I can’t believe this. I can’t believe I handed my life over to you so willingly. What a fucking idiot I was. I wish I could go back in time and tell myself to run the hell away from all of you!” 

I took in Jacob’s hurt expression, John’s too as I said those hurtful words. I didn’t care (well, I did but I wouldn’t let myself focus on it), my rage was too much, too overpowering to even feel the way my chest constricted when I took in their faces. I couldn’t stop yelling, I felt so violated and angry and my hands were shaking.

“What kind of fucked up arrangement is this, huh?” I continued. “You treat me like I’m some sort of machine! You fight over me, get angry and jealous when you’re the ones telling me to fuck the others. I can’t believe I fell from that goddamn airplane and this is how my life turned out! I’d rather be dead from all that radiation than be living with all of you!”

I didn’t wait for their reactions before I stormed out of the room. I had no fucking clue where to go, but I wanted my privacy. I knew going to my bedroom wouldn’t be of any use, especially considering I knew there were cameras in there now. I felt sick to my stomach as I stormed past Peggies who were working or chatting among themselves. They all paused while they watched me pass, but I didn’t care.

I felt like a goddamn machine that was only good for one thing - creating more Seeds to run the world and destroy everything. That was all they saw me as, how all the Peggies saw me, and I was sure my friends just saw me as that, too. 

I settled on Faith’s bunker. I knew that was the best place for me. They could try to come and get me but I knew Faith would protect me. Even if she didn’t, my friends might. Especially if they heard everything that was going on. 

I wanted to scream at myself for being so stupid, for letting myself have feelings for any of the Seeds. _How ignorant am I that I thought for a moment that they could truly love me?_ _I only have one role to play and that is for them to breed me. Nothing more._ My mind felt like it was turning against itself. 

Even for Joseph, breeding me was all that mattered. I had to bear  _ his  _ child first. No exceptions. I couldn’t let Jacob or John come inside me, even if that's what I wanted. I couldn’t do anything, so restricted by the tight leash Joseph kept me on. 

It took about a half hour for me to get to Faith’s bunker, and when I did, I knew I needed to ask her for some Bliss balm to calm myself down. I found her in the Bliss production area and I pulled my shirt up to cover my nose. The balm was what I wanted, but the sparkles in my vision were already causing me to sway dangerously.

“Daisy?” she asked as I walked towards her. “You don’t look well.”

“Can...can I stay here?” 

“Of course. What’s wrong?”

I shook my head. “I just...I need to sit down.”

She took me to her bedroom and I collapsed on her bed while she sat at her little desk, her eyes on me and her expression patient. She pulled out some of the Bliss balm, one of the stronger batches like the one she gave me for my rope burn, and at my request, rubbed it on my hands and feet. 

“What happened?”

“Joseph...he had a fucking camera inside my bedroom,” I whimpered as I curled my legs up to my chest and wrapped my arms around them. 

I wished she could give me more, but I knew that would be too much of a high to even function. She wrapped me in her arms and I wept into her shoulder as I held her tightly. For some reason, at the moment, she felt like my only friend. I didn’t even trust Jacob anymore, and that fucking hurt worse than not trusting Joseph or John.

“He watched every single time I fucked John or Jacob. And he didn’t fucking tell me.  _ No one  _ told me.”

“Daisy, the Father sometimes has a way of doing things…”

“Don’t give me that bullshit, Faith,” I told her. “Don’t be his Herald now. I need  _ you _ . I need my sister. Please.”

She sighed, took my arms in her hands and squeezed. “I agree with you. It’s not fair that he didn’t tell you. He shouldn’t have done it without asking you beforehand.”

I nodded, resting my head on her arm. The balm was working and I swore I was somehow in a field. Outside. Away from all the bullshit. I was in the grass, near a tree. I let out a sigh as I watched butterflies dance around me. Somewhere safe where there were no rules, no hidden cameras, no jealousy.

“I can’t trust him...I can’t trust  _ anyone _ ,” I said. “I...I wish I’d married Jacob. Or even John. They at least care about me. Jacob takes care of me, he stands up for me. And Joseph just manipulates me over and over again.”

My voice sounded musical to my ears and I tried to remind myself that none of it was real but the other part of me wanted to bask in the made up world for as long as I could before I had to go back to that life in the bunker.

“You can trust  _ me _ , always,” Faith said, holding my hand. “I know this is a hard situation. Three relationships is...a lot. I can only imagine how difficult it is.”

“I can’t believe I gave myself over to Joseph so easily,” I said. “I can’t believe I let him manipulate me into thinking he loves me at all. The only thing he cares about is getting me pregnant so I can have his heir or whatever.”

“He does love you, Daisy,” Faith replied. “He loves you so much. But he’s unsure how to properly show it. I think it’s hard for him when you spend so much time with Jacob and John.”

“What the hell else am I supposed to do? Ever since I lost the baby, he’s distant. He can’t even look at me. It’s like I broke his heart.”

“His heart may be broken but it wasn’t you that did it. God was the one who took your baby from you. It’s hard for Joseph. He knows God’s plans but ignorance is sometimes more blissful than knowing what’s in store for you later.”

I sighed and lied down on the grass, and smiled as I saw Mr. Bun Bun hop over to me and land on my belly. I pet him with a giggle and Faith watched with a smile. I started drifting off, feeling everything falling away from me. I wasn’t ready for that yet, I wanted to stay in the field. But soon, it was all gone, and my eyes became heavier and heavier with each breath until I closed them and was surrounded by darkness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apparently I can't decide who is more of an asshole: Pratt, or Joseph? Also poor Daisy just needs a damn hug and some rest. :'(


	28. Chapter 28

I woke up to voices murmuring in the hallway. I sighed and stretched, not sure exactly whose bed I was in for a moment before everything came flooding back to me. The fight I’d had with the brothers, the field, talking to Faith. I let out a groan and rolled over, throwing a pillow over my head, not ready to face reality yet. I wanted to go back to my dreamless sleep.

~

I woke up again to a body next to me, warm and breathing steadily. I rolled over in their arms, my vision a little blurred from my sleep, and saw red facial hair. Jacob. I sighed, he was the only brother I wanted to be with right now. I nuzzled into his chest and he wrapped his arms tighter around me. I could tell he was saying something but I couldn’t understand it. 

~

“Baby,” I heard, my eyes fluttering open as I took in the harsh white light. “You gotta wake up. You’ve been asleep for hours.”

“So?” I replied, trying to roll over. “Time isn’t even real.”

I heard a chuckle and felt Jacob’s large hand against my back, rubbing in light circles in a way that made me purr. I felt the bed dip under his weight as he sat down next to my body. “C’mon. We gotta let Faith have her room back.”

I rolled over and looked at him, my eyes finally adjusting to the light. “We’re still in Faith’s room?”

“You were too Blissed out for us to move you. And I didn’t want to radio Joseph or John. I wasn’t sure how you’d react waking up to see them.”

“Good call,” I replied. “It would’ve been bad.”

“Let's go. I’ll carry you, if you want. Do you feel okay?”

I shook my head. “Still dizzy."

“Shit. She gave you a lot. Alright, let’s go.” 

He picked me up and I was brought back to the night they found me in the woods, how Jacob’s arms had felt like home and I felt tears prick my eyes. Maybe he was the home I was meant to have, but his brother had claimed me first. 

~

I woke up to the smell of soup. Warm soup. My mouth watered and I slowly opened my eyes, letting them adjust. I sat up cautiously and found Jacob at his desk, writing something down. He glanced over at me and smiled. 

“I got you some soup,” he said as he pushed the bowl towards me.

“Thanks,” I replied. I sat up and took the bowl and held it up to my face, slurping chicken broth and noodles and letting out a moan. “It’s so good. Thank you.”I finished off the soup pretty quickly and felt so content. I lay back against the headrest and watched Jacob work. “What’re you working on?”

“Joseph wants me to speak at his next sermon. Wants me to talk about being strong, culling the herd, all that shit.”

“Sounds like fun,” I said. Jacob chuckled and took the empty bowl from my hands. “Do I have to go to John tomorrow morning?”

“I mean, he’ll probably throw a fit if you don’t,” Jacob said. He set the pen down and turned in his seat to look at me, his elbows resting on his legs. “Daisy, I’m really sorry. I had no idea that Joseph didn’t tell you. I should’ve told you or at least brought it up to make sure you knew.”

“I’m not blaming you,” I replied. “Or John, I suppose. I just…” I sighed. “Things with Joseph are becoming so difficult. It’s like every time he looks at me, he sees our child dying all over again. I can tell from his eyes. And he acts like every single goddamn thing that happens is my fault. But I’m just doing what he told me to do. It’s so fucked up for him to have rules and regulations about what I do in bed with you and John.”

“He’s going off what the Voice tells him.”

“Yeah? Well, is the Voice telling him not to tell me everything? Is it telling him to make things purposefully vague so that I break all the rules and he can yell at me and humiliate me in front of the two of you?”

“I don’t know. I don’t hear it. He does. You’ll have to talk to him about all this. And by talk, I mean talk. Not fighting.”

“I’d love to do that, Jacob, but how can I go in there with a calm attitude when he hurls accusations at me left and right. He blames everything on me!”

“I know. Maybe it’ll help to have someone there, to mediate.”

I shook my head and rested it in my palms. “Jesus Christ, it’s like marriage counseling.”

Jacob chuckled and nodded. “I guess you’re right.”

“Ugh,” I sighed, sitting back and staring at the ceiling. “I hate this. I hate all of this.”

~

Jacob, Joseph and I sat at the table near Joseph’s bedroom (once mine, too, but I hadn’t slept in it for so long at that point). Jacob sat between us. He was the one who brought the idea up to Joseph, and Joseph said he should be the one to mediate since he was “clearly my favorite” - Joseph’s words, not mine. I knew he was bitter about how close I’d grown to his older brother in the past few months, but I didn’t care. Jacob was the right one. I knew it. Despite his lack of ability to talk about human emotion.

“Alright, who wants to go first?”

Joseph and I looked at each other, waiting. Joseph sighed and removed his glasses, closing his eyes and rubbing the bridge of his nose. “I will start, I suppose.”

I shifted in my seat, nervous as all hell. I wasn’t even sure what I wanted the outcome to be. I wondered if he’d tell he that he didn’t love me anymore, or if he’d found a replacement for me. But the one thing that I couldn’t even think about was if he told me that I could no longer see his brothers. I felt a pang in my chest at that thought and prayed to whatever God was up there that spoke to my husband that was not going to be the outcome of all of this.

“The night we lost the baby,” Joseph began. “I could tell you wanted to be with Jacob or John. Anyone but me. And I understood that. I needed my time alone to heal, too. I wanted to ask God why he would take our child from us, to try to get a better understanding of everything. But when I saw how happy you were with the two of them, how different you seemed with them than with me, my heart broke even further. I begged God to give me an answer, to show me the path I needed to take. 

“You’re my wife, Daisy. I love you more than anything. And I’m happy you’ve found joy and love in the arms of my brothers. More happy than you know. But...after being apart from you for so long, all I wanted was to be with you again. Not even as husband and wife, just in the same room. Talking. Sharing a bed to sleep in. And to see you grow further away from me...it just...something inside me broke. I was so terrified of losing you.”

Tears fell down my cheeks before I could stop them and Joseph extended his hands over the table and took mine in his. He squeezed them gently and looked into my eyes and I saw he was also crying. Jacob kept his gaze on his hands, not wanting to disrupt the intimate moment between us that we both very clearly needed.

“I thought every time you looked at me, you saw me as a failure,” I said, my voice breaking. “I thought you wanted someone new. Someone whose body wouldn’t turn against them and kill the one joyous thing they have. And while I needed John and Jacob, I needed you to hold me and tell me it was going to be okay. But every interaction we had was so awkward and full of tense emotions that it was just...so exhausting to be around you. My whole body would freak out, trying to figure out what to say or how to interpret what you said. It was like a roller coaster, leaving me drained and numb every time.”

“I’m so sorry,” he said, kissing my hands. “I never meant for that to happen.”

“I didn’t mean for any of this to happen. I  _ wanted  _ to have your baby. I wanted us to be a real family.” 

I took a breath, knowing that what I was about to say next might set off a bomb in that glorious, happy, loving moment.

“But Joseph, I just...I can’t do this if you film me having sex, if you watch those intimate moments...if you have all these rules. It’s...I mean, no relationship can flourish like that. And I know we’re going to have a baby together first but what about when I have John’s and Jacob’s babies? Will there still be rules and regulations? Will I only get to see me and Jacob’s babies on the day I see Jacob? Will you and I take care of all of them and they only get to see them on those days?”

I looked over at Jacob to see his jaw gritting at the thought of being kept away from his child, from our child. It made me angry too, just the abstract idea of it, so I could only imagine how he would feel if that’s what Joseph wanted to do.

“Daisy…”

“Please, I need to get this out. I don’t want it to turn into a screaming match,” I said. “I signed up for this. For all of this. And I know I said some really nasty things when I found out about the camera, but I’m happy here. For the most part. The thing standing in the way of my complete happiness is the rules, the secrecy, the filming. Joseph, we can’t be married if you keep things from me. How am I supposed to fully understand my role and my place here if you don’t explain all of it to me? And honestly, if you had asked about the camera, I probably would’ve told you yes,” I said, chuckling. “I mean, that’s kinda hot. I would’ve been into it. But it’s the fact that you did it behind my back. You secretly filmed me. It was...creepy and gross. You should’ve asked for my consent.”

There was a long pause as Joseph dissected my words. I glanced at Jacob, who gave my knee a reassuring squeeze. I could tell he was proud of me for speaking my mind and doing it honestly. I smiled at him and he glanced over at Joseph, who was watching the exchange with a blank expression. He sighed and glanced downwards, taking his hands from mine and rubbing his temples. 

“I’m sorry,” he said. “I worried that you’d be defiant. It was a poor lapse in judgement, but I’ll tell you everything from now on. Everything the Voice tells me will go into your ears as well. And perhaps you can help me understand it all.”

I nodded, tears filling my eyes that it had gone so well, that Joseph had actually listened to me. “Thank you, Joseph. Thank you so much.”

“Looks like you’re good, kids,” Jacob said. “I’ll head back to my bunker while you two...reconnect.” 

He winked at me and I smacked his arm as he passed. I stood and ran after him for a moment, before he walked out the doorway, and threw myself into his arms. He chuckled, hugging me tight, and planting a small kiss on my lips. 

“I’ll see you in two days, honey.”

“I love you.” 

It slipped out before I could stop it and I immediately tensed up in his arms. I closed my eyes, terrified I’d just ruined everything. What if Joseph got mad? What if all the peace I just helped build was shot down because of his jealousy again? Jacob even grew stiff as he held me and gently set me down.

“Hey,” he said, tilting my chin up. “Look at me.” I opened my eyes and saw the most vulnerable, happy expression on Jacob’s face that I’d ever witnessed. “I love you too, Daisy.”

He kissed me again and left. I didn’t want to turn to Joseph. I hadn’t really said those words to him, despite how many times he’d told me (and  _ large fucking crowds of people _ ) how much he loved me. I stood there, shaking, wondering if I ruined everything.

His hand touched my shoulder and I turned to see him smiling down at me. “Being in love suits you,” he said. 

“Joseph...I…”

“Hush. There’s no need to explain anything to me. Love is different for everyone, every relationship. Even if each of those relationships share a common factor.” 

“I do love you, Joseph,” I said. “It’s just been so hard lately that I’ve been feeling so empty with you. So...broken.”

“Well, we can fix that.”

He tilted my chin up and gently placed a kiss on my lips. I sighed into it, remembering our first kiss after he thought I was taken by the Resistance. I remembered our wedding, how giddy I was. And suddenly, like a dam breaking, everything flooded back to me and I was reminded why I agreed to marry him in the first place. 

He took me to bed. He worshiped my body, planting soft and gentle kisses on every scar, every freckle. When he pushed inside me, it felt so right, so comfortable. I found myself weeping as I came, his hand on the tight bundle of nerves between my legs, gently stroking. 

He came inside me and I felt whole again.


	29. Chapter 29

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh we got some gooooood smut up ahead everyone. Please enjoy! :)

I rolled over on the bed, looking at my husband as he sat at his desk across the room, scribbling furiously in his journal. I rested my chin on my hand and kicked my legs behind me a little bit, feeling bored. 

“Can we have a family dinner?” I asked. 

“Give me a moment, love.”

I sighed and rolled onto my back, looking up at the ceiling. I hadn’t put clothes on for two days. Technically, today was when I was supposed to go to Jacob, but he told us he was fine giving up his days that week if we needed to use it to reconnect. I wondered if John would let me spend his days with his older brother, but I doubted it. Even if he did, he’d have to throw a fit first because he was John Over Dramatic Seed.

Joseph finally finished whatever he was writing and came over to the bed, where I draped myself over him and pressed kisses to his face. He chuckled at my playful mood but indulged me, kissing me back and letting me curl up on his lap while he leaned against the headboard. 

“I’ve been thinking,” I said. “I want to spend time with you and your brothers. Together. I love all of you for so many different reasons and the idea of just getting to hang out with all three of you is very appealing.”

Joseph went silent and I glanced up at him to find he had a very creeped out expression on his face. “I don’t think I can do that with them, Daisy -”

“ _ Nope _ ,” I said almost immediately, cutting him off. “No. Nope. Not at all what I meant.”

“What did you mean, then?”

“I meant something like a family dinner or just a day where we all spend time together. No sex involved.”

Joseph breathed out what I felt was a sigh of relief. “I suppose that can be arranged.”

“But I don’t want anyone’s jealousy to get in the way of a good time.”

“Of course,” Joseph said. “I believe I can control it. Jacob has always prided himself on his control over his emotions. John…” he paused. “He might be another story.”

“I just think it would be nice. I rarely ever get to spend time with any of you in a strictly non-sexual way.”

We planned a date and a time before he radioed both his brothers. Of course, they both got the wrong idea right away. John, hilariously, seemed into it and I almost laughed at the shocked look on Joseph’s face before he took the radio from me and explained everything.

I wouldn’t mind having them fuck me all at once - in fact the idea made me wet just thinking about it - but if they were uncomfortable (which I really couldn’t blame them for) then of course it was the last thing I wanted to do.

We settled on two days from then. John insisted on bringing the food and Jacob said he’d bring some wine. I wondered what John had up his sleeve in terms of food, considering how he’d surprised me in the past with the stuff he had stored in his bunker. Joseph also invited Faith, who seemed hesitant to accept. Once Joseph assured her that I just wanted to get to know my family better, she agreed. For a moment I wondered if I’d married into a family of perverts, considering that was everyone’s first thought. 

I spent the next two days with Joseph, not even leaving our room. There was lots of sex, sure, but we were mostly talking. I told him a lot about my childhood, the good parts at least, and he told me about his. We talked about more serious things too but they didn’t cause a huge weight to drop over the enjoyment we felt as the result of planning for our family to spend time together. 

“What would we have named her?” I asked as we lay in bed, preparing to drift off to sleep.

“Who?”

“Our baby,” I replied.

Joseph sighed. “How are you so sure it was a girl?”

I shrugged. “It just felt like a girl, that’s all.”

Joseph planted a kiss to the top of my head. “I have always liked the name Hannah. Or Sarah.”

“You, with all the Biblical names,” I replied, teasing. 

He chuckled,“well what about you?”

“I wanted to name my first daughter Rose.”

“Another flower name?” 

I nodded. “We could’ve called her Rosie while she was a child, Rose when she got older.”

“It’s a pretty name. If we have a girl next time, we could always name her that.”

I shook my head, trying to ignore the pang in my chest. “No, there was only one Rosie. And she died in my stomach.” I sat up, looking down at him and running my fingers over his tattoos. “Jacob told me you had a daughter.”

Joseph’s eyes clouded over with sadness and I regretted bringing it up. “I did.”

“Why didn’t you tell me about her?”

“She’s also dead,” he said. 

“Oh…” my hand stopped and spread out over his heart. “I’m sorry.”

He told me the story. And for a moment, I felt horror and dread drip down my spine, so cold and dark and scary. But I could sense the pain and hurt in his eyes. I wondered if he regretted what he did, if he wished he’d taken care of the baby and raised her. I wondered if he really did kill her at all or if God took her away from him and that was the way he coped with it. I didn’t want to ask, I was almost scared of the answer. 

~

We spent a lot of time preparing for everyone to come over. Things went well for the most part, despite the fact that we were mostly cooking canned or instant foods, but it turned out to be a delicious feast. Faith came early to help me while Joseph did a sermon. 

“How is it all going?”

“Better,” I said. “We both just needed to talk it out.”

“Good,” she replied, smiling at me. “I’m glad.”

We got everything set up and waited. John and Jacob arrived at the same time and told us that Joseph was busy with the followers. John seemed glum, and I wonder if it was because he heard that I’d told Jacob I loved him. It was basically confirmed for me when Jacob made every effort not to touch me or sit near me or even hug me to say hello. So much for jealousy not ruining anything...

When Joseph joined us, we sat down to eat. Jacob opened the bottles of wine he brought and the conversation revolved mostly around the bunkers and how everything was going for each of them. Once dinner was done, John and Joseph offered to clean up and Faith decided to get started on dessert, leaving Jacob and I alone. 

“You doin’ okay?” he asked as he sat down on the floor next to me. 

“Yeah,” I replied. “Thanks for giving up your days.”

“Anything to make you happy, honey.”

The sincerity of his words hit me hard in the gut. He smiled at me and I let out a breath, wanting so desperately to kiss and touch him and tell him again how much I love him. 

“Jacob…” I muttered, looking up into his blue eyes. 

“Hm?” 

I leaned up and captured his lips. He let out a chuckle and a quiet noise of surprise, but didn’t push me away. I wrapped my arms around his neck and he wrapped his around my middle, pulling me closer to him. 

“Get a room,” John grumbled from the small kitchen. 

“John, we all love her, we all have the right to show it,” Joseph chided. 

I didn’t listen, just continued to kiss Jacob. When we finally did pull apart, I was breathless and my face was dusted with a blush that caused Jacob to chuckle at as he stroked my cheek.

“I love you, Jake,” I whispered. 

“Same goes for you, baby.”

John scoffed loudly at the nickname and I shot him a glare. 

We sat down to dessert and spent the rest of the night laughing and talking. It was odd, really. I reflected on the past few months - how much my life had changed. And for some reason, I couldn’t keep my eyes off Jacob. Every time he laughed or smiled or told a joke, my whole heart burst. It was more intense than I’d ever felt with Joseph or John. And I just wanted  _ more _ .

~

I spent the next two days with John, who complained constantly because his duties around his bunker were taking him away from me. Apparently something burst or was about to burst...it was a whole mess and John was very busy with figuring out how to handle it, so I spent most of the time in his room, reading the books he managed to save and waiting for him to come back.

“John, you there? Over.” Jacob’s voice crackled through the radio, causing me to smile. I got up and walked to John’s desk and pressed the button to respond to Jacob.

“Hi Jacob, this is Daisy. John’s out in the bunker fixing something, over.”

“And he just left you there alone? Over.” He was teasing me.

“It’s okay. I’m reading.”

“Sounds fun,” Jacob chuckled. “Well, if you’re too bored, let me know.”

It was my turn to laugh. “I doubt John would be happy with you interrupting one of his days with me.”

“True. But who cares what he thinks, huh?”

The idea was tempting. John had told me he would be gone for most of the day. I knew even Jacob wouldn’t disrespect his little brother so much to have sex in his bed, and that wasn’t what I wanted. I just wanted to spend time with him.

So I had him come over. When I heard his knock at the door a half hour later, I squealed and jumped into his arms to kiss him. We read some books and played some records that John had and I even got Jacob fucking Seed to dance with me. But when John came back, he was less than thrilled to see him.

“What are  _ you  _ doing here?”

“She was bored. We didn’t do anything other than hang out,” Jacob said. “Relax, John.”

“It’s  _ my  _ day today. You’ll get her on your days and then you two can hang out as much as you want.”

“I was bored, John,” I whined. 

“So you called my brother over here to fuck you and keep you occupied?”

I rolled my eyes. “We didn’t fuck, thank you very much. We’re not that rude.”

John smirked at me and I saw something in his eyes that made my stomach twist, but not in a bad way. He came over to me and put his hand on my neck, his thumb stroking the sensitive skin. “So you haven’t been taken care of yet today, have you?”

I shook my head and he leaned down and replaced his hand with his lips. I let out a gasp as his teeth nibbled at the skin, and he pulled me to him. I could feel he was hard already and I choked out a gasp as he pressed his erection into me. My eyes opened and I saw Jacob over John’s shoulder, who was watching with an uncomfortable yet slightly aroused look on his face.

_ Hold up, is he into a threesome or… _

John bit at my earlobe, distracting me for a moment, and I whimpered and bunched my fist in his shirt as he led me over to the bed and pushed me down onto it. 

“You’re welcome to share, brother,” John said with a laugh. “Unless you’re worried you’ll be bested in this.”

Jacob huffed a laugh and made his way to the bed, pulling his shirt off and taking his shoes off on the way over. I felt a thrill rushing through me at the fact that this was actually going to happen. John pulled my clothes off as Jacob settled his back against the headboard behind me. He wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me against him, bracketing me with his bent legs still clad in jeans as John spread my legs. 

His mouth found my clit quickly and I nearly jumped at the deliciously rough contact. Jacob played with my nipples and ground his erection against my back as he touched me and muttered dirty things into my ears.

“You like his mouth, huh, baby girl?”

I could only nod in response. His hand wrapped around my throat and he squeezed tightly. 

“Use your words.”

“Yes, daddy.”

John looked up between my legs at the title and smirked. “You’re even dirtier than I thought, Daisy.” 

“Of course she is,” Jacob replied with a laugh. “You don’t know how to bring that out in her, huh?”

John rolled his eyes and continued his assault on my cunt as Jacob bit at my earlobe. I whimpered as I felt my end building up, the pleasure growing more and more intense as John’s tongue worked on my clit. When he pulled away, I wanted to scream.

“Oh, that’s cruel,” Jacob said with a laugh as his fingers took the place of John’s mouth. “She’s being such a good girl, we should let her come.”

“She works for her rewards in this bedroom, brother. Can’t say she’s worked all that hard.” 

He pulled me to the end of the bed and commanded me to get on my knees facing Jacob. I did as I was told, and he smacked my ass roughly as Jacob started stroking himself through his jeans. My mouth watered as I looked at the bulge and he smirked at me.

“You want daddy’s cock in your mouth?” 

“Yes, please.”

He popped the button on his jeans as he made his way to the end of the bed before he pulled it out and pressed it against my lips. I hesitated for a moment and he muttered that he’d go slow and not to worry. 

“Look at that mouth,” Jacob growled as his finger traced my stretched lips. “Good girl.”

John smacked my ass as I continued to suck Jacob off, but after a few more slaps, he decided he wanted to fuck me and pulled his hard cock from his pants and worked it into my dripping pussy. Everything was so overwhelming, all the hands and the growls and grunts and I felt so fucking full as I continued to work Jacob’s cock with my mouth and hand while John fucked me roughly from behind. 

“Switch,” John said after a while. “I want to feel what it’s like to have that pretty mouth around my cock.”

Jacob glanced at me to make sure it was okay. I nodded and he lifted me like I weighed nothing, turning me so I was facing John, who pressed his cock against my lips just as Jacob thrust deep into me. I let out a moan at the feeling as he stretched me just a bit more than John had, and at the sound, John’s hand wrapped into my hair and pulled me towards his aching member. 

He groaned as I sucked on his cock and muttered praise into my ear. Jacob’s hand reached around my body so he could finger my clit and I whimpered at the feeling, desperate to make it to the orgasm I’d been denied earlier. John smirked and pulled my hair tighter.

“Such a dirty girl, aren’t you?” he asked. “You love having the both of us, don’t you?”

My pussy clenched and Jacob laughed. “Yes, she does.”

John held my head in place and began to slowly fuck my throat. Jacob slowed down a bit for a moment as he watched, to make sure I was okay with everything, which I appreciated greatly. When he saw I was fine, he continued his harsh pace and I felt myself racing toward the edge. 

“Are you gonna come on his cock?” John asked.

I could only moan in response and John smirked as he continued to thrust into my mouth. I could feel Jacob starting to lose control, too. I whined and felt desperate, overwhelmed, and so incredibly satisfied all at once as my end approached. Jacob’s hips stuttered and his fingers pressed harder on my clit and I came with a cry as I kept my mouth on John’s cock. 

“Fuck yes, keep going, sweetheart. Oh, fuck.”

John came down my throat moments later and I swallowed it all. Once Jacob saw that John was done, he pulled me into his lap with my back pressed against his chest and pounded roughly into me, his fingers on my clit and fuck, did it feel good. 

“Come on, baby, one more time,” he growled. 

I nodded and came again without much effort, and as soon as I did, Jacob pulled out of me and came all over my back with a loud grunt. I leaned back into him as he kissed my neck before all my bones became jelly and I slumped forward from exhaustion. John caught me before I hit the bed and handed Jacob some tissues to clean me up with. After that, John pulled me onto the bed, to his side, and Jacob laid on the other side, facing me, nuzzling my neck. 

“We’re doing that again,” I said. 

Jacob chuckled. “Whatever you want, baby girl.”

“I’ll crash Jacob’s day next time,” John replied and I let out a laugh. 

“I love you both so fucking much, holy shit.”

With that, I closed my eyes and immediately fell asleep.


	30. Chapter 30

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, THANK YOU for all the comments and kudos!!! You all have no idea how much they make my whole day!! I've started posting again and I've been doing it so quickly that I hadn't had time to properly thank you all!! Anyway, here's another smutty chapter. Hope you enjoy! ;)

It became a bit of a habit to have both Jacob and John at the same time for a good month. It worked well because Jacob wasn’t so much into seeing it as a competition, so John stopped trying to make it one. Eventually, though, my husband had to find out about it because of course he did, and of course he had to find out in one of the most awkward ways possible because that’s just how things work for me, I suppose.

They had me tied to John’s bed with a blindfold over my eyes. My wrists were bound together and tied to the headboard of the bed above me. John was in front of me, pounding my pussy, while Jacob was behind me, my back was pressed against his front as he fucked my ass, which was something we’d heavily discussed prior and they’d both worked with me on it when I was alone with them, and went slow the first time I got double penetrated, but after a few times, I was already a pro (according to Jacob). My blindfold had fallen down to my neck, so I watched as the door opened and my voice just froze in my throat as I saw who walked in.

Joseph stood there with wide eyes, as he was probably expecting me to be at Jacob’s that day, and paused when he took in the scene in front of him. At first, John and Jacob didn’t notice him, and I wondered for a moment if he’d say fuck it and join in. Which was stupid of me, really. But I still held out hope. 

Instead, I watched his eyes darken with anger, not lust. 

“What is going on here?” he asked, and John jumped at the sound of his brother’s voice and pulled out of me, finding a blanket to cover himself. 

Jacob eased out of me (because we all know it would’ve been bad otherwise), and didn’t even cover himself as he cut the ropes to free my arms and put his Army jacket over me to cover me up. I mumbled a thank you as he pulled on a pair of boxers and sat down on the bed near me, while John stood with the sheet still over him, head bowed in shame.

“How long has this been going on?” Joseph asked. 

“About a month,” Jacob replied.

“And I wasn’t informed about this for what reason?” 

“You always seemed freaked out at the idea,” I said, my voice smaller than I would have liked. “I just assumed you didn’t want to take part in it.”

“You assumed correctly,” Joseph said. “But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t have told me what was going on so I didn’t have to walk in and witness this...specticle. Whose idea was it, anyway?”

“Daisy’s,” John said automatically, ignoring my death glare that I shot at him.

“It was John’s. And don’t give me that look, you’re the one who started making out with me while Jacob was here.”

“We’re using protection,” Jacob said after a moment. “We’re not doing anything wrong.”

“Well, you’re both getting double the time with her than I am. And I’m her husband.”

Okay, that was fair. I had nothing to say to that, because he had a reason to actually be upset this time (who would’ve known!), but I wished this didn’t have to be a discussion at all. I wished he could have seen it, shrugged, and walked away. Or joined us. But that didn’t seem to be in the cards at this point.

“Finish up whatever you were doing before I got here,” Joseph said. “I’ll wait.”

I frowned. What the fuck? Was he going to sit there and watch? Was he okay with all of this? My questions were answered as he took a seat at John’s desk and waited for us to do something. 

“Wait, what?” John asked. 

“I’d like to observe what these activities entail. Do I have all your permission?”

I glanced at Jacob, who rolled his eyes but nodded, and John, who did the same thing. I took a look at my husband, who was waiting for me to say yes or no. I nodded. Joseph thanked us and told us to resume what we were doing again.

It was all a little awkward at first, especially because Jacob had to do some work to make sure we could get back to where we were before. But once I felt them both inside of me again, I was right back near the edge of oblivion. My hands were free and I was able to wrap them around John’s shoulders as he fucked me. Jacob’s fingers teased at my clit while he took me from behind and I bit back a moan as he pressed his other hand to my neck. 

“Let me hear those pretty moans, baby girl,” Jacob growled into my ear. 

“You’re so wet,” John said with a smirk. “You must like having an audience.”

I whimpered against him as Jacob played with my clit and I could feel the edge getting closer and closer. I stole a glance at Joseph and I could see he had an erection by the bulge in his pants. I wanted him in my mouth desperately. I wanted to get filled up and fucked in every place possible. As I thought about it, it was like he could read my mind as his eyes met mine and I nearly started to drool. He cleared his throat and stood, making his way over to the bed. 

He ran a hand down my face as he looked at me before he slipped a finger into my mouth. I whimpered around the digit and lapped at it greedily, sucking hard and nibbling the tip of his finger. He shuddered before he pulled his hand away from me and he opened his pants. He pulled his cock free from restraint and moved things around a little bit so he could be at level with my mouth. 

“That’s good, Daisy, so good,” he whispered as I sucked him off. 

John was the first to come all over my stomach and chest - he’d taken the condom off when Joseph first appeared so he couldn’t come inside me this time. Jacob followed and came inside me, since he didn’t have to worry about that. And then Joseph came down my throat as Jacob continued to rub my clit and my entire body clenched at the glorious feeling. 

By the time it was over, though, Joseph still didn’t seem pleased, but he kept it to himself as he cleaned himself up and then glanced at the three of us. “If you’d be so kind as to let me know the next time this takes place, so I don’t walk into something I’m not at all prepared for, I would be grateful.”

He left us there, and Jacob pulled me close to him while John tried to get me closer to his side of the bed. I wondered what the next day would bring as I fell asleep between the two of them.

~

When I was back in my room on my days with Joseph, I could tell he was very focused on his sermon so I didn’t bother him much. He spent most of the day writing and editing it, and finally when he was done, he looked at me. 

“I’m sorry if the other day was weird,” I said before he could speak. “I know you’d said in the past that you weren’t comfortable with that and I didn’t mean for you to get sucked into it.” 

I winced, hard, at my fucking word choice. Which, thankfully, caused my husband to laugh and lighten the mood. 

“It’s completely alright, Daisy. I enjoyed myself that day, and I could have left at any point. I’d just appreciate knowing about it before I stumble upon it myself.”

I was...shocked. This he wasn’t even worried about, but he’d been worried about the specific way in which I fucked Jacob the first time? I didn’t really know what to say, the man was such an enigma. I merely nodded and told him I’d let him know. 

He took me for himself that night, though, and I moaned as he thrust inside me and muttered words about filling me up, getting me pregnant again, about how beautiful I would be as a mother. He hadn’t really brought up babies in a while, probably letting me heal from the miscarraige, but this time it felt right. I fell asleep with a smile on my face as I listened to his heartbeat.


	31. Chapter 31

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much if you've read this far!! There's a bit of a time jump here. Enjoy!

While I’d gone to bed that night excited for the prospect of having Joseph’s child, that feeling of excitement grew into something darker over the next two years as I went through five more failed pregnancies. Joseph grew worried that  _ he  _ was the reason the babies were dying inside me, that there was some sin he was getting punished for and God was not communicating it with him. He even went so far as to blame the one time he had a foursome with us as the reason we could not have children, and started to slip into his old ways of possessiveness and envy but Jacob sat him down and talked to him.

But tension was growing between the brothers, too. Especially since Jacob and John wanted to have babies, too, but they couldn’t until I successfully gave birth to Joseph’s child. The fact that Joseph’s children kept dying inside of me meant they had to keep pushing back starting a family, which really wasn’t making things any easier. 

As the months grew into years, Joseph and John became almost unbearable to be around. Joseph was only focused on this task of having a child with me, so he grew controlling about what I ate, what I did after we had sex, would command me to stay in bed with my legs against the headboard for hours at a time. It was tiring and almost too much, especially once the sex started to feel more like a medical procedure than actual sex.

John complained most of the time, unless we were having sex. He complained about his work, complained about the fact that he wanted a baby, too. He came up with the theory that Joseph was infertile and that he needed to face that or else no one would get to have babies. I felt like that was the constant talk - babies, babies, fucking babies. He also grew more possessive if he ever joined a session with Jacob and I. He’d piss Jacob off on purpose, but thankfully the older man kept himself in check most of the time. 

It didn’t help that his jealousy would spike whenever he saw how much closer I was with Jacob than him. All he did was drop insults about his oldest brother, which were all completely uncalled for, and then would get angry at me when I defended Jacob. All we did was fight, and whenever we got together as a family, John and Joseph both grumbled under their breath to each other or shared annoyed looks when Jacob kissed my head or my cheek. Then they’d start competing for my affection like it was the fucking Romance Olympics. 

Jacob was the only brother who took my emotional state into consideration. John’s constant yelling caused me to fold into myself and I’d start to panic like I did the first time Joseph screamed at me for not sleeping in his bed. So I’d leave him and go to Joseph, who wouldn’t take the fact that I was exhausted from dealing with John’s behavior into consideration. He’d yell at me occasionally too, and only seemed to notice how much it affected me when I started having flashbacks. 

Then I’d go to Jacob’s, and he would let me act however I needed to do to heal from spending time with his brothers. He’d grit his jaw as he watched me color or whatever I wanted to do that calmed me down after those episodes, and I could tell it was taking all his will power not to go and beat the shit out of both of them.

The only times I laughed were with Jacob at that point. And it hurt me to even notice that or think it. I wished more and more that Joseph would just leave me for someone else and then I could get away with him and spend the rest of my life with Jacob.

A few months after my last failed pregnancy, which only made it to three months, I got pregnant  _ again _ . And what was once a happy announcement we shared with our family became something worrying. Would the baby survive this time? Would John and Jacob finally get a shot at having a family too? No more cheers and champagne. No more joyful announcements during sermons. In fact, we tried to keep it as secret as possible. I wore loose fitting outfits to hide any sign of a baby bump, I held things in front of my swollen belly when I could. 

This pregnancy though, Joseph insisted was different. There were no issues throughout it, and finally when I was nearing the end of my term, he started to relax. I attended one of his sermons and sat next to Jacob, who held my hand as we listened to Joseph. I’d woken up feeling off, and I wasn’t sure what it was, but out of nowhere, a sharp pain hit my stomach and I felt something gush out between my legs. 

I let out a soft whimper, desperate not to let anyone know what was wrong with me. The idea of having a miscarriage in front of all the followers and my friends was too much. I looked out to the audience and I saw that a few of my friends were watching me, all with concerned looks on their faces, but said nothing as Joseph continued to preach. 

Jacob was the one who noticed. He heard me whimper and glanced over, seeing my shaking and sweating body. 

“What’s wrong?” he asked.

“I don’t know,” I whispered back, my voice strained with pain. “I don’t think it’s good though, Jake.”

Without even a thought, he stood and lifted me in his arms, sprinting down the few stairs and pushing random Peggies out of the way. I buried my head in his shirt and let out a wail as Joseph called after us, asking what was wrong. 

Jacob had been training with some of the doctors so he could take better care of me when I was pregnant, so he took me to his room and laid me down on the bed while I screamed in pain. We all thought I was going to make it this time. I could see the heartbreak in Jacob’s eyes as he sterilized his hands and grabbed the large medical bag the doctor had given him. He pushed the dress up over my huge belly and pulled my panties down. 

“Jesus,” he muttered. 

“W-what?” I asked.

“You’re dilated.”

“ _ What _ ?!”

“Shit. You’re gonna have to deliver it.”

“N-no. Jacob, please tell me you’re making a sick joke.”

He looked up at me with a broken expression and I began to weep. I was so close to my due date. I was so ready to finally have the baby I’d wanted. I was ready to stop hearing John complain and to stop dealing with the tension between me and Joseph, but now I had to deliver a corpse. I couldn’t handle it.

I let out a scream as a horrific contraction ripped through me. Jacob radioed two more doctors to come immediately, and thankfully, got a response. They arrived thirty minutes later, as Jacob was telling me to  _ push, push, push, baby girl, push. That’s it, baby. That’s it. Okay, again. Push. You’re doing so well, honey, you’re so strong, you can do it. That’s it. Good. Good job. It’s okay, baby, I’m here.  _

The doctors knocked him out of the way and took over and he watched, looking helpless and staring at me with pain in his eyes. He held my hand once he removed the bloody gloves and I squeezed it hard as pain coursed through me again and again. There was so much blood. I could barely feel anything, like my whole body had gone numb.

“Daisy, we need you to push again,” one of the medics said. “Daisy?”


	32. Chapter 32

I woke up...several days? several weeks? later. I wasn't even sure. My whole body ached and I felt like a hole had torn through my entire being. I tried to sit up, but hands touched my shoulders and a voice murmured for me to lie back down. I heard a slight wailing in the distance, like a child’s. A baby’s. Was...that my baby? Was it alive? 

~

“He needs to eat, dammit.” 

“Jacob, we have milk here.”

“He’s allergic to cow’s milk, we can’t give him that. He’s barely alive as it is.”

I opened my eyes to the sound of voices and glanced around. Loud cries rang out and Jacob held a bundle, looking overwhelmed, tired, frustrated. He shushed the bundle, told it everything’s gonna be okay, he’d get some milk soon.

“J-Jacob?”

“She’s awake,” Jacob called before coming over to me, sitting on the bed and checking my temperature with his free hand. The bundle in his arm was so small. 

“Is that…”

“This is your son, Daisy,” he said with a smile. 

He helped me sit up and handed me the bundle, and I saw the little face of my son cocooned in blankets, wailing up at me. 

Joseph appeared in the doorway, along with John and Faith. I let out a sob. The baby was unhealthy, should’ve been in a preemies unit in a hospital. But he was there. He was real. He was perfect. I wanted to clutch him to me tightly and never, ever let go. 

“He needs milk, Daisy,” Jacob said after a moment. “Can you handle that?”

I nodded and he helped me lift my shirt. It was then that I realized I was wearing one of his old army shirts. With nothing underneath. I blushed but said nothing, the rest of me hidden by a blanket. As soon as the baby latched on to my nipple, I let out a cry of pain.

“Is it supposed to hurt this much?” I gasped. 

“You’ve been out for a couple days, we couldn’t find a breast pump,” Jacob said. 

“How...how is he alive? Wasn’t there...wasn’t there blood? Like, a _lot_ of blood?”

Jacob let out a sigh. “Turns out you were carrying twins. You lost the other one, and because of that your body was trying to get it out, so the doctors decided it was time to push ‘em both out.”

The baby’s mouth hurt as it sucked on the sensitive skin. I saw my nipple was swollen and purple and I nearly vomited. Everything hurt more than it was supposed to and I cried as he kept devouring my milk and Jacob ran his hands through my hair to calm me. 

I didn’t look at John or my husband. My chest was tight as I looked up at Jacob, who smiled down at me lovingly.

“How’d you know he’s allergic to other milk?”

“John fed it to him and he nearly choked to death.”

I glared at John, who growled. “You make it sound like I was trying to kill the thing. I was helping it.”

“The thing?” Jacob asked. “That’s what you’re calling him?”

“It looks like an alien.”

“Yeah, because he was born a month early. That’s your fucking nephew.”

“Well, you don’t have a name for it yet so what am I supposed to do?”

At that point, I caught Joseph’s eye. He looked at me with a distant expression, as if his mind was anywhere but in the moment. Anger boiled up inside of me. What could possibly be more important than his son? What could possibly be on his mind that was distracting him? Tears welled up in my eyes and I let out a sob as the baby continued to feed. 

I looked at Joseph again after Jacob burped the baby for me while John watched Jacob with an annoyed expression. Joseph remained distant, his expression getting more pained over the half hour that Jacob put the baby down and came back to brief me on what the doctors had said in terms of the baby’s health. 

No one acknowledged Joseph’s mood, or the fact that he seemed to have no interest in his new son, despite the fact that we’d been trying for two fucking years and none of the attempts had been successful. The more I watched him, the more angry I got. Was he thinking about killing the baby? Was the baby not perfect enough for him? Was he going to do what he’d done to his daughter to our son?

Finally, I snapped. “Joseph,” I growled, interrupting whatever the hell Jacob was talking to me about. 

My husband’s eyes flicked towards me but his expression didn’t change. “Yes, love?”

His voice even sounded off. Anger bled through my whole body. “Your son was just in this room and you couldn’t have given two shits about him.”

Joseph sighed and rested his head in his hands. “That’s not my son,” he muttered.

Fury alighted within me. Jacob could tell I was furious, so he put his hand on my shoulder to try and calm me down. 

“What the fuck does that mean?”

“It means he’s not my son, Daisy.”

“Who else’s son would it be, Joseph? I mean, _Jesus Christ_.”

He glanced between me and Jacob, then at John. “Well, you are sleeping with three different people, Daisy.”

My hands balled into fists as I stared at him. “I’ve been following the goddamn rules, Joseph. I’ve been doing everything you ask. Not once have either of them come inside me, despite the fact that I want them to. The only time it happened was that slip up with Jacob. Two years ago. If Jacob comes inside me, he’s wearing a condom. So I don’t know where the hell you’re getting that idea.”

“Condoms don’t always work, Daisy,” Joseph said. “You really think I didn’t know about the condom breaking?”

Hot tears welled up in my eyes. Jacob looked at his hands, shame painted on his face as he refused to meet Joseph’s gaze. John stood and grabbed something on the desk before he threw it across the room. I let out a weak sob as the baby’s cries filled my ears and the youngest Seed brother paced the room. Joseph remained where he was, looking at me as if it was my fault and everything was ruined because of me. 

Sure, yes. I wanted to tell him when the condom broke. Jacob told me we shouldn’t worry him. When the doctor’s examined me, they said I was pregnant for a month and a half, which was earlier than Jacob and I had the sex where the condom broke. But maybe they were wrong? There wasn’t really any way of knowing without the proper medical equipment. Jacob stood to go get the baby and Joseph’s eyes were fixated on me, his gaze harsh.

“So, what? Jacob gets a fucking baby and I’m still here, like a fool, following the rules?” John yelled as Jacob came in, holding the baby and trying to get him to calm down. 

“John, you’re upsetting him,” I growled. 

“Just admit it, Daisy,” he said. 

“Admit _what_?” 

“You want Jacob more than you want either of us.”

There was a harsh, tense silence. Even the baby quieted down. Tears filled my eyes and I didn’t even know what to say or do. I’d ruined everything for Joseph, John was just a whiny little mess all the time since he wanted a kid, too, and had been whiny for the past two years about not being able to start our family. Jacob was focusing his attention on my son...our son...and all the sudden, everything felt like it was too much for me to handle.

“I didn’t sign up for this,” I said, breathless. The world was spinning and I couldn’t inhale enough air for my lungs. “I signed up to be with all of you, to give birth to your babies, but I did not sign up for the constant jealousy, possessiveness and manipulation.”

Jacob put the baby back in his crib and rubbed his hand on my back as my panic attack spiraled out of control. I was convinced I was going to die. I was going to die in that fucking bunker with those assholes and there was nothing I could do about it. Tears poured down my cheeks and I just…

Jacob’s fingers brought me back to reality. I began to even out my breathing. He pressed a kiss to my temple as he rubbed my back, muttering that everything was okay. We were going to figure it out. 

John was still looking at me, fury on his face. “Jacob is the only one of you who actually cares about me,” I said, my voice still shaking and breathless. “He just enjoys spending time with me. He doesn’t make me have sex to impregnate me, he doesn’t spend our time together bitching about how close I am to you two. Joseph, I can’t even remember the last time you just had dinner with me. And John, I’m exhausted hearing about how you want to start your own family. I don’t think it matters if it's with me or not.”

“It _does_ matter,” he growled. “That’s the _point_.”

“It’s because you can’t have it. Because of Joseph’s bullshit rule. That’s the only reason you want it so bad.”

“I love you, Daisy,” he said as he stalked over to me. “So does Joseph. And you neglect us all the time to be with this old man.” John sneered at his brother, waiting for him to give in and start fighting too.

Jacob said nothing, though, and it infuriated John even more. John grabbed him by his shirt, shouting at him. The baby started crying again as John screamed at Jacob, saying that no one could really love him, that he was too fucked up to be a good father, that he was going to ruin the baby’s life because of his PTSD and their parents. 

The baby continued to cry from the other room at the noise and I moved, desperate to help it, to shield it from all the negativity swirling in this room. Faith caught my eye and I nodded at her. She picked the baby up gently and glanced at me. I mouthed for her to leave, to bring the baby somewhere quieter, somewhere he can sleep. As the door closed behind her, John was still screaming at Jacob, spit flying onto Jacob’s face.

I could tell it was taking all of Jacob’s willpower not to snap back at him. He knew it was part of the reason I loved him so much, that he didn’t do what his brother’s always did. That he was different. That he cared about me and wanted me to be happy, whether that meant having his baby or Joseph’s or John’s. 

I tried to even out my breathing, worked on some techniques Jacob had come up with for me when the yelling got to be too much. I covered my ears and evened my breathing and closed my eyes, anything to get away from the situation at hand. 

Joseph joined in after a while, in an attempt to get John to stop, telling him that he was upsetting me. But that just got John more angry, and he yelled that it was bullshit for him to marry me, to claim me as his bride publicly while he and Jacob had to fuck me like they were my mistresses. He proclaimed how much he loved me, shouting declarations of wanting to be with me and how well he would take care of me and satisfy me and make me happy. 

Jacob continued to say nothing, and then John and Joseph began to argue. I watched the whole thing, my body aching, my mind on fire from the events of the last several days. John threw something else across the room, demanded that he should be able to marry me, too. He yelled that he and Jacob should have that right and screamed that he didn’t care what the Bible fucking said about it. I closed my eyes, waiting for them to finish up their stupid spat.

“I want a fucking _divorce!_ ” I shouted, silencing them. 

They all paused and looked back at me. Jacob’s eyebrow was raised, John looked relieved, like he was finally going to get what he wants. And Joseph...looked positively broken.

“What?” he asked, his voice cracking as he looked at me.

“I can’t do this, Joseph. I just...I can’t. It’s toxic and it’s disgusting. I hate it. And you know what? I don’t want to raise my baby in New Eden. I want to raise my child however I damn well please and I don’t want you policing me.”

John smiled. “She wants a real man who can provide for her.”

I glared at him. “I don’t want to marry you either, John, so shut the fuck up about that.”

John’s face fell and I did feel bad, but I was tired of doing exactly what they want. Over the past two years, it was like my life didn’t even matter. The only thing that mattered was my womb and who had claim over it. John never asked about my past, or what I was feeling, or if I needed to talk about anything. And the more I got to know my husband, the more I saw that he didn’t even want to share me at all. He was just doing what the Voice told him to. He wanted me all to himself and after seeing the way he looked at me when he told me the child belonged to Jacob, I knew that he was never going to be happy in this union. And neither was I.

“Daisy, please, I think you’re just-”

“No,” I said as Joseph came towards me. “This is my life, too. You’ve taken any free will I had and stomped it out.”

“Daisy.”

“I want a divorce.”

“So you’ll just raise your child alone?”

Jacob glanced up at that, a question of where the hell Joseph got that from written plain on his face. 

“No. I’ll have Jacob with me.”

John barked out a bitter, angry laugh. “I fucking knew it. I knew it. You love him more than you ever loved either of us.”

“I’ve already fucking explained this,” I said, my patience wearing very thin. 

Jesus Christ I was tired. I was physically exhausted from the trauma my body had gone through, and despite the fact that I’d married Joseph for peace, it was like there was no such thing. While the fighting had ended between the Resistance and the Peggies, it never stopped between the four of us. It wasn’t healthy anymore, it wasn’t something I could live with anymore, either. I was tired of not speaking my mind and not telling them exactly what I needed and how I felt. 

“The only thing you two see me as is a mother for your children. That’s it. You don't take me into consideration, ever. You just take from me what you want. I’m tired of it. Jacob talks to me. Jacob knows me better than either of you and he loves me more than either of you do, too.”

“You’re going to regret this,” John hissed.

I could see the evil look in his eyes, the kind he got when he was torturing me and Hudson. My hands shook. Jacob stood, moving over to John and pushing him against the wall, his strength still there due to his rigorous workout routine that he refused to stop, even deep in the bunker. 

“Did you just threaten her?” Jacob asked. 

“Of course not, brother,” John said, his tone a very fake but creepy type of pleasant. “But what are you going to do if I did, hmm? Kill me? I don’t think she’d like that very much, now would she?”

Joseph broke up the fight between them and sent them out of the room to talk to me privately once they’d moved on. He sat on the bed and grasped my hand in his. I loved him, it was true. But I couldn’t do it anymore. Our relationship was too painful for me to even consider continuing. I just wanted Jacob.

We talked for an hour. He cried, I cried. I was so exhausted by the end of it, but I allowed John to come talk to me, too. I loved him, too. I loved all three of them more than any words could describe. But the fact that the only baby that survived was Jacob’s instead of Joseph’s, it was a clear sign to me. It was the world telling me that Jacob was the one I was meant to be with all along. 

John was remarkably calm when I told him how I felt and explained why I needed to be with Jacob. He understood. He kissed me deeply before he left and my stomach got butterflies like it used to before all this chaos happened.

When he left, Jacob and Faith came back in with the baby. Faith hugged me and kissed my head before she leaves. And then Jacob got on the bed and I relaxed into his embrace as I held our son. It was then that I noticed the small tufts of red hair on his head. I smiled up at Jacob and he kissed me.


	33. Chapter 33

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're getting somewhat close to the end. I've gotta say, I sincerely did not expect to get any kudos or comments or anything like this. I appreciate them so much, and I thank you all for reading this far!! I've really enjoyed writing Daisy and I know I put her through hell, but I think things are gonna get a little brighter for her. :)

I moved all my things to Jacob’s bunker. Joseph told me he’d leave the two of us alone for a while, but by that, he just meant me. Jacob still had stuff to do around the bunkers and he still had to meet with Joseph regularly. But he also said he and John would take care of the baby whenever we needed some time to ourselves. The idea scared me - I didn’t trust John with him because of his jealousy, and the last baby Joseph had in his care was killed...by him. I thanked him for the kind offer and that was that. I planned on having the Ryes do it or Faith, if they were busy.

Jacob had breakfast with his siblings every day. Usually it went relatively well but one morning, about two months later, he returned home looking flustered and angry. He slammed the door behind him and the baby started crying, the loud noise frightening him.

“What happened?” I asked. 

Jacob lifted the baby into his arms and calmed him down. “Fucking John.”

“It’s always John, isn’t it?” 

Jacob sat on the bed with the baby, a small smile on his lips as our son cooed at him. “He’s going around telling everyone all these lies.”

“Like what?”

“He’s saying that I’ve brainwashed you.”

I sighed and stood. “So does his whole bunker think that?”

“Yeah,” Jacob replied. “I saw Kim and Nick on the way to breakfast and they looked at me like I was the Devil. Like they hadn’t just watched Mason two nights ago.”

“Well, I’ll talk to them.”

Jacob huffed but nodded, and that was the end of the conversation. We put Mason down for his nap and Jacob tugged me onto his lap. 

“Jake, not here,” I whispered, desperate not to wake the baby up. 

“He’s asleep,” Jacob breathed on my neck before nipping it and licking at the mark he left behind. “Fuck, you look good as a mom.”

I smiled. “You look pretty good too, daddy.”

He growled lightly in my ear as his fingers lifted my skirt and I put my hand to my mouth, desperate not to moan and ruin everything. We only had three uninterrupted rounds of sex since Mason was born and that was only because the Ryes took him two nights ago. 

I stood, despite Jacob’s quiet protests, and led him to the bathroom, making sure Mason couldn’t get out of the makeshift crib we had for him. The second the door closed, Jacob lifted me and set me on the sink, his mouth attacking my neck. I let out a quiet moan and thrust myself against his clothed cock. 

He got me desperate and quietly begging for him to fuck me not even ten minutes later. He thrust into me roughly and I keened as he grunted into my ear, calling me his good girl and telling me how well I take his cock. I was about to come when a knock on the door interrupted us and woke up Mason, who started crying. 

“Fuck,” Jacob growled, still inside me. “Ignore ‘em.”

“What if it’s important, Jacob?”

“Nothing’s more important than me fucking you raw right now, sweetheart.”

I let out a whine and he trust up into me again and he just began to set a new rhythm when the knock sounded again. Mason let out another noise, as if annoyed that his nap was getting interrupted and telling us to answer the damn door already. 

Jacob’s fist slammed down on the counter next to me as he composed himself for a moment, head resting on my shoulder while he evened out his breathing, before tucking his erection back into his jeans. I fixed my skirt and we walked out of the bathroom to the door, and I picked Mason up as the knocking continued. 

“What?” Jacob growled as he opened the door. 

His eyes went wide with surprise when he saw who was standing there, before narrowing. I couldn’t see from where I was standing, but clearly it was not good. 

“Where is she?”

Staci. 

_God-fucking-damnit._

“Pratt, relax.” 

Joey’s voice wafted through the room as Staci pushed past Jacob to see me standing there, holding our child. Joey and Whitehorse followed him and looked apologetic, but also extremely out of breath. 

“He just kept running, we couldn’t catch up with him in time,” she explained.

“What do you even want, Peaches?” Jacob asked.

Staci stared at Mason, shaking his head. Then his eyes wandered to me, and he took in my disheveled appearance. 

“Oh, did we interrupt something?” he asked, causing Whitehorse and Joey to shift uncomfortably.

“You did, actually,” Jacob growled as he continued to hold the door open. I shot a look at him, warning him not to do what I knew he was about to. “Mason had just gone down for a nap, and we were fucking.”

Pratt’s eyes widened as he looked at me. “Jesus Christ. I knew you were a slut.”

“She’s a slut because she wants to have sex?” Joey asked. Oh, Pratt had just kicked the hornet’s nest and I was so thrilled I couldn’t stop the smirk that crawled across my lips. “Or is it just because she doesn’t want to have sex with you?”

Pratt scoffed. “I bet you imagine it’s me, don’t you, Daisy?”

Jacob’s nostrils flared as his hands clenched into fists at his side. If it wasn’t for Mason, he would’ve attacked Pratt right there...and I would’ve paid good money to see that, honestly.

“I like my men to have a little muscle, Staci,” I growled back. “I don’t like weak, pathetic jerks who get girls drunk to get laid.”

“Wow,” Pratt said. “The Ryes are right. You’re brainwashed. Cull the herd, right, Rook? The weak have their purpose?”

“That’s not what she was saying, Pratt,” Joey said. “She’s saying you’re garbage and she wants you to leave her alone. Why’d you even come here?”

“Had to see the little monster for myself, ” Pratt said. 

He leaned forward, extending his arm to touch the baby. I moved away from him - he was insane to think I’d let him near Mason. He glared at me for a brief second before he chuckled lowly and darkly, and not at all unlike John, which creeped me the fuck out.

“That could’ve been my baby, Rook.”

“In your wildest fucking dreams, maybe.”

He left with that, shaking his head. Whitehorse followed him and I could hear him yelling at Pratt in the hallway. Joey stayed behind, looking at me with sad eyes. But she was also eyeing the baby. He had grown healthier the past couple months, and he was finally looking like he should for his size. Jacob kept his eyes on Joey, still not trusting anyone from the Resistance except the Ryes, and that was solely because they themselves had a baby, too. 

“I’m so sorry,” she said after a moment. “What’s his name?”

“Mason,” I said, a small smile on my face. “You wanna hold him?”

“Sure,” she said. She took him in her arms and smiled down at him. “Let’s hope he doesn’t sprout his dad’s facial hair in a few weeks, huh?” 

I tensed, looking at Jacob, who just chuckled at the joke. I let out a breath and Hudson smiled at me. She stayed for a little while longer, playing with the baby and catching up with me. Jacob sat in the corner, whittling a piece of wood he’d been working on for a little while. 

“I’m sorry about Pratt,” she said. “He’s getting kinda nuts down here. I know he creeped you out before this whole thing started, but now he’s just...even worse.”

“How so?” Jacob asked from across the room.

“He talks about you. A lot,” she said, pointing at Jacob. “And you, too, Daisy. It’s like he’s obsessed with your relationship. He’s always asking stuff like ‘you think he even plays with the kid?’ or ‘you think she helps him trim his beard?’...really random, weird, oddly specific things like that. And Daisy, when he talks about you, it’s like he’s made up this whole relationship in his head. Like you left him for the Seeds.”

I shuddered. “I’m so sick of this shit,” I growled. Mason seemed to sense my distress and looked at me with curious eyes. “This possessive, psychotic crap that him, John and Joseph keep pulling.”

“That why you left ‘em?” She asked. 

“They were controlling psychos,” I said. “Joseph had to know every detail about the days I spent with Jacob and John. How many times we fucked, how many times they got rough with me, how many different positions we did…”

“Okay, that’s fucking _gross_.”

“It was...exhausting. And all John did was complain about my relationship with Jacob and how Joseph wouldn’t let him start a family with me. All I was to them was a womb they wanted to fill.”

Joey stole a glance at Jacob, who was clearly pretending not to listen. “And he’s not like that?”

“No,” I replied. “He loves me. He takes care of me, takes care of Mason.”

“And you love him?”

“Yes,” I said. “I know you think I’m crazy, Joey. I’m sure everyone does. But John’s spreading lies that Jacob brainwashed me.”

“The Ryes also told us that he rapes you.”

Jacob let out a frustrated noise and I could tell he was working hard not to crush whatever it is he was carving.

“You’re kidding,” I said. 

“Nope. So you might want to clear that up.”

I growled and stood before I stalked over to Jacob’s radio that could also broadcast through the speakers in all the bunkers. I switched it on and to the appropriate channel. Jacob and Joey watched me with curious gazes, so before they could stop me, I started speaking into it. 

“Hello everyone. This is Daisy Seed, and I heard that there are some rumors going around out there. I want to make this very clear to all of you, whether you’re a follower or were once a Resistance member, that Jacob Seed did not brainwash me. Nor has he held me in his bunker against my will. Nor has he raped me. Ever. I love him, I chose to be here, and I have no idea what John or Joseph have told you, but Mason is Jacob’s son and we are living together as a family. 

“Joseph and I are no longer husband and wife, and I am no longer the Mother, as Joseph liked to call me. A title I did not want. I am thrilled to be _a_ mother, but I do not want to be _the_ Mother the same way Joseph is the Father. I am living with Jacob because it was my choice. I wanted to be near the father of my child and the man that I love. The reason you haven’t seen me around much is because I’m trying to recover from giving birth. But, of course, John’s seen fit to make it difficult for me by lying and manipulating all of you into thinking his oldest brother is controlling me.

“I don’t care what you think of me, what you say about me. I don’t care if you call me a slut, a whore, a harlot behind my back. But Jacob Seed is a good man who I love and who loves me. He would never hurt me. And he sure as fuck would never manipulate me or guilt me into having sex with him. Which, by the way, Staci Pratt has done. And so has Joseph. And so has John. John is jealous, and he’s spreading lies to make himself feel better. So be smart, and don’t believe a single word he says about his eldest brother, or me, or our son. Thank you.”

I clicked the radio off and Jacob shook his head while he pinched the bridge of his nose. Joey was laughing, hard, clutching her stomach as she rolled around on the ground, unable to hold it back anymore. 

“That was amazing, Rook,” she said through her laughter. “My God, that was fucking hilarious.”

“Jesus Christ,” Jacob growled. “You know Joseph still has power, right? So does John. The followers are gonna believe them over you, Daisy, especially since you gave up the position of the Mother.”

“What are they gonna do? Turn everyone against their own brother?” 

“Probably, yes.” he said, shaking his head. “You just brought down a rain of fire, here, Honey.”

“I’m not letting them walk all over us and talk shit just because they’re mad I chose you.”

“Baby, they’re not mad,” Jacob said softly, looking at me. “They’re fuckin’ sad. Joseph’s lost weight, hasn’t slept in weeks. John’s gained weight, is acting more psychotic than usual. They’re hurt. You broke their hearts, Daisy.”

I faltered, completely taken aback. I hadn’t even thought of it like that. I let out a sigh and blinked back the tears that threatened to spill from my eyes. I didn’t think they cared. I didn’t think they ever loved me at all. I let out a sigh and Jacob stood to hug me, pressing a kiss on my head. 

“I…” I let out a sigh. “They broke my heart too, though, Jake.”

“I know.”

Joey focused her attention on Mason, trying not to look at us. But I saw her sneaking glances at us as Jacob knelt down to my level and muttered sweet words to me before he kissed my head again.

“I’ll come with you tomorrow. I’ll try to make amends with them.”

~

We arrived at the family breakfast late and Joseph and John stared at me as I walked up with Jacob. Joey agreed to come to our room and watch Mason for us while we went. John was looking at me in a rage, and Joseph just looked sad. Faith got up and hugged me, ignoring the glares John shot her. 

“Look,” I said once we all sat down. “I’m sorry. For everything. It was just...everything felt so fucked up and weird and...Jacob and I had grown really close the past few years. It just didn’t seem fair to all of you to continue a relationship when I just wanted to be with him.”

The conversation lasted for three hours. By the end of it, John was still upset, but he begrudgingly forgave me. Joseph held me close, his eyes filled with tears. When we pulled out of the embrace, I glanced back at Jacob, who was watching with sad eyes. He loved me, but he loved his brothers, too and he wanted them to be happy, so I figured it was hard for him to see them sad. 

“How’s the child?” Joseph asked. 

“Healthier. Happy.”

“Good.” Joseph kissed my forehead. 


	34. Chapter 34

“Mommy!” Mason called as he came into our room, his little feet carrying him faster than they should be able to. Jacob seemed to sense the impending fall, and just as Mason tripped over a shoelace and started tumbling to the ground, Jacob scooped him up in his arms. 

“How was Uncle Joseph’s sermon, buddy?” I asked.

“Kinda boring,” Mason said, scratching his head. Jacob ruffled our son’s red hair and sat down on the bed next to me, a smile on his face. “He talks a _lot_.”

“I know,” I replied, a smile on my face. “How were Auntie Faith and Uncle John?”

Mason shrugged as he tugged at the stiff collar of his shirt. Joseph insisted that when his nephew attended a sermon, he must dress in his Sunday best. A rule that drove me absolutely fucking nuts, but I didn’t question it. Things had been rocky the last five years. While we’d made our peace a while ago, Joseph still struggled to even look at me. Plus, John was still angry I chose Jacob over him.

“Uncle John told me that you and Daddy are trying for another baby.”

I glanced at Jacob with a raised eyebrow at the double yikes of what our child had just said to us. For one thing, how the hell would John know anything about that. And for another, what the fuck made him think it was appropriate to mention to our five-year-old son?

“What, honey?” I asked, hoping for some form of clarity.

“Well, I told him how sometimes you guys sneak into the bathroom while I’m sleeping and I hear weird noises. And he told me that’s how babies are made. And he said that you and daddy must be trying for another baby just like me now that we’re about to go into the new world God had planned for us and he said that he used to do that with you too, Mommy.”

Mason’s eyes were nothing but curious, and he didn’t seem to understand the weight of his uncle’s words. Rage boiled within my belly as I looked at Jacob, who shook his head and clenched his fist at his side. John insisted he loved Mason and he’d never done anything like that before. Sure, he’d said stuff that we didn’t think was necessarily great, but he’d never blatantly tried to have the sex talk with our kid and then imply that he also used to bang me, too. Jacob looked ready to punch the wall but he was controlling himself. 

“He said Uncle Joseph used to do it, too. He said you were married to Uncle Joseph before!”

“Sweetie, it’s all very complicated-”

“Do you have babies with them the same way you do with daddy?”

I sighed, the red on my cheeks making the room warmer. Jacob stood and shook his head, pacing back and forth like he was resisting the urge to punch the wall. I watched him clench his fists so tight, I was sure his nails were digging into the skin of his palm. 

“No, honey. I’m just with your dad. It was a very confusing time before we had you.”

“So you had bathroom time with daddy, Uncle Joseph and Uncle John at the same time?”

Fucking. Hell. Oh my god. A blush rose to my cheeks but I kept my face stoic. No way was I gonna give that one away. 

“No, sweetheart. It was nothing like that. It’s all adult things and because you’re only five, it’d be hard for you to understand.”

As if I was _ever_ going to explain to my son that I’d once slept with both of his uncles and his father at the same time. The mere thought made me cringe so hard I worried I’d lock my face like that permanently. 

Joseph had behaved himself the past five years around Mason, thankfully, but I wondered whether John said these things in front of him and he allowed it. He’d been nothing but kind. It just bothered me that he insisted Mason come to every sermon. I’d told him a long time ago that Jacob and I had no intention of being part of New Eden. Jacob already had plans to either rebuild or start from scratch on a cabin he’d had out in the woods near Faith’s region all those years ago. 

While Joseph hadn’t been very receptive to that - and had, in fact, thrown an absolute fit - he eventually gave in and said he understood. Jacob was never meant to be part of the world Joseph was preaching about. Joseph had gone from leading a militarized cult to insisting upon peace and no weapons around the new compound they would build. Jacob had promptly said “fuck that” to the idea and taken whatever weapons we had to spare and stored them away for us to use when the time came.

“Jacob?” I asked, seeing the intensity in his eyes.

“I’m gonna kill him,” he growled, looking dead serious as he says it to me. “He can’t just say things like that to him.”

“Don’t kill anyone, daddy!” Mason cried, utterly devastated by threats that he didn’t understand are empty. “Uncle John just wanted to tell me because he loves Mommy.”

I let out a disgusted noise without meaning to and Jacob just shook his head again. “I’m not really going to kill him, Mason. I just…if he starts talking about that stuff again, tell him to stop. If he doesn’t, just leave, okay? That’s not information you need to know.”

“Is it bad?”

“No, kiddo. It’s just, it’s private. And you’re not old enough to fully understand everything, okay?”

“Why not?”

“Mason, let’s just leave it alone, okay?”

Mason sighed, looking up at me with his big blue eyes. “I’m sorry, mommy.”

“It’s okay, honey.”

“Uncle Joseph said that in a month we’ll get to go above ground!”


	35. Chapter 35

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAPPINESS. FOR ONCE!!!!! YAY!!!   
> Thank you to everyone who read this far, who gave me kudos or left a comment. :) I hope you enjoyed it. One more chapter left!!

Preparing to go back into the world was a struggle, to say the least. With all the people down in the bunkers, all the supplies we would need to move out, it required a lot of coordination between Jacob, John, Joseph, Faith and myself. Somehow, I still ended up becoming a Herald, it seemed, but I was mostly focused on behind-the-scenes planning than anything else, thankfully. I wouldn’t know what to do if I had to sit in front of everyone during Joseph’s sermons again. 

My friends helped, too. They were ready and willing to get the fuck out of the bunkers. Mason practically vibrated with excitement the week leading up to the big day, unable to stay still for more than two minutes at a time. No matter what Jacob or I did, he had to move, had to cheer, scream, jump, run. It was exhausting, especially when he woke us up in the middle of the night screeching about how excited he was to see the world. I loved it, though, despite the lack of sleep or any sort of break - his excitement made me smile.

I woke up the morning of what Joseph had so appropriately termed the “Rising” and sprinted to the bathroom, puking heavily into the toilet for a solid five minutes. My cycle was already a month late at that point and I knew that I was pregnant, but I hadn’t taken any sort of test. The proof was all in the morning sickness, new cravings and new aversions that had plagued me for the past month.

Jacob came into the bathroom with a smile on his face and pulled me in for a kiss despite the disgusting state of my mouth. Mason, still vibrating with his joy and excitement at finally seeing the real world, joined us and jumped up and down asking why everyone was so happy that mommy was sick. Jacob laughed, purely laughed, and for a moment, I realized that I was the happiest I had ever been in my whole life. I had Jacob, I had Mason, and there was another baby that would join our little family. Jacob caught my eye and pulled me close to him as he kissed my head and muttered something about how happy he was. 

After breakfast, all gathered in John’s bunker and Joseph gave a long, dull sermon. No one in the crowd could pay attention, even the most devoted of his followers fidgeted with excitement to get back up to the world we’d left behind. Mason and Carmina Rye played at our feet as I stood with Nick and Kim and the rest of my friends - Jacob was up at the front with his brothers and Faith. For a moment, I was eternally grateful that I didn’t have to assume a leadership role as the Mother any longer. The morning sickness still had a hold on me and I couldn’t imagine having people watching me or looking to me for guidance while I felt sick and disgusting.

Finally, Joseph said that he, Jacob and John would venture outside first. He said they would come back for us once they’d ensured everything was safe and no longer toxic and full of radiation. Jacob glanced at me and could probably sense the anxiety that rose in my belly. He hadn’t told me that, likely because he knew I wouldn’t be happy about it.

“You okay?” Kim asked.

“I didn’t know that was the plan,” I whispered back. “What happens if they all die out there?”

Kim shrugged. “Jacob’s the scariest man I’ve ever seen. I think he’d survive John and Joseph if anything bad is out there.” She glanced down at our feet, at our kids playing with a toy truck. “Plus, he’s got little Mason. He wouldn’t let himself die, Rook.”

I smiled, but it didn’t ease the nerves inside of me. Jacob, despite Joseph’s orders, was heavily armed. I spotted his sniper rifle on his back and two additional guns and multiple knives on his person. He caught my eye and smiled at me, as if assuring me everything would be okay. I picked Mason up, who protested loudly enough to distract a few followers around us. 

“I shall usher you into the new world that God has prepared for his children!” Joseph concluded, dramatic as ever. 

I had started wondering over the last seven years of getting to know the brothers if Joseph wasn’t more dramatic than John. I’d always called John a drama queen before but Joseph took that word to a whole other level whenever he was preaching. I pushed through the crowd as the brothers began to prepare for their journey above ground. I wasn’t going to let Jacob leave without at least a kiss for myself and Mason. When I reached them, I grabbed Jacob’s arm.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” I asked.

“I knew you’d just be upset about it,” he replied as he ruffled Mason’s hair. 

I pulled him to me and hugged him as tightly as I could. “Be careful.”

“I always am, baby,” he teased before he kissed me deeply. Mason let out a disgusted noise and I chuckled. 

Joseph came to us. “He’s going to be fine,” he assured. Jacob left the two of us alone and Joseph pulled me into an embrace. “This world was made for all of us.”

I rolled my eyes. I still doubted him, despite the many times he’d shown me his power and proved that he was right. I remembered the first time he showed me his visions, how terrified I was. He kissed my head and gave Mason a kiss too.

John was next. “You okay?” he asked. “You look ill.”

“She’s fine,” Joseph said from near the stairs. “In fact, she’s practically glowing.”

I blushed deeply and held Mason tighter, glancing back to make sure no one else had heard him. John’s eyebrows rose with surprise and he smiled. 

“So you  _ were  _ trying then?”

_ Oh, for fuck’s sake _ . “Yeah, but that doesn’t mean you needed to say that to my kid.”

“Say what, mommy?”

“Nothing, sweetheart.” I kissed his cheek to distract him. “John, be careful. Please tell me you have a gun or something in case it all goes wrong.”

“I do, my dear,” he said, and he pushed his jacket aside to show me his pistol. “I’ll watch Jacob’s back.”

I snorted. “Yeah, I’m sure he’ll need it.”

He smiled sadly and pulled me into an embrace before he kissed my head, the same way Joseph had earlier. He kissed Mason too, and looked at him almost longingly. I knew he probably wondered what would’ve happened if he had been our child, if I would have chosen him instead. But I’d always known it was Jacob, from that moment that he picked me up in the woods after my crash and I’d felt at home in his arms.

With one last look at us, the brothers departed, and I made my way back to my friends with an anxious stomach.

Faith stayed with the group as we waited. There were a lot of us, and of course, people were distracted as ever. They muttered speculations to each other, whispered about the paradise waiting for them outside. Carmina and Mason found some of the other kids that they usually ran around with, and they played with their toys and ran between the adults, so full of energy that none of them could sit still. I held my breath, tried to calm the dizziness that took over me after an hour had gone by.

“You okay, there, Rook?” Nick asked as sweat starts to dew on my hairline.

“I feel awful.”

“He’s comin’ back for ya, Rook,” Sharky said, appearing out of nowhere. “That mountain man ain’t ever felt anythin’ in his heart ‘til you and that kid of yours.”

“That’s not the problem, Shark,” I said, wiping my forehead. “I just need to sit down.” 

I glanced around and saw that most of the cultists taking the seats in the large room were the older ones, or the ones who injured themselves either in the Collapse or somehow within the bunker. I let out a sigh and felt the world spinning. 

“Or water…”

“Jeez, Dep!” Nick was supporting me in no time as I began to fall backwards. “You sick or somethin’?”

“Something like that,” I replied. 

“Mommy?” Mason asked, tugging on my shirt. “Are you okay?”

“Just fine, buddy. Don’t worry about me. Keep having fun.” 

I glanced around and saw that others have noticed me, including Faith. I knew I couldn’t spill the beans right then, as I saw her walking towards me with a worried look on her face. If I did, she would announce it to the entire crowd (maybe not even on purpose, considering how loud she could get when she was excited). 

“Someone get her a chair,” she called. 

Immediately, one appeared. I frowned, wondering if there was Bliss in the air. She eased me into it and Mason tried to climb onto my lap, but Kim distracted him. 

We waited another four hours. I got some water and started to cool down once people gave me some space. But I got nervous again when the brothers still didn’t return. I wondered if it was going to be dark by the time they got back. I panicked, wondering if they all got eaten by some mutated animals or if there were others out there who were violent that might have attacked them. 

Finally, Joseph and John returned. Immediately, my heart rate increased and I felt my stomach drop in worry. Where the fuck was Jacob? Why do they look unharmed? What was going on? Had they killed their oldest brother for taking me away from them? Had he ventured off into some part of the world that was still full of radiation? I couldn’t control my breathing and began to hyperventilate, and Joey came over to help me breathe through it.

“My children, Brother Jacob is waiting for you in our new Paradise. Once we are above ground, once we take in the beauty that is above us and we rest and rejuvenate, I will lead you to where our New Eden will be created!”

We got up the stairs, and it was a slow goddamn process. I wasn’t sure whose idea it was to gather everyone, from all the bunkers, to make the journey above, but I wanted to hit them. I had the feeling it was Joseph or John, considering how dramatic it all really was. 

It took almost as long as it took the brothers to explore to get everyone out in an orderly fashion. The first gust of wind on my face almost startled me at how different the air felt. It was thicker, almost, and I could taste a hint of metal. Was it safe for us? I remembered reading about Chernobyl, how the people who tried to put the fire out had tasted metal in the air, and all died. Panic continued to grip me until I glimpsed at the world around us. 

It was shrouded in darkness due to how long the process had taken, but the sky was glorious. Lights that reminded me of photos of the Northern Lights danced above us and I could see endless amounts of flowers that I’d never seen before, sprung up in armies, taking over the whole world. From great destruction came great beauty and the sight of it knocked the air out of my lungs. 

I looked around and could see the ruins of homes, shops, barns in the distance. Mason demanded me to put him down so I did, my whole body distracted and numb as I took in the new world. He sprinted to find Carmina and they marveled at it together. 

Jacob found me right away and moved me away from the crowd. He asked about Mason and I pointed to where he and Carmina were currently lying in the grass, staring up at the sky. He told me about a cabin he found and how we’d trek there in the morning. No wonder they were gone so long, he must’ve walked pretty far. 

Peggies that were once Chosen worked to build makeshift shelters for the night, while others worked to get wood for a fire to keep us warm. Many of the other men and women hauled the supplies out from the storage areas in the bunkers, and Joseph gave a nighttime sermon once all of it was done. He informed us that Falls End was the safest place, that the Whitetail Mountains were steeped in radiation still, but Faith had worked out that there was a possibility of being able to journey into it as long as we took plenty of Bliss. They weren’t positive about it yet, but Joseph assured us he would test it on his own and God would show him the way. 

Once the sermon was over, Mason begged me and Jacob to let him sleep outside with Carmina. I was hesitant at first, who knew what kind of wildlife was out there, plus two little kids couldn’t defend themselves. Nick and Hurk Jr. said they would watch them, so I agreed reluctantly.

Jacob and I slept in a tent together and as he spooned me, he kept his fingers on my belly the entire time. 

~

The next morning, my friends all went their separate ways. We all hugged and said goodbye, and I told them the coordinates for the cabin we would likely be living in. They even thanked Joseph collectively, and Faith and Jacob for taking care of them and trusting them. 

Pratt came up to me cautiously. “Hey,” he said. 

“What d’ya want, Peaches?” Jacob asked, protectively. 

“It’s fine, Jake,” I said. “Can you go pack everything up?” 

He glared at Pratt but said nothing as he kissed me quickly and then headed over to where John was putting together our supplies for our journey. Pratt looked at me with pained eyes. 

“Look, I was a complete asshole.”

“Which time?”

“All of ‘em,” he said. “I wasn’t handling the bunker well, and I really hated Jacob for what he did to me while I was his prisoner. My mind was just...so scrambled and fucked up. I felt really alone and angry that you had sided with them, and that you loved them. It just...I couldn’t understand it. But that’s not an excuse for acting the way I did, and it doesn’t even justify how shitty I was to you when we were together. I know I hurt you, and I’m real sorry.”

I smiled and pulled him into a hug. “It’s okay. Thank you.” He hugged me back tightly. “So what’s your plan now?”

“I think Joey and I are gonna try to find someplace else to settle,” he said. “Hope County’s just got some bad memories, is all.”

“Well, if you do, try to come back some time. Good luck, Staci.”

“You too, Rookie.”

I laughed and hugged him once more before he walked over to Joey. Jacob made his way back to me slowly, not wanting to appear like he was watching me the whole time. 

“You okay?”

“Yeah, it was a good talk.” 

He smiled and kissed me.

We said a final goodbye to all my friends, and we all agreed to stay in contact. Joseph provided us with radios, one stationary to keep in the house and two portable ones that we could use if we were out and about. 

Then, it was time to say goodbye to the followers. It was an awkward affair, Joseph announced our departure and choice to live on our own in the new world. Of course, that didn’t mean we were never going to see them again. Faith insisted we have a family dinner every week, so we planned on seeing each other again in just a few short days.

We made the trek to the Henbane that day with two cars we found in working condition. We loaded the cars with supplies that Joseph provided to us from the bunker - clothes, food, guns, ammo, water...everything we would need. Jacob took the first car and I took the second one, following behind him, with Mason in the back seat amongst the chaos. Finally, we came upon an abandoned old cabin and it was in almost perfect shape. I gawked at it and Jacob smiled as he took in my expression. Mason sprinted inside, despite our calls to him because we needed to secure the place. 

Jacob went in with his gun and checked around. No one and nothing that could pose a threat was found and we settled in. Mason screamed at the windows, so thrilled that sunlight would pour into the house and we wouldn’t be in the dark with artificial light anymore.

He slept well that night, in his own bedroom, while Jacob and I stayed up late figuring out plans for security. And for our new baby. For the first time in the longest time, everything felt right. Like I was meant to be there. And my heart felt so full.


	36. Chapter 36

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't believe we've reached the end!! When I started writing this fic a while ago, I didn't plan anything out and just went with it, and I had no idea how it would end up. But here we are! I hope you all liked it!! :) Thank you for making my first experience on AO3 so wonderful and amazing.

We heard the motorcycles and cars before we saw them as loud music shot through the air like a bullet. The bikes didn’t sound like anything that people around Hope County rode, and panic gripped me as Mason stood and ran to the window to look outside. The roar of the engines was too loud to be just one or a couple, and Jacob looked at me with a worried glance.

“Mom?” Mason said from his spot.

I stood and moved to the window while Jacob went into the other room to grab our guns. He came back quickly, handing one to me, one to Mason, and the other one to Charlie, who prepared it as if she’s a natural shooter. Which, she was. Jacob’s pride and joy was how well she could shoot and hunt at only ten years old. 

Her red ringlets bounced as she moved from the kitchen table to join us at the window. We saw motorcycles then, darting between the trees. My heart thumped loudly in my chest as Jacob’s hand came to rest on my shoulder. 

“Are they a threat, Pop?” 

“What'd I teach you?”

“Anything or anyone that’s unfamiliar is a threat,” both Mason and Charli repeated back. 

“Mason, you know your spot. Get on up there.”

Mason sprinted to the other end of the house, climbing the stairs loudly with his father’s red sniper rifle in his hands. I clicked the safety off my shotgun and prepared it, too. Jacob told me to stay inside as the bikes and cars all parked in front of our yard. Somehow, they knew we lived there. Or, at least, that  _ someone  _ did.

We hadn’t heard any radio communication about a threat. But, then again, maybe those people fucked up the signals or blocked them all together. There was no way of knowing, really. Charli looked up at me and I wrapped my free arm around her small shoulders, telling her silently to wait until her dad came back or signaled for us to come out.

“Can I help you?” Jacob asked, his voice gruff and hard as he stepped down the three stairs to the ground. 

The two women that stepped forward remove their helmets and I saw that they were twins. They looked at my husband as if he was a joke, not even a real threat, a silly little animal who had wandered into a trap. 

“Listen here, old man,” one of them said, the one in the blue. “We’re here to take your shit. You’re outnumbered ten to one and look too old to even hold that damn weapon properly, huh?”

“No fuckin’ way,” he growled. “This is my home. I’m not givin’ it up to a group of wanna-be thugs.”

The woman in pink chuckled. “Let me explain somethin’ to you, grandpa,” she yelled. “The world is split into two types of people. Problem makers and problem solvers. And do you know what we do with problems?” 

“I’m gonna guess it’s something violent?” Jacob retorted. 

“So violent, your rotten old mind can wrap around it,” the woman in blue said. “So, why don’t you just give us your shit and we can be on our goddamn way.”

“I’m not givin’ you a goddamn thing,” he said as he raised his weapon.

He glanced briefly back at me and I readied my gun, so did Charli, before we walked outside, guns pointed and ready to shoot. We were outnumbered, the girls weren’t lying. I snuck a glance to my son on the roof, waiting for any of them to try and touch us. 

“Oh, look at this, Lou!” The woman in blue cried. “Grandpa here got himself a hot wife and a kid.”

“How’d you manage that, grandpa?” the woman named Lou asked. “She looks a little outta your league.”

“Get the fuck away from our house,” I said. 

“You hear that, Mickie?” Lou wore a smirk on her face. “Kitten’s got claws.” 

She walked up to me, and as she stepped forward, I held my gun tighter. Charli remained at my side, making me even more worried. I sized up the woman and her twin sister. They were both muscular, strong. And they appeared to be the leaders. But I’d fought off an entire cult before. I’d done shit, killed people...there was no way these girls were going to scare me.

“So, what’s the set up, here?” Lou asked as she got to me. “He provides for you and you pop out some brats for him? Keep him warm on those cold and lonely nights?” She glanced over at Jacob, her eyes gave him a once over. “Not much of a looker, is he? Bet you don’t even like it when he fucks you.”

“Don’t talk about that shit in front of my daughter,” I growled. “And you must have no clue who he is, because if you were smart, you would’ve gotten the fuck outta here the second he came out here with his gun.”

Lou laughed, holding her helmet in her hands tightly. “You think you’re so tough, huh, rabbit?”

“Tougher than you and your pathetic excuse for a gang.”

She slammed the helmet into my head, knocking me down as I felt blood swell up in my mouth. Jacob let out a shout and sprinted to me, his knife out, ready to attack Lou. But one of their cronies beat him to the punch and grabbed him, wrestling him to the ground. Lou laughed as Charli let out a whimper. 

“Aw, does that scare you, little rabbit?” Lou questioned with a laugh.

Charli paused for a moment before her helpless look melted into pure fury. She pointed her gun at Lou’s face and raised it so she was ready to shoo her point blank in the head. 

“Touch my mom or dad again and I’ll fucking kill you.”

“Look at this,” Mickie said, coming up by her sister. “This whole damn family is absolutely crazy. Shit, I’d love to have a little kid do our dirty work.” 

“If y’all had been smart, you’d just give us all your shit,” Lou said. “Gotta pretend to be tough, huh?”

“Touch my daughter and I’ll skin you alive!” Jacob growled. 

Lou rolled her eyes and walked over to him, smacking him with her helmet the same way she did to me, except she did it twice. A third time. I screamed at her to stop as blood sprayed over her face. If my husband died, there would be hell to pay and I would become the woman I used to be when I first arrived to Hope County.

When she was about to hit him one more time, commotion distracted her and she turned to find that most of her people were taken out. A knife whizzed past her face and landed in the head of one of the thugs near her. I smirked, proud of my son for being so stealthy and smarter than his own parents. 

Mickie saw the smirk and punched me in the gut, causing me to double over, before she pointed her gun at my head and pressed into my skin there. “You ready to die, rabbit?”

Suddenly, arrows whizzed through the air from the trees. Laughter bubbled up inside of me as I saw their panicked faces as three more men were taken out. Mickie screamed at Lou and they sprinted to their motorcycles.

“We’ll be back,” Lou shouted at me before they started the engines and fled. 

Jacob somehow managed to stand despite his state and shot his gun at them multiple times but missed. Just as quickly as they appeared, they were gone. The music blared in the distance but faded as I ran to my husband to inspect the damage. It was bad, and he was out of it, but I could tell my face was fucked up too. He stumbled a bit and we fell into the grass as I held onto him. 

“Charli, the med kit!” I shouted. 

Charli ran to grab it from the house and came back quickly. I tried to maneuver my hands to open it, but Jacob was lolling on my shoulder and his weight was too much that I couldn’t move. Someone knelt by my side and I looked up to see John.

“He okay?” 

“Yeah,” I muttered. “Can you help me get him inside?” 

We moved Jacob as best we could. We got him onto the bed and John had a few of the Chosen who were with him to help with cleaning the wounds and stitching what needed to be closed up. I helped, too, as best as I could. I’d gotten extensive training from Jacob on how to handle wounds (because of course, there’d been plenty over the ten years we’d lived in the new world). Finally, he was cleaned up and I had John stay with us, and the Chosen who I could thank with food and drink. 

“Who the fuck were they?” I asked John as we sat at the table while his soldiers inspected the bikes and some of them talked to Mason and Charli.

“Highwaymen,” John replied. “We’ve been dealing with them for a little while now. Didn’t think they’d come over here, and we didn’t want to risk radioing you in case they intercepted the message.”

John grabbed my chin and moved my head so he could look at the wound. “You’re gonna need stitches.”

“Won’t be the first time,” I replied. “I’ll have Mason do ‘em when you guys leave.”

John shook his head and grabbed the med kit to clean the wound to avoid infection before he stitched it up for me. I thanked him and he smiled. 

“I think you four might want to come live at New Eden for a little bit,” he said. “I know you don’t want to give up your home but...these people are dangerous.”

“How dangerous?”

“Well they blew up a train carrying Thomas Rush and his Security Captain and killed almost everyone on board. Carmina Rye had tried to bring them here to help the people at Prosperity. They’ve done a lot of damage since they’ve arrived. We’ve stayed mostly out of it.”

“Shit. What about the others? Grace, Jerome, Sharky, Hurk? Are they there?”

“Yeah, supposedly the Security Captain’s been doing a lot of damage,” John said. He smiled at me. “Reminded me of you back in the day.”

I laughed and rolled my eyes. “Hope the Captain doesn’t fall out of an airplane.”

John chuckled and shook his head. We discussed the updates for the next hour, and I debated whether I wanted to leave our home. It wasn’t what I wanted at all, and I knew Jacob would go absolutely ballistic. But I did not want my children in danger, especially from people that clearly did not have a problem terrorizing young kids. 

We ate dinner together and Jacob came out after a little while, so John proposed his idea to us. Jacob was aggressive at first and said no. 

“This is our home, John. It’s been our home for ten years. I’m not about to abandon it so those people can ransack it later and take everything that belongs to us.”

“Think of the kids, Jake,” I said. “They love going outside and spending time hunting and fishing...I don’t feel safe letting them outside anymore. There’s safety in numbers in New Eden, plus we’ll be with your family.”

“They haven’t really tried to touch us,” John explained. “We’ve heard about the issues going on outside our walls, but they haven’t acted overly cruel with us. Then again, they arrived earlier this week so who knows what their plans are.”

~

Eventually, Jacob caved. He set up boobie traps all around the house and within it, with our help, and then we journeyed back to New Eden with John. We’d been there plenty of times, and the kids had a few friends there that they could spend time with. Joseph was happy to see us, so was Faith. The only one who wasn’t was Joseph’s son, Ethan. I’d never been a fan of him, even when he was a kid and first came with his mother, who had abandoned New Eden and ran away, leaving her son in Joseph’s care. 

John had a wife, too. Holly. They were together before the Collapse but Joseph had caught them and forbade John from seeing her again because she was causing him to give in to his sin. She did not like me at all, despite the fact that so many goddamn years had gone by and I was not even remotely interested in John and it was clear he was not interested in me any more. They had a few children and seemed happy together, but I could feel dislike and jealousy radiating from her every time she looked at me. 

Faith was with a woman named Stephanie, who had been a loyal follower of the cult before the Collapse. Apparently they’d been together for years and not told anyone, and they were a cute couple. I was so incredibly happy that Faith had someone to care for her and to care for, and the two of them had adopted a child whose mother died a few months after being in the bunker. Apparently Joseph knew all about it, but Faith had begged him not to tell anyone. She hadn’t been ready to make their relationship public at the time of the Collapse and he respected her wishes because he’d seen it in his visions that they were meant for each other. 

After everything that had happened, Joseph and John were finally happy, though I knew Megan’s departure had hurt Joseph immensely. Megan had hated me, too, and must’ve noticed that Joseph was still sad about our “divorce”, because according to John, she confronted him about it a lot. Joseph’s work in life was never easy, it was hard to be a prophet and lead a group of people, and it was wearing on him, I could tell.

“Daisy,” he said after we finished dinner and everyone was leaving the room to go outside. “May I speak with you?”

“Sure,” I said. I sat down beside him and could tell he was in pain. “What’s wrong?”

“I need to go to my sanctuary for a bit. I am going to leave Ethan in charge,” he said. 

“Okay, whatever you need,” I replied. 

He took my hand in his and I frowned. What was he going to tell me? Something bad was coming, I felt it. 

“You are the only one who can save us,” he said. “These Highwaymen are dangerous. We cannot fight them alone, and neither can the outsider who will be coming here to help us. You are needed.”

“Joseph, I can’t,” I replied. “I gave up that life.”

“You speak in violence, Rook,” he said. “I do not. Nor does anyone here, not anymore, and certainly not the same way you did when you first arrived. We only act out of necessity for our survival, we left the blood bath we once were behind as we left the old world behind. Please.”

I sighed. “Jacob’s not going to like this.”

“I know. I will speak with him. But I need you, Daisy. I need you now more than ever to act as my Judge and save us all.”

“What do you need me to do?” 

He pulled out some clothes and a mask from behind him. “I know you do not wish to be the Lamb who opened the first seal any longer, nor do you wish to be someone who would harm others. God has spoken to me, your past sins have been washed away. And as my Judge, these future sins are not sins at all. They are survival. Please take these. You are not Daisy when you wear this, do you understand? You are my Judge. You are not the one committing acts of violence, the Judge is. And when you are done, you can take off this mask and be Daisy once more.”

I nodded. Something within me stirred. Call it divine purpose or anxiety, whatever you want, but I knew something about this was special. I took the clothes Joseph gave me and he kissed my forehead. 

“Thank you, Judge.” He stood. “When the time comes, our outside savior will come for me. Show them the Bliss. Show them how to survive the perilous journey, and I will take it from there.”

I nodded and with one final squeeze of my shoulder, Joseph left. 

And Daisy Seed left, too, as I returned to who I once was, who I was always meant to be. 

**Author's Note:**

> Hi All! Thank you so very much if you've read this far! :) This is my first ever posting to AO3, and I've had this whole fic on my Drive for a while, but I was nervous to publish it. Hope you like it!!


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